Rogue's eyes snapped open, as there was a knock at her door. She sighed and climbed off her bed. This was starting to get annoying. She was still wearing the green dress she'd fallen asleep in so there was no need to change. She growled and marched up to the door. She threw it open.
'Listen I told you…oh it's you.'
'Were you expecting someone else, Rogue?'
'No, professor. Just thought…never mind. '
She stood there in an awkward silence trying to debate how to nicely tell him to leave. After a moment she shrugged and moved.
'Come in.'
'Thank you.'
She waited at the door.
'It's just me today.' He whispered.
She closed the door and sat down on the sofa. He was opposite her, hands carefully resting on either side of his chair.
'Who brought you here?'
'Storm did this time. She needed to get some shopping done and I thought I'd check up on you.'
'You don't need to. I'm fine.'
'Are you?'
She looked away. She knew where this conversation would go. The professor always came. Ever since she left he came to visit. He never asked her straight out to come back but the others did. Which is probably why he was alone now. He was the only person she didn't try to punch. Or in some cases throw things.
'I'm…coping. Okay?'
'You know you don't like being alone Rogue. No-one does. There are people that care for you.'
'Sure they care for awhile. But it doesn't last long.'
'I heard about your fiancé.'
'Ex-fiancé. As of yesterday.'
'I'm sorry.'
'You should be. You said he'd understand. He didn't. He left me without so much as a second thought.'
'Rogue when I read his mind he didn't mind mutants.'
'I know he didn't. But it was just that my mutation in particular disgusted him. Do you know what that feels like? You can't know because who doesn't love your mutation.'
'I'm so sorry.'
She sighed and looked down at her gloved hands.
'Why are you here?'
'Scott and Jean are having an engagement party. Scott would like you to be there.'
'He finally trusts her?'
'She ended it with Logan a year ago.'
'I've been gone for two.' She muttered.
The professor remained silent. Rogue tried to scrutinize his expression but it didn't give away a thing. She groaned and then stood up. She grabbed a duffel bag and started to pack. Just essentials. One week she thought.
'Thank you.' Called the professor.
-xXx-
She looked around at her old room. All her stuff was gone courtesy of the professor sending it to her. It now belonged to Jubilee who she didn't mind sharing a room with. She dumped her bag in the corner before heading downstairs. They were probably all waiting to see her. She entered the kitchen and was practically knocked over by Kitty.
'Rogue, Oh my god! It's been way to long.'
'Kitty…get off me, now.'
Kitty smiled and backed away slowly. Rogue nodded her head at everyone. Jubilee, Kitty and Bobby stood nearest to her. Jean and Scott were sitting down, hands interlaced, and Storm was cooking. Rogue directed her attention to Jean and Scott.
'Congratulations. I'm really happy for you.'
'Thanks Rogue.' Smiled Scott.
She nodded and turned around. She walked out towards the front gardens. She smiled as she saw the familiar bench in the distance. She really had missed this place. A little. She sat down and titled her head upwards to the sky. The wind blew softly moving her hair slowly.
'Hey Marie.'
'Go away, you're ruining my moment.'
'We need to talk.'
'Talk then, just don't expect me to listen.'
'Fine. I wanted to ask about Ryan…'
'There is no Ryan.'
'Oh.'
'Don't get your hopes up.'
'What happened?'
'What usually happens Logan? My powers happened. The girl next door happened. Me walking in on them together because my timing sucks. You know the usual.'
'Marie…'
'Oh would you stop saying my name! It's so annoying that you think using my real name makes me like you any better.'
She opened her eyes and glared at him. But her expression softened as she saw the sadness in his eyes.
'It's really hard, isn't it, losing the one you love?' she whispered.
'It hurts more knowing you hurt the one you love. Having to watch her suffer and know it's because of a lie you told her.'
She opened her mouth but was speechless. Was he talking about her? It was the first time he had ever even mentioned feeling guilty. Her eyes burned and the familiar pain in her chest started again.
[How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking
Every breath with you
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all]
She looked up and he was walking away. She stood but her head felt weird. Not again, she thought to herself. She shook her head and went into the opposite direction.
'Hey Rogue.'
She lifted her head up and found Scott standing in front of her. She smiled weakly.
'Hey, where's Jean?'
'Getting ready. Are you okay?'
'Yeah, just being brings back memories.'
'I'm sorry…'
'No! I wanted to be here, with you. You're my friend, you know?'
'I'm glad you came.'
'I'm so confused.'
'You know, he's really not a bad guy.'
'Wait, let my record this moment. Where's my phone?'
'I'm serious!'
'And I'm the queen. Wait, no I'm not.'
'Look, I knew he didn't really love her. Just like she didn't really love him. Not in that deep connecting way that he loves you. You know he does.'
'I'll believe it, when he tells me.'
'He knows you better than you think.'
'Yeah, yeah.'
'Well get going, the party starts in an hour.'
She groaned before storming off to her room.
[How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all]
'Ow! Could you not aim at my head.'
'I did say phase.'
'You mean mumbled.'
'Sorry Kitty.'
Rogue watched Kitty roll her eyes before pulled on the high-heel. Rogue looked down at the black cocktail dress she was wearing. It fell to her ankles, covering the dreaded four-inch heels. A present from Jubilee.
'So did you talk?'
'Huh?'
She looked at Kitty who sighed.
'To Logan. Did you talk to him? Or throw him with another chair.'
'How do you know?'
'I hear things. Is it true you told him that if he ever darkened your doorstep again you'd throw him out the window.'
'No, I told him I'd give him a frying pan to the head.'
'Ah…'
'He walked away.'
'Oh.'
'It's the first time and all I could do was watch him leave. He's given up.'
'No, after everything, he'd never give up on you.'
'What do I care? I've moved on.'
'Have you?'
She felt her eyes sting again. She shook her head and stood. Taking a quick look at herself in the mirror, she checked her hair, smiled at Kitty and left the room.
[So take a look at me now
Oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face]
She watched as everyone danced and talked. The gardens had been decorated beautifully by the girls and it looked positively magical. Like a fairytale. Things had changed. But hadn't. Not really. She felt awkward being around others. Especially after being so cold and distant. Throwing fits and tantrums whenever her friends came to see her, throwing objects whenever Logan came over and refusing to let anyone touch her. She looked up as she saw the professor approach her. She smiled half-heartedly.
'Hey professor.'
'Hello Rogue. Is something wrong?'
'I changed. And not into a better person.'
'You're still a good person, Rogue. You just still holding a grudge against something in the past.'
'What if it's too late?'
'Do you think it is?'
She looked over to where Logan was sitting, beer in his hand. He looked miserable. She'd done that. She shrugged and walked away.
[Take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds
And that's what I've got to face]
'Rogue?'
She turned. What was it talk to Rogue day?
'Hey Bobby.'
'You okay?'
'Yeah, brilliant. Um...so, you and Kitty?'
'Yeah, you don't mind?'
'No, of course not. So... shouldn't you be with her.'
'I'm just checking on you. You looked upset after the professor talked to you.'
'It's nothing.'
'Are you staying?'
She thought about Logan. Why complicate his life?
'No, I'm going back in a week.'
'Oh.'
'You can come visit. I don't think I'll move again.'
'Yeah, you used to move alot.'
'Every time the professor told you my new location.'
'You never got tired?'
'Sometimes, but I regret it now.'
'Hey, it'll be okay.'
He squeezed her shoulder and walked back to the party.
[I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all]
She sniffled and the tears flowed. She looked up and saw Logan's back to her. The tears felt foreign, especially since she hadn't cried in such a long time. She clutched her chest and slipped off her heels. Hitching up her dress she ran into the forest. She kept running. She wanted him, she needed him, and she loved him. There was only one person who she needed and she had pushed him so far away hoping that if she kept distance that it would hurt less. And it did hurt less, but now seeing him just brought it back.
[ Take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you is
All I can do
And that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now
'Cause I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've got to take ]
She tripped and fell. Brushing off the dirt, she sat and curled in a ball, crying. Suddenly strong arms pulled her up and hugged her tight.
'It's okay, Marie. I'm here.'
'Logan...'
She pulled back and looked up at him. His fingers brushed away the tears. She wrapped her arms around his neck.
'What is it?' he whispered.
'Tell me, I'm not too late. That I haven't hurt you.'
'You didn't hurt me. I hurt you. And I'm sorry.'
'I love you.'
'I love you too Marie, always have.'
She looked into his eyes and smiled. He pulled her closer. She rested her head on his chest and breathed in, finally feeling like her heart was back.
-xXx-
