A/N: This is the part where Alison goes beserk when she sees Felix in her yard, and threatens him with the gun, but from inside Alison's head. It's soccer cop I guess? Okay, it's clearly soccer cop, but from a slanty view. Also, sorry it's so short.
Disclaimer: Surprise, bitch.
The gun is cold and heavy in your hands, and Sarah calls your name, tells you to put it down. . You barely hear her. There's someone in your yard, someone sneaking, spying, learning your dirty little secret, and your mind is racing frantically. You're in danger, your children are in danger, your very livelihood is threatened, and the metal in your hands should feel as though it can provide you with safety, but all it feels is cold and heavy.
Sarah is in the line of fire, and you don't really want to shoot her so you tell her, "Get out of the way!" Your voice is shaky and broken.
She comes closer to you and lifts her hands in surrender. She says your name again, then "He's with me, okay?" She slowly steps closer, and her face softens a bit, and her hand reaches toward you with a small shake of her head.
"It's okay," she whispers, and suddenly she is Beth, and she is pleading with you to put the gun down, and you're pointing a gun at Beth, what are you doing?
So you lower the gun slightly, and her hand gently pushes it away, and you step forward slightly, waiting for Beth's warm embrace to follow, but all that comes is a stinging slap to your face.
She becomes Sarah again in an instant. She grabs you by your collar and yanks you close, and you hear her snarl. "You point a gun at my brother again and I'll kick the living shite out of you."
She releases her grip on your sweater and you stumble back, one hand on your stinging cheek, stunned and still confused.
It was Beth, she was Beth, she looked at you with those sad Beth eyes, those lips formed Beth's words, it's okay, you were pointing that gun at Beth.
But no.
Beth was gone. Beth is gone. Beth is dead. She isn't Beth.
Sarah isn't Beth, you tell yourself. Sarah isn't Beth, no matter how much you may see Beth in her.
The gun is cold and heavy in your lap this time, and your hand is still resting on your still hot and stinging cheek. The blood pulses occasionally under your hand, and every beat says 'Beth'. Your wet eyes say 'Sarah', and you hate her, you hate her, you hate her.
You hear Cosima softly whisper your name, but all you can think is Beth, everything is Beth, and your body is ripping itself in two and everything is wrong and Beth is gone.
You are lost. You can't tell if the cold and heavy feeling in your chest is your heart, or the gun.