Fastidio

by irawrd

I'm living and hovering in the shadows, like a ghost, staring at my lifeless, motionless body. I feel like I'm screaming and reaching and clawing and clamoring for salvation, but no one can see or hear me. I am dead, and yet, not.

1. Prologue

It's been a century since I last saw them.

The Cullens.

I never blamed them for leaving me, for I; a mere pathetic human, never deserve them.

Instead I blamed me, myself and I. I blamed my life, my existence, my heartbeat, my blood. My blood. If it wasn't for my weak uncoordinated body, I wouldn't have had that paper cut, I wouldn't have had to shed a blood, Edward wouldn't have had to protect me from Jasper; whom wouldn't have had to attack me from blood lust. It's my entire fault after all.

Well..

I was wrong.

It wasn't my fault, for I am a human not a perfect creature, I have my flaws and they knew it. I never knew it then for I was so ignorant and a love sick puppy that Edward; the guy whom I loved, who happens to be a vampire, never really love me for he wouldn't leave me if he does. He simply loved the idea of me. Me being pure and innocent. He loved my blood, my blood that sings to him, provoking him. He is right about one thing though, that is me being his personal brand of heroine; for I was just an object of addiction a possession, an obsession.

I hate him..

No, scratch that..

I LOATHE HIM.

And I blame him for being who I am now. What I am now.

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A/N: So this is my first fic, as you can see.. Sorry if my grammar is crap and Sorry if I gave you a headache. English isn't my native language soo it's kinda difficult. Oh well constructive criticisms would work, help me improve yeah?