Rule 1. I shall not steal Erza's armor.

It's amazing that Happy managed to see the light of day again. The only flaw in his plan was that he spray painted words on to Erza's face in blue. It read "Happy Rulz".

Rule 2. I shall not trick Natsu into getting into the guild freezer.

Lucy was annoyed with Natsu and so she told him that Igneel was waiting for him in the guild freezer. He was gone for 3 days before anyone noticed. It was another week before anyone thought of looking for him.

Rule 3. I shall not ask Sting why he became the guild master

"Sting? Why did you become the master instead of Rogue? He is much stronger than you." Rufus had a black eye for three weeks.

Rule 4. I shall not complement Laxus on his pokerface

Cana had one or two drinks before she realised that Laxus had an amazingly good pokerface. She went up to Laxus pulled his cheeks and said exactly that. Cana was zapped in an instant.

CORRECTION: One or two HUNDRED BARRELS.

Rule 5. I shall not read fanfiction

Mira sat in the corner of the guild giggling with a strange device on her lap. She got many ideas for new couples and she had a brand new OTP. In case your're wondering it was Levy x Jellal.

As you probably figured out there was no bar hostess that day. It was the first day in years that Cana was sober.

Rule 6. I shall not discuss Master's height

Romeo almost died.

Rule 7. I shall not stalk anyone

Day 1: Dear Mama, I get this feeling I'm being watched.

Day 2: Dear Mama, I'm sure there's someone following me

Day 3: Mama help me! I feel so scared. Please!

Day 4: Dear Lucy's Mama, I am following Lucy purely for educational purposes. Love Lisanna.

Rule 8. I shall not introduce "Flappy Bird" to my guild

After Meredy discovered Flappy bird she showed it to Ultear, who showed it to Jellal who showed it to Erza, who showed it to the entire guild of Fairy Tail and we all know the Fairy Tail guild very well...They destroyed another building because of it.

Rule 9. I shall not dye all the clothes pink

This was terrible for all those who dumped their dirty clothes on Laki.

Rule 10. I shall not tell Natsu that he's wearing his scarf wrong

When Wendy came up to Natsu holding a flow-chart, a venn diagram and a chalk bored the guild became a class room with one terrible student.

A/N So just a crack fic Hope you like it! Shall I continue this?