Goren Withdrawal: A Case study in obsession.
Doctor In Charge: Prof. Anna Keene.
Aim: To produce a study in obsession, particularly in a patient addicted to Law & Order: Criminal Intent.
Results:
Day One:
Patient is particularly happy, as has been witness to an episode the previous night. Patient shows signs of normal behaviour, but has tendency to stare out of window for extended periods of time, smiling wistfully and draws small sketches of police officer badges and was heard humming theme song to L&O frequently. When asked about the show, patient exploded into step-by-step detail episode re-enactment, complete with mannerisms exhibited by the officers, mainly one Detective Goren.
Day Two:
Similar to day one, the subject's behaviour has not changed dramatically. However, subjects appears to be under stress, often appearing deep in thought. If disturbed during such moments, subject jumps and shouts 'It wasn't me, Goren! I swear!', looking around anxiously for the officer in question. This in itself is not unusual; daydreaming also produces similar results. But this is particularly relevant to the study.
Day Three:
Third day after subject has witnessed an episode of 'Criminal Intent'. Patient appears quite visibly under stress and often lapses into daydream state. When being spoken to, Patient often brings character references in that have no relevance to the conversation at hand. Patient has also been witnessed reading Sherlock Holmes novels to pass the time away. Whether this is a reference to Detective Goren's methods or not, this researcher cannot tell.
Day Four:
Subject is under considerable stress and was found this morning amid a pile of TV magazines, searching for articles and photos of the cast. When such an item was attempted to be removed, subject latched on and would not let go, even under pain that it would rip. Subject has amassed a large collection as such.
Day Five:
Disaster day. Patient spotted semi-grey haired janitor at institute and chased him up and down the halls screaming 'Goren! Goren! Aargh!', causing much distress. Patient was then caught and returned to quarters for observation. Nail-biting ensued, followed by several re-enactments of certain scenes from certain episodes.
Day Six:
Subject is under considerable stress and refuses to leave room until Criminal Intent is shown. Subject has surrounded herself with posters of the cast and has begun writing own episodes.
Day Seven:
Patient has had stress alleviated. An episode was shown to the patient, who was observed to be riveted to the screen for the better part of an hour. Afterward, the patient was interviewed and asked how she felt. Patient stated that she had 'never felt better' and that she didn't know what all the fuss was over.
Conclusion:
Patient suffers severe case of 'Goren Withdrawal Syndrome', which occurs in fans that have to wait a week or more in between episodes. Patient can make a full recovery if she starts watching Big Brother instead.