Lost Souls Chapter 1, a mai hime fanfic

I wasn't planning on this but I saw kouya's fanart on deviantART and just had to write it. I was working on Remember the Enemy, I swear! B-but pwetty picture... Well, I put a link to it on my profile. I didn't capture Shiho as well as I would have liked though, she still has a bit of growing up to do. Next update may take a while since I have a lot of other stuff planned. Gomen, I know people will be unhappy if I keep starting stuff but don't finish them right away.

Lost Souls - Chapter 1

by Mara S. S.

The day I stopped calling him onii-chan was also the day I met her.

I didn't go to class that day. I was quite proud of that fact in a weird kind of way. I ran through the empty school grounds, not caring if anyone saw me through the classrooms' windows. Let them talk. It meant nothing to me anymore.

I wanted to hit something - anything - so I wouldn't be the only one hurting. I wanted to die. I wanted him to hurt! I wanted to see him suffer. I wanted to see him crying.

I wanted to watch him standing over my coffin and blaming himself for my death. "If only I'd loved Shiho... If only I hadn't chosen Mai..." Oh yes. Then he'd remember all the times I'd been there for him. The time he got that injury and I was the only one who stayed by his side. He'd remember how I alone defended him when he was at his worst. He'd feel guilty for leaving me and he'd be scrambling to make it up to me, but by then I'd be dead. He'd realize it's really me that he loves. Me, me! Me and not Mai!

I gave him everything! I would have given him my life, I would have given him my... my first time. I tried, I tried, I tried so hard to make him see that he loves me. But then Mai came along and stole him away from me. When she promised she wouldn't! And he went along with it, the traitor. It should have been me!

How dare he expect me to be okay with it?! Friends?! Never! I hated him, and I hated Mai, and I hated myself, and I hated the world that allowed something this unfair to happen!

I was running, running, running. I was running through the garden and the flowers wilted away. I was running through the empty field and the grass turned into dust. I was running through the forest and the trees rose up to cover me. I was running, away from him, away from myself, away from this world, until... I ran into her.

"What the?! Get off me!"

I scrambled to get up. My vision was blurry, my eyes must have been red and puffed up. I wanted to keep running, running, and running, but something about her made me stop and catch my breath.

It was Nao that I bumped into. I'd seen her before, with the other HiMEs, but we've never really talked.

She stood up and brushed the dust away from the back of her skirt. "Oi. What do you think you're doing here?" She asked me, annoyance radiating from her entire body.

Still angry and miserable from what had happened earlier that day, I could only shrug.

She looked at me for a long moment. Then she sighed, the annoyance dissipated, and she assumed a more nonchalant air. "Here."

She threw a handkerchief at me and I hurried to catch it before it fell. I wiped my eyes. They felt raw, and I half expected to see I'd wiped away blood. But there was no such thing. It was just ordinary tears.

I looked up to see her with a smug smile. "That's better. You look ugly when you cry."

"He-Hey!" I protested indignantly. My thoughts veered away from him and instead turned towards the rude girl in front of me.

She laughed. "Hmm. Angry's better but... not much of an improvement." She said flippantly.

I scowled and ignored the insult. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in class?" I indicated the forest we were in, it was the one at the outskirts of the school.

She raised an eyebrow. "I should be asking you that. What were you running from anyway?"

I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "I wasn't running." I said defensively. It was none of her business.

"Whatever." She snorted. Then she turned and started walking away.

Panic suddenly gripped me as I realized I was all alone. I was rarely alone, I was usually with him, clinging on to him, the one who was once my prince. But now... I was alone, literally and figuratively.

"Where are you going?" I demanded, running after her. She was better than nothing.

I could see her glance back at me but she didn't slow her pace. Maybe it was my imagination, or an illusion of the surrounding trees, but it seemed as if she even moved faster.

I was breathing hard by the time I caught up to her. "Wait up! Hey! Where are you going?"

She slowed down. "Getting out of school, obviously."

I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to go back to school either. He would be there and I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to see him looking at Mai and holding Mai when it should have been me, me, me. So impulsively, I asked her, "Can I go with you?"

"Suit yourself." She answered, then she resumed her brisk pace. I followed along beside her, lost in the endless forest. But she seemed to know where she was going and sure enough, we quickly came to a stone wall. I began to hear the sounds of people talking and cars rushing by so I guessed we must be at the edge of the school grounds.

I watched as she approached a tree that grew right against the wall. She nimbly leaped onto a branch and shimmied over to the wall. "Well, are you coming?" She demanded impatiently.

I dubiously eyed the tree. "Can you help me up?"

She rolled her eyes. "You can do it yourself."

Anger stirred once more. It raged against the unfairness of it all. Just once, I wanted something to go right for me. He already broke my heart this morning! Didn't I deserve any sympathy?!

She was standing precariously on the wall now. "If you won't get up yourself, I'm just gonna leave you there." She warned me, and she seemed serious.

I gulped and took a deep breath. If I broke my neck it would all be his fault, and I wanted that didn't I? To have him feel guilty about my death so he would repent of his choosing Mai.

I jumped and felt the tips of my fingers brush against the rough branch. I clutched at it with both hands and found myself swinging dangerously above the ground. "A little help here?!" I screamed frantically.

She sighed in exasperation. "Let go of the branch with one hand and swing it over the branch so you'll have a better grip. Yes, like that. Now the other one. Good. Now pull yourself up."

I did as she instructed and I was shaking by the time I got safely up. I looked at her once more, hating her for making me do it myself.

She just looked back at me impatiently and waved me forward. With the ground far below I had no choice but to inch forward until I reached the wall. I awkwardly climbed down onto it.

I was sitting on the wall with my entire body trembling while she sat comfortably beside me. She watched me with an air of amusement, her legs swinging back and forth, kicking the helpless wall. I almost felt like crying again in the face of her apathy. The world seemed to care nothing for me that day.

People were walking by on the sidewalk and a couple of cars passed by. There was a dumpster right below us, that must have been why she chose that spot. She jumped down and I clumsily imitated her.

She laughed once I was standing on the sidewalk beside her. "Congratulations. You are now officially a delinquent student." She bowed mockingly. "So. How does freedom feel?"

I looked around. No onii... No Yuichi. No Yuichi to break my heart, no Mai to ruin my life. The pain and the anger I'd been feeling since that morning dulled into a mere ache in my chest.

"It feels..." I paused, trying to find words. "It feels wonderful..." Wonderful, and kinda scary. What have I gotten myself into now?

TBC