Fair Dinkum Mate

Summary:

"But dude, you're not even part of Europe."

Australia is competing in Eurovision. Canada and America are confused.

Notes:

So this is a very late (and short) one-shot I wrote whilst watching Eurovision 2016. I thought Australia's singer was particularly good, although others were fantastic as well. It inspired me to write this piece of junk. Plus, Aus needs some more love. Hope you enjoy.

"But dude, you're not even part of Europe."

America's voice is utterly perplexed, and Canada resists the urge to groan. His brother had been hassling Australia for the last half hour. Apparently, he couldn't properly comprehend why Australia was participating in that bizarre Eurovision contest.

Honestly, Canada had been a little confused himself when he heard. The European countries were known to go a little loopy over their exclusive song competition. He hadn't known why Australia was subjecting himself to all of that madness voluntarily.

Out of curiosity, he had watched Eurovision once, and he swore, it was one of the weirdest things he'd ever watched. And he'd watched a lot of weird shit in his time.

From the strange costumes (that primarily consisted of latex) to the cheesy songs (which ranged from poppy tunes, ballads, and even some heavy metal) and the showy pyrotechnics, it was a befuddling mess. And the way the nations bickered over results, was ridiculous. He'd heard many of them complaining about their 'neighbours' not 'giving them enough points'. Points, by the way, were what determined the outcome and decided the winner. England and France particularly, were rather prickly about points.

He'd heard they hadn't won the contest in a while. That must have injured their egos.

America, being as self-absorbed as he was, hadn't really paid much attention to the competition until he'd heard England muttering grumpily about Australia taking part.

And of course, he'd come rushing to Canada, asking if Australia was part of Europe, and could he please lend him a map, because all of his only showed his own country.

So it was Canada's job to educate his clueless brother. No, Alfred, Australia is not part of Europe. If anything, he's part of Asia, and no, he doesn't know how Australia has bypassed the contest's regulations. He assumes the competition is popular in his country, and that he's been allowed because of that. And, Canada had thought to himself sardonically, because he likely paid a hefty amount of money to enter.

So here they were. America couldn't understand why Australia was subjecting himself to the craziness of Europe willingly. The North American brothers themselves were glad to give it a wide berth. Also, America was a little bit irritated with the other nation for harvesting so much attention to himself.

"I know that, mate." Australia was being remarkably patient with the insistent American. "But my citizens love it. They think it's a bloody ripper."

America blinked slowly. "Can you speak a language I understand?"

Canada sighed, and put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Ignore him, Aus. I'm glad you're participating."

"Really!?" Australia asked eagerly.

"Of course. It would be nice for a non-European to win."

"Beauty mate!"

"Bro, you're so much better than that." America clearly disagreed. "Eurovision is a fucking cesspool."

"Alfred." Canada breathed, appalled. Once more, he assured Australia. "Like I said, ignore him. He's just jealous you're getting the attention for once."

Australia looked a little dejected. "Maybe I should just pull out. The others aren't that impressed…"

"Don't you dare." Canada said in a scolding voice. "They just feel threatened because they know how talented your contestant is." Truthfully, Canada didn't know who was representing Australia, but he assumed they were good. Plus, Australia needed a little encouragement. "Once you're there, they'll forget all about it. Besides, I'll be disappointed if you withdraw."

"…What if they boo me?"

Holy freaking maple leaves. He wanted to kill Alfred.

"What if no one cheers?"

"I'll cheer." Canada promised.

America snorted. "At the television set."

Canada squeezed his brother's shoulder. Hard. Unfortunately, his brother didn't even wince. His muscles were a lot more defined then Canada's. Still, Canada was sure he was getting his point across. "As a matter of fact," Canada said in a lofty voice. "I might just come with you, Australia. I've always been curious about Eurovision."

"Lies." America whispered, so softly that only Canada could hear. "Lies and slander."

This fucking asshole-

"Up ya, mate!" Australia said, a grin stretching across his tanned skin.

Canada assumed that was some kind of praise. "We'll make a fun trip of it, eh?"

"Bloody oaf!"

America was right. Sometimes Australia spoke a language he scarcely understood.

"Hey!" America exclaimed, a pout crossing his handsome features. "What about me! I thought we were going to hang out, Mattie!"

He always wanted to spend time together when Canada made other plans. America was a jealous, possessive ass-

"You can come with us." Australia suggested, beaming like the sun his country was so known for.

America looked like he was sucking on a lemon for a moment, before his shoulders slumped in a small semblance of defeat. "I mean, I guess it wouldn't hurt for the hero to come…" He commented to himself. "I can protect you two from the crazy Euro scum."

Canada decided to overlook the insult to the entirety of Europe. Just this once. He swore, if it weren't for America's nukes, he would have been obliterated by now.

Or him. Since he was mistaken for America so often, it wouldn't be exceedingly surprising if that happened. He was the ultimate whipping boy.

"We'll be Team Australia." Canada chirped. "We can wave your flag, paint our faces blue…" Inwardly, he smirked as America shuddered. His brother hated wielding a flag that wasn't his own, even when it was just in support. America was just that arrogant. "Sing along…"

"Sounds like fun! We can have a barbecue, cook up some snags…"

"Put a shrimp on the barby!" America said, in a ridiculous attempt at an Australian accent.

Australia's smile tightened. "Nah, mate. Nah. We Aussie blokes and sheilas say prawns."

Notes:

I had to stop myself from putting more Aussie colloquialisms in this.(PLEASE) Review if you would like, but don't feel pressured. See ya.

PS: It is PRAWNS. Not Shrimp.