This is my second oneshot, longer and more complicated so i hope it's okay :/ Please kindly read & review! Thank you all who took time to review, it means a lot to me *bows*
Inspired by the movie Made Of Honour and lyrics are from The Script's Before the worst.
Before the worst, before too late, before too long.
"This is Lizzie, my fiancee. We met at the company dinner to welcome me to New York last month. Lizzie, Sebastian."
"Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you. Ciel is a lucky guy, you're very beautiful." Sebastian feigned happiness and offered his congratulations to Ciel. He then gave a friendly hug to Lizzie when all he wanted to do was to strangle her.
"I'm glad you like her Sebastian, I wanted you to be the first to know of our engagement." When Sebastian saw the gratitude and sparkle in Ciel's eyes, he felt like a million shards of glass were piercing his chest. "And you will be the first to know that we're flying back to New York end of this week to start with the wedding preparations".
Lizzie beamed at him and added, "Both of us would be really glad if you could come over too, especially since I know how much you mean to him". When Sebastian heard that, he wanted to die. How much do I mean to Ciel? "Of course." He would play the part of best friend to the very end; anything to make them happy.
When his fiancee finally left, Ciel dropped the biggest bomb. "In case you missed it during dinner just now, I want to let you understand that when I leave for New York this weekend, I'm never coming back... It makes sense since her family's there and Funtom is going to expand overseas." He spoke softly but his words stunned Sebastian senseless. It must have showed on his face because then Ciel hugged him and patted his back in an attempt to cheer him up. "I'll miss you but it's going to be alright." No it won't be, i'd have lost you.
And so that was how Sebastian found himself on a flight to New York to lose the most important person in his life to another woman. To her credit, Lizzie was pretty likeable, being caring towards people and putting optimistic perspectives on matters. It's just that Ciel would definitely look better standing beside him than her, he thought selfishly.
The Phantomives had very kindly taken him in as a sort of adopted son when his father, their butler, died in an accident. Thus, he and Ciel had grown up extremely close to each other. Their relationship was however, more than brotherly, more than friendly and it was only during that dinner with Lizzie that he finally realised painfully, that he had unconsciously been in love with Ciel all these years. It always takes a loss to wake you up from taking people for granted.
Upon reaching the airport, the chaffeur picked him up and drove him to the Phantomhive's penthouse. He took the private lift upstairs and was directed to visit Ciel's study. Sebastian instinctively reached for the door handle without knocking; he never had to because Ciel's door was always open for him. Click. The two figures inside jumped apart. One blushing bride-to-be and a stuttering Ciel. "Sorry I should've knocked." He closed the door hastily and strode away, wanting desperately to forget what he had just seen but it was too traumatic: Ciel's arms around Lizzie's waist while she tangled her fingers in his hair, kissing frantically like there was no tomorrow.
A booming thunder exploded in Sebastian's ears and shocked him awake; he snuggled further into the covers before rolling out of bed with a strangled sigh. For the past few weeks, he had been traipsing around town with the engaged couple, helping them with decisions for the engagement party and wedding till he was too mentally and physically drained to notice Ciel's intense gaze at him. Too tired to notice Lizzie's embarrassment which she had tried to conceal with her smiles. Ciel never liked roses; he was allergic to spicy food; he doesn't like coconut in his desserts. But he had to push himself out of bed this morning in spite of all lethargy because he was accompanying them to their bridal fittings. The idea of dressing Ciel up brightened his mood considerably and he put more energy into brushing teeth.
Two hours later, Sebastian found himself pacing back and forth anxiously in front of the dark, burgundy curtains that hid Ciel's dressing area from view. He had suggested a suit in the darkest midnight blue to match Lizzie's ice-blue gown, with matching onyx cufflinks. It had a white V-necked dress shirt underneath which he imagined would give a glimpse of Ciel's sexy collarbone and his lean chest. Sebastian barely heard the curtains being drawn when Ciel finally appeared and beckoned him inside.
How do I look? No words had been said but he knew it when Ciel cleared his throat uncomfortably. The sight before him was stunning and Sebastian told him so, leaving out how it would be in his fantasies tonight.
An arched eyebrow and the rarest of shy smiles: Really?
"As always," replied Sebastian and suddenly, he was acting on raw impulse.
Heart palpitating wildly, furiously pumping adrenaline in his veins, body over mind.
He closed the distance between them till he was close enough to see green and gold flecks in Ciel's aquamarine eyes. Then ever so softly, he pressed his lips to Ciel's before pulling back. Seeing no reaction, Sebastian kissed Ciel again with a little more force, his hands on Ciel's hips to pull him closer. His eyelids fluttered in surprise when Ciel held his shoulders and kissed him back and..."Ci-eeelll! Come and see quick, she's gorgeous!" Lizzie's friend, Paula, screamed from the bride's dressing area.
Ciel abruptly broke the kiss and walked away, never looking back.
It was already past midnight, but Sebastian still laid on his bed and sighed heavily, unable to sleep. His mind kept wandering back to memories of his kiss with Ciel in the morning, which had thrown him into a turmoil and left a dull weight on his heart. When at last the impulse grew too strong, he jumped out of bed and searched the house till he saw light seeping under the door of Ciel's study room. He had learnt to knock after that incident. "Ciel? Can I come in? We need to talk about that kiss".
"No. That was nothing." Ciel flatly refused from within.
"Please, Ciel...don't marry her... Don't marry her, just stay with me..." Sebastian pleaded softly, his fingers fisted against the door.
"Why now, Sebastian? After all this time?"
"I'm sorry I only just realised I love you, Ciel..."
There was a pause before Ciel replied, and hidden by the door, he was struggling to stop his voice from quivering.
"No, you don't. You've always flitted from one person to another so how do you know what's love? You're just saying it because you're afraid to lose me. I need someone I can trust, someone who would love me truly."
Ciel sighed and said resolutely, "I'm marrying Lizzie, good night Sebastian."
He waited for the sound of Sebastian's retreating footsteps before he slumped to the ground with his head balanced on his knees and started crying.
With not much to loose but so much to gain
Are you hearing me?
'Cause I don't wanna miss, set you adrift on memory bliss.
The light tinkling of a champagne glass amidst the noise of plates being cleared drew the guests' attention away from their chatter and to the speaker. "And now, the best friend of the bride and groom will give a speech."
Quelling his nerves, Sebastian stepped tentatively under the spotlights and began.
"Firstly, congratulations to Ciel and Lizzie on your marriage. Although lately I've been thinking, if only I could make Ciel give up this marriage, make him run away with me. You see, all these years through happines, sadness and suffering, we've always been together and he's always been there for me, knows me the best. I thought that things would stay that way forever and I was wrong; that was me taking him for granted every time and I'm sorry, Ciel."
"Sorry to the audience also, for this long speech. Too many things I need to confess, terrible friend." Sebastian mock-admonished himself and grinned weakly as the guests chuckled.
"As I was saying, there are many other confessions to make," he continued, "but the most important thing I want you to know, Ciel, is that I love you. These words have been buried too deeply in my heart and I have been deluding myself, but I love you, Ciel, and will always do. Not just because I'm afraid of losing you, but that I want to spend the rest of my life with you because there wouldn't be anyone else as right for me.
Sebastian couldn't bring himself to look at Ciel; he wouldn't be able to force a smile.
"Unfortunately Ciel is marrying Lizzie today, but I will be happy for him, because he has found someone he can trust and who loves him. So congratulations again to you guys and I wish you happiness from my heart."
With the last ounce of strength in his unsteady legs, he walked out of the ballroom and out of the hotel into the darkness of the night.
Ciel stood rooted to the spot shaking his head vigorously, grappling with the worst dilemma of his life. He was torn and tears were threatening to spill.
"I am not leaving you, I can't-"
"Yes you can, Ciel, I'll be fine-"
"No."
Lizzie sighed saying, "Tell you what. If you can guess which fist has my earring, you'll go. Wrong fist, and you'll stay" and held out her two fists to him. He wasn't sure what he wanted before, but now that a chance was presented to him, his choice was clear. Reaching out gingerly, Ciel hesitated before lightly tapping her right fist.
It fell open to reveal a diamond encrusted earring.
He was elated knowing he had won, and yet felt ashamed for wanting Lizzie to make good her promise; he caved in and cried.
She could see the conflicted emotions in his pained expression and nodded her permission for him to go. Ciel pulled her in for a last kiss and embrace- "Thank you, so much"- before he gave her a small smile and sprinted away.
When Ciel had left, Lizzie looked down and toyed with the pair of earrings in her fingers before fixing both of them back onto her ears.
Sebastian was in his guestroom at the penthouse packing his bags for the earliest flight out of New York when he heard the knob turn.
Ciel was leaning on the door frame nonchalantly as if he did that every day.
"Hey." He said coolly and Sebastian coughed dryly in response.
"You really are the worst friend, you know that? First ruining my wedding by making such a confession and then trying to run away quietly. What happened to your wanting to be the best friend all the way?"
"That was me doing myself one last favour", Sebastian muttered. He straightened up and looked Ciel in the eyes. "I don't regret it, by the way, I'm glad I did it."
"Yeah me too", Ciel murmured as he moved to hug Sebastian tightly and buried his nose in Sebastian's lapels, inhaling his cologne.
Caught off-guard, Sebastian froze before wrapping his arms as tightly around Ciel and laughed gleefully to himself, the way lottery winners do. Tilting his head downwards, he sealed his lips with Ciel's in a searing kiss, which led to another and another, both of them laughing and grinning into their kisses. Tumbling onto the bed, they finally pulled apart for air and laid next to each other, fingers entwined.
Ciel shifted closer to Sebastian and asked, "So where are we flying off to?"
"Anywhere as long as it's with you", Sebastian mumbled as he rolled atop Ciel and picked up from where his lips left off.
Heaven's gate is so near,
Come walk with me through
Just like we used to, just like we used to.