Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games

Author's Note: Greetings! So here it is the first of three sequels, it's a doozy and as much as I loved writing the 69th this was a lot more fun…Don't forget that pretty little window at the bottom! And like the 69th I do this chapter by chapter, so some will be super short and some will be monster chapters. Enjoy!

NOTE ON REVIEWS: like I said in the 69th the "write more" or "write faster" is a complete turn off….wanna get me revved up? Tell me what you like! Nothing gets me going like people telling me what they think of certain things happening. Signed reviews are awesome! I can thank y'all in cyber-person! Never fear non-members I allow guests to review too!

Chapter One

A Victor's Burden

I stand at the window watching the scenery whip by at an unnatural pace. I have come to loath trains and this is only my second time on them.

The first was to set me in the hunger games, to watch as friends and acquaintances died from exposure, snake bite or each other.

The second is taking me home, without Farrow.

I had had a mild panic attack seeing the train. My heart raced and my legs gave out. I'm grateful that the cameras did not catch that, Seneca was fast enough to pick me up and carry me on. He hushed me and said I was okay, that we were going home. It was hard believing until now.

I hadn't said much since the night after 'the final word'. Mainly 'goodnight' and that was about it. I know I am worrying him, and Tracker and Perruse. I know I should care but I feel when I left the arena part of me that did care was left in that sandy arid wasteland. Along with friends that I barely knew and wished I knew better.

"Are you hungry Ariana?" Perruse asks, "of course you are! You hardly touched your breakfast before we left! Why don't you come and sit and eat with us?"

She is right, I should eat, even if I don't enjoy it. Even the fresh strawberries they managed to get just for me, because I liked them, because it was a gift Seneca sent me on my birthday.

Because I was in the arena when I turned fourteen.

I turn away from the blurring landscapes and go to the table. Seneca sits beside me and asks what I want. I don't know how to answer that, my mind isn't focused on the cakes, pastries and meats that are laid out. Tracker gets a hot chocolate for me, and I sip at it. They all looked worried I should say something.

"I'm fine" I say, "just…worn out I guess" then try and hide my solemn frown behind my mug.

"I would think so, the idea of treating you like the older tributes appalls me! I will have to talk to the game makers when I return" Perusse says

Seneca has sliced some strawberries onto a cream cheese laden piece of French bread. I manage to eat it but just barely. I feel awful, I must look a site. Since I came out of the games I hadn't slept much, Darwin was only able to knock me out by pulling up a torrential rainstorm on the view screen, and even then I only manage a couple hours.

"Let's get you to bed" my brother says, "we should be home tomorrow afternoon"

He scoops me up and Tracker brings my hot chocolate with us. Sen tucks me in and sits beside me, he looks to Tracker who nods and leaves us alone in my room.

"You are worrying me squirt" he says, "please Ari tell me what's wrong?"

I can't answer I just look at him saddened and weary.

He sighs and makes to get up but I grab his wrist. He winces, my grip had gotten stronger since I returned from the arena. I don't say anything but the look I give him gets him to sit back down. He sits on the bed and rubs my back until I drift off.

I get shaken several hours later, Tracker is holding me on the shoulder calling my name and I hear myself screaming. I finally calm down enough and start to cry.

"What happened?" Seneca looks at Tracker worry knitting his brow.

"Nightmares" Tracker says, "at least you start to scream, one victor actually stopped breathing, literally paralyzed her with fear and she almost died from lack of oxygen" he hushes me, "its okay Ariana, its just in your head"

"I want it out" I whimper I rub my eyes and I feel tears have streaked my face, "I want it all out of my head"

It seems to give Seneca an idea; he disappears, and returns with a notebook and pencils.

"Here" he puts them in front of me, "remember when you had that nightmare that I was reaped and you saw me die? What did we do then?"

I sniffle, my voice is heavy, "I drew it then we burnt the picture to ash"

"And you felt better after right?" Seneca looks at me hopeful, and he's right I had felt a little better back then I nod. "Well let's do that again, I am sure there is a fireplace or we can use a jet in the kitchen to incinerate the picture after"

I am barely listening, my hand grasps a pencil and I am drawing the snakes and their fangs and the bloated bodies, a gruesome blackened limb reaching out as if thru the paper to grasp me. I rip the sheet out and hand it to Seneca about ten minutes later. He looks at Perusse, "can I burn this?"

"Why ever for? It's remarkable pencil work!" Perusse says taking it, "don't destroy it!"

Tracker growls and sighs at the same time and takes it into the bathroom, he disables the smoke alarm takes out his lighter and lights the drawing putting it in the shower stall to turn to ask.

"Why did you do that?" Perusse rushes in and looks saddened by the destruction, "that was so wasteful; people would pay good money for those sketches!"

I feel slightly better, and I decide to draw some more, this time to keep. I start on a sketch of Farrow but I can feel my body wanting to sleep again and my pencil slips a bit.

Tracker takes the pencil and notebook and sets it aside, "you can get back to it later, have a rest sweetheart" he says calmly.

I nod and Seneca lies on top of the comforter and wraps me in his arms. I am out like a light.