It began with a spark, and has now become a blaze that President Snow will struggle to contain. The rebellion has started and there's no turning back.

{-.-}

On that day two days ago I walked off that train into the arms of my family. Not at first because when I first got off I was stunned and completely at a loss for words. I couldn't quite understand the amount of people, coupled with the overwhelming sights and smells of home. I felt as if I hadn't been away for weeks, but more like years. I'd also never felt so alien here. All of this was so different and strange I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry about it. But once I'd become a little calmer and more used to my surroundings I finally saw my family approaching through the crowds with beaming smiles on their faces. The first of them to hug me was my mother and my father who looked a little tired maybe.

My mother in particular suddenly looked a few years older. There were a few more little lines around her eyes and she looked youthful enough before all of this. I think she'd been having trouble sleeping. Then my father looks to be just the same, but again that tiredness is in his face too. It appeared to me that my parents have been greatly affected by the Games.

She started crying when she got to a few metres away as if I'd come home in a coffin. Maybe she was expecting that and maybe me coming home in this way was something that she couldn't quite grasp. I want to say that they were tears of joy but again, I couldn't tell. To be perfectly honest though, I started crying too. Dad had tears in his eyes but refused to cry. The most important thing about this moment to them was the fact that I was home; their little girl was home and that was all that mattered. They both held me so tightly I was afraid that I was suddenly going to get pulled away from them by Peacekeepers.

"You're home now," mom whispered in my ear, "You're safe."

Despite the roaring and joyful nature of the crowd around us and my homecoming in general, I suddenly felt very upset. I've missed her soothing voice and I've missed my father's stubbornness to show how much he cares. My feelings that day ranged from sorrow to pure joy and I could never pinpoint what emotion I felt exactly. Then after my parents finally managed to let me go, Cedar and Tanner greeted me separately.

Cedar held me the tightest out of anyone. He didn't smile, he looked kind of in shock and vaguely disturbed the whole time. The look in his face means something. Is he affected by what I did in the arena or is it something else that has caused him to look like this? What I can gather is that the brother in front of me has turned colder maybe, "Hey sis," he said quietly.

I didn't say anything back to him. My emotions were all jumbled and I wasn't sure whether I felt happy or sad. We stood there whilst he held me in place and I buried my head into his chest. He smelt of the forest and just slightly of burning paper. Home, I had to tell myself, you're home and you need to see this. No more death, no more fighting. You have a life ahead of you so look forward to it. He kissed my forehead briefly and then he let go, signalling that we've been too long.

Tanner and Cherry were next, and both hugged me at the same time. They both looks glowing, radiant almost with how coupley and how in love they are. They must have been so strong throughout the Games because they have such a close bond with each other. They can understand each other like that whereas the rest of my family tend to bottle up thing and anger is usually the only way for it to come out. It's overwhelming to think that I'm here at this point and I suddenly cave in and cry. I haven't ruined their wedding. I haven't put a black mark on their happy future. My survival has ensured that they'll be fine.

If I had died, I wonder whether it would have split them up. Tanner is the sort of person who doesn't deal with bad new lightly. He's hot-headed and at times gentle and caring. She calms him, I note, with her sweet voice and her genuinely kind nature. Cherry is more than enough for Tanner and for all of us. She gets on with everyone and that is something which is quite frankly impossible for most of us.

We all managed to get through the crowds quite easily when people recognise me. All were congratulatory and happy with easy smiles and occasional pats on the back which unnerves me more because it was all so surreal and completely foreign to me. My District is proud of me. I don't know what for and maybe I will never understand. My mother clutched my arm the whole time, and I lost the feeling in it at one stage.

We went home to our house which borderlines the worst part of town where crime is rife. It's a simple building, one floored with all of the rooms surrounding one main area that we use for cooking, eating and being as a family. And of course, it's made from wood which makes it particularly draughty in winter and lets in all of the bug you just don't want. However much I complain about our house it's a lot more comfortable than some families here in 7. But money doesn't matter now, I have too much.

I never dreamed of saying those words in all of my life. It's strange to suddenly have the world at your feet; where you can basically have such a great say in thing when before you were nothing. I suddenly count, and if I wasn't counted before then I'm not sure I want to be this time.

We ate lunch together that afternoon all round the too-small table and odd chairs. All beaming smiles and no mention of the Games whatsoever. The chatter is just local news about people who I've barely heard of or known about in my entire life here. It's just meant to ease my nerves and to fill what would be silence. I almost forget about the Games completely until Cedar suddenly starts to talk about things and the picture now becomes very different to me. It was like my eyes had been opened as we're not a solid family unit anymore, the Games are here too.

They taint everything now. There is no chance that I will ever escape them.

"Is your boyfriend not coming to say hello to us yet?"

It's the worst time for me to feel offended. We were all sat round the small table with our elbows basically knocking and I'm sandwiched between my mother and Tanner with Cedar opposite me. His mocking tone made me grip the knife in my hand harder and for a second I felt as if I was going to kill him. It was as if something snapped inside, as I don't like him acting possessive and nor do I appreciate it. I'm almost nineteen, he's twenty. He should act his age.

There's an awkward silence around the table and the scratching of plates and metal is the only thing that disturbs the silence. I glare at him and his brilliantly blue eyes look back into mine cold. I wonder whether this is all about me suddenly becoming interested in guys. It was sudden, but I never received any kind of attention here because I was that girl who works hard to make ends meet. I was the girl who tries to prove everyone wrong. If Cato does ever come to 7, then I know that Cedar will have a few words with him.

'You hurt my sister and I'll snap your neck'; or something along those lines I can bet.

"You don't know anything about us," I snarl, the urge to stab the knife into the table becomes great because I have to prove my point; I'm not wrong about anything here, "You do not know what it's like to go through the arena and to need support. Did you kill two people in cold blood? Did you relish in it like I did? No. You didn't."

I don't even want to see my family's reaction at my comments so I got up and left, dropping the knife on the table which caused Cherry to jump quite a bit. I left the house in a sprint so I would lose my family and so they would just leave me be. Without a lot of planning I went to the Justice building thinking that this would be a better place to go. No-one is used to this version of me quite yet. I'm not usually rude to my family, but to me what Cedar was saying was the greatest insults to me and Cato. Mocking seemed to infuriate me for some reason. Whilst at the Justice building I collected the key to my new house and just leave everyone that I've claimed to miss behind.

I then spend the rest of that day alone, and with my relatives apparently panicking an incredible amount. When they finally find me, I'm inside my new house just looking at all of the provided furniture and finery the Capitol showers me in. I tell them I don't want to go home and stay with them tonight. I want them to leave me alone.

But today, two days on I wake up by myself in my new house in Victor's Village, somewhere which is sparsely inhabited. There are about twelve houses here and only six are now occupied; including mine and it's surrounded by a private wooded area. We're almost barred off from the rest of the District in the worst way possible and I live too far from my parent's home although a part of me wills myself to not care about that. I'm an adult after all. I suddenly feel like a trophy of this District and I'm completely uncomfortable with the fact that there is such a difference in status here.

Mom stayed with me the previous day in the new house regardless of my attempts to be left truly alone. She said it was just to help to move stuff in and to make sure I settled fine but I'm not that stupid. I might live alone here but she knows that things are different with me; I'm different. The whole incident on my first day home was something which has really scared them. Usually something like mockery and sarcasm with Cedar would be proceeded by a horrible comment back or some sort of playful punch but at this time the smallest things are starting to set me off. I know I don't like it and I want it to change, but how?

But the worst thing about being home is that nightmares don't stop. I have no-one to console me anymore and no-one just to say 'you're fine'. I miss Cato, and I have a feeling that because we left each other where we did we had questions that still needed to be answered. Above that, I miss his presence. He comforts me.

In this new nightmare I have my family are hurt, tortured and mutilated and I'm forced to watch. It's my greatest fear which is being played upon and it does scare me because it does feel real. The cries of pain, the blood and everything is just too real. When I eventually wake up I scream because the horrors replaying in my mind are on constant loop. But I'm alone today, no-one is there to comfort me and to hold me close to them. I feel so isolated at home right now. But my mother will come round this morning to check if I'm alive, it has almost become her thing to do.

I asked them not to move in with me. I'm an adult and I need to be treated like one. I'm done with the babying and being treated a child. This is my stand. I will buy my parents a nicer house in the nicer part of town and Cedar can do as he wishes. Cherry and Tanner have secured a house ready for when they finally get married. Now it's my turn to fledge and to become my own person. According to my mother the marriage between my brother and his fiancé is in a month.

I get out of bed and take a cold shower to wake me up and to bring me into reality. I then get dressed into my old clothes I use for going out into the forest in; a plain faded red t-shirt, jeans (ratty, bedraggled and faded) and my checked jacket. The check pattern is made up of red, black and white which has gone a grey colour. I've even had to put patches of rag like fabric on the elbows because it's so worn out. We never bought clothes often as they weren't seen as a necessity and we would wear them until they fall apart. I suppose this will always be something I'll do regardless of how much money I now have because these are common District 7 values.

I go downstairs and Mom is already there making me some breakfast. I wonder how long she's been there since judging by the sunlight from outside it must be quite early. This must be the beginning of a pattern, I think. She's doing this and preparing breakfast so I don't have to near any sharp items. After the incident with the knife at the table a few days ago it's pretty clear that everyone is scared or quite wary of being around me. How frightening is it to think that she's scared of her own daughter.

"I made you some eggs and toast," she says, turning around to see me with a slightly pained smile on her face. It's a smile which obviously means she doesn't know how to be around me. Trying the soft approach just makes me more unsettled because it makes her seem as if she's grovelling to me.

I sit down at the too big table and she puts it in front of me with a knife and fork. I eat in silence whilst she watches me. I feel as if I'm being preyed upon by a hawk and I don't feel particularly comfortable about it. Once finished I go to wash the cutlery and she again goes to watch me. It's still quiet as I fill up the sink with boiling hot water and some kind of liquid which is just being used for washing up. Once the sink is slightly full I stop the tap and look at her because she isn't quite saying anything and it really is making things uncomfortable between us.

"Cedar wants to talk to you."

I narrow my eyes at her in disbelief. Talking to him will not be a simple process and she should realise this. I am stubborn; it's a trait both me and him share and that is where our downfall lies, "None of you understand how much his comments stung, do you? You don't care that he is mocking my choices."

She suddenly looks very hurt, and a momentary pang of guilt engulfs me before I manage to quell it. I shouldn't feel guilty in the slightest, "We care Willow, he cares about you. It was just a shock to us all when you both declared that you loved each other since you've never really shown an interest in anyone before."

At the last statement my cheeks burn. It is true, no-one ever showed an interest in my so I never showed an interest in anyone. I shared kisses with boys on New Year's Day because that was tradition, but other than that relationships have never been at the forefront of my mind. My worst fears about things not being believed are coming true, "But do you understand the reasoning for my feelings?"

"A little," she sighs, "But please do not shove us away. We all love you very much."

I narrow my eyes at her even more, scrutinizing her and feeling more and angrier by the second. Playing the love card was to be expected, and it makes me feel even guiltier. I deal with enough guilt from the people that I killed in the Games and the brass mockingjay pin that sits by my bed.

No more. I'm not being blamed for anything else.

"Correction: you loved the old me and not this thing standing in her place."

I hope my tone breaks her, it's bitter and dark enough I can see tears well in her eyes. My mother doesn't look scared, but she genuinely looks very hurt. Her eyes look to the ground in front of me before she looks up and right at me.

Guilt, guilt, guilt.

"Are you ok Willow? Are you really ok?" She asks very quietly. It can't even be described as a whisper.

I shake my head, I try and make myself calm for my reply but anger is here too, "No mom. No I'm not."

"Is there anything I can do for you?" I look to the floor. I feel so puny and helpless and perhaps she doesn't quite realise that she's doing this to me, "What about tomorrow, what do you want to do for your birthday?"

That is trivial. For me celebrating my birthday is the least of my concerns right now. This is not a time for jubilance and joy, and I don't think even I can celebrate my birthday. It was something that I looked forward to, something which really was the highlight of my year because the depressing Games were almost always over and I believed that I would never get reaped.

"Y'know what mom?" I suddenly bark, my frustration being taken out on my mother in a rather unfair way, "I don't care anymore."

I leave the house, slamming the door behind me because whatever she's saying isn't helping. I feel patronized and weak and right now I don't care whether the whole of the District is assembled to find me, I just need to be alone.

{-.-}

Short; I know. When I'm back I've got another scene to add onto this but I promised you something and here it is *sigh*. Oh god I feel like such a disappointment. Coupled with this I'm away for two weeks tops. But I'll be writing when away and hopefully the next time I'll update they'll be a load more added to this chapter.

Anyway, I'll see you soon. Promise.