Good Days are Hard to Come By

Girl talk. Fucking girl talk. In his office. On his favorite couch.

Dante groaned in annoyance, shoving his nose further into his magazine as he tried to block out the girl's conversation- which was conveniently about him and his eating habits.

He was sitting at his desk, his legs propped up in their usual position. It was, at first, seeming like a decently relaxing day. Warm weather for spring, sun was shining, he got to sleep in a little later than usual, no calls for work. He dug into left over pizza for breakfast, and even had a spare strawberry sundae flavored fruit bar in the freezer. Yes, everything seemed like one of the few times he had a good day.

Until Trish showed up. She all but blew the door down. Not because she was in a bad mood, not to talk to Dante, just to kick it on his couch and relax in his office. And nothing Dante had done had gotten rid of her. He even tried cooking specifically to burn it and smoke her out.

And in response she called Lady to put the fire out.

After chastising him, they took their place on his treasured couch, chatting about this and that, delving into their issues with Dante's way of life. Right in front of him. Knowing full well he was sitting right there. That he could hear every insult they nonchalantly shot "behind his back."

He groaned loudly as he tipped his head back and draped the magazine on his face, immediately regretting it as his two "favorite" devil arms decided to break their promise once more and speak up.

"Brother, Dante is sighing."

Jesus fuck…

"Sighing? But why would he sigh? He has wonderful company over!" Rudra retorted to his brother.

So help me…

"Dante's guests are speaking ill of him, though, so of course he would be upset." Agni explained. Despite being so observant of Dante's actions, he failed to notice Dante's teeth grinding due to his now agonizing levels of being annoyed.

I will go on a killing spree…

"Are you going to shut them up, brother, or shall I do it for your lazy ass?"

And now Vergil was entering the peanut gallery. Oooh, yes, now his beloved brother was trying to make him feel better. A killing spree really was sounding quite nice now. Hell, why don't we invite Patty while we're at it? Get the Fortuna kid here too! He knew full well how much he would adore seeing Dante in joyous misery right now.

I need that phone to ring. Please. For the love of strawberry sundaes, RING damn you!

Much to Dante's chagrin, the phone didn't ring. It didn't even move. No sound, no miracle, no release for the poor half demon. With a tremendous sigh, Dante finally brought his feet to the ground and stood. He needed a beer. No, he needed outright moonshine. He needed out. He hefted up his guitar case- he prepped Rebellion inside the moment Trish showed up, knowing full well his day was fucked unless he left- then reached for the doorknob.

"Oh, you going out?" Lady called all too happily. "Mind picking up a pizza for us? Lots of olives, if you could."

"You're paying, of course." Trish added in with a sickening giggle.

Dante's right eyebrow twitched dangerously, as though it was about to hop off his face and slap the huntress and demoness since Dante valued his manhood too much to do so himself. They seriously did not just ask him to get his most hated kind of pizza, then tell him he was paying. Oooh, hell no they didn't.

"We're out of coffee too."

And of course, Vergil could never resist toying with Dante. It was his favorite past time since getting his ass out of hell –Trish be damned for that- and he took great pride in always being around just in time to do so.

Oh, but of course his misery wasn't over. Of course not.

"Dante! It has been so long since we have been out! May we come?" Agni called out from his perch on the office wall.

"Yes, we would love to get out and see the sunlight again and-" Rudra was quieted when Dante crushed the doorknob as he threw the door open, signaling what will happen to the sword's head if he didn't respect his initial promise to remain quiet.

The two swords sealed their mouths quite quickly.

And Dante was off. A beer, a strawberry sundae, moonshine, an entire grocery store of strawberry flavored ice cream. Everything sounded wonderful as he slammed the door behind him.

############

Lady looked over toward the wall of the office, eyeing the two swords. "If he hates when they talk, why would he keep them right where they are guaranteed to comment on what everyone says?"

"According to Trish, they add much needed color to this place." Vergil grunted as he flipped through one of Dante's weapon magazines.

A quick glance toward Trish confirmed this as she hummed innocently. The demoness had a wonderful tendency to rearrange Dante's office without his consent, often leading to some rather humorous obscenities from the half demon. It wasn't hard for Lady to recall when Trish let Nevan out. The phone call she received from Dante made her about fall over from laughing so hard.

Something was bugging her a little. Dante didn't seem like his usual "I don't give fuck" self when he left. No, he looked upset, an emotion she rarely saw truly come out on his features. She looked down solemnly, wondering if perhaps their teasing had gone too far.

It was Trish's idea.

She made that excuse a little too easily. As much as it was true, it still didn't feel right.

And so did the intent stare she was receiving from Trish not feel right. Lady locked eyes with the demoness only to receive a cheeky grin in return, "And what are you thinking so hard about? Worried your boyfriend is a little hurt?"

Lady scoffed and turned her attention to a plank on the hard wood floor, eyeing it like it was about to attack her. She was all too thankful she was wearing her large sunglasses, which thankfully covered up her blush rather effectively. "What are you talking about, Trish? Considering the amount of lead I've pumped into his head, anyone would clearly see we don't click."

Her explanation obviously wasn't convincing, as even Vergil slipped and chuckled as he rifled through more of Dante's magazines. The hell was he doing, shopping for his brother or something?

"Suuure, honey. Now come on, I can see you want to chase after him. It's written all over your face."

"You do know that Vergil doesn't count as a witness, right?"

"Patty does though."

"She's not here-"

Lady stopped herself there. That was too spontaneous. Something was definitely wrong with that statement of Trish's. She looked to the door just as it burst open, the young blonde waving her right hand around in annoyance, "Geez, what's Dante's problem? Usually he's rather happy to see me, but he just huffed and walked by me. What a jerk!"

"Told you."

Once more Lady silently asked herself the same question she had asked for years. Why do I associate with these people?

Perhaps it was because she knew Dante would get himself killed if she wasn't around. Or it was because she just didn't have anything else to do. She didn't exactly have many friends, especially when it came to the devil hunting field. Maybe it was she just didn't have a choice.

Kind of like with Dante's current mood due to them. The huntress stood and stretched-they had been talking for quite a while- then hefted up the Kalina Ann. She patiently waited where she was, knowing full well that Trish was going to say something snarky. "Where you going, Lady?" Much to her surprise, Patty was the first to speak, "I just got here!"

"Got a brat I need to teach a lesson to."

"A lesson on love?" Trish finally cackled. She was waiting for Lady to slip up, and from the fact that Vergil hadn't said a word, she could tell that Trish took the words right out of his stoic mouth.

"Think whatever you like, I just don't like him wandering around in that kind of mood, especially since he gets his brother's sweet tooth when he's like this." A snort from the blue clad half demon brought a smile to her face as she continued for the door, carefully turning the knob; when Dante had crushed it, it had gained some rather sharp edges.

She peaked back in one last time and smiled to Patty, "I promise we'll go somewhere after I punish Dante."

"Bring back pictures!" Patty cheered happily, believing Lady to be serious about beating the poor half demon.

Oh shit.

"Oh, please do!" Trish was dying of laughter by this point. Damn demoness bitch….

With a huff, Lady slammed the door shut, leapt onto her motorcycle and cranked the throttle, smiling at the sound. "Alright… Let's find a sappy little brat…!"

##############

This little walk had helped. A lot. He still craved a strawberry sundae, hell a quadruple shot strawberry martini kind of sounded good. Maybe he'd tap his debt to the huntress a bit and raid the freezer aisle of the super market in town.

"Things always have to be complicated, don't they?" Dante sighed as he twirled Ebony around, flipping it into the air occasionally to keep himself entertained as he strolled. The town wasn't exactly big, so it seldom took long for him to walk to places. But with his habitual boredom, he had to keep himself busy while he walked or he would lose his mind, especially considering his mood was still bitter.

His guard wasn't down. Not by a longshot. He was just waiting for something else to happen. Surprise visit by Nero, Enzo bugging him about his random shit. Or even-

"Aw hell." He spun on his heel as he heard an all to familiar sound, receiving a boot to the face as Lady leapt off her motorcycle and drop kicked him, sending him to the ground. Memories of the punch he received from Beowulf seemed all too familiar as he slammed into the ground.

And then he was up again, "The fuck!? What God's Wheaties did I piss in today without realizing it!?"

Lady snickered then offered her hand, "Couldn't tell you, but that was for being a moody little brat."

Dante gave her a sour look as he batted her hand away, helping himself up and dusting himself off, "Besides, not like that really hurt all too much, right?" she teased as she turned and waltzed back to her bike. He could swear she was swinging her hips on purpose.

Bitch. Sexy, teasing bitch.

He followed her to her bike, leaning on the handle bars as they locked eyes, "So is that all you came to do?" He doubted it.

And was right, "Figured I could use a drink. You just ended up being between point A and B."

"Funny, that's right where I was heading. Didn't take you for a day drinker, babe."

"Don't get any funny ideas. Even I can take only so much of Trish and her tea-" Lady stopped herself there, but it was far too late.

Dante's lips curled into a wicked smirk, "Please, continue. Finish that sentence." He leaned ever further onto her bike, closing the distance between their faces, "What is it that Trish does?"

"Like it even matters." Lady huffed, revving her bike threateningly; he knew full well she had no qualms with running his ass over, but it wasn't like he couldn't recover. He found this to be quite a nice stress reliever, something he desperately needed right now.

"No, please, I want to know what she does to you. Is it really that bad?" Dante prodded, his smirk spreading ever further, daring her to pull the throttle.

"If you're asking for an ass kicking, you know I can deliver."

"Maybe I'm just asking for a ride to the bar. This sun isn't good for such fair skin as this."

Lady sighed. Much to Dante's surprise, she scooted forward, making room for him to sit. He stood straight and strolled to her side, "Much appreciated, little Lady."

"Shut up and get on before I leave you behind."

Oh, he was enjoying this. He leapt on behind her, leaving her no time to object as he snapped his arms around her, left below and right above her breasts, then rested his chin on her shoulder. He was definitely-

His head snapped back as a .9mm went into his skull. Should have seen that coming. Lady had wasted no time whipping out her pistol and busting a cap into him. Not the ass kicking he was expecting, but at least he wouldn't have to worry about bruised buns or shins.

"Now how am I going to walk into a bar with a bullet hole in my head?" He groaned as she slammed the throttle, speeding off down the street.

"Should have thought about that before you decided to be a pervert, asshole!"

Sexy, teasing, violent, hellcat bitch. What's not to love?

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