Quick author's note: Thought this might help bring the Christmas Spirit up!!

Another quick note or two: First, I don't own Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles, but hey if I did I'd be gloating about it. Also? The Twelve Days After Christmas is actually a song that our choir sang for a Christmas concert…yep. Kinda sad huh? Well, hope you enjoy!!!





The Twelve Days Of Christmas: Roughneck Style

Scene: The Roughnecks (Dizzy, Gossard, Rico, Jenkins, Brutto, Higgens, and Doc) standing in a television studio reading off cue cards for a commercial back home to add happiness to the holidays with a holiday song. But due to a small satellite problem, the entire cast is set aside for twenty minutes while they work with the satellite malfunction. They are left to sit for a few minutes, bored and extremely tired.

Background: Rico still crushes over Dizzy, but it has been a month since Diz and Rico broke up. Now Dizzy is going out with Gossard, and they are very happy. Higgins is his normal self and so is EVERYONE else. *smiles*

Dizzy: Sing me a song paperboy. Sing me a Christmas song…something that will pass this never-ending boringness of this day.

Higgins: No that's ok. I'm tone deaf.

Brutto: Please, don't make him sing us a song.

Jenkins: This should be interesting.

Rico: Well, he said no.

Higgins: Thank you Rico.

Rico: No problem Higgins. Hey Diz…why don't 'you' sing us a song?

Gossard glares at Rico.

Dizzy: "You know Rico? Why don't you…

Goss: Dizzy? Hi! Family audience here, babe.

Rico: Babe?!

Dizzy: You know Rico? I'll sing you a song.

Doc: Well now this should be interesting.

Jenkins: Now Dizzy…you really shouldn't…

Dizzy: Stay outta my head Carl.

Jenkins: Yes ma'am.

Dizzy singing: On the first day after Christmas, my true love and I had a fight. And so I chopped the pear tree down and burned it just for spite. And with a single cartridge, I shot that blasted partridge my true love…

Higgins: Your true love?

Dizzy: My true love gave to me.

Rico hiding his head: We got the picture Diz. You don't have to sing.

Dizzy: On the second day after Christmas, I put on the old rubber gloves.

Higgins laughed: And very gently rung the necks of the both the turtle doves…right?

Dizzy: Right!

Doc: Let me guess the third day after Christmas, you put the three french hens in a chicken coup?

Dizzy: Close! My mother caught the croup…I had to use the three french hens..

Doc: To make some chicken soup!!

Dizzy: Right on Doc!

Brutto: Now what did you do on the fourth day?

Dizzy laughed: I don't remember! But I remember the fifth day.

Rico: Aw, you can't just skip the fourth day.

Dizzy: Oh yes I can!

Rico: What's wrong with the four calling birds anyway?

Dizzy sang: Well the four calling birds were a big mistake for their language was obscene.

Goss sang along: And those five gold rings were completely fake Rico, and they turned her fingers green. (stops singing and then speaks) But that's ok, because I got her real golden rings.

Higgins: On the sixth day after Christmas…

Dizzy: The six laying geese wouldn't lay.

Brutto: So she gave the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A.

Dizzy: On the seventh day what a mess I found.

Gossard: All seven of the swimming swans had…flown?

Dizzy: Drown.

Gossard: Ah, right.

Dizzy: On the eighth day after Christmas, before you could suspect… I bundled up the eight maids a milking,

Brutto: Nine ladies dancing.

Gossard: Ten lords a leaping.

Higgins: Eleven pipers piping

Rico: And let me guess…the twelve drummers drumming?

Dizzy: Well, actually, I kept one of the drummers. *smirks at Goss* And sent the rest all back collect. I wrote my true love, we are through love, and I said in so many words. Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the….

Jenkins: Four calling birds

Higgins: Three french hens

Doc: Two turtle doves

(All but Rico) And a partridge in a pear tree.

Gossard: Man Rico…your presents sucked!