The Super-Messed Up Tale of the Sacred Bear Hut Ornament
Note: Requested by my friend Jeana, a Bear Hut devotee (is that
a good or a bad thing??) Anyways, www.expage.com/thebearhut is your site
for this odd madness. Enjoy!!
Once upon a time, in a land full of happy bears and strange flowers
and of course, Bear Hut souveneir shops, there lived a small ugly bear named
Gobby. Gobby was small and brown, with pinchy eyes, a smashed nose, and
a twisted, mutated mouth. But he was a happy disgustingly ugly bear, and this
is of course, what counts the most.
One day, a stranger with spikey brown hair and coffee-bean eyes
infiltrated this happy land of bears. Her name was Gleason Mips, and she
wore a shirt that said "Chicken Lover" and she carried a large silicon baseball bat.
And she too was happy, for when one enters the Bear Hut land, you can never
stop being happy until you are evicted for excessive happyness.
So Gleason Mips went on her happy way, unconcious to the fact that
she was trampling the strange Bear-Hutty flowers and the small Bear-Hutty
Bearbumble Bees on them. Then, the highest god in the heavens, Saint Bear,
saw this mass desctuction and said, "Something has to be done!! Snuffle."
For it is known that all bears snuffle.
So Saint Bear gathered up his winged carriage-bears and fired them,
for they were doing a bad job. Then he jumped off of his mighty Bear-Hutty cloud,
and fell like a rock to the earth below, landing with a thud. He stood up and
roared, and all of the other bears roared back, because they didn't know what
he was roaring about.
Saint Bear soon found Gleason Mips and banished her to the Eggman
Land, full of strange Humpty-Dumpty dolls and Nuclear Lambs that stare at you
until you scream, "Get it off me!! Get it off me!!!"
Saint Bear then realized that he had fallen on Gobby the ugly bear, and
was amused at Gobby's squashed-ness. He picked Gobby up, and tied a
string onto his head.
"You shall be the ever-sacred reminder that the Bear Hut is eternal!!"
he yelled, and threw Gobby out into the real world, into the house of Christine
Bips and Jeena Beroolli. Jeena screamed at the disgusting little bear and fled,
and Christine picked him up and hung him on their Christmas Tree. And so
ends the story of the Sacred Bear Ornament.
Note: Requested by my friend Jeana, a Bear Hut devotee (is that
a good or a bad thing??) Anyways, www.expage.com/thebearhut is your site
for this odd madness. Enjoy!!
Once upon a time, in a land full of happy bears and strange flowers
and of course, Bear Hut souveneir shops, there lived a small ugly bear named
Gobby. Gobby was small and brown, with pinchy eyes, a smashed nose, and
a twisted, mutated mouth. But he was a happy disgustingly ugly bear, and this
is of course, what counts the most.
One day, a stranger with spikey brown hair and coffee-bean eyes
infiltrated this happy land of bears. Her name was Gleason Mips, and she
wore a shirt that said "Chicken Lover" and she carried a large silicon baseball bat.
And she too was happy, for when one enters the Bear Hut land, you can never
stop being happy until you are evicted for excessive happyness.
So Gleason Mips went on her happy way, unconcious to the fact that
she was trampling the strange Bear-Hutty flowers and the small Bear-Hutty
Bearbumble Bees on them. Then, the highest god in the heavens, Saint Bear,
saw this mass desctuction and said, "Something has to be done!! Snuffle."
For it is known that all bears snuffle.
So Saint Bear gathered up his winged carriage-bears and fired them,
for they were doing a bad job. Then he jumped off of his mighty Bear-Hutty cloud,
and fell like a rock to the earth below, landing with a thud. He stood up and
roared, and all of the other bears roared back, because they didn't know what
he was roaring about.
Saint Bear soon found Gleason Mips and banished her to the Eggman
Land, full of strange Humpty-Dumpty dolls and Nuclear Lambs that stare at you
until you scream, "Get it off me!! Get it off me!!!"
Saint Bear then realized that he had fallen on Gobby the ugly bear, and
was amused at Gobby's squashed-ness. He picked Gobby up, and tied a
string onto his head.
"You shall be the ever-sacred reminder that the Bear Hut is eternal!!"
he yelled, and threw Gobby out into the real world, into the house of Christine
Bips and Jeena Beroolli. Jeena screamed at the disgusting little bear and fled,
and Christine picked him up and hung him on their Christmas Tree. And so
ends the story of the Sacred Bear Ornament.