A/N I'm dead bored at work, so I'm pretending that I'm doing something productive. (Did I mention I'm tired as hell too? I hate Mondays). This story takes place in Neverland right after Tinkerbell has joined the crew. They have yet to find Pan's camp. If enough of you wish for it, I will right another chapter or two...all you have to do is ask ;)
"Hood was never my choice," the brunette sneered quietly to her old fairy friend, who had been traveling with them for a few days.
Tink pursed her lips before adopting a frown, studying the former queen with a curious gaze. She adjusted herself upon the grass, leaning up on her hands towards the brunette who sat against a tree. Forgiveness was a hard thing, especially after several years, if not decades, of trying to find out why Regina had turned on her. However, now as she looked at the woman who used to be so high up, she saw a broken, torn girl who missed her son terribly. That was the reason she had shoved the brunette's heart back into her hands; there was a burning love there for her son, but as she saw that flicker, she also saw something more. A desire hidden beneath a well built mask that yearned to break free.
"So who do you choose?"
"He's long gone and you know that," Regina snapped, but it came out only as a low sigh, her brain deprived of a much needed rest. She hadn't been able to sleep well since the departure to Neverland and especially ever since they stepped foot on this island.
"You're lying to yourself, you know?"
Brown eyes narrowed viciously and this time her voice raised well enough for everyone around to hear.
"He's gone! Don't you think I haven't tried everything in the world to bring him back?"
She was now leaning forward, in the face of Tink's, her lips pulled up into a weak was a sense of someone else watching them and when she turned her head, brown eyes locked onto green from a little ways away, a small fire burning brightly in the night amongst the rest of the group. In that split second that their eyes held each other, Regina could feel a sense worry emanating from the blonde herself. Regina was in a troublesome, unbearing pain with Henry somewhere in this godforsaken forest, and as much as the brunette tried to ignore her intuition, she knew Emma felt it as well.
"That's not what I meant," she heard the fairy sighed as Regina slowly turned her attention back to the green-clad woman, "and you know it."
"Then what are you insinuating?"
"Stop being so selfish and let someone in for a change. Quit pushing others away, especially those who want to help you."
"And who might that be, dear?"
Tink's gaze turned to look at the four people surrounding the fire, Snow curled up against David's chest while Emma sat fairly close towards the pirate laughing, sharing a flask of rum.
"That one."
When Regina finally saw who the fairy was nodding at, her eyes widened in astonishment.
"Emma?" the brunette whispered only loud enough for the woman in front of her to hear, yet right on cue, the laughter from the blonde's throat died down to a minimum before she was glancing over again at the older woman. Brown eyes flickered over, her cheeks growing warm for just a second before she shook her head and hit the back of her head against the bark behind her. "You're mad, Tinkerbelle. I think the years without your wings have distorted your mind."
If her eyes weren't staring up at the canopy of trees above, she would have been met with a cruel glare from Tink. Yes, the two were on talking terms, but that didn't mean the fairy had forgiven her for her loss of wings.
"You've been avoiding it with ill-thoughts of your son."
"I haven't been avoiding anything, Tink. I just want my son back. He's all I have left."
She blinked away tears that were peeking over the edge.
"And you'll find him, but let her in. You might actually be surprised at what you have right in front of your eyes."
She couldn't think of anyone daring to care about her. The only people that ever did were only out to spite in her in the end. Henry may have been Emma's son as well, a fact she had finally accepted, but that was it. After they found him, the two women would go back into their usual bickering and snarling as if nothing ever happened. At least, that's what Regina told herself.
Without another word towards the subject, Regina closed her eyes and drifted off into a slumber filled with nightmares of never seeing Henry again. Or even worse. Finding him when it was too late.
"We'll need all the energy we can get," said a very familiar voice behind the former queen.
Regina was standing in the middle of the forest, alone, swirling at dark purple ball of smoke from hand to hand.
"I couldn't sleep," the brunette replied without turning to glance at the blonde who now stood by her side, watching curiously as the purple smoke danced. It was something she hadn't done since her early days of magic. It was a simple way of getting acquainted with the magical hold and feeling just as well as a simple, therapeutic attempt. Back then, it took much of her energy in order just to conjure up an instance of magic, but years of practice made this effortless.
Finally, she turned her head to meet a green gaze, eyes dark with little sleep just as hers probably was. Although there was a lack of energy within, the blonde's entire being still seemed to radiate a certain energy that Regina couldn't quite pin down. If she were to try, it would be like describing someone who had been beaten down to their lowest point in their life, but was striving to overcome that with power.
Regina knew what that felt like. That power had overtaken her, but unlike herself, this power that Emma possessed was for good intentions. To find their son. To save Henry from this godforsaken hell before it was too late.
"We'll find him, you know?"
"Is that why you've come to find me?" the brunette bitterly replied, "to try and fill me with hope? You need my magic. That's the only reason you're trying to keep me sane."
"You're far from sane, Regina," the small snicker had brown eyes narrowing wickedly, the ball of smoke dissipating into the air, "We all are." Regina scoffed. The blonde's boot dug into the dirt beneath it. "As much as you may try to believe it, I'm not your enemy anymore. We're both two broken women trying to get by in a fucked up world. well...worlds."
"I'm no longer the Evil Queen to you?"
"You never were."
Soft green eyes wandered over until they fell upon brown ones. Dark circles hung under her eyes like the shadow of this dark oblivion they were both trapped in. It pained Emma to no end to see a woman that was once so high now ten feet underneath. It was only a few days ago that Regina had been willing to stay behind, for she knew that they wouldn't have found Tinkerbell. She knew the fairy had been there the entire time and, needless to say, was sacrificing herself for the others in hopes they would find Henry.
Emma should have seen right through her. She should have seen the tears in the brunette's eyes as a cry for help when they two had halted during their search for the fairy, but she had walked away and left the woman there.
"She lost her wings because of me."
The brunette's voice was low, melancholy.
"Tinkerbell?"
"She tried to help me find happiness and I threw it in her face like the selfish coward I have always been."
The blonde's brow furrowed.
"Coward? Since when were you a coward?"
"I'm afraid of happiness, of letting someone into my heart," she let out a shaky breath and sat down upon a near log. Her limbs were weak. Tired. "Henry was my happiness…"
There was a warmth upon her shoulder and she looked up to find a pale hand resting there. Pink lips were curled in a slight, tired smile.
"We will find him. I promise you."
"And if we don't? What if it's too late? What if that dreadful Pan has turned my son into a soulless boy? Henry already has enough to hate me for, so it wouldn't be hard."
She had never admitted this fear to Emma before, let alone anyone but herself. There was the sound of shuffling before the sheriff sat upon the log with her. It oddly reminded her of months ago when they had shared a bench together, Regina accusing her of so much. Now they sat even closer to one another, something that should have bothered the brunette, but now she strangely welcome the company.
"Operation Henry has no room for failure."
A smile pulled at Regina's lips and she turned to look at the blonde. The endless optimism should have made her gag, the younger woman was truly the daughter of Snow, but what would she have done if she let her pessimistic mind take over? She would have done anything to see Emma suffer, but now they shared the same pain…
That mutual suffering was bringing them closer.
The dreadful tears came back to brown eyes as she tried to blink them away, but all she could think about was her son out there. She ached to feel his little fingers around her waist again, to feel his brunette hair beneath her fingers.
She sniffed. God forbid she gave any sign of crying.
Suddenly there was a warm hand covering hers and she looked over to find the blonde looking at her silently, worry swimming endlessly through green.
"It's okay."
There was a small squeeze to her hand, and soon enough the warmth was retreating. Without much of a thought, her own hand raced forward and grabbed Emma's with a silent beg not to go. She needed her here.
"Stop being so selfish and let someone in for a change. Stop pushing others away, especially those who want to help you."
She heard the fairy's words like a wave crashing into the shore. It caused her to shiver regardless of the smoldering heat the island basked in.
Regina needed someone. Emma had the pirate to laugh with. The very thought of the man throwing his constant sexual innuendos made her cringe and oddly enough seemed to arouse a certain anger that was uncalled for, but she kept it low. Snow had her prince. That left Regina with the fairy as company, but that was bittersweet.
Those times may have been the only when she had a true friend, but what had she done? She tore it down and ripped it apart at the seams, yanking hard and burning what was left. Tink would never forgive her for her loss of wings and Regina could understand that.
"Henry would want me to make sure you were happy," the blonde said into the darkness around them.
"At what cost?"
"Whatever the cost, so long as no one gets hurt."
That had been the downfall for the former queen. Every attempt at happiness had been through taking away everyone else's. She didn't know any other way to go.
"I will destroy your happiness if it is the last thing I do."
Her own words from a past so long ago seemed foreign. She still despised that pixie-haired woman, loathed the very presence of the fake prince, but she had pushed aside her differences to find her son. To find her and Emma's son.
Strangely enough, she found her mind wandering to thought about the woman sitting next to her, hands still in contact. Was she happy? She recalled the woman laughing loudly with the pirate, throwing back sips of rums as they sat around the fire. However, that laughter had instantly died when green eyes had mets the mayor's.
Why? Wouldn't Emma want to shove it in the brunette's face that she was happy? That she had a companion to share a few drinks with? Regina chuckled. She shared a drink with the blonde once before when it was meant to be their first as well as last.
It had been the first time they ever met when Regina thought Henry had ran away. Such a thing had panged at her heart far from relief's grasp. The very moment she had laid eyes upon her son a heavy weight had been lifted from her heart only to realize that the savior of her boy was his biological mother. Fate had a funny sense of humor.
"What's so funny?"
"Just remembering the first time I met you."
"Taking a trip down memory lane?"
The blonde raised an eyebrow and Regina replied with an eyeroll.
"Hardly a pleasant trip."
"I kind of miss it."
This time Regina turned her head completely and raised her own well-shaped eyebrow.
"Oh?"
"Those deadly glares that tried to swallow me whole," a pleasant laugh fell from her lips, "especially when I took a chainsaw to your apple tree."
She watched carefully as the older woman shivered.
"If you ever dare touch it again I will have your heart."
A hand twirled in the air as a warning that back then she didn't have magic as her disposal. The warning all but dissipated when Emma smirked.
"Whatever it takes to see that glare again."
"The ones where I yearned to send you down into the ground below with a single flick of my wrist?"
"More like onto the ground with your hands."
Green eyes quickly diverted elsewhere, but Regina was able catch a lusty glimmer that caused her body to warm. Quickly, the brunette pulled her hand away, unsure of whether she could control them and placed them into her lap.
"I don't understand what you're insinuating."
"Yes you do."
Emma was smirking cruelly and when she tilted her head back again she was met with that sinister glare Regina knew how to give so well. That "eat shit and die" glare.
"There it is," the blonde observed as her white teeth became visual.
"Go away, Miss Swan."
"Back to formality. Can't say I didn't miss it just a bit…"
White teeth bit down on a bottom lip as she wondered to herself if she was crossing a line with the former queen. One might have blamed it on the alcohol she had indulged in a few hours ago, but she knew that toxin was long gone now.
To Hell with it, Emma mused and before she could stop herself she was leaning forward. Regina saw it coming all too quickly to stop it and before she knew it, lips were crashing into hers with unexpected pressure so hard that their teeth hit.
The sudden heat took Regina over like a raging fire so fast that she almost toppled off onto the grass, but strong arms caught her. She should have pulled back, but instead her mind was thrown out into the sea. All caution, all care, was thrown out to the wind as slender fingers cupped the blonde's pale cheek, resting there for a second only to slide through golden locks and pulled her closer.
Their lips were moving in a heated sync with one another just as a wet tongue, far more velvety than expected, flicked against Regina's bottom lip. She should have denied, but how could she? Instead she responded with a low whimper that conveyed all of the awkward heating bickering between the two women.
They knew how to push each other's buttons. The arousal in the air from their glaring alone was enough to set the air ablaze. Regina tried to deny it, but she had been curious about the feeling of Emma's lips ever since the mine.
There was an unexpected shuffle of something passing through the woods and all at once the two women broke apart, the younger woman losing her balance and falling onto the grass with a thud. Eyes were wide, darting around for movement, and breaths were heavy. Whatever had passed through must have been an animal.
Pushing herself up with an awkward laugh, Emma ran a pale hand through her hair and bit her lip.
"I uh...I'm sorry."
Regina was staring at her with blown brown eyes, her chest still rising and falling as her heart threatened to beat out of her chest. She couldn't deny that she wanted more, but she couldn't deny the sudden shock.
"You're lying to yourself, you know?"
"I'm just uh," the blonde teetered back and forth on her boots, "I'm just going to uh, you know, head back to camp."
She spun around in her place, not hearing the brunette rising up from the fallen tree, and before she was able to take a step forward a voice cut through the air. Regina gulped down her fear, her choice made.
"Emma."
It came out as a hushed whispered as if it were a daunting task. The moment the blonde turn back around Regina was in her space, wrapping her arms around the woman's shoulders and pulling her back into the kiss they had failed to finish.
A/N reviews are highly welcomed