Disclaimer- I don't own anything that J.K. Rowling owns. I do own what I own...what do I own?
Author's note - O.K. I decided to try writing a parody. If you like it I will continue. If you hate it then ... well... I will probably stop, but may continue because this was fun to write. I am Radical Princess by the way. Anyway, if you read this then PLEASE review. Even if you hate it. I will start now because then you can actually read my story.
Harry Potter and the half a slice of cherry pie
Chapter 1- The half a slice of cherry pie
Harry Potter was sting in his room practicing magic under the covers. He knew he wasn't supposed to magic on the holidays and he'll probably get expelled, but for the point of this story he was practicing magic as loud as he could so that Uncle Vernon could hear him and come and open the door, therefore introducing Uncle Vernon to the story and establishing he was a fussy man. Phew, that was a long sentence. Uncle Vernon opened the door a few more times and then suddenly night turned into day and Harry was woken by someone knocking on his door. "Get up," came Aunt Petunias voice. Harry got up and walked downstairs to make breakfast, which was his daily job.
"Now Harry, Aunt Marge is coming for a visit today." Said Uncle Vernon so that Harry could blow her up further into the story so that he can run away and see Sirius as a black dog therefore beginning his time at Hogwarts. "Now, you must be on your best manners or I won't sign that sheet you want you want me to sign."
"What sheet" Asked Harry curiously.
"The sheet about that place where you will go and drink butter beer when you are invisible." Answered Uncle Vernon wisely.
"What's butter beer?" Harry questioned. "And how do you know about that sheet?"
"Butter beer is beer made of butter." Said Dudley as knocked Harry over on the way to kitchen, he did this so everyone would know he was mean to Harry.
"And you told me about the sheet, so don't act smart with me." Said Uncle Vernon threateningly. "Now go and make breakfast."
Harry was left feeling totally lost because he had forgotten to read the script this morning. Tut, tut, getting a bit slack aren't we?
The doorbell rang and Aunt Marge walked through the door. (yes, I meant that literally, she is invisible and can walk through things....ok, I will stop confusing you now, someone opened the door for her before she walked in, understand? She is solid and not invisible)
Aunt Marge sat on the table and her dog sat her feet. Her dog was called Rower, because he liked rowing boats. (OK, sorry, I am beginning to confuse you again. Very sorry, I just ate a lot of sugar and now I am confusing everyone. Dogs don't row boats, now on with the story)
Harry was sent to get the cherry pie from the fridge. He took it out and brought it too the table. "Heat it up you fool!" said Aunt Marge loudly. Harry returned to the kitchen and heated up the cherry pie before taking it to the table.
Aunt Petunia started cutting the pie into pieces. She put one slice on every plate, except she only gave Harry half a slice. Harry should have been grateful about getting any cherry pie at all. But he was very mad about not being a whole slice. The ungrateful person he is... "You gave me half a slice of cherry pie." Harry shouted at Aunt Petunia. "How could you....?"
"Of course I only gave you half a slice." Said Aunt Petunia. "The story is called Harry Potter and the half a slice of cherry pie. And it also helps people realise that we mistreat you."
"Oh..." Said Harry and sat down. "Are we in a story?"
"Of course we are." Said Aunt Marge. "If your parents hadn't been so dumb, then you would have known this..." suddenly Marge's body began to swell and she got blown up. She made a surprised face that looked like she wanted to throw the washing machine at Harry. For no reason of course because she doesn't know that Harry is a wizard and if she doesn't know that Harry is a wizard she doesn't know that it was Harry who blew her up. So she made a face like she wanted to throw the washing machine at Harry for reason but the reason that the expression on her face looked like she wanted to throw the washing machine at Harry. That's my opinion of course, you may think differently.
Harry decided that he was going to be expelled. He didn't think this when he was using magic on purpose, but using it by accident is so much worse that he knew he was going to be expelled. He ran up and grabbed his trunk (which was of course fully packed because he had foreseen this would happen with his supernatural powers) and ran down stairs and out of the door. The Dursleys were shouting to him to come back, because they just loved him SO much, didn't they?
Harry was alone. He was lonely and alone. Lonely he was, and so alone. He almost began wishing he was back with the Dursleys.
Harry was cold. He was freezing and cold. Freezing he was and so cold. Because he had forgotten to pack his jumper when he foresaw this would happen with his supernatural powers.
Harry heard something. He stood up.
-----------O.K. that's all for now. But there will be more, if you like it that is. All you have to do now is review. Please review.
Author's note - O.K. I decided to try writing a parody. If you like it I will continue. If you hate it then ... well... I will probably stop, but may continue because this was fun to write. I am Radical Princess by the way. Anyway, if you read this then PLEASE review. Even if you hate it. I will start now because then you can actually read my story.
Harry Potter and the half a slice of cherry pie
Chapter 1- The half a slice of cherry pie
Harry Potter was sting in his room practicing magic under the covers. He knew he wasn't supposed to magic on the holidays and he'll probably get expelled, but for the point of this story he was practicing magic as loud as he could so that Uncle Vernon could hear him and come and open the door, therefore introducing Uncle Vernon to the story and establishing he was a fussy man. Phew, that was a long sentence. Uncle Vernon opened the door a few more times and then suddenly night turned into day and Harry was woken by someone knocking on his door. "Get up," came Aunt Petunias voice. Harry got up and walked downstairs to make breakfast, which was his daily job.
"Now Harry, Aunt Marge is coming for a visit today." Said Uncle Vernon so that Harry could blow her up further into the story so that he can run away and see Sirius as a black dog therefore beginning his time at Hogwarts. "Now, you must be on your best manners or I won't sign that sheet you want you want me to sign."
"What sheet" Asked Harry curiously.
"The sheet about that place where you will go and drink butter beer when you are invisible." Answered Uncle Vernon wisely.
"What's butter beer?" Harry questioned. "And how do you know about that sheet?"
"Butter beer is beer made of butter." Said Dudley as knocked Harry over on the way to kitchen, he did this so everyone would know he was mean to Harry.
"And you told me about the sheet, so don't act smart with me." Said Uncle Vernon threateningly. "Now go and make breakfast."
Harry was left feeling totally lost because he had forgotten to read the script this morning. Tut, tut, getting a bit slack aren't we?
The doorbell rang and Aunt Marge walked through the door. (yes, I meant that literally, she is invisible and can walk through things....ok, I will stop confusing you now, someone opened the door for her before she walked in, understand? She is solid and not invisible)
Aunt Marge sat on the table and her dog sat her feet. Her dog was called Rower, because he liked rowing boats. (OK, sorry, I am beginning to confuse you again. Very sorry, I just ate a lot of sugar and now I am confusing everyone. Dogs don't row boats, now on with the story)
Harry was sent to get the cherry pie from the fridge. He took it out and brought it too the table. "Heat it up you fool!" said Aunt Marge loudly. Harry returned to the kitchen and heated up the cherry pie before taking it to the table.
Aunt Petunia started cutting the pie into pieces. She put one slice on every plate, except she only gave Harry half a slice. Harry should have been grateful about getting any cherry pie at all. But he was very mad about not being a whole slice. The ungrateful person he is... "You gave me half a slice of cherry pie." Harry shouted at Aunt Petunia. "How could you....?"
"Of course I only gave you half a slice." Said Aunt Petunia. "The story is called Harry Potter and the half a slice of cherry pie. And it also helps people realise that we mistreat you."
"Oh..." Said Harry and sat down. "Are we in a story?"
"Of course we are." Said Aunt Marge. "If your parents hadn't been so dumb, then you would have known this..." suddenly Marge's body began to swell and she got blown up. She made a surprised face that looked like she wanted to throw the washing machine at Harry. For no reason of course because she doesn't know that Harry is a wizard and if she doesn't know that Harry is a wizard she doesn't know that it was Harry who blew her up. So she made a face like she wanted to throw the washing machine at Harry for reason but the reason that the expression on her face looked like she wanted to throw the washing machine at Harry. That's my opinion of course, you may think differently.
Harry decided that he was going to be expelled. He didn't think this when he was using magic on purpose, but using it by accident is so much worse that he knew he was going to be expelled. He ran up and grabbed his trunk (which was of course fully packed because he had foreseen this would happen with his supernatural powers) and ran down stairs and out of the door. The Dursleys were shouting to him to come back, because they just loved him SO much, didn't they?
Harry was alone. He was lonely and alone. Lonely he was, and so alone. He almost began wishing he was back with the Dursleys.
Harry was cold. He was freezing and cold. Freezing he was and so cold. Because he had forgotten to pack his jumper when he foresaw this would happen with his supernatural powers.
Harry heard something. He stood up.
-----------O.K. that's all for now. But there will be more, if you like it that is. All you have to do now is review. Please review.