(I dream all my dreams in black and white)

-x-

// white like her glimmering teeth, her pale skin, and those stupid lies she strung along your heart //

-x-

"Your eyes are brown."

"...yeah, I know."

-x-

The first time you see her, she's got some kind of mischievous grin plastered on her sunscreen-covered face and sand tangled into her messy-blonde hair and she's got her deep-blue eyes focused on yours, and within minutes you're talking like you've been friends for forever. And she's so relaxed, so comfortable to be around, so down to earth that it doesn't take much for you to be friends - she doesn't mind that you don't talk much, she just rambles on about her family and her home town and any thought that pops through her mind. And it's sort of a weird relationship (friendship, she says firmly); you haven't known each other for long, but it just sort of...feels right. Like it was fate or something. And as cliché as that sounds...(it's even more cliché to point it out).

-x-

"Alicia likes you. Like, like likes you."

"Is there any chance you could be wrong about that?"

-x-

It's so easy to forget that you aren't actually dating - and thus, that you could openly be the object of someone's affection - and that she's with Cam, glorious, wonderful, romantic Cam who looks at her like the sun shines out of her ass. Sometimes, when you're at her house (or she's at yours) and you're talking and doing homework and just simply chillin', you could just pretend that it's normal and that it could be like this all the time. But of course, there are so many complications - Massie and her stupid rules, Cam and his overprotective personality, Alicia and all those stupid crushing girls who think they have a chance - and it's so like Claire to go around and do exactly what she's told and pretend everything is alright. So your friendship is secret friendship, and you respect that. (sort of)

"Cam's not speaking to me."

"Claire - "

"No, I get it. It's not something you want to talk about."

-x-

So you're not quite sure when that defined line that Claire is so uptight about just sort of blurs, sometimes even disappears, and she somehow finds your arms or grabs your hand - and it's absolutely unmentionable, a topic you wouldn't dare to bring up, because it would hurt the both of you. And you know that you both know it's wrong, because even though you haven't done anything that could be considered 'bad', it still feels like cheating. And it would pain you too much to explain to her that Cam's not speaking to her because he fell for that stupid lie about the Spanish Soccer Spell that Nina fed them all (although pretending to believe it so you don't have to talk to Alicia has it's advantages) - because otherwise she would run back to him and whatever you have would go right back to what you used to have. (it's not just a rebound, you tell yourself, it's love. But even love has it's limits)

-x-

"We can't see each other anymore. It's over...This - thing - we have, whatever it is...It's over."

"We can't even be friends?"

"We never were friends, Josh. I just needed...someone, for a little while. Now I'm okay again."

-x-

And it's so like Claire to just pretend you never happened, to pretend that she was just 'heartbroken' over Cam and that one kiss never meant anything - although she knows full well it means the world to you - and to leave you in her dust. And, as if that weren't enough, she rubs it in with quick kisses in the hallway, and fake fights that are so nauseating it almost hurts to watch. And you can't help but wonder, sometimes, if it were true, and she was lying to you the whole time. (but even after everything she's done to you, you still think that it was love)

-x-

And so it's Claire, beautiful, lovable, innocent, yet manipulative and lying Claire who makes up the white in all of your dreams.

//but in the spectrum of colors, there's still two more left//

-fin-