A/N: Hey guys, this is my first fanfic and I just wanted to share it with you. There will be multiple chapters. Please keep in mind that english is not my first language. If you see mistakes, which you will, and it bothers you just point them out and I will learn from it. The story is set after season 4 and everything is as it is in the series except that I replaced Raf with Leah. I just like her better. Oh and I don't know anything about Ice Hockey.
It had been a long summer of many hot calls. Due to the long heat strike people turned crazy in Toronto and had pulled guns at their loved ones, knifes at strangers or found themselves standing on the edge of a cliff desperate to find answers.
Team one made a lot of extra hours so Sam and Jules were mostly seeing each other during work time. Whenever they were off work they were asleep.
But now the weather was cooling down and so were the heads of the people of Toronto.
It was the first Monday after the summers break so most people were either in school or at work. So after morning work out and a long briefing to cover the busy past weeks Greg decided to go patrolling with the team and hopefully the day would stay nice and quiet.
Jules was sitting in the car with Greg, listening to the happy chatter of the rest of the team. Spike and Leah were discussing last night's game and since they didn't support the same team the heat went up quickly in car 2 and they were passing out insults to the others team. Jules looked over towards Greg and noticed he was driving with a peaceful smile on his face. She turned here focus back on the conversation. "Well I get that you're to stubborn to admit that the Canucks were way better than the Maple Leafs but at least you must agree with me that the referee was horrible. I mean the decisions he made were insane!" Spike shouted out, still upset that the Maple Leafs barely won from the Canucks, even though Spike thought that the Canucks were playing much better. "No, I'm with you on that one. I don't think he favoured anyone with his decisions" Leah answered. Both went on, counting up al the mistakes the referee had made until Ed cut in. "What, that's it? One misjudge by a referee and the Canucks and Maple Leafs are suddenly friends? Be a supporter, fight for your team, show character!" Ed laughed, clearly hoping for some more friendly banter from his teammates.
"Yes" added Jules, "that's right, Ed! Leah are you going to let Spike call you stubborn".
And before Jules could say even more the heat went straight up in car 2 and Greg, Jules and Ed burst out in laughter.
Ed looked over to his teammate on the passenger side. Sam was clearly not paying attention to the conversation. He already had noticed this morning that Sam was a bit off. He clearly hadn't been sleeping well and he could only hope it was the result of the long hours this summer and that a quiet day like this would do him good. But as he was listening to the happy chatter trough the comms, he couldn't help worrying about his younger teammate. It had been a long summer for all of them especially for Sam. It started with Jules getting hurt and Dr. Toth finding out about their relationship. The chief finally gave them the all clear to stay on the team, but it had definitely brought some stress on Sam. He knew Sam would never let Jules be the one to leave the team and since there were no openings on the other teams he contacted his father to see what his options were if he decided to join the military again. Honestly it was a relief for everyone, when they were cleared. Knowing Sam's history he couldn't shake the fear off of him what would have happened to Sam if he were directly confronted with his past. After they got cleared it became warmer and warmer in Toronto and one hot call after the other came in. Even though they had many successful outcomes, there were also to many incidents were they had to take the subject down by lethal force. And with Sam being Sierra one, that burden mostly came down on his shoulder. In the last case SIU gave him some trouble, not because they thought Sam made a mistake, or that Greg's scorpio wasn't right but because they wanted to be sure that it wasn't to much for Sam to handle. Maybe they were right; maybe some time off would do him good. He had to smirk a little at that thought. Convincing Sam to take some time off would be interesting. Probably just as difficult as it would be for Greg to convince him to take some time off. He suddenly had to think back to a case were Sam was being the TL, just so he could spread his wings a little bit. Ed thought he did really well and was proud how much he had learned these last years. When he went over the case with Greg at the end of the day, Greg looked a little worried. "Ed, I know you think he did well, and he did. He did great" Greg said very serious before his eyes lid up and a big grin crossed his face. "But all I can think is, dear god, there are two of them!" And his boss jumped up from his seat with a surprising flexibility and before he could come up with a smart comeback het added "Goose, you're buying". Back in present time Ed was smiling. Yes in some ways Sam looked like him.
Back at the Barn the team went to do some more work out before their shift came to an end. Sam had been feeling tired and couldn't wait for the day to come to an end. He hadn't slept much last night, in fact all week his sleep was disturbed by him waking up in cold sweat and shaking like crazy. Nightmares weren't uncommon for him; he had several of them per week. But this was different. The cold sweat and shivering was normal when he had a nightmare after a call where he had to take a life. Back in the military he had them every night and when he came back it was even worse. But these nightmares were completely different. He had no recollection of what his nightmares where all about and never before he woke up shaking like that. Shivering yes, but not shaking. The first night when he woke up shaking, Jules hadn't noticed and for that he was thankful. He didn't like to worry her. After that night he came up with an excuse to sleep over at his own place. Jules wasn't very happy about it but she didn't seem to think any of it.
Because he was to exhausted to stand on his feet Sam chose the bike as his work out. While punching in the heaviness of his work out, his hands started to tremble. First he looked in shock at his hands but he recomposed himself straight away by holding on the bars as tightly as he could so it wasn't noticeable. He looked around him but no one seemed to notice. Focussing back on his hands het started to ride the bike and thought about all possibilities. First in mind came Wordy. Wordy's hands were shaking and he had difficulty with focussing before he went on meds. But then again, with Wordy it didn't start overnight. Other possibilities came to his mind, brain tumor, damage to his brains due to one of the many concussions he had suffered over the last years, but probably it was just the lack of sleep. "Are you planning to overnight at the Barn" Sam was pulled back to reality and noticed Jules standing next to him with worry on her face. The others had already left the gym. "It's the first time in weeks that we are of on time, come let's get out of here" she said. Carefully Sam let go of the bike and he was happy that his hands were not trembling anymore. "So are you sleeping over tonight?" Jules asked. "Because you really look like you can use a good night of sleep and obviously you are not getting that at your place". Last few nights Sam used the excuse to sleep at his own place because he would sleep better there. But he knew he couldn't use that excuse anymore. And honestly he missed Jules, he didn't want to go home alone anymore. Maybe it would do him good to sleep next to her, maybe it would calm him down. To make sure she wouldn't worry he gave her a quick kiss on her cheek, a charming smile and said "sure, if you cook me a nice meal".
At Jules house Jules cooked him a home meal, which he had missed just as much as he had missed Jules this week, and they had a nice relaxing evening together.
In the middle of the night Sam woke up. It was 1:30 am so he had about 3 hours of sleep so far. He wasn't to shaky and to sweaty and was glad Jules was sound asleep. He quietly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. He washed his face and sat down on the edge of the bathtub waiting for the shakiness to subdue. But it didn't. Suddenly sweat broke out and his whole body started to tremble. He slid off the bathtub on the ground and panic washed over him as he lost control over his body. Images flashed by him, none of them recognizable. His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up. He crawled in the corner with his back against the wall, his arms around his knees fighting against the darkness. No, not fighting, he didn't want to fight against it and he led the darkness come over him.
A/N: Please let me know if you like the story (or not). I know the story line, just not exactly how I'm going to fill it up and how it will end. I will update as soon as next chapter is done and as soon as I have at least 1 review. If no one is reading it, then no need to update :) So basically I'm begging you, please post a review!