My Life Would Suck Without You
A Future Nick Jonas Love Story
Preface: Flashback
*Addie's Flashback*
I was 16 that summer, sitting on the Jonas' front porch step sitting and crying. It was a beautiful night in the middle of July and the cicadas were serenading their sweet summer song into the mild evening. The stars were twinkling down upon the earth with a beautiful crystalline glow to them. I had recalled falling down in front of Nick Jonas, my best friend for almost eight years now, feeling all embarrassed and flushed. These feelings were almost new to me. They made me feel scared and excited all at the same time.
I remembered we had been playing wiffle ball when I had fallen and twisted my right ankle; Joe, Kevin, Nick, and I on one team and Terry, Amanda, Emily my sister, and Mr. Jonas on the other. It was quite an invigorating feeling, running around on the lush, green grass trying to catch the ball. You never knew who was going to win. Nick had been very competitive as he always was and I was just about to grab hold of the ball when I had toppled; more or less gracefully to the ground. In that instant everyone from both sides of the yard came to see if I was alright.
"Addie, are you alright," they all said in concerned unison, everybody's voice all mixed into one single voice so that I couldn't tell who was who. That was with the exception of Nick, his voice was the most dominant among the eight of them not including me.
"Addeline," he said with his soft, sweet voice "are you okay?" I replied that I had just hurt my ankle and I would be fine. All of the sudden I felt this desire to run so I could be alone.
"Excuse me for a second," I said on the verge of tears. And that's what sent me running like a wailing banshee to the front steps. I needed to sort out the feelings I had inside of me. This couldn't be love could it, I thought to myself, crying my eyes out. It just wasn't supposed to feel this way.
Nick emerged from behind the house just as I was about to try to get up and get off of the porch. I found myself wiping away all the tears that had been rolling down my cheeks making a huge puddle below me.
"Addie," he said "Addie, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," I lied. I'd always been horrible at lying and stretching the truth for as long as I could remember. It just didn't work out for me. Just like my mother, I thought to myself.
Awe, come on. Nice try Addie but I know it was you that fell back there. You look like you're really hurting, don't you think that we should probably get you inside. You know call your parents or something like that?"
"Ok," I teased "you caught me red handed, let's go. Race ya to the door!"
"Um… Addie I don't think that's a good idea honey." His words were laced with worry and he had one of those genuine Nick kind of smiles on his face.
"Right, I guess not then, too bad," I said sarcastically letting him help me up ever so carefully off of the step I had been sitting on.
"Add," my cousin Terry called after us.
"Yeah Ter, I'm good. Thanks," I said as I glanced at Nick quickly to show her that we were alone.
"Oh… got ya," she said smiling at me all the while "I'll just, uh... well anyways gotta run. See ya!"
As Amanda came from around the corner I heard Terry whisper and drag her around the bend to give us some privacy.
*end of flashback*
Chapter 1: Arrival
_____Four year later_____
Addie: 20
Terry: 20
Amanda: 23
I lay, sprawled out amongst the purple pillows that were scattered all around my purple, paisley colored bed listening to some Jonas Brothers music in jeans and a Simple Plan t- shirt. Today was the day that Nick, Kevin, and Joe would be coming back from their world tour and I was wondering what to wear to go and meet them at the airport. It was a tie between my hot pink laced halter top with my dark skinny Levi jeans and my silver high heals. Or my dark blue American eagle top with my white washed denim mini skirt and my white sandals to match. What to choose,I thought, absent mindfully curling my hair around my index finger. Oh well Terry and Amanda would come over soon in a few seconds. Their moms were coming to drop them off at my house so we could all go to the California National Airport together to meet the Jonas family and welcome them back home. Nick and I had been friends since we were in diapers and Kevin and Joe were like my big brothers. I couldn't wait to see my best friends again. I was so psyched and excited that I had even baked a welcome home cake all by myself just for them. All of the sudden I heard the doorbell ring. That must be Terry and Amanda now, yay!
I opened the door to see Terry in a beautiful Terracotta- colored day dress that came up to just above her knee with gold earrings. Probably because of Kevin, I thought. I would probably dress up to see my fiancé too if it were me. Terry would be getting married to Kevin this summer so this was sort of a big thing for her. She hadn't seen him in so long and even though it was sort of hard for me to imagine her with the big white dress and the whole nine yards, it was what it was and I was extremely happy for her. She was so beautiful and she had deserved his love from the beginning, with every kiss in between. Amanda too was dressed up in a blue dress that brought out the color in her eyes for Joe. They were still dating, I was dateless, and this is how things had turned out.
"Well, don't you girls look so beautiful? I'm so happy to see the both of you!"
"Can't breathe," Terry said trying to loosen my grip around the both of them. "Add, jeeze what are you trying to do, kill us? Just kidding, " She smiled at me in her teasing way. It was of course her job to tease me even though we were the same age as each other. We had established this rule when we were eight as a little joke. Don't ask, it's a long story but anyways Terry and I were like two peas in a pod. We did everything together and I got along so well with her that you couldn't even tell that we were cousins sometimes. I mean sure we had our little squabbles now and then but who doesn't right?
"Just kidding," she said when she saw the panic stricken look on my face. I was a very gullible person, oh well (A.N. True that, true that.) It wasn't unusual for me to believe anything a person told me. "I'm happy to see you too, I missed you so much!"
"I know! I haven't seen you since the shower. We had so much fun didn't we? Oh you must be so excited to see him."
"Yes! Oh Add, I miss him so much. It's so nice to have Kevin finally come home! You must be so excited to see Nick, huh? If I remember correctly you two hit it off pretty well."
"Well," I said with a modest smile "yes I'm very excited but I don't want to come on too strong. I really want him to like me."
"Addie, come on please! He's been away for one year, he's bound to like you, let alone love you by now hon. He's had plenty of time to think about you."
"So what's up with you Addie, I've been having sleepover withdrawals for months now," Amanda said making a puppy dog face.
"Nothing much, I'm so excited that the boys are coming home! And that you're here of course. But, I haven't seen them for weeks now."
"I know! *takes a look at Addie's outfit* I think we need to get you into something more suitable for Nick, don't you think Terry?"
"Oh yes definitely! You can't go out looking like that for him now can you?"
"Yeah, I was waiting for you guys to say that," I said "but the question is what the hell do I wear?"
"Well you know anything goes now a days…"
"Nice job using that line from the Broadway show "Anything Goes" Ter," Amanda said. "It's okay I still love you."
"Ugh, anyways… and *pulls out the mini skirt and the pink halter top* this cute little number has 'I want to be Nick Jonas' girlfriend' written all over it. Plus you can really dress it up with some pink lip gloss and a silver necklace." Now why didn't I think of that, perfect, I thought.
"Brava! Brava! Bravissima! *starts clapping* I love you Terry! Genius, that's just genius, what a pro, don't you think Amanda!?" Amanda peeked from around the corner.
"Yeah, she's just that great. Ha, since when do you speak Italian?"
"I have no idea; it just came out of me. It's like basically like all I know!"
"You're such a dork Addie. You know that," she said smiling at me.
"Yes I know but at least I'm your dork."
"Thanks… I think."
"Oh you're welcome," I said "you know me I aim to satisfy, lol! Why don't we get started so we can go please?" I had to admit it, that I was excited I mean, especially to see Nick. I needed him more than he could know, I even loved him. Maybe this would be my chance to finally win his heart. I wanted him so badly that I couldn't ignore it and sometimes it scared me but I was 20, I was a big girl and I could handle it especially because I'd just gotten over my last boyfriend (,get this one) Milton (A.N. Ha! Who the hell names their kid Milton, what was I thinking? Oh well,lol) Harley. He'd left me for a more "beautiful" girl a few months ago, Scarlet the harlot (this was her nickname provided by me of course. A.N. Can anyone say Miley Cyrus?) She was such a slut; it was so ridiculous that I had had to pry him off of her. Nobody wanted a man like that to tie her down. It was just as well that he should be attracted to her, after all I had no time for someone to leave me after three months of what I thought was total happiness. Life shouldn't so cruel like that but sometimes you just had to take the lows and the highs and deal with it. And Nicholas Jerry Jonas was a very nice guy. I believed that I, of all people deserved that much from someone thank you very much. So did everyone else and I knew that they were right no matter how much I had protested that I didn't need a male counterpart to ease my heartache from my recent blow. I secretly was one of those girls who cried themselves to sleep over the matter even though they lied and said they didn't. Maybe, I thought to myself, I needed a man after midnight (in the words of ABBA.) After all, I was just as deserving as any other Joe (A.N ha -ha Joe,) Schmo on this planet; I was entitled to find love. Wasn't that any girl or guy's God forsaken right? Well in my book it was anyways, I didn't know about anyone else of course but, I believed it to be true. A simple easy concept, I thought, something that anyone mature, like me, could understand.
We finally got in my Bentley Azure (A.N. yeah right) after going through piles of shoes in my closet that I could wear on our outing. We came upon a pair of pink Jimmy Choo stilettos (A.N. ha, I wish, I bet I couldn't even walk in them) in the back of my closet. Mandy was nice enough to apply my makeup in the back seat, thanks to her Beauty Rush lip gloss from Victoria's Secret and the Sephora makeup kit she carries in her purse all the time.
"God, you carry your whole life story in this thing don't you? It fells like you put a bunch of frikin'rocks in it," I said as I held the gold metallic purse in my lap as she applied my eye liner.
"Oh, sorry about that," she said. "Yeah I know it's a little heavy."
Terry took the purse from my lap and said, "Let me see that for a second." I gave Amanda's purse to her. "Oh my god Manda," she said "lighten up on the load woman, you don't have rocks in here! You must have an elephant or something." We both laughed at Terry's sarcastic comment.
*jokingly* "Ha, ha! You're right I do," Amanda said "You know me so well Ter."
"Oh, I know I do," she said. "I stalk you while you sleep and pull information out of your head like an alien or if you prefer, Edward Cullen."
"You are officially a weirdo," I replied with a laugh as I applied the lipgloss carefully to my upper and lower lips.
"You do," Amanda said as she turned around to face Terry with a mock- terrified look on her face. I stopped applying my makeup and just had to burst out laughing.
* Between laughs* "Ha-ha- You should have seen the look on your face Mandy," I said while I flashed my signal to let people know I was pulling over. I pulled over to the right side of the road for a minute; doing my eye makeup in the car mirror ever so carefully while we talked amongst ourselves.
"So, how do I look," I asked from the back seat.
"Turn around," Terry replied. I pivoted myself from where I sat to face towards the front where Terry was sitting in the front seat. "Good job Addie," she said. "Have you been practicing? You look amazing!"
"Oh yes mommy," I replied sarcastically "thank you for your constructive criticism." We laughed some more and then suddenly amidst all of the laughter I said, "Are we there yet?" I felt like I was five but in truth I just couldn't wait any longer.
"Oh yeah I think the exit is over there isn't it? Turn here Addie," Amanda said pointing to exit 17 with her index finger.
"Thanks Hun," I said flashing my signal yet again. I turned onto the exit with ease as I was instructed to do. Before we knew it we were at the airport. I parked in the parking lot, eager to see the boys. We walked into the airport making sure to bring the sign saying: 'Welcome home Nick, Kevin, and Joe' on it. I smiled to myself as I remembered that I had crafted that sign all by myself in preparation of this very moment. We sat down on those very uncomfortable blue seats you usually find scattered around an airport. And finally after taking a nap, talking some more, and waiting for what seemed like hours and hours; I saw three boys walking out of the last terminal on my right. I woke up Amanda and Terry in anticipation of my excitement.
"Oh my God guys I think they're actually here," I said trying to keep my volume low so as not to attract any attention from passerby but still not hiding the smile on my face.
"Wha," Terry and Mandy asked groggily getting up from their seats. I must have looked like I was suffering from sleep deprivation because I suppressed a huge yawn.
"How long did we sleep for," Amanda asked.
"About four hours, I think. But the guys are here let's go see them."
"Kay," Terry replied."Kevy!"
"Ter," Amanda said, "I know you haven't seen your fiancé in a long time but jeeze! Talk about an earful of belted brain. It's like that Hannah Montana episode with Milo and Otis."
"And you still watch Hannah Montana why? Anyways he is my fiancé after all. I can't help being excited you know? Deal with it."
"Well either someone has Auntie flow or you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."
"Ha- ha, no." I just had to laugh at the both of them as we made our way across the terminal.
"Hey Addie bear, what's up," I heard a male voice suddenly say. I realized that he was picking me up of the ground. I smiled as I remembered his voice and the feeling of flying off the ground. It was something we did when we were much younger. He would pick me up and we would 5run around his backyard as I screamed and giggled with delight.
"Nicky?"
"Yeah, who else kid?" He set me down ever so lightly on the ground, turned me around to face him, and gave me a beautiful bouquet of red roses. "For you Madame."
"Aww Nicholas, thank you! You haven't changed one bit. I missed you so much!" I could feel tears trickling down my cheek as I welcomed him back home, back into my arms. I felt like the first verse of the song "Back in Baby's Arms" by Patsy Cline should have been playing in the background or something. It would have been perfect for this moment.
"I missed you too," he said as I kissed him on the cheek. It was a small kiss, nothing big but it would have to do for now. Like I said I never intended to come on too strong. Easy there girl, baby steps, I thought to myself. Even though he looks like Adonis (A.N. so wait, isn't that a sexy Greek God or something? Anyways,lol,) tonight, he just came home from Paris. Wouldn't want to bewilder him with my stupid emotions and ruin the night. *end of thought*
I looked up at him and he gave me one of those genuine Nick kind of smiles. One of those rare smiles which would make your heart melt if you ever saw it. I suppressed a very tiny giggle which I couldn't seem to hold in but other than that I was pretty chill about the whole thing which satisfied me in the very least. Amanda and Terry probably not so much but they would just have to deal with it. In my mind our relationship was still unfolding at the seams. Maybe it would happen, maybe it wouldn't, I was just letting God and perhaps fate___if there ever was such a thing___figure this one out. All I knew was that I believed in love, and I believed in a strong one too. None of these flimsy one night stands for me, they were non- existent, and a thing of the past not the present. In fact I don't think they had ever existed on my part at least. Maybe for Milton they were a regular thing, but of course one never knew with him, (and plus I wasn't thinking of Milton at the moment. He was a thing of the past as well.) I could hear Terry and Kevin kissing and talking as I looked over Nick's shoulder. Terry gave me the thumbs up sign which I was quite grateful that Nick couldn't see. He was holding both of Terry's hands. The engagement ring on the ring finger of her right hand was sparkling with grandeur. I had to confess that even though I was very happy for her that I had been a little jealous up to this point. But only because I wanted this for Nick and myself if we ever got up to that stage in the game. We were only friends right now but I wanted so much more for us. I wanted to wake up with him, our bodies entwining. I wanted the ring and the feeling of complete and total happiness with him for a lifetime.
"So, how was Paris," I asked him. "You've learned some French I see, or is that all the French you know? I teased him.
"Ah, a little bit of this, a little bit of that, you know it's all language to me."
"I've always wanted to learn French; it's quite a beautiful language you know?"
"Yes I know, just not as beautiful as you." A smile spread across my face as I processed what he just had said to me. I couldn't figure out if he was just joking around with me but they sounded like the most beautiful words ever spoken by a man that I had ever heard.
"Hold on, are you serious," I asked with a touch of questioning in my eyes.
"Of course I'm serious," he laughed knowingly. "Why wouldn't I think you're beautiful? You're smart and funny and you smell so good, you're so gorgeous Addie! You didn't know that?" So they were the most beautiful words I had ever heard.
"No, but you could have told me silly," I teased. "Hmmm let me guess, was it in the fine print?"
"Ha-ha, no but it was on my face all along," he told me with adoration coloring the features and the contours of his face. "I'm sorry; I should have known that it wouldn't come so easy to you."
No, no don't apologize. This is the best news I've ever heard in my life." I was surprised at the truth of my words but I knew that they were true. I believed that they were nothing but the truth. I realize that I wanted to believe these words for all of my life. I wanted to believe it tomorrow and the next day too and even the next day after that. This would be the beginning of our lives together. It really was the first day of our lives together and I was just beginning to see that. I realized that this feeling was all so new to me, but still so wonderful that I couldn't believe it was happening, to Terry and Amanda sure… but to me.
"Good, I'm glad you enjoy the feeling, I do too." My God, was that a wink he just gave me? Jeeze he's unbelievably cute when he does that, I'll have to make a mental note not to bump into a tree (, oranything for that matter,) when he does that. I smiled, not sure whether I should feel giddy or ecstatic. Maybe you should feel both, I silently said to myself.
"Hey kids, what's up," I heard someone finally say from behind me, breaking the silence. Nick took his arms away from my waist.
"Let's not give him the satisfaction of knowing," he whispered in my ear jokingly.
"Why are we keeping it so quiet, don't want to get teased Mr. Jonas?"
"Hey, ha-ha what's up Joe?" His giggle made me laugh a little as I went over to hug Joe.
"What are you two people doing? Anything mischievous that I should know about?"
"Of course not Joseph," I answered. "Why ever would we be getting into something that you shouldn't know about?" and then I laughed, I laughed so hard that I think I might have given the whole thing away except the fact that Joe didn't actually know what I was laughing about.
"What are two crazy people like you doing, huh Addie?" He asked again,as he picked me up, putting me over his shoulder.
"Ah," I screamed "Nicky, help! He's got me." Nick pointed and laughed at us like he was a little kid at the circus.
"I'll save you," he said in a mock- super hero voice. He ran to my side like super man would do to Lois Lane in this situation like in a comic book. "Nobody does that to my girl but me! And you sir are in my way. " He grabbed me from Joe's arms and sprinted towards the exit.
"Oh my hero! Bye Joe," I called as we ran away from sight. Thankfully nobody had paid any attention to us or it seemed to be that way, maybe I had been too engrossed in the boys' fun to actually notice anybody watching.
"Now, what should we do now that I've gotten you away from Joe's evil clutches," he asked with a smirk on his face.
"Hmm, it all depends on what you had in mind tonight Clark Kent. You're awfully clever, I'm putting it in your hands." He gave me his crooked smile.
" Huh, ok Lois, I have an idea."
"Shoot."
"No, wait," he said suddenly, "I'm still thinking of bacK-ups."
"Maybe we could whisk ourselves away to a hotel room," I suggested, a teasing smile playing on the contours of my face "wouldn't that be fun?"
"Yeah and then we could go smoke a couple of cigarettes and I could draw a picture of you naked," the same kind of smile was playing across his lips instantly. I suddenly just realized how many people could have heard that but I didn't bother to care.
"Oh, well if that's what you had in mind then… hey, that's not from Superman it's from the titanic. Get your movies right dude," I said with a look of mock- scorn on my face.
"Ha-ha, drats you're right! How ever could I be so stupid?" To my surprise he smiled even wider than was expected of him. "However, I had a different suggestion other than yours."
"K. So, let's blow this popsicle stand alright?"
"Ha-ha, ok Addie." He drove us to the local park nearby (, not without calling Kevin of course, but I stilkl felt like we were both escaping to some exotic land far away.) We paralell-parked in the spot next to a perywinkle colored hydrangea bush. It was neatly planted next to a baby sycamore tree, still growing from what I could tell. All of the sudden I remembered the beauty of this place from our childhood like it was yesterday. "You remember this place," he asked as he took my hand subtly placing it in his.
"Yeah, I remember," I replied blushing again. "Wow I didn't realize this place would still be so beautiful," I said looking at the brook that bubbled as it ran under the bridge we were walking across.
He looked at me in wonder as I looked down at the brook with a smile on my face. "What are you thinking about Ad," he asked me thoughtfully as I twirled my hair around my finger. He knew me so well, I thought. It obviously meant that I was thinking about something, or in this case someone.
"Just you," I replied shyly "and... me." He tucked the strand of hair behind my ear as we kept on walking and kissed me full on the lips. I kissed him in return. My head was spinning as we broke apart from each other, something I realized I didn't want us to do. "Wow, that was wonderful," I said as I blushed yet again. "Do you mind if we do that again?" He laughed as we kissed again. I tried to remember how it felt to kiss him, walking hand in hand in the moonlight under the huge sycamore trees that were planted nearby.
"Did you like that? He asked, smiling at me. For a moment I forgot how to breathe as I looked at his face; so beautiful and bright. His chocolate- brown curls framing his face were like that of Liberachi's .
"It was beautiful," I replied. We sat down next to the nearest tree as we talked some more.