The Untold Memory
ASOIAF © GRRM
Jon can remember that sore part clearly. But somehow, he can't recall what happened next. /Jon & Robb.
.
"I'm Lord of Winterfell!" Jon cried, as he had a hundred times before. Only this time, this time, Robb had answered, "You can't be Lord of Winterfell, you're bastard-born. My lady mother says you can't ever be the Lord of Winterfell."
Yes, that was it. Only silence came after that. Jon couldn't find any word to reply. He looked shocked and confused. How couldn't he? It was the first time Robb said such thing to him.
He opened his mouth, but closed it again, seemed unsure of what to say. He didn't know how to react, or say. So the bastard said and did nothing, but it was very clear that his brother's words had wounded him deeply. His face could say it all.
That was when Robb suddenly realized his mistake. That was the first time Jon made that kind of face because of him. Robb didn't do it intentionally, of course. The boy just said what was crossed in his mind at that time without any second thought. He should have kept it only in his head, but, even he didn't understand why those words escaped from his mouth. "No, I mean ..."
"You are right." Jon gave him a little smile. But his grey eyes refused to look at his half-brother's eyes. "It's fine, you're right. You win." The smile grew wider, but it was forced. Robb could see nothing but pain behind it.
Robb's throat went drier as Jon finally broke another silence and said, "Hey, I forget to tell you that I have something else to do this morning." he said it very quick, yet his voice was trembling. But he kept his smile.
Robb froze and only stood when Jon finally turned around and run away. Leaving only his scent, and invisible pain in the air.
No, don't go. Robb almost said.
He didn't mean it. He really didn't.
And the whole day, Robb couldn't find Jon anywhere. He was looking for his brother alone, as it would shame him more if he asked the others. They would have questioned him why. Why are you looking for Jon? You two are always together. Did something happen?
No. Robb didn't want to recall that cruel thing he had done to Jon.
It was almost midnight when Robb finally found Jon in his chamber. It was very awkward first, but nothing good would ever come by him acting like a fool who kept pretending nothing ever happened. He should make a move. Jon would never forget it, Robb was sure of that, but at least he wanted to make a better memory of this day for Jon to remember.
"I thought you had gone south to find some dragon eggs and will come to Winterfell later as dragonknight." Robb giggled. His joke sounded awful though. "But it seems I was wrong."
Jon didn't reply, but Robb was stubborn too. "Hey look, I'm sorry for what happened this morning."
"There is nothing to forgive." Jon whispered beneath his blanket.
"If there really is, can you at least show your face to me?" Robb came to his brother's bed. He took the blanket away and looking for Jon's face once he saw the dark brown hair facing him instead. He cupped his brother's cheek, forced Jon to look at him.
Those grey eyes were red now. Jon closed his eyes quickly, didn't want Robb to see this side of him. "Leave me alone."
"Why?" Robb bit his own lip, his voice breaking with feeling, and tears was falling down his cheeks. "We used to cry together, don't we? Or have you forgotten?"
"Lea—"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for ever said that stupid thing."
"You only said the truth." Jon whimpered. He began to sniffle while his body was shaking. His voice was extremely hoarse from crying.
"But it was not good. I should have never said that." Robb hugged Jon tightly like the world will end if he didn't.
"No, it—"
"Yes it is! Don't you dare to lie!" He wept so loud, and soon Jon's bawling followed him. "I promise you once I'm Lord of Winterfell, I will ask the King to legitimize you, I will make you a Stark. Even if the King don't want to do that, I will make myself a king and legitimize you. I will do anything. I want us to have the same last name."
"You promise?" Jon asked, his voice had been faint as a whisper. Even though he knew that was impossible, he was still happy to hear such thing from his brother. Let's just pretend all of it was possible, though.
"I promise." Robb answered. And he kept answering because he wanted Jon to know it was no lie.
They spent the whole night crying together, until there were no tears left to weep and there was no strength left to stay awake.
Sadly, the next morning Jon opened his eyes, he was alone in his bed.
Ah, I get it. So that was just a dream after all. Jon told himself, smiling bitterly.
Note:
Sorry for lot of mistakes I made, as English is not my native language, so I will be very thankful if you can correct it. And yes, grammar is my weakness.
(It'd be good if I can find a beta reader though)