Preface
Having rediscovered the first season of Laff-A-Lympics online in 2014, I wrote a crossover inspired by those episodes. In doing so, I brainstormed the idea of adding a new season of traditional episodes because the show barely lasted 1½ seasons. Although I'll be writing these episodes in the modern day, I consider the main characters ageless. After all, I don't think anyone wants to see our teams playing bingo, checkers, and shuffleboard every week. That said, each chapter will end with (mock) social media posts from one or more teams—my way of adding a contemporary touch to this classic series.
Originally, I planned to call this The Virtual Season, but I chose to change the subtitle to The Global Games. By definition, a season of fan fiction episodes is virtual. Also, if I chose to do an additional—and smaller—sequel, I want it to stand alone without implying which "season" comes first in sequence.
Although I've written each chapter as if it was a full episode of the show, I plan to include a playoff championship and an award presentation in the final chapter. I've tried to minimize any repetition of events and places used in the original episodes, but some cities or countries may be reused albeit with different events and outcomes. I'll further explain why I selected the event locations I did in the story's final chapter.
Just as I did in my crossover, Laff-A-Lympics: Oz and Kansas, I randomly select each event's order of finish just before I start writing about it. This eliminates any bias I may have for or against a given team. Also, it makes it fun to write a plausible sequence of events that results in the randomly-selected outcome. Additionally, I hope this means that the Scooby Doobies won't win 60% of the time as they did in the original episodes.
Also, I will use all italics for the announcer's play by play and commentary. This will eliminate the need to use direct quotations for this.
Finally, my standings at the end of each episode will be in the following format: Team name, gold medals, silver medals, bronze medals, and total points earned.
Acknowledgments
Very special thanks to Hanna-Barbera for the Laff-A-Lympics show and characters contained therein. I suppose the International Olympic Committee also deserves thanks for the Olympic Games that inspired the cartoon.
"Heavens to hilarity! Welcome back to a new season of Laff-A-Lympics."
That's right, Snagglepuss. It's time for a brand new season of Laff-A-Lympics.
"The teams are back for another round of around-the-world fun featuring the Yogi Yahooeys, the Scooby Doobies, and the Really Rottens. The players have worked hard to get back into shape, so let's join them, even!"
Greetings, sports fans. Our first events of the season start in the cool city of Calgary, Canada. From there, we have unusual events scheduled south of the border in Uruguay. As always, our teams will compete for the ever-coveted Laff-A-Lympics Gold Medal. Let's meet our color commentators: Snagglepuss and Mildew Wolf. Take it away, gentleman.
"Thanks, and welcome to our newest episode—our premiere even," Snagglepuss stated. "We should have a fun competition. Mildew, what do you think?"
"I think I was crazy to let you talk me out of my cushy job as a semi pro team's mascot. Why I'd want to deal with savages again is beyond me," Mildew replied.
"Perhaps, but with the new format, let's hope everyone plays hard and hardly cheats . Our first event is the Calgary Stamp Stampede. For the Yogis, we have those super sleuths, Snooper and Blabber."
"If there's anything worth finding, we'll find it," Blabber Mouse stated.
"That's right, Blab," Snooper replied.
"For the Scoobies, we have our heroes in blue, the Blue Falcon and Dynomutt," Snagglepuss said.
"If anyone can compete with sportsmanship and class, that's us," Blue Falcon replied.
"That's right, B.F. buddy of mine," Dynomutt replied with a silly giggle.
Snagglepuss nodded indifferently before adding, "And for the Rottens, we have Daisy Mayhem and her pig Sooey."
"Yahoo! We'll lasso in some points for the team, right Sooey?" Daisy asked.
Sooey oinked and grunted in reply.
"Listen up, everybody," Mildew said. "We've hidden a number of stamps here in Nose Hill Park. The team that collects the most stamps in the allotted team wins."
And as usual, our scoring for first, second, and third places is 25, 15, and 10 respectively. Penalties for cheating are assessed at the judges' discretion.
As the opening bars of Oh, Canada played through the loudspeaker, Snagglepuss told everyone, "On that note—and those notes—it's time to start. Good luck, even."
All three duos took off for various parts of the park in search of stamps.
"So, what exactly are we looking for, Snoop?" Blabber asked.
"Stamps, just like the man said."
"Postage stamps?"
"I guess."
"Wouldn't you find those at a post office and not a park?"
"Less blabbing and more snooping. Hey, this looks like one here." Snooper pulled what appeared to be a stamp off the trunk of a tree and examined it with his magnifying glass. It had a maple leaf with the words "Laff-A-Lympics" written around it.
"Oh boy. We got one!" Blabber exclaimed.
"We need more than that if we want to win. Let's keep looking."
Elsewhere, the Blue Falcon and Dynomutt walked down a trail in search of the hidden stamps.
"Why would they put stamps in a park, B.F? Are they going to mail a snail?" Dynomutt asked.
"Of course not, dog blunder. And, it's 'snail mail.' But enough of that. Keep your eyes open."
Dynomutt curiously sniffed a bush.
"I didn't think you were programmed for that," Blue Falcon stated as he face-palmed.
"Of course not, but look what I found." Dynomutt pulled his head out of the bush to reveal a stamp stuck to his snout.
"Your nose knows after all, Dynomutt. Good job."
In a secluded part of the park, Daisy and Sooey met up with Mr. Creepley and Mumbly.
"Alright, Creepley. Here's the stamp. Are you sure you can make me enough to win?" Daisy asked.
"Of course, I can. This super duper mini stamp producer can make stamps by the strip. All we have to do is scan yours in and they'll never know these are fakes," Mr. Creepley replied with an evil laugh.
Mumbly snickered as he watched Mr. Creepley turn on the device.
Daisy checked the time. "We gotta go now before we run out of time and get disqualified," she said. Grabbing what she could from the stamp producer machine, she and Sooey ran off frantically to beat the clock.
A few moments later, the contestants were back at the starting area.
"Who wants to go first and start us off even?" Snagglepuss asked.
"We do! We do!" Daisy replied. She carefully handed the stamps to Mildew who started to count them.
"Wow, the Rottens have 136 stamps here," Mildew said in disbelief as he cast a suspicious look at Daisy.
"Something isn't right here. Could the Rottens really have such perfect stamps?" the Blue Falcon asked. Without definitive proof, however, he couldn't challenge the result.
"Aww, Snoop, we can't win now, we only have 93 stamps," Blabber Mouse stated.
"Oh well, Blab, we gave it our best shot and searched high and low," Super Snooper replied.
Snagglepuss counted the stamps submitted by the Blue Falcon and Dynomutt. "There's 150 right on the nose," he told everyone.
Dynomutt stretched his mechanical neck and touched the stamps. "Now they're right on the nose," he said.
The Blue Falcon shook his head as the Rottens grumbled to know their cheat didn't help them win.
The Scoobies get 25 points for their first place finish. The Rottens get 15 for second, and Yogis get 10 for third.
"I'm here at Max Bell Arena for our next event: one rock curling," Mildew told the audience.
"Curling? I'm good at that," Scooby-Dum said as he laid down and curled up into a ball.
"That's the wrong sport, you crazy mutt. Here, each team will have the chance to slide one rock down the ice. The closest to the target gets first place and so on."
"Let's meet the contestants," Snagglepuss said. "For the Yogis, we have Mr. Jinks with Pixie and Dixie. Do you really think you'll do well. Those stones are heavier than the three of you put together."
"We're good, Snag. I'll throw the stone here while the meese do the sweeping," Mr. Jinks replied.
"For the Scoobies, we have Shaggy, Hong Kong Phooey, and Babu."
The remainder of the team cheered on their teammate.
"And for the Rottens, we have the Creepley family: Mr. and Mrs. Creepley and Junior Creepley."
The rest of the Really Rottens made noises to show support for the Creepleys.
"Alright, everybody, you know the rules, so let's start," Mildew told everyone.
"OK, you meeses, get ready to sweep," Mr. Jinx said as he slid forward and launched his stone. He then proceeded to fall flat on his face.
Pixie and Dixie looked on in horror at the stone closing in on the both of them.
"We better start sweeping, Dixie," Pixie stated.
"If we don't get swept away first, Pixie."
The mice did their best to sweep a straight path for the stone, but it slowly veered to the left. However, it stopped inside the four-foot diameter circle.
The Yogis start off with a good shot and good placement. But with two other teams left, it remains to be seen if they can maintain that position. Next up is the Scoobies.
Babu was set to launch his stone. Shaggy and Hong Kong Phooey stood ready to sweep.
"I bet I could get this stone to glide as if it was as light as a feather. Yapple Dapple!" Babu stated. As he pushed off from the hack, his stone slid so fast down the ice, neither Shaggy nor Hong Kong Phooey had a chance to sweep. The stone slid past the Yogi's stone and out of play.
"Sorry, guys," Babu groaned remorsefully.
"We didn't even have a chance to sweep," Shaggy stated.
"I know we should have signed up for broom ball," Hong Kong Phooey replied as he brandished his own broom like a samurai sword.
Last up is the Really Rottens.
Junior Creepley pushed the stone off from the hack while his parents did their best to sweep
"Did you switch stones, Dirty?" Dread Baron asked.
"You bet I did, you should be able to control it remotely from here. Nobody will know the difference."
"Excellent." Dread Baron than pushed a button and tugged on the remote's joystick. Unfortunately, the Rottens' Stone didn't respond to the controls. However, the Scoobies' stone did. It slowly moved down the ice until it struck Dread Baron in the foot.
"Oww! I didn't think cheating would be this hard," he whined as he hopped on his other foot.
Meanwhile, the Creepleys looked on in confusion. Surely, their stone should be moving closer to the center button. Without the planned cheating, however, it stopped barely inside the scoring area.
"Oh well, at least we beat one of the goody good teams again," Mr. Creepley said.
"That's right, darling. Let them enjoy last place for a change," his wife answered.
With these final results, the Yogis get 25 points for first place. Once again, the Rottens get 15 for second. The Scoobies failed to place their stone in the scoring area, so they get no points. At the halfway point, the Yogis hold the lead with 35 points, the Rottens are in second with 30, and the Scoobies have 25 points for last place.
"Well, Mildew, it's time for us to move on to our next location," Snagglepuss stated.
"I hope it's not as cold as Calgary was, Snag."
"We'll be going someplace spicy under the sun in the utmost country in South America: Uruguay."
"Oh, peachy. I can hardly wait."
Stay with us as we pack our bags and finish our events south of the border in the continuing competition of the Laff-A-Lympics.
Welcome once again for the second half of our Laff-A-Lympics. Watch our teams compete in unusual events such as the coffee pot challenge and plate balancing on the Rio de la Plata.
When we left Calgary, the Yogis led with 35 points. The Rottens were next with 30, while the Scoobies were on the bottom with 25.
Take it away, Snagglepuss and Mildew.
"Thanks you. Thanks, indeed. We're here with our next event, that caffeinated competition, the coffee pot challenge," Snagglepuss stated.
"Please tell me those savages aren't really going to pour hot coffee over their heads for charity, Snag," Mildew replied nervously.
"Of course not. The rules are simple. Each team is timed in this event. First, they have to score a goal by kicking the ball into the soccer net. After that, they have to fill a five gallon [18.9 L] pot with as much coffee as possible. The team with the most coffee wins first place—and two dozen donuts."
"I'm sorry I asked."
"For the Yogis, we have Huckleberry Hound and Doggie Daddy."
Both contestants bowed as they heard the crowd's cheers and applause.
"For the Scoobies, it's the Blue Falcon and Brenda Chance, the teen angel."
"You could say we might have a chance to win now," Brenda interjected.
"And, for the Rottens, it's Dread Baron and Dastardly Dalton."
"I drink coffee by the gallon. We could win just from my breath alone," Dread Baron stated.
"I don't know if I should be impressed or recoil in horror," Mildew answered. After a trumpet sounded, he added, "There's the starting signal, you silly savages. So get going."
An overhead clock was set to count down from five minutes.
All three teams rush to the soccer field to score their goal. The Scoobies get their goal first after Brenda's bicycle kick. Dread Baron coaxes his ball off the post and into the net. However, Doggie Daddy missed wide left. He'll have to take another shot before he can continue.
Dread Baron ran over to continue the game. He quickly tagged Dastardly Dalton, who was now able to begin filling the Rottens' coffee pot. In this stage, teammates took turns filling their team's pot.
Doggie daddy finally scored his goal and ran quickly to tag Huck hound.
"You can do it, dear old dad!" Augie Doggie called out.
With all three teams frantically filling their pots, the Rottens appear to have the slight edge over the Scoobies. The Yogis will have to work fast to catch up and move out of the cellar.
Huck Hound suddenly took his coffee and drank some of it. He then sprinted to the pot to pour the remaining amount in.
"That's the way to perk up," Doggie Daddy told his teammate as they traded positions.
We have a real barn-burner brewing here now as time slowly winds down. With the Yogis' caffeinated charge, this competition may go down to the wire.
The crowd cheered loudly as the final seconds closed down. As the clock reached zero, an unexpected shrill tone stopped everyone.
"On that high note, let's check to see how our contestants did. We'll activate the automatic coffee weighing machines that will show us each team's final amount," Snagglepuss said. A moment later, the final results displayed.
"The Yogis finished with 3 gallons and 63.2 ounces [13.2 L]. I'd hate to have to drink all of that," Mildew stated.
"And here with the Scoobies, I see they poured their efforts into a total of 4 gallons and 12.3 ounces [15.5 L]. So far, so good."
Mildew looked at the Rottens' total and gasped. "I hope I'm seeing things, Snag, but the Rottens finished with 4 gallons and 100.1 ounces [18.1 L]. That can't right, can it?" he asked in disbelief.
"Let's review the overhead replay and anti-cheat machine. Let's review the film."
As we review the footage, we see everybody completing the event as the rules specified. There were no cheats and the final results stand.
"The Rottens won without cheating? Well slather me in butter and make me a toast," Mildew replied.
"Don't tempt us. Just give us those donuts you promised," Dread Baron replied as Mumbly snickered.
"Well, it's official, the Rottens won ... took first place even," Snagglepuss added.
With their first place finish, the Rottens' 25 points now moves them into first place with 55 points. The Scoobies' 15 points for second moves them up to 40. Despite earning just 10 points for last place, the Yogis hang on to second place with 45 points.
"We're here in Montevideo for our final event: Plate Balancing on the Rio de la Plata," Mildew told the audience.
"And that's not all, Mildew, our final event is going to be shown live on the Montevideo Video Network. Whoever wins this event will be the big winners."
"The suspense is going to kill me, I just know it."
"Well, until it does, let's meet the contestants. For the Yogis, we have Wally Gator and Hokey Wolf. How do you think you'll do?"
"I'm a water creature, you know," Wally replied as he chuckled, "But I've never balanced plates before."
"I'm sure you'll do just swimmingly. Over here for the Scoobies, we have Captain Caveman and the team captain himself, Scooby Doo."
Captain Caveman gave a few unintelligible grunts and growls.
"I couldn't have said it any better. Indeed, I couldn't. Lastly, for the Rottens, we have the Great Fondoo and Orful Octopus."
"We shall win this game with the plates and earn our way into first place," Fondoo replied in his accented voice.
"That remains to be seen, you spell-bound savage. Both team members will have to spin three plates as they sail up the river and avoid pitfalls including the unknown monsters that lurk beneath the surface?"
"M... monsters?" Scooby asked as his teeth chattered.
Captain Caveman growled back in reply before saying "Me protect."
"The team that crosses the finish line with the most plates spinning wins the game—and the gold medal. So good luck, and no cheating!" Mildew told everyone.
And our teams are off. The Scoobies take the early lead with the Yogis and Rottens neck and neck close behind them.
"Good job, Captain Caveman," Scooby told his teammate.
Captain Caveman responded with gibberish before adding "Watch for sea creatures."
"Cre... creatures?" Scooby asked with a gulp.
Behind them, the Yogis worked hard to try to take over the lead.
"C'mon, Wally, you have the easy job navigating us. Keeping these plates spinning is hard work."
"It's not easy spinning a plate and navigating a ship, you know. But don't worry, I'll navigate us straight to victory."
Behind them, the Great Fondoo had his own plans.
"Behold, I shall use my magic to help us win." Briefly letting go of the rudder, he gestured to the other teams with his free hand and said, "Alla kazoo, Alla kazate, take from them each a plate."
A large puff of smoke consumed the Rottens' raft. As it cleared, Fondoo was missing his plate and Orful was down to a single plate. Orful shook his tentacles and gurgled angrily at his teammate.
"Brack!" the Magic Rabbit replied angrily.
"Oh, go 'brack' at someone who cares. I don't know why it didn't work," Fondoo replied.
The Rottens have moved into second place, but they're down to one plate. The Yogis have now overtaken the Scoobies for first. Can the Scoobies battle back?
"No worries, me fix," Captain Caveman replied. After screaming his name, however, he lost one of his plates. Unfazed, he pointed his club behind him and used its added propulsion to speed up their raft. Before long, they took the lead. Unfortunately, Scooby lost his plate from the sudden acceleration.
Wow, look at that. Shaggy and Captain Caveman have cruised right into first place past the Yogis. The Rottens' rotten luck has moved them to last.
Shortly after that, Captain Caveman's club sputtered and lost power.
"Uh oh, bad time for stalling penalty," he said.
With the Scoobies' misfortune, the Rottens then moved into second place. Ahead of them, Wally and Hokey did their best to navigate to the finish line.
"Hey, Wally, watch out for that swamp monster!" Hokey called out.
"Huh? What? What monster?" Wally asked as he leaned over to check the rudder. Unknown to him, a rather hideous creature jumped out of the water and sailed over his head before splashing into the water again.
"Never mind," Hokey replied.
"See, there's no such thing as monsters. As if."
Back in the rear, Scooby and Captain Caveman paddled their raft as quickly as they could.
"C'mon, Captain Caveman, we have to finish this race and get our points."
Captain Caveman grunted as he continued to use his club to paddle the raft quicker than he could with his bare hands.
The racers are closing in on the finish line. And, it's the Yogi's in first with all three plates. The Rottens finish close behind in second, but with just one plate. And the Scoobies finish third with two of their plates.
"Hold on, there, the results are under review," Mildew stated.
You're right. I've just received word that the Rottens will receive a 10 point penalty for their attempted cheat.
"Brack!" the Magic Rabbit replied.
"Let's check the final scoreboard. Check it out, we shall," Snagglepuss stated.
The Yogis get 25 points for finishing first and take the gold medal with 70 points. The Rottens, after their 10-point deduction, get five points and finish second with 60. The Scoobies, with 10 points for third, finish in the cellar with 50.
On a clearing in the shore, the teams received their medals. Cindy Bear, Mumbly, and Tinker received gold, silver, and bronze medals respectively.
"That's it for our first set of events, everyone. We hope you tune in again for our next episode," Snagglepuss told everyone. Turning to Mildew, he added, "See, that wasn't too bad, was it?"
"Some things never change, Snag. I'm sure it won't be long before we're back to our old tricks again."
"Did somebody say tricks?" Fondoo asked as he started to wave his wand.
"Exit, stage anywhere!" Snagglepuss exclaimed before he and Mildew took off running.
Tune in again next time for more exciting around-the-world adventures with the Laff-A-Lympics.
Mock Social Media Update
Official LAL Bogus Chirper Feed – The Yogi Yahooeys win the first competition in our new #Laff-A-Lympic season.
Yogi Yahooeys MyBook Account – We were better than the average team and won ourselves a gold medal today.
Rottens Stumbler Account – Drat, drat, and double drat. We should have won, but second place isn't all that bad.
Team Standings
Yogi Yahooeys, 1, 0, 0, 70
Really Rottens, 0, 1, 0, 60
Scooby Doobies, 0, 0, 1, 50