Heart Mender
Written in Lucy Heartfilia's point of view
I am shattered, broken. People now avoid me for I am always very pessimistic and very ignorant about their feelings. They spread rumors that I am the one who has caused the ruckus during the school festival. I stopped eating much, now I am thin and colorless. I am not my usual self anymore, the lively, fat and pink me. I looked like a skeleton in my current form. Some people think that I was possessed by a demon; I was cold to them and usually very hot-headed. I wasn't my old cheery self, the person who always smiled at everyone and the one who has lent her shoulder for others to lean on. I am now the opposite of my old self; brutal and ignorant. I can't feel anything anymore. I am empty. Shallow.
This all started several months ago, when I confessed to the person I most loved. He rejected me in the most hurtful way; he called me names and blurred my view of myself. I now saw myself as helpless and stupid. I cannot keep on fooling myself, I thought. That thought kept on ringing in my head that it changed my entire personality. It turned my whole world around. I was broken-hearted; my heart was shattered, left on the floor. He was the person I dreamt of; the one who was supposed to be my guiding light, MY own shoulder to lean on, but he ended up doing the exact opposite. He was the person who broke my heart. Stupid little me, thinking of him as my one and only.
I prepared my things for school; tomorrow was the first day of my high school life. I didn't really want to attend classes but my father persuaded me somehow. I never thought that my father would understand my emotions, but I THINK, I just think that he could. My father and I, we never actually get along. My mother died when I was young and since then, my father and I were always distant; away from each other. My mother was the glue of our family, metaphorically, of course. She always made me dad and I make up whenever we had a fight. Since her death, the only time that my father and I were close was when that bastard broke my heart. It seems my father can relate to my feelings. Past experiences, maybe? Oh well, better give my uniform to the housemaid or else I'll have nothing to wear tomorrow.
It's already night time so I did my usual thing; the routine I do even when I was my old self, walking near the river. Dinner was finished and my father had no complaints that I was walking alone. I guess he knew that walking was my alone time. I reached the river near the small arched bridge in front of the clock shop. I sat under the bridge; there was still space big enough for me to fit in, and threw stones at the water. I thought about the past and winced when I remembered that time when I was rashly rejected. That thought enraged me so but I controlled my anger, throwing stones hard on the river. I felt tired and curled like a fetus, my head lain on my arms. My body shook so hard I thought I was cold but when strong waves went up and down my spine, it hurt. I looked up and my vision was foggy. I was crying. Maybe the thought of my heart breaking created some kind of trauma. I sighed. I better go home, I thought.
I woke up at three in the morning. My head hurt and my ears were ringing. I felt my face and it was moist. I was crying. Again. Since that day, I experienced nightmares and I was screaming my lungs out every one or two or three in the morning. During the first week of my depressed time (and I am still in that time), whenever I screamed, my dad or the housemaid would run up to my room and see if I was okay. They saw my bed; it was ruined, messed up because of my movements, and my form; it was also ruined, hair was all curled up and my eyes were devilishly red from crying. My spine hurt I stayed in bed for three days. The housemaid described her point of view when she saw me as if she was watching a horror movie, only it was real. The past few months had been a nightmare. I was dreaming about that particular scene over and over again but with gory endings like his head blowing up, his eyes were popping and so much more. Just thinking about it scares the living hell out of me. Seeing deaths of people repeatedly is not easy for me or anyone. Anyway, shoo bad thoughts! It's still very early and I have to go to school tomorrow for my dad, I thought.
I woke up again at six-thirty in the morning and continued my routine during school day mornings. First of my routines are, of course, waking up. I usually wake up with afro-looking hair (in both personalities) because I always move when sleeping. If I am very tired the night before, you'll find one of the pillows wet because of my saliva and sometimes you'll find traces of my saliva on my cheeks. Second of my routines are, going to the bathroom. Sometimes, when I bathe, I accidentally turn on the cold shower and end up having colds or a big bump on my head. When the cold water touches my skin, I freak out and start jumping, so sometimes when I come out of the shower, I have a big bump on my head because I slipped and fell. Third routine is dressing up and fixing the hair. I don't really like following the latest fashion trends because when I fix myself, it's because of him. And I don't want to remember him because of some outfit. Fourth routine is eating breakfast and after that, brushing my teeth, is a must. You do NOT want people seeing your teeth with a little green thingy in the gaps of your teeth. Fifth routine is walking to school. I looked at the time. It was already seven in the morning. I'd better go or else I'll be late for school.
I was already near school when the school bell rang. I ran fast, and my thoughts were all about tripping on my own feet and landing face-first on the rocky, cement floor. It's like I had a premonition because it really happened. I tripped on my own feet and fell but before I hit the pavement, two strong, well-trimmed arms saved me from having another wound. I was lifted without a sweat and I turned to look at my hero. He had pink hair, a goofy smile and REALLY big muscles.
"Hey, you alright?" the pink-haired guy asked me.
"Yeah, thanks."
"My name's Natsu. Natsu Dragneel." He said, reaching out his hand.
"Lucy Heartfilia.", I introduced myself, taking his hand and shaking it.
"Ah, so you're the rumored demon. Are you really? Cause you look kinda good to me." He smiled that goofy smile.
I smiled back. After several months, this is the first time I smiled so it felt great. I didn't really listen to him now since I can't hear him. There were butterflies in my stomach. I'm falling in love with the goofy kid. He was my age though. I won't let go anymore because he's my little heart mender.