(disclaimer: I do not own the rights to these charators)

"It was a dark and stormy night."

Sam looked at Carly and chuckled. "Waddup with the gloom?"

"I'm starting a story for my friend Carrie. It's about Seattle."

"Dude, nights are always dark and Seattle is aways stormy."

"Oh, it is not!"

Sam threw herself on the sofa and grabbed the TV remote. "The last time it didn;t rain they called the National Guard."

The apartment door flew open and Freddie walked in. "Hola hola! Buenos diaz monchacholattos!"

"Why does the nub speak spanish all the time?" Sam yawned.

"Oh, it;s something for the ratings,"

"I'd like to do something to Fredwarts ratings!"

Freddie sat on the arm of the sofa. "Speaking of warts-"

"I wasn't speaking of you - no wait, I was!"

"Sammy, let Freddie finish!"

Sammy yawned and rolled her eyes. "I'm going to raid the fridge. Call me when the doof is done."

"Ignore her, Freddie. She hasn;t eaten in six minutes."

"What, the store ran out of pork?"

"If I knew how to roll my eyes I'd do it," Carly sighed. "Freddie, what were you taking about?"

"Oh right! I was walking through the lobby-"

"More like grovelling!"

"SAM! Freddie, continue."

"Anyway, Lewbert was at the desk, wart and all."

Carly shivered. "I hoped someone in prison would kill that wart."

"Well get this. He says we are to blame for him going to jail, and he's going to get us!"

"On no!" Carly moaned dramatically. "What will we do?"

"We could join the navy!" Freddie grinned. "Just think, you, me, together!"

"Not going to happen! Besides, your mother won't let you go on a boat!"

"Carlyyyyyyy. Carlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

"What is it, Sam?"

"Why is Spencer sitting inside the fridge?"

"CLOSE THE DOOR! I;m drawing cheese mold in real time! Look at how it's made half-moon marks all over this one?"

"Thats just spit, I was trying to chew off some ketchup I dropped."

Spencer tried to crawl out of the fridge, but it toppled over, pinning him to the floor. Sam shrugged and picked up the cheese and began eating.

(Freddie's voice: In 5, 4, 3, 2. Miranda singing: I know you see, somehow the world)