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Disclaimer: I do not own D(dot)Gray-man, for if I did…well, in the words of one of my closest friends/fanfic author… "All yaoi pairings should fear for their virginity"

A/N: Has anyone taking the Seme/Uke test? It's on .com. I'm really interested in what kind of semes or ukes people are. I, myself, am a Sadistic Seme…*sniffle* my friends are always teasing me because I'm the only Sadistic Seme we know. I've gotten a few of my friends to take it, and we even have this thing where we wear rings to represent what kind of seme or uke we are, it's really cool, it goes like this.

Semes wear black rings and Ukes wear red rings.

If you're a seme you wear it on your left hand if you're single and on your right hand if you're taken.

If you're an uke you wear it on your right hand for single and left for taken.

Put your ring on your:

Thumb-for Opportunist Seme/Clueless Uke

Index-for Sadistic Seme/Dramatic Uke

Middle-for Don't Fuck With Me Seme/Badass Uke

Ring-for Romantic Seme/Innocent Uke

Pinky-for Chibi Seme/Flaming Uke

Get it? If you're looking for a single uke or seme, just look for a ring on the hand opposite you ring, and to find a compatible match, just look for someone wearing a ring on the same finger as yours, just opposite hand and opposite color. The fingers match up directly with the most compatible match.

I just thought that this was a really cool thing that people should know about, and really clever too. I'll be watching out for red rings on the right hand index finger. Watch out Dramatic Ukes here comes a Sadistic Seme. *wink*

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"Baka Moyashi! Stop disrupting my meditation time." warned kanda as he sat with his eyes closed and his legs crossed in the traditional pretzel-style, his arms resting idly on his knees.

"But I'm not doing anything!" whined Allen as he tried earnestly to mimic the Japanese swordsman's current position.

"Well…stop breathing so loud." complained Kanda, his eyebrow twitching at his annoyance.

"But this is how I always breathe," pointed out Allen, "I can't breathe any quieter."

"Well then just stop breathing altogether!"

At that Allen shut up, leaving the room eerily quiet.

-Hmmmm…the Moyashi's been awfully quiet, this isn't like him.- thought Kanda.

Kanda ever so slightly opened one eye to peek over at Allen.

"Fuck." he cursed as he shook the unconscious Allen's body, "Damn it Moyashi, I didn't really mean to stop breathing! Baka!"

It was at that moment that Allen decided that he couldn't contain his laughter any longer and burst into fits of hysteria as Kanda just knelt there, stunned and pissed as hell.

"Moyashi…" growled Kanda murderously, "you better have just miraculously waken from the dead…"

And Allen laughed all the harder as he dodged Kanda's deadly swings.

It was later at Dinnertime, as Allen and Kanda that continued their non-stop bickering, that Lenalee came up with the idea.

"Instead of arguing and fighting all the time, why don't you guys just have a competition?" asked Lenalee.

"I agree." said Lavi as he sized up Allen and Kanda individually, guessing who would be better to bet on.

"But of course we all already know who'd win…" started Lavi.

"Yeah," said Lenalee, nonchalantly, "it's obvious that the winner would be…"

"Allen."

"Yuu-chan."

It took them a good minute before realizing what the other had said. Immediately their eyes interlocked, the cackling sound of thunder almost audible between them.

Allen and Kanda had already stopped arguing long ago and now sat quietly enjoying their food as Lavi and Lenalee fought over them.

"Fine!" shouted Lavi, "Then Yuu challenges Allen to a sword fight."

"Okay, but then Allen challenges Kanda-kun to an eating contest." fired back Lenalee.

"Oi! Baka Usagi," scolded kanda as he smacked Lavi on thee head, "Don't put words into my mouth."

"Yeah," said Allen his mouth still stuffed with food, "You too Lenalee."

"Baka Moyashi, your mouth is so full of food, there's not enough room for her to fit any words in your mouth." pointed out Kanda.

"Hey, was that an *gulp* insult?" said Allen swallowing his food.

"Well it sure as hell wasn't a compliment." muttered Kanda.

"You're just mad because you know that you wouldn't be able to beat me in an all-out eating contest." retorted Allen.

"Of course I can't, your stomach is a black hole!" screamed Kanda tired of having to deal with the beansprout for this long, "I'm leaving! And nothing you could possibly say will persuade me otherwise."

The angry Japanese man spun on his heel and stalked towards the door when he was stopped by Allen's next words.

"He's just uncertain about his swordsmanship skills." said Allen nonchalantly to Lavi and Lenalee. Knowing he had hit a nerve, he dug deeper, "His stance is too stiff and his defense has a few openings here and there…"

"Would you mind saying that again Moyashi?" asked Kanda venom dripping into the very core of the question. He didn't turn around, but Allen could already guess the expression on Kanda's face as the short-tempered man before him clenched and unclenched the fists at his side, his other hand wrapped tightly around Mugen's hilt until his knuckles turned white.

"no problem Bakanda." smirked Allen, "I said that you were uncert-"

It only took a moment for Kanda to close the distance between them, the glare he gave Allen stopping him mid-sentence.

"I'll accept your challenge to the sword fight," hissed Kanda, "and any other event other than an all-out eating contest."

"Poker."

"What?" asked Kanda blinking in surprise.

"I challenge you" repeated Allen putting emphasis on the word 'challenge', "to a poker game."

-A poker game?- thought kanda -What kind of a joke is this?-

"Ah, Yuu-chan…" started Lavi.

"Don't call me that!"

"but…I don't think this is a good idea…"

"Why not?"

"Because Moyashi-chan would kill you in a game of poker." warned Lavi.

"It's Allen." reminded said beansprout.

"So what you're saying," instigated Lenalee, "is that Kanda-kun isn't smart enough to beat Allen?"

"Baka Usagi!" shouted Kanda letting his anger get the better of him, he turned to face Allen, "I'll play your stupid card game…but the loser has to…"

"Cosplay." said Lenalee.

"What?!" exclaimed Allen and Kanda in unison.

"Hmmmm…interesting." was all that Lavi said before running off to who-knows-where.

"Why cosplay?" asked Allen.

"Oh, it's just a little something for the fangirls." replied Lenalee.

"Fan…girls?" blinked Allen, thoroughly confused.

"Don't tell me we have them here at the Order too." said Kanda knowing full well what that meant as he looked around suspiciously.

"But of course." said Lenalee, "Watch."

She whispered a word , barely audible, that sounded like…yaoi?

The reaction was immediate.

"Fuck." said Kanda, "Don't tell me they're yaoi fangirls, those are the worst kind!"

The Canteen was suddenly filled with every single girl finder in the Order (which wasn't very many) and the squealing began.

There were shouts and screams of "yaoi" everywhere and the squeals echoed off the walls, everyone else in the cafeteria just ignored them, probably already used to the effects of yaoi fangirlness.

It was only a few seconds later that the fangirls noticed Allen and Kanda.

Through the Fangirl's Eyes

"Kanda," asked Allen looking at Kanda with puppy dog eyes that sparkled with curiosity, "What does 'Yaoi' mean?"

"I would tell you, my beloved Moyashi, if only I weren't so shy." replied Kanda blushing furiously as he looked away and 'che'd' to hide his embarrassment.

Then someone decided to help Kanda express his true feelings by pushing him forward.

The world stopped moving and the room was completely silent as the taller of the two exorcists pinned the younger boy to the ground in a passionate and breath-taking kiss.

What Really Happened

"Kanda," asked Allen, "What does 'Yaoi' mean?"

"Look it up yourself Moyashi, I'm not a freaking dictionary. Che." scolded Kanda.

It was then that one of the screaming fangirls (who just so happened to look a lot like Lenalee) 'accidentally' bumped into Kanda making the already pissed off exorcist fall on top of Allen, pinning him to the floor where their lips crashed together with bruising force.

The fangirls simply squealed in delight at the scene before them.

*******

A/N: I'll leave it at that. Just for the fangirls. Hopefully more chapters to come. I've been feeling pretty lazy lately. *yawn*

P.S. If you have any suggestions for this fanfic, don't be afraid to REVIEW.