Every Transformers Fanfiction Ever Written
Parodized By, Goggleplex
A/N: I do not own The Transformers, Hasbro does.
THE EXPLANATORY FIC:
(Optimus Prime does something interesting. The Camera fades to black in the middle of it.)
Camera: Well, I'm done here.
Author: Like hell you are.
THE BACKSTORY FIC:
Perceptor: Alas, I do not have much of a backstory.
Author: Now you do!
Perceptor: ... hooray?
THE BACKSTORY FIC, PART 2:
Elita One: I have no backstory, no personality, and perhaps three lines of dialogue.
Author: Well, we can't have that.
THE MARY SUE:
Starscream: I'm OOC.
MistySpace-sue: I'm stereotypical.
(Awkward moment.)
Starscream: I love you.
MistySpace-sue: I love you too, snookie-ookie-wookums.
THE SELF-INSERT:
Optimus Prime: Something is wrong.
Self Insert: I can fix it!
(She does.)
Optimus Prime: You're very strong.
Self Insert: I can beat you all up!
Optimus Prime: You're fourteen.
Self Insert: And I can solve all your problems!
Optimus Prime: That's wonderful! We trust you utterly!
THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT FIC:
Hot Rod: We won! It's over!
AUTHOR: Like hell it is.
(New Villain appears, looking startlingly like the AUTHOR.)
Villain: ... rar?
Hot Rod: Well, shockit. Gather everybody up again.
AUTHOR: Yay!
THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT FIC, PART 2:
Ironhide: We won! It's over!
Mirage: Suddenly I feel so... evil.
Ironhide: Shockit. Everybody, get back here.
Ratchet: I'll bring the angst!
THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT FIC, PART 3:
Jazz: So, here it is, 5,000 or 10,000 or even 100,000 years later.
Sideswipe: We're all old and we've gotten on with our lives.
(Something happens.)
Jazz: Well, shockit. Everybody?
Sunstreaker: I'll be right there! Where are my new replacement windows?
THE AU:
AUTHOR: So if this never happened then this happened instead and this never happened and then this happened, and...
Starscream: ... who am I?
Megatron: I'm so lost. I don't think I used to be this nice.
READERS: Whoa. Cool.
THE AU, PART 2:
Bombshell: ... this isn't an AU, I'm just ridiculously OOC.
Kickback: I think that's thanks to the freakishly modern-day setting.
Shrapnel: ... someone, help, I'm having an identity crisis-crisis!
Bumblebee: Jeans! I'm wearing jeans!
THE FISH OUT OF WATER:
Prowl: Help me! I've been yanked out of my world and dropped into the real world!
AUTHOR: Hi there!
Prowl: Help!
(See: MARY SUE.)
THE CROSSOVER:
Luke Skywalker: Where am I?
Rodimus Prime: What are you doing here?
Luke Skywalker: Who are you?
AUTHOR: Play nice!
(Wackiness ensues.)
THE PWP (HET):
Hot Rod: I'm straight!
Arcee: What a coincidence! So am I!
(They have sex.)
THE PWP (HOMO):
Starscream: I'm straight!
Skywarp: Like hell you are.
(They have sex.)
THE CUTE ROMANCE:
Carley: I am flirting.
Spike: I am flirting too.
Carley: Aren't we cute?
Spike: We are!
(They kiss, or hug, or just eye each other meaningfully.) (sorry I just couldn't put a non-human through that junk.)
THE ANGSTY ROMANCE:
Soundwave: This is so wrong.
Jazz: Yet this is so right.
Soundwave: I love you yet I hate you.
Jazz: Shut up, glitch, and kiss me.
Soundwave: Shortout you!
Jazz: Hey, don't mind if I do.
Soundwave: Noooo!
(Someone dies or kills self.)
THE CONFLICTED ROMANCE:
Starscream: I love you!
Skyfire: I love you!
Thundercracker: I love you too!
Starscream: ... shockit.
Thundercracker: Angst.
Skyfire: Woe.
Starscream: I just can't decide!
READERS: For Primus' sake! Flip a coin!
THE ANGSTFEST:
Starscream: Woe.
(Bad shit happens.)
Starscream: Angst.
(More bad shit happens, sometimes in flashback.)
Starscream: Alas.
(Starscream dies or kills self.)
THE ANGSTFEST, PART 2:
Starscream: Woe.
Skyfire: I'm sorry.
Starscream: Angst.
Skyfire: I wish I could help.
Starscream: Alas.
Skyfire: Please, let me heal your soul.
Starscream: Okay.
(Everything becomes fine.)
THE PARODY:
Megatron: Something OOC and highly ironic.
Soundwave: Equally OOC and ironic response.
(OOC stuff happens.)
Rumble: Highly OOC ironic commentary.
(Hopefully, the READERS laugh.)
THE INCOMPETANT PARODY:
Ratchet: OOC and scatological!
Wheeljack: OCC and mispeled j0!
(Nothing happens.)
Red Alert: OOC response!
Perceptor: Dorky laughter!
THE SONGFIC:
Jazz: I quote lyrics to a popular song in a meaningful way.
AUTHOR: I am saved from having to be original.
Jazz: More lyrics are quoted as I perform appropriate actions to them.
AUTHOR: I hurt people with my perceived depth.
READERS: AUGH get this BSB song out of my skull AUGH.
THE POEM:
Skyfire: Angst. Woe. Oh dear. Oh no.
AUTHOR: Hey! Not like that, that rhymes.
Skyfire: Oh. Sorry. Um. Angst. Woe. Depression. Sentence fragments. Oddly indented phrasing.
AUTHOR: That's better.
THE HOLIDAY FIC:
Rumble: ... but why would we celebrate Christmas? We're so obviously not Christian.
Ramjet: And I've not really the type to be this happy.
Frenzy: It doesn't snow in the middle of the ocean!
AUTHOR: Shut up and string tinsel. My fic.
THE MOOD PIECE:
Cyclonus: Nothing is happening.
AUTHOR: Mood.
Cyclonus: Nothing is still happening.
AUTHOR: Mood.
Cyclonus: But it's not happening in a very pretty and adjectival way.
Galvetron: So it is.
AUTHOR: Mood.
(READERS snore.)
THE CONFUSING FIC:
Arcee: What happened?
Hot Rod: Shortout if I know.
AUTHOR: It's symbolic!
Arcee: ... Sparkit.
THE CONFUSING FIC, PART 2:
Rumble: What happened?
Frenzy: Shortout if I know.
AUTHOR: hur hur hur th1s suxx0rz j00 r so GAY!!! R&R pl33z!!!!!!!
Rumble: ... Sparkit.
-End Parody-
The idea for this story isn't mine. This is just a parody of a parody from Hope you enjoyed it though! If I missed a story type tell me and I'll add it on with others in the next installment! (Note I couldn't think of anymore so this is officially a one-shot)