Thomas the Tank Engine: UNCUT
Episode 4: Henry Goes To McDonald's
Disclaimer: I don't own Thomas the Tank Engine. Sorry it's been so long since the last episode.
One day on the island of Sodor, the Fat Controller was challenged to an eating contest by Ronald McDonald in the McDonald's at the end of the line. If the Fat Controller won, he'd win £1000 and a holiday to Mallorca. If Ronald McDonald won, the Fat Controller would have to paint one of his engines pink and ride around in it waving to the crowds and playing Hannah Montana music full blast.
The guy with the watch started the timer. "Ready…3…2…1…GO!!!"
The Fat Controller and Ronald McDonald began to scoff as many Big Macs as they could.
Meanwhile, farther up the line, Henry was waiting on a siding at a station to pull his next train. "I hope it isn't goods this time, the refuse train I pulled here smelled AWFUL." said Henry.
Suddenly two little boys looking for trouble appeared on the station platform near Henry. They jumped onto the line, ran across to the siding and jumped onto Henry's cab.
"Oi! Get out of there! Only my Driver and Fireman are allowed in there!" yelled Henry.
"Shut up," said one boy, "Now where's that lever?"
"Wait a minute, I know what you're trying to do!" said Henry. "But what you don't realise is that we engines can move ourselves! Our drivers and firemen are just there to tell us when so we don't crash into each other on the line! So ha-ha boys, that old trick won't work on me!"
"Oh, but ha-ha you, we've messed with your gearbox so you will move!" said the boy, showing Henry a screwdriver.
"Uh oh." thought Henry.
"And you won't stop till you hit something hard!" said the other.
Henry then began to move. He tried to stop but he couldn't.
"Crap! What have you CHAVS done?!" cried Henry.
"See ya later, loser!" called one of the boys as Henry sped off down the line.
"OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" cried Henry repeatedly.
Henry shot through a small station, knocking over an old lady who was stood too close to the platform edge.
"OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!"
Henry ran over the Jonas Brothers who were skipping down the line collecting flowers like pansies.
"OH NO NO N—Yes! I've just saved musical society!"
Henry remembered he was going at 100mph and couldn't stop.
"Oh. Right. OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!"
Meanwhile, The Fat Controller and Ronald McDonald had almost finished their Big Macs. They were stuffed.
"I MUST…KEEP…GOING" thought the Fat Controller.
"CAN'T…LET…HIM…BEAT ME" thought Ronald McDonald.
Meanwhile, Henry was still blasting down the line malfunctioned and with no driver. He raced through a small town. He barrelled through a small village. He ploughed through Trevor the Traction Engine who was stuck on a level crossing.
"Sorry, Trevor!" called Henry as he continued down the line. "Idiot" murmured the mangled Trevor who had pieces of him scattered all over the level crossing.
Suddenly Henry saw a McDonald's in front of him. This was it! The end of the line!
"OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!"
He whizzed through the last station.
"Oh, sh*t!" he exclaimed. Henry shut his eyes.
There was a huge crash. The wall was destroyed. Rubble and dust was everywhere.
The Fat Controller and Ronald McDonald were unhurt, but while the Fat Controller was so distracted by Henry, Ronald McDonald saw that as an opportunity to finish his Big Macs before the Fat Controller.
"D'OH!" said the Fat Controller. "Thanks a lot, Henry. You're a VERY NAUGHTY ENGINE! Do you even KNOW what I have to do now because of you?"
"Wh-what sir?" mumbled Henry.
"Because I lost the eating contest, the money I could have won has to be used to repair the wall, but even worse, I have to PAINT YOU PINK, PLAY HANNAH MONTANA MUSIC AT FULL BLAST, AND WAVE TO THE CROWDS AS WE GO BY!!!!"
It was a very funny sight indeed! Henry and the Fat Controller made headlines all over Sodor! Later that night, the other engines joked about it.
"Look, there's Henry Montana!" tooted Thomas. "He's the gay pink engine!"
THE END