"Harleen! Baby wake up! It's time for school!" my mother yelled from the kitchen downstairs. I rubbed my temples; her high pitched Brooklyn accent could shatter glass!
"Comin ma!" I screeched back as I sat up groggily, slowly opening my eyes I felt the familiar feeling of hate grow in the pit of my stomach…why am I still alive? Whose idea of a sick joke was it to let the weary and the weak live through their pathetic lives? I looked around the tiny, dingy room that I was held captive in. The nasty white walls were covered with grime, posters, and smudges from dirty fingers, my second hand book bag was crammed into the corner with all of my other necessities for school, my bright red converse were pushed up tight against the door, letting me know that no one came into my room last night… I pushed myself up from the small mattress on the floor, letting the cold wood floors wake up my sleeping feet. I've never really minded the cold, it was numbing, soothing almost.
Walking toward my closet I picked up the only pair of jeans to my name. They had holes in the knees and grime from severe wear and tear, but at least they still fit…I was at the point in my life where my curves were slowly becoming noticeable and the child like roundness of my face was slowly slimming down. I put my legs through the holes and pulled the worn fabric up my figure. The button barely slid through the opening, but laying down I could finally get them to close. I grabbed the first long sleeved shirt that my fingers touched and pulled the cotton fabric over my head. Staring in the mirror I noticed that my lips were fuller, and with a little eye makeup I could actually be pretty…but daddy would never allow it. I flipped my head upside down and pulled my hair into two high pigtails. After I had finished adjusting them just right and smoothing out my wrinkled Screeching Weasel shirt, I put on a fake smile, grabbed my book bag and threw on my converse hap hazardly.
I ran down the creaky staircase and into the kitchen where my mother was fixing eggs on our tiny gas stove. "Mornin ma." I greeted her as I grabbed a plate from the kitchen cupboard.
"Good mornin sweetheart. Do ya have everything ready for today?" she looked at me from over her shoulder. "Harleen, what is going on with your pants?"
I looked down toward my converse. The jeans stopped just above my ankles, showing off the many scrapes that I had accumulated over the years. I glanced back at my mother's face. The years had definitely taken a toll on her. Her tired eyes sagged heavily and there was a dark bruise that was beginning to form on her cheekbone. "It's nothin ma, a bunch of kids at school wear their pants like this…it's the uh…new style." I lied through my teeth. I hated lying to my mother, but there was no way that I was going to ask her for another pair of jeans. Money was tight and dad would be furious if he knew that mom had spent it on jeans for me.
She looked at me with sad, understanding eyes "Alright Harleen, whatever you say…" she sucked in a deep breath as silent tears began to roll down her cheeks.
I walked up to her and took the burning eggs off of the stove "Hey….ma…it's okay, I swear! Look, if I roll them up a little more they could pass as capris." I smiled at her and she touched my face, tears still pouring from her eyes.
"You shouldn't have to start your first day of 9th grade out with the same clothes from last year…" she looked down.
"What's wrong with my clothes?" I giggled "I love these jeans. Don't worry about me mom, I'll be fine." I hugged her close and put the burnt eggs on my plate.
"You're a sweet girl Harleen Quinzel." She smiled "but that doesn't mean that you can stand over the counter and eat! Go sit down!" she laughed, playfully swatting my behind with a dish towel.
"Alright, I'm a getting!" I laughed and sat down at the small fold out table in our kitchen. Looking down at the scarred plastic I couldn't help but feel sick. We used to have a wooden one, but last time my dad decided to teach my mom a lesson we had to get a new one. I swallowed the thick, rubbery egg and instantly felt nauseous. I looked up at the clock on the wall and squealed. "I gotta go ma! I love ya! See ya later!" I threw my plate into the sink and rushed out the door to catch my bus.
"I love ya too sweetie! Have a good day! Make lots of friends!" I heard her yell after me. I closed the door snugly behind me and began the short walk around the block to Paul Robeson high school. Taking my walk man out of my backpack, I put the headphones over my ears and drowned out the world for a while.
…..at school…
"Get out of the way, freak." Blaire sneered behind me, pushing me into a locker. My books flew out in front of me, falling all over the floor. Her and her pointy nosed gang of bitches have done this to me every year since 6th grade, taunting me endlessly about my family, my hair, my clothes…everything. I moved out of the way and watched her strut down the hallway. Her perfect black hair swishing behind her, moving almost as much as her twig of a butt did, made me want to pounce on her and rip every one of them out by each follicle. I looked down at my books, deciding whether or not it was even worth the effort to bend over and pick it up.
"Jeez…if that girl swings her hips any harder she's going to break something." A deep, sultry voice laughed behind me. I turned around and was face to face with the most beautiful man I had ever seen. His long lean figure was covered by a jean slasher vest and a misfits t-shirt. He was tall, almost a 2 full heads taller than I was, his brown hair was shaggy on top with tips of green and cropped on the sides….kinda like an undercut, he had a wide mouth that stretched into a kind grin, but his eyes…they were like green fire. Slightly manic, but I felt like they were burning me from the inside out, discovering all my secrets, causing me to feel naked and slightly embarrassed. He kneeled down and began to pick up my books "Hi, I'm Jack, what's your name?"
"Uh…uhm…I'm Harleen." I squeaked out and started helping him pick up my books. God what was wrong with me? I glanced at down at our shoes, he was wearing high waters too.
He noticed me looking and coughed uncomfortably and stood up. "You shouldn't let them push you around like that." He looked into my blue eyes.
I just shrugged and laughed "it's better than saying something back and getting called out in front of everyone." Obviously this kid was new if he thought that I could just say something to her and everything would get better.
He looked into my eyes like he was searching for something and I shivered. "Well, if you're not gonna say anything can I at least walk you to class and make sure they don't do it again?" I hesitated, then nodded and we began walking toward my 3rd period chemistry class. When I stopped in front of the door he smiled "Do you have this class too?"
"Yeah." I breathed; my stomach was doing flip flops. I had never had someone this attractive take an actual interest into what I was saying before.
"Cool!" he laughed "Maybe I could finally get a cute lab partner." He winked at me and I thought I was going to faint. I let him lead me into the room and I sat down at the lab table across from him, staring at his lean figure. He was so perfect, everything from his strong nose and chin to his choice of music. He glanced at me and smiled. I smiled back gently and then bit my lip and looked down at my notes. What the fuck am I doing? I can't like someone! If my dad found out that I was talking to a guy he would fucking kill me. Besides… who would like little, high water wearing, messy pigtailed Harleen Quinzel? I looked up at Jack again. He was looking at me…why is he looking at me? My cheeks brightened and I glanced to the board. Mr. Murphy was talking about chemical compounds, how different chemicals can be so beautiful and burn brightly…but can ultimately be dangerous. I opened my notebook and began to write furiously. I have to concentrate; everything is riding on me getting a scholarship… my dreams, my future, getting out of this hell hole. Everything.
A piece of paper slid across the table toward me. 'You're concentrating awfully hard for the first day' the scrawled handwriting read.
I took the note and responded. 'I have to if I want any hope of getting a scholarship…' I pushed the note back at him annoyed.
'Whoa, sorry didn't mean to push any buttons…just trying to figure you out.' I glanced over at him and he smiled and put his hands up in surrender.
"Excuse me, Mr. Murphy?" the high pitched annoying squeal from the back of the class erupted. I put my head in my hands, I knew that voice. I turned back and received an evil smile from the head bitch in charge herself.
Mr. Murphy paused from his lesson and turned toward the class. "Yes Ms. Davenport?" He responded slightly annoyed.
"Harleen and … whatever his name is….are passing notes, and it's really distracting." She sneered. I put my head in my hands, great, just what I needed.
"I have a name ya know." Jack turned toward the annoying bitch in the back. "And why don't ya mind ya own god dammed business?" The whole class sucked in a breath. No one got on Blaire's bad side and heard the end of it. I glanced up at him. The term if looks could kill ran through my head. He was staring at Blaire with such disgust I almost felt sorry for her.
"Mr. Napier that is inappropriate language to use in my class room" Mr. Murphy chastised.
Blaire narrowed her eyes "Like I'd be interested in your name you freak." She flipped her dark hair behind her shoulder. "Any way does it look like I would take the time out of my day to talk to you anyway?"
"Jeez ya open your mouth and all I hear is 'blah blah blah'" he motioned with his hand "if you're going to open your mouth, at least try and sound intelligent. Ya know it's good for more than blow jobs."
Her mouth opened and the whole class went silent.
"MR. NAPIER, DETENTION THIS INSTANT!" Mr. Murphy's face had gone beet red by this point.
I glanced up and Jack and he winked. "I'm on my way. See ya after school doll."
Mr. Murphy looked at me. "Do you have anything to say?"
I glanced down at my notebook. "No sir." I squeaked. I couldn't get into trouble….if I did…who knows what dad would do. Mr. Murphy turned back to his lesson and a small paper ball hit the back of my head. I picked it up and read the message 'you and your little boyfriend are gonna get it.' I gulped and kept staring down at the white sheet in front of me, begging time to move faster.
…end of school…
"Hey, Harleen! Wait up!" Jack yelled after me. I stopped walking and turned around to meet the handsome stranger. "Jeez, 3rd period was…something huh?"
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yeah, it sure was. Thanks to you I have Blaire on my ass for the rest of the school year."
He looked down at me and smiled "Don't worry about her, as long as I'm around, she isn't gonna mess with ya."
"And who said that I want ya around?" I spat. I was beyond pissed. First this guy comes out of nowhere and starts talking to me, potentially setting me up to get killed by my father for even thinking about him and then he provokes the one bitch in school who goes out of her way anyway to push me into lockers.
His eyes widened and he threw his hands up in defense "Whoa, I didn't mean any harm. I was just having a bit of fun." I rolled my eyes and started walking faster; he easily caught up to me "Look, can I make it up to ya?"
"And how are ya going to do that?" I asked curiously.
"Well…maybe I could come over and help ya study or somethin?" he smiled and my knees almost collapsed.
"Uhm…no…I'm not allowed to have people over." I swallowed and started walking away.
"Well…we could meet at the library?" he pressed and I stopped staring at him.
"Look, I can't. Thanks for the offer, but you don't understand…I can't hang out." I huffed frusterated.
His eyes narrowed and he grabbed my wrist. I flinched subconsciously and he softened his touch, gently pulling it toward him, he slowly lifted up the sleeve and I sucked in a breath. Small yellow and purple splotches covered my arms from my shoulder to my forearm. I glanced up at him hesitantly; his eyes were unreadable as he examined my arm. "Did he do this?" he whispered. I nodded and gently took my arm out of his grasp. "Harleen…I"
I didn't stick around to hear the rest. I pulled my book bag tight and I took off toward the jail cell that I called home.