Prologue – In minds we bloom.
It began with an idea.
A little idea gnawing away at the back of my mind, itching.
What if I didn't have to endure this life any longer?
No more fake smiles, cries for attention or drunken nights of abandonment. Maybe I could-
It was just an idea.
But then it grew and grew, manifesting its way inside my mind, growing like ivy along my nerves; making my fingers twitch.
The alcohol became it's water and, as I drenched my sorrows and became weaker, it grew stronger. I couldn't contain it any longer so I...let it grow. Let it take hold, went down without much of a fight. Please don't think I'm weak.
You told me to stop drinking, we fought about it even. But it wasn't as easy as that. I tried, I really did. I made you cry with worry and while you didn't mean it to, it just made things worse.
I never regretted falling in love with you, God how could I, but suddenly I felt like I had to make it end not just for me but for you. I knew you were falling for me but I also knew that you deserved better. I couldn't deny that I was a lost cause and...I didn't want to take you down with me.
God this is so hard for me to write...
What I'm trying to say is Thank You. You helped me so much and I'll forever be in your debt. You helped me through these last few months more than I ever could of dreamt and I mean it when I say these have been the best few months of my life.
I want you to remember me as we were on that night we had the picnic under the stars; happy. Even if inside my mind the ivy was still growing.
I want you to remember that this wasn't your fault, that the seed had been planted long before I had met you. However believe me when I tell you that you slowed it's growth more than I ever could of imagined.
I want you to remember that this was fate.
As a hero of mine once said, it's better to burn out than to fade away Bella.
All my love, Edward.