A/N: I have no idea where this came from, it was really late at night and I apologise for mistakes and grammar. It may be a oneshot or continue.
The BUS was completely silent save for the normal sounds of the engines running and the air outside whistling past the windows. All the occupants were either in bed, or flying the plane tired from a long week filled with Asgardian mythology and crazy freaks as Skye put it.
So no one noticed the engineer that sat on the floor of the hangar between the two cars.
No one noticed his head bent down, his knees pulled close to his chest and the silent tears that slide down his cheeks. The hangar was surprising cold compared to the rest of the plane, even the Lab was warmer than this. But the cold kept him awake, kept him away from the nightmares and memories that muddled his brain. Not even working on the bots had helped, nothing could distract his mind from the events that had unfolded from this week or the events that resurfaced from years ago.
"Are you gonna take them on? Keep us safe? Or am I gonna have save Simmons… again."
The look in Ward's eyes when saying it. Simmons hesitation to comeback with something. Skye's quick agreement. They were shocked, they were trying to mask their own thoughts, their thoughts about him. After all he was just Fitz. Just Fitz, a weak pathetic man who couldn't save his best friend, who stands behind everyone. The person who designs the weapons for a fight but never takes part.
"You're useless you know that! Do any of these toys actually work? Will any of them protect you?"
Apparently not.
"You're worthless"
"You're the runt of the litter Leo, never expect to come out on top"
"You'll always be one step behind everyone else, brother, and don't even try to take one step ahead because you'll fail every single time"
He'd been put down his entire life, he could never reach the potential any of his siblings could. So what if he graduated high school aged 14 and got a PhD by 18? His brother got a wrestling scholarship. Who cares if he moved away from home aged 18 to complete his second PhD? His sister already moved to America on a music scholarship. He works for a top secret government agency and can't tell them what he does? That's okay his oldest brother protects the President of the United States of America as the head of his Secret Service detail.
Nothing he ever did was good enough for anyone.
"Why are you bothering to try? You'll never be like Tony Stark"
No, he wouldn't be like Tony Stark. He wanted to be appreciated for being Leo Fitz. But apparently Leo Fitz wasn't good enough for anybody.
Being Leo Fitz wasn't enough for his best friend.
"I don't know why she hangs out with you little bro, she's hot, you're not, plus she'll probably forget you as soon as you leave your little Lab and meet a real man"
Apparently his brother was right. Simmons would leave him for someone bigger, stronger. She liked working with him, but when it came down to it Grant Ward was much more appealing that Leo Fitz.
Nice guys always finish last.
But Ward wasn't bad, he just told the truth. Leo Fitz was pathetic, he was a loser and no one wanted him here.
No one ever wanted him anywhere.
His hands scraped the cargo holds floors. The coldness seeped through his fingers and then combined with the cold hand wrapped around his heart. This was always going to happen, he was going to open his heart up to people. And they were going to crush it with their hands, rip it out and then shove it back in. The cold hand wrapped around his heart now, held a lock and key. No longer was he going to wear his heart of his sleeve.
He made gadgets, robots and occasionally a weapon. But that's all he was good for. Yes he was an excellent listener when needed but when he came up with his own ideas, someone would roll their eyes. Simmons barely talked to him anymore, she always talked to Skye. He no longer was needed in her life.
She had Ward, Skye, Coulson even May to keep her company.
She'd grown out of little Fitz, the ever childlike personality that he had. She'd grown out of him like one would grow out of a toy. He was the teddy bear that you have all your childhood, but you decide to leave at him when you move out. The childhood toy that holds many memories, but you'll never really go back to them.
Simmons had seen the wide world and her curiosity got the better of her, she wanted more. She wanted to explore.
But he didn't, he preferred the safe, nice Lab in a secluded building somewhere. With guards and no danger. He preferred clean, safe and none mobile. But like a lost puppy he had followed his partner to the ends of the earth. But that wasn't good enough, now she and many of the others expected him to become an agent. Someone who could protect, someone who could fight.
He could only do one thing. He could run, he could run fast and he could run for a long time. Being chased by his brothers and bullies at school gave him heaps of practice. He was the prey that bigger animals prayed on. He was the hunted.
His watch ticked over to 2am on the dot. He couldn't sleep here, people would notice. He stretched his legs out, moved his arms wincing at the red angry cuts across his palms and the burns along the side of his hand. Trust him to lose track of what he was doing and injure himself. His left hand was pretty much dead at the moment, he knew someone would notice eventually, Simmons would freak out. They should hurt, but the pain inside him dulled it, he no longer felt, he just lived.
He moved up the staircase and past Ward and Skye's bunk. Both doors were tightly sealed, a the little blue light blinking showing occupancy. He moved to open his door when the cockpit door opened and May emerged, her hands full with empty coffee mugs. She stopped when she saw him, and gave him one of her looks.
Fitz smiled weakly before entering his bunks, praying to whatever God was out there that she wouldn't mention he being up at 2am and looking like a mess to Coulson. Moving into his bunk he frowned at the teddy bear that sat on the desk, before shoving it into the cupboard. His hands protested at the movement, swearing softly he carefully grabbed his med kit from his wardrobe and fixed himself up.
No one wanted him here, they'd made that clear. He was a lability that was just going to get someone hurt or killed. He wasn't ready for the field. He wasn't ready for all this.
But Simmons was.
That was the problem. She wanted to explore the wide world and make new discoveries, make new friends. He followed her believing that he could too, he believed with all his heart that he could change from the scrawny little boy that he used to be, that he could be the hero in this story. But who was he kidding, he was just Fitz.
"You're the hero"
He wasn't a hero.
He was the teddy bear that was discarded under the bed, left at home when the owner goes exploring. He was the thing that people grew out of, the teddy that you loved when you were little, that kept you safe from the nightmares when you were at home. But home was the real place that was safe, the bear was never a real protector, the child like mind was the one that thought that. Thinking that a bear could save you from the monsters.
But in reality that bear can't save you from danger. That bear only fails, and when you realize, you discard him under your bed. Your mind searching for the new thing to protect you.
In this case he was the bear.
And Ward was the new protector.
He needed to get out of here, away from the people that reminded him that he was a failure. He couldn't go to his family, he couldn't stay here. Before his mind fully registered what he was doing, he had sent an email to SHIELD requesting a transfer.
Anywhere but here it said
When a return email asked if Jemma Simmons would be joining him in the transfer, he answered with one word.
No.
It was time to start anew. Away from Ward, Skye, May, Coulson and Simmons.
The teddy bear running away before he was totally forgotten under the bed.