Chapter 1: And now that it's over…

I was staring in what I believed to be the general direction of my history teacher, drumming my fingers against the wood of my desk. The teacher was a very easily excitable type, forgetting all about his students as he heatedly bellowed out patronizing stories about past heroes, which usually ended up becoming patronizing stories about the 'modern hero'. Actually, it was becoming somewhat of a trend these days to mention Mr. Satan at every possible moment; after all, the man had saved us from… from, no one was actually sure. Well, he had saved the world from Cell and… something else.

This was also the case today. Mr. Malmana was too occupied with his tale of a chance meeting with Videl's father (in which my teachers relationship with the world champion seemed to grow more intimate with each telling) that he didn't seem to notice that his students had already started active conversations amongst themselves. And he most definitely didn't see the faraway look that was sure to be in my own eyes.

Mere days before, the world had been in danger. A pink blob with a not so nimble mind had been wreaking havoc, and everyone, including everything in this very classroom, had died. The earth had been reduced to nothing, and magically back again before turning even twice. Most importantly, though… Dad was back. But here I was, back in this classroom. Thanks to a wish and a certain seven dragonballs, no one remembered a thing. I couldn't help but feel like I was in a lucky dream. That by the time I got home, I would again find myself mourning over a grave without a body.

"Gohan-kun."

I was literally shaken out of my thoughts and when my eyes focused again, I was staring into worried violet eyes.

"Gohan-kun, are you okay?"

I felt rush of relief as I saw her standing there. Videl-san…Videl-san had been present at the great event, she remembered, didn't she?

"Oh Videl-san. Yeah, I'm fine, it's just…" I paused to grip my fists against the coarse dark wood of the desk to reassure myself once more that, yeah, I was really here. I heard Videl-san giggle in understanding as she saw this little movement.

"Hard to believe that all of this…" Videl-san waved her hand in one big circle towards the bustling classroom, "wasn't here last week huh?"

She gave me a reassuring toothy grin.

"Yeah, that's it." I looked up at her sheepishly from my seat. "It's all a bit scary, ne?"

I pushed my hand through my short hair once before returning her grin.

"Oh, stop being such a girl Gohan!" Videl-san laughed slapping her warm hand on my back. "You got me worried, though. You sat straight through three classes and didn't even get up during recesses. It's already time to go, you know."

Startled by her words, I finally noticed that everyone was packing their bags. It was time to go home. Home. I almost shuddered as my stomach made a dramatic plunge. I would be going home to dad… if he really was there. My legs moved on their own accord and with a great push against the tile floor, I was out the window and already a couple kilometers away from the school before my classmates' screams even reached the corridors.

When the peaks of Mt. Paozu finally came into view, I stopped the uniform flow of ki that was keeping me off the ground, performing a flip before landing deftly on a tree branch. I made my way toward our house on foot. I mean, I wanted to see my dad as quickly as possible, but a part of me was keeping me back. For example, the pause I took to slam my head onto a helpless tree in order to rid myself of the obnoxious chicken balking sounds ringing in my ears.

Seven years. My father had been dead for seven years, his body somewhere in vastness of the other world. None of us (me nor my mother) had the nerve to make a decent grave for our fallen hero. Perhaps somewhere in the back of our minds, we just wanted to pretend that he wasn't dead. We didn't have to live through the rest of our lives to see him again; no, he'd just pop back from his training trip that simply had happened to last longer than his others. He'd be rubbing his rumbling stomach asking for food; he'd done it before, he could do it again.

Of course none of us actually really believed any of this, but it was all we could to get by at the time.

After the whole 'Buu fiasco' was over… and I was glad that Buu revived when he did. For this thought, I even failed to feel the least bit of guilt. If Buu hadn't come then, Dad would have just come to this world for that day of fighting only to leave the next.

I wasn't sure if I could stand to lose him again.

The first few days I couldn't bear to leave his side. I was afraid that by the time I turned back around, he wouldn't be there anymore. Luckily mom was more than happy to keep me at home. (I don't think she liked the idea of letting any her men out of her sight after she had barely gotten them back from the clutches of death.) So I spent my days stuck to my father's side like my life depended on it. It might as well have.

I woke up at the same obscenely early hour as he did, followed him as he searched the forest for the perfect tree, and even helped in making it into fire wood. (Though it probably would have taken less time if he'd just done it all himself.)

I went through familiar katas with him. I thrilled in the excited boyish grins he flashed me during our spars and was careful to watch his every move, more to make sure I could drink in as much of him as possible than for defense – inwardly thanking the elder kai for powering me up enough to keep Dad's heart racing. I ate just a little more than my fill to stay at the table as long as he did. I even sat through Vegeta's almost-daily visits (though… I wasn't too glad that the other man seemed to have missed dad as much as the rest of us.)

And, as I noted every move, I marveled at how the man just never changed. Not even death could meddle with his bright, innocent personality. Even the little antics he had since as far as I could remember (and probably even before I was born) were all still there: the way he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, how he scrunched his eyebrows together in a way you could almost imagine his lost tail twitch in confusion, and the big goofy grins… They were just the way they had been when I was a toddler in his arms. The most amazing part was the rumbling quality of his voice that sent ecstatic tingles throughout my entire body, overwhelming me with so many feelings, just like it had when I was younger, before I could understand even half of them.

But I understood soon enough. Maybe too soon.

It was a few days after that that I finally told mom I wanted to go back to school. Rain had been keeping Dad indoors the whole day, and I was enjoying the view of Goten excitedly playing with the father he had never had. My face was almost split in two by my enormous smile at the sight of the two facing each other with the same face, both as much a child as the other. I was busy musing at the thought of how having two Son Gokus would probably do the world a great deal of good… then recanted for the sake of my sanity.

It was after the moon had found its place high in the sky that Goten finally admitted that he might be a 'teensy bit' sleepy and resigned to our shared bedroom. Though he insisted between yawns that he would be back soon, all of us knew the next time we saw him up would be at the breakfast table. So there I was, left with both of my parents in our scarcely adorned living room. My mother had replaced Goten's seat closet to dad. A throne she'd rightfully earned, I realized.

My mother paused from her knitting to lean into Dad's shoulder, surprising me. She had never before shown such obvious signs of affection when anybody was around. Almost habitually, I followed dad's hand as it moved to press my mother's head tenderly to his chest. My heart clenched as I watched the muscles on his strong hand twitch in the effort to be as gentle as possible. I watched his eyebrow furrow in nervous concentration, as if he was still unsure how to handle my mother. I could practically feel his need to keep her as safe as possible, rolling off him in waves. The clumsiness in his actions was that of a man still intoxicated by his first love. Married for almost twenty years and he was still handling his wife like she was the most mysterious treasure in the world. I felt blood trickle down my chin as my teeth ripped through my lower lip.

Attacked with mixed feelings, I felt stranded inside this 'loving family' atmosphere, like the single blotch of the wrong color smeared in the middle of the canvas that ruined an otherwise perfect picture. Ugly thoughts came bubbling up from my insides – I could almost feel the veins in my eyes stand as I gazed longing at the slight bob of my dad's Adam's apple as he let out a slow, shaky but content sigh as my mother burrowed further into his chest, taking his unoccupied hand into both of her smaller ones. The way their bodies fit so perfectly together, how their breaths had evened out to a synchronized rhythm, how happy they seemed to be just to be there together…

I scared myself with my own selfish need to possess something that so obviously wasn't mine.

The next moment I found myself all but ripping my mother off Dad's side. The both of them were looking at me through wide eyes.

"Gohan?"

My mother was the first to speak. I realized that my hands were gripping her shoulders, hard. Much harder then I ever should. Loosening my grip, I slowly looked toward my confused father. He seemed almost dazed from the sudden loss of warmth.

Again I found myself gritting my teeth. Staring into my father's deep obsidian eyes, I fought a losing battle in suppressing the urge to claim his slack lips. I was so close when I felt warm gentle fingers pull my chin back to face my mother.

"Gohan-chan…" I cringed at the worry that weighed my mother's voice as she wiped away the blood from my ripped lip. "Does it hurt?"

She took one of my hands off her probably bruised shoulders and I felt a wave of guilt hit me. Despite all the bloody thoughts that had flowed through me about the same woman that was looking at my tattered lip as if it was hurting her more… I knew with my whole being that I could never truly hate this woman, who had took what I wanted most before I was even born.

The softness of her fingers practically brought tears to my eyes. How could anyone hate someone who loved you so unconditionally? I felt dirty from the inside, wanted to break away from her hold before she was soiled by me…

"Mom, I think I'll start going back to school tomorrow."

"Why? Didn't you say you wanted a break? It's only been a few days since…" My mother looked frantic and I only knew too well the uneasiness she felt about not having a loved one at her side.

"I'm going to get awfully behind in my studies if I don't." Purposely choosing the familiar words, I immediately regretted it when I saw the guilty look in my mother's eyes.

"It's okay Gohan-chan, you've done great just with home-schooling, surely…"

"No mom, it's just that I want to check up on my friends and stuff too, you know?" I gave her what I hoped was reassuring smile.

She seemed to be at a loss of words. Obviously shaken, the small woman got to her feet and headed to the master bed room, leaving me alone with a certain Son Goku.

My dad gave my shoulder a strong squeeze. There was so much trust in the simple action, but it wasn't enough. I thought of the sheer difference from the tender touch he'd given my mother and, choking back a sob, I leant into his shoulder too, breathing in his scent.

" I love you dad." I whispered, almost hoping he understood.

"I love you too, son."

Heart contracting so much I thought it might burst, I let the man leave my side as he went to follow the woman he loved.

"No dad…" I whispered into the lonely air he left behind. "I love you."

The next day I watched through my eyelashes as my dad got up in the early morning to start his daily routines, only getting up after I was sure he was well on his way. I trudged down the stairs and stuffed things that I'm only half sure were all edible (they all felt tasteless in my dry mouth) before setting off to school.

And now, into the second day after returning to school, I was already a nervous wreck. Pathetic. As I finally neared my house, I braced myself, steeling my heart for whatever was waiting there. I was greeted by the sight of my father, in his normal orange gi, save the orange over shirt, drenched in sweat, reviewing kata after kata. I felt my mouth dry as a he released a particularly strong punch, the black weighted shirt he wore accentuating the sexy edges of his shoulder muscles, but I was immediately distracted by the flash of flesh revealing a thin waist as the man gave a quick turn.

Everything had been pushed aside during the fight with Buu. My Saiyan blood performed miracles in pushing even my greatest emotion aside to let the adrenalin of battle dominate my being completely. But now that everything was safe again and I wasn't throwing punch after punch at a seemingly unbeatable opponent, my hormones seemed to be having a raging fit somewhere down in my lower regions, screaming for attention.
I couldn't live with out my father, but I don't believe I could ever survive staying here with him without going completely insane. I needed my dad, in more ways than one.

AN: I thought it probably was about time I started showing my true colors, ^^;;; the colors of a yaoi fangirl who is displeased with this site's lack of Hanku(GohanXGoku). Keke. I hope you liked it and… remember to review! I'm a complete review whore and am flattered by any type of feedback.

Disclaimer: I think it's no secret that I have no ownership what so ever for the original DB(Z/GT) series