Okay, so… Um… This'll be a death-fic. You might already know who dies, having read the summary. So… I hope you've got your tissues ready! (grins)
Oh, and the DISCLAIMER: I still don't have any crazy ideas of owning anything from the series Beyblade. (wish I did, though) And sadly, I also don't own the song in this fic, which is "Unforgivable sinner" by Lene Marlin.
Okay, now that the boring part is over… Here's the fic! Hope it's readable! Oh, and when reading… I'm not sure if I should leave this as a one-shot or not, so… While reading, think if this could continue, or is it better off left ending the way it does. (I'm good at confusing sentences, huh?) Hope you'll like!
(And in case you're wondering, I've changed some minor things. In my version, Kai did teach Wyatt blading for some time – I'm not sure if he did in the real version. And it was Wyatt who told Kai to return to his team – the spark he got from the battle with Dunga wasn't enough. Hope you won't hate the changes.)
Unforgivable sinner
/ Kinda lose your sense of time
'Cause the days don't matter no more /
It had been four months.
Leaves were dancing around the place where Wyatt had fallen as Kai soundlessly made his way towards his destination, with nothing but sheer determination managing to keep himself from falling apart completely.
Images flashed before his eyes, sending unbearable shivers of anger, quilt and something so foreign that Kai couldn't find a name to it. That emotion made him feel like he'd been trapped, suffocating. Was it quilt? Or longing? Perhaps both? He was too confused to tell.
/ All the feelings that you hide
Gonna tear you up inside
You hope she knows you tried /
/ " Hey, you're Kai, right? Kai, from the Bladebreakers."
The voice brought Kai out of the trance he'd been in while unpacking the few belongings he'd brought along to the school. Slightly startled, he turned his gaze to meet a boy with brown hair and warm, chocolate-brown eyes that were shining with something he recognized as hope and excitement. Blinking, he nodded. " Yeah." He wasn't annoyed by the boy's presence. How very strange.
" I'm Wyatt Smithright", the other introduced himself and smiled brightly, blushing. " I… I'm a huge fan of yours."
For some reason that was way beyond him, Kai found himself returning the smile with just a small one. " Hn."
He kept unpacking, partially managing to forget the boy standing right behind him. That was, until he took out his blade. At first, Wyatt didn't say a thing – just stared at the blade with widened, astonished eyes – until there was this small, shy question. " Kai… I… I know this is a weird thing to ask, and… I probably shouldn't, but…" Was that another blush he saw? " I'm not exactly the… best blader around here, and… I've seen you in battles. So…" There was a nervous gulp. " I was thinking… if you could help me. Please?"
In any other occasion, Kai would've streamed out every single nasty comment he possibly had to offer – after all, he wasn't exactly the Yoda-like teacher-type. And he had every intention to retire as a blader anyway. But as he looked into Wyatt's eyes that shone with expectation, he found his glare – along with all resistance – melt. Slowly, he found himself giving a tiny, scarcely visible nod.
And from that day forward – whether he admitted it or not – nothing was the same for him. /
/ Follows you around all day
And you wake up soaking wet
'Cause between this world and eternity
There is a face you hope to see /
Kai was almost startled as he realized that he'd reached his destination. Blinking furiously, he pushed the steely, squeaking gate open with a trembling hand, entering.
Despite the fact that he'd never been there before, his feet knew the way well. And much sooner than he was ready for it, he was stood in front of a tombstone he would've never wanted to see.
His entire body started to shiver, and the tears burning his eyes were almost unbearable to hold back. Not really knowing what he was doing, he brushed the stone gently with his fingertips. " Gosh… I… I'm so sorry…"
Wyatt Ashton Smithright
23.6.1988 – 13.7.2002
A deeply loved, longed son and friend
May you now find peace with angels
As Kai stared at the words that slashed like thousand knives, his shivering becoming even more violent, for a second time in his life his courage almost failed him.
And once again, it was because of Wyatt.
/ You know where you've sent her
You sure know where you are
You're trying to ease off
But you know you won't get far
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
But you can't hear those words
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
Unforgivable Sinner /
/ Kai, sitting on the rooftop of his school with his eyes locked to the stars, was suddenly alarmed by the sensation that he was no longer alone. Eyes flashing, he quickly turned his gaze – and was taken by surprise upon seeing Wyatt approaching carefully.
It almost amused him. Did that kid think he'd bite him or something? " You do realize that I have no intention to harm you, right?"
Giving a small, shy smile, Wyatt slumped down next to him, also lifting his gaze up to the stars. For a long moment they remained silent.
Until suddenly, there was a quiet question. " Do you ever miss it?"
Mystified, he looked at the brunette. " Miss what?"" Blading. You know, the battles, your team, Dranzer…" The boy gazed at him, searching look in his eyes. " I could see the look in your eyes when you were blading with Dranzer – you always had this… fire. It made you so alive that it was breathtaking."
Kai frowned and looked away from the other, not liking being analyzed like this. " I still have it", he noted, for some incomprehensible reason unable to give one of the famous Kai Hiwatari's snaps and snarls he would've stroked anyone else with.
Wyatt shook his head, a small, sad smile on his lips. " No, you don't." He looked at the boy, mouth open to protest, but a stern shake of head silenced him. " You haven't lied to me a single time, so don't you dare start now." The flame that lit into the brunette's eyes almost startled him. " Blading is in your blood, Kai. It's… it's who you are. You can't live without it. You need it."
Feeling a strangest surge of heat and energy flow through him when feeling Wyatt's sudden passion, Kai found himself leaning closer to the other, heart beating furiously against his ribcage. Soon, he was so close that he could actually feel Wyatt's warm breath against his skin.
And then, at that moment, his courage failed him.
Abruptly backing away with a small, inaudible gasp, he shook his head vehemently. The look of disappointment, sorrow and defeat he saw in the brunette's eyes shattered his heart. " I don't need anything." And with those words, he was gone. /
/ You've been walking around in tears
No answers are there to get
You won't ever be the same
Someone cries and you're to blame /
Staring at the tombstone, Kai gave a bitter laughter, swallowing down tears. " You know what's ironic? I was wrong. The great, almighty Kai Hiwatari was actually wrong." He shook his head, eyes already growing watery. " I did need something. Still do. And it's the one thing I can no longer have." He gulped again, but it didn't manage to erase the melon-sized lump from his throat. " I just… I wish I would've told you… before you …" He trailed off, not baring the last word.
" Kai?"
Kai's eyes widened with fright and his heartbeat shot up. His poor heart almost lost its rhythm. That voice… just sounded so… familiar… " W – Wyatt?" a wheeze escaped through his lips.
There was a deep, miserable sigh. " Sorry, but… It's just me." Slowly peering over his shoulder, he found Tyson standing behind him, hands tightly in his pockets. " I knew you were here, and… got a little worried."
Eyes turning horrifyingly hollow as the hope was once more lost, Kai turned his gaze away again. " You shouldn't have", he murmured. " I just… I'm okay."
" Kai." Tyson's voice sounded anything but convinced. " Do you have any idea of for how long you've been sitting here?"
Kai blinked in surprise, then shook his head a little. To be honest, he really didn't have a clue. Not that he would've even cared.
" Five hours", the bluenette replied for him. " It's nine in the evening." He couldn't help catching the deep worry lazing the younger teen's voice. " Kai, you… you can't torture yourself this way! I know it's horrible, and unjust, but… None of this brings Wyatt back." Was that a sob? " Please, Kai… You can't disappear, too. I'm not letting you be that selfish." He could hear the other's temper start to boil. " Look at me, damnit!" For some mysterious reason really doing as ordered, he was taken aback when seeing tears rimming the boy's flaming eyes. He was terrified when finding those eyes cracking the shield he'd pulled up to protect himself. " Why the hell are you doing this to yourself? None of this is your fault!"
Those words shattered down the last of his barrier. Finding himself shivering uncontrollably again, he gave a small, wounded sound, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. Locks of hair thankfully fell to hide his face. " Yes, this is!" He didn't even notice he was roaring. " I killed him, Tyson! He's dead because of me!"
/ Struggling with a fight inside
Sorrow you'll defeat
The picture you see it won't disappear
Not unpleasant dreams or her voice you hear /
/ Packing up his belongings, Kai was taken by surprise as there was a sudden knock on his dorm-door. After a moment's hesitation, he walked up to open – and blinked in surprise. " Wyatt?" Knowing Wyatt all too well, he frowned. " What's wrong?"
The smaller boy gulped laboriously. " Kai, I… I don't want you to go." As the boy sucked in a breath of air, a loud wheeze was heard. " I… I can't…"
Deeply confused – which was a alien feeling to him – Kai gave a frown. " In case you've forgotten, you were the one who told me to leave in the first place."
Desperate look in his eyes, Wyatt shook his head. " I was an idiot. I… I thought…" His thoughts tangling, the boy shook his head, as though that would've cleared his head. " I don't know what I was thinking."
Kai didn't know if he should've been amused, worried or annoyed. " Wyatt… What the heck are you trying to say?"
As Wyatt looked into his eyes, he felt his entire soul shatter when seeing all hope and optimism die from the boy's face. " You just don't get it, do you?" Wyatt shook his head, visibly struggling against raging emotions. " I… I hope you'll find what you're looking for." And before there was another chance for words, he was gone.
Kai's whole body shivered as he slowly pulled the door closed. Having that done, he squeezed his stinging eyes closed, resting his forehead against the door.
The problem was, that he knew what Wyatt had been trying to say all too well. And he had no idea of what to do about it.
Cruelly, fate decided that he never had to make up his mind. /
/ You know where you've sent her
You sure know where you are
You're trying to ease off
But you know you won't get far
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
But you can't hear those words
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
Unforgivable Sinner /
Slashing, agonizing words that seemed to come from another world almost tore Kai apart." I was thinking… if you could help me. Please?"
" I… I couldn't protect him in the end, Tyson. He trusted me to do so…"
Every single muscle in his body tensed as he felt a hand landing onto his shoulder, burning his skin. " It isn't your duty to protect everyone."
His glazed, glimmering eyes, by then finally open, flashed with agony and self-hatred. " I should've protected the one I…!" The last word caught into his throat, and his eyes widened with such panic he'd never in his life felt before.
… love
No… It was just impossible… It… It couldn't be…
" I… I hope you'll find what you're looking for."
And it wasn't until at that unbearably painful, crystal-clear moment he realized that he had – and it was now lost.
The day he'd held Wyatt's body in his arms… the boy's life had literally slipped through his fingers.
Because of his idiotic stubbornness and stupidity.
At first, with Kai's entire body turning almost limp under his hand, Tyson was terrified that the older had lost consciousness because of all the strain and lack of sleep. But then, the Russian started to shiver all over, and this mournful, pained sound that came from Kai tore Tyson's soul. " K – Kai?" Not realizing what he was doing before he'd done it, he cupped Kai's cheek with his hand – and was almost terrified when seeing tears on the boy's snow-white cheeks. " Oh man… Kai…"
Both terror and a weird sensation of something hot he'd only felt with one person before flooded through Kai as Tyson's hand held him, burning more painfully than any flame. " Ty…" For a moment, he was at a loss of words. " Don't… touch me. Please." He was too confused… He just couldn't take this, not now, not yet…
Tyson's entire body turned icy as he complied, reluctantly moving his fingertips from the soft skin, gulping thickly. " Sorry… I just…"
He was, however, interrupted by Kai's shake of head. Once again, the boy's eyes found the tombstone. " Don't."
At that moment, when a tense, icy silence fell on them, Tyson almost broke down to tears. All those dreams he'd had since Kai had taken his hand by lake Baikal: hopes of having some kind of a connection with the untamed Russian, perhaps even…
But now… It was all lost. Because he realized that no matter what he did or said, he'd never have that space in Kai's heart that'd been spared for Wyatt, and Wyatt only.
And nothing had ever hurt more. Nothing could possibly hurt more.
That's why he turned around and practically ran away, not even trying to keep tears from falling to his cheeks.
Hearing Tyson's steps disappear, Kai bit his lip so roughly that a taste of blood filled his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut, determined not to shed another tear – ever again. " I'm so sorry…"
His whisper was never heard by anyone.
/ Maybe one time lost
But now you're found
Stand right up before
You hit the ground
Maybe one time lost
But now you're found
Stand right up before
You hit the ground - hit the ground /
Tyson didn't have a clue of for how long he'd been straying outside as he finally slipped into his room, legs so weak that they barely carried him. Nor did he register how horrifyingly cold he was – it was freezing outside.
Slumping onto his bed, tears escaping without him even noticing it, he glanced around the darkened room – and his heart immediately wrenched.
Everything… just everything… reminded him off…
The scent, the pictures… He could still feel him in his fingertips…
A sleepy voice cut through his tangled thoughts. " Dude, is that you?"
It took a lot to make his state of mind steady enough to allow words. " Y – yeah… I just… I took a little walk."
" It's past midnight!" The sound of his grandpa's was deeply annoyed. " Be grateful I didn't swing you with a kenjo-stick!"
He had to gulp down the lump in his throat. " I… I'm sorry."
There was a tired sigh, followed by a yawn. " Just don't ever show up this late again or you're seriously going to get your ass kicked, 'k?"
His tears glimmered in the pale moonlight as he sniffed quietly. " I won't."
" We'll talk in the morning. Now go to bed or I'll come and tuck you in."
Muttering something he didn't even register, he moved his gaze – and winced with soul-tearing agony as his eyes found one particular, framed picture.
On it, he was grinning widely while sitting under a tree, an arm wrapped tightly around deeply annoyed-looking Kai, who was trying to read a book and not even looking at the camera. But despite the look upon Kai's face, the mood was warm. And… Perhaps it was his imagination, but he could've sworn the older boy's hand had crawled towards him…
Giving this pained, frustrated cry, he bounced up from the bed, and before he even knew what he was doing, his hand had whiskered the picture onto a floor. The glass immediately shattered to hundreds of pieces.
Making another cry, he buried his face into his hands, feeling his heart beat so frantically that it almost fell apart.
He… he couldn't stay, not anymore… There was nothing left to stay for, not now when…
Almost like automatically, his desperate eyes found a suitcase, and a warm flood went through him.
Leaving…
Yes. He would take the coward's way out. He'd escape.
And there was no way he could ever come back.
/ You know where you've sent her
You sure know where you are
You're trying to ease off
But you know you won't get far
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
But you can't hear those words
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
Unforgivable Sinner /
Owari/TBC
A/N: (sniff) This tore my heart, too. (sniff, sniff) Was the story okay? I hated to kill Wyatt – annoying, perhaps, but he's also adorable.
Now… The choice is yours. Would you like this story to continue for some (less than ten) chapters, or is it better off left here? Let me know! Your wish is my command! (geez, that sounded… creepy)
In any case, thank you so much for reading! (HUGS) Don't forget to hit me with a review!
And in case this is to be my final fic… Be safe! I'll be watching over you! (not THAT way, you perverts!) (grins) And I WILL always be checking on my reviews (wink, wink)
After a death of friend's, Kai is sinking into his quilt. Will he take the hand that tries to pull him back to life? YAOI TyKa