"Ughh..."
He was alive, but barely.
For what seemed like an eternity, the man named Jesus Christ of Nazareth was hanging on a crucifix by orders of the Roman Empire.
"Ju..Judas.."
Judas had betrayed Jesus. The most terrible level of Hell was reserved for his kind, but Jesus still had sympathy for him.
"He knew not what he had done..."
How long had he been persecuted? Slandered, spat upon, and now left to die upon a giant cross.
"Why?"
He didn't know. Every man has his limits, but he was above anger.
"How could they..."
For his entire life Jesus had tried to teach the world. He healed the sick and fed the hungry, but where had that gotten them?"
"Ungrateful..."
He couldn't help thinking it, but nobody could blame him. He was soon going to give his life for a sick and corrupt people. People that would desecrate the Son of God.
"No more..."
He'd already made up his mind. Such a perverted and gross people must be purged.
"Who will do it?"
Nobody else, he thought.
"Fuck this..."
With a powerful thrust of one of his 26 inch python arms, Jesus shattered the arm of the cross.
"Those greedy..."
Another sudden movement and both of his arms became free, stakes still driven into his palms. Jesus fell to the ground with dust settling around him.
"Run."
Astonished onlookers could not bare to move, for what they had seen was nothing short of a miracle.
"Can't say I didn't warn you."
Jesus looked up and shot the crowd a penetrating glare, and his eyes began to glow. Without warning, a massive blast of nuclear energy erupted and decimated everything in its path. Women and men alike, along with the children that they brought with them, instantly obliterated. Nothing was left but blackened earth and a sulfuric stench that could curl hairs.
With a quick twirl, Jesus reappeared, clothed in a flowing and beautiful robe that draped down to his feet.
"Unclean..."
He had started walking back to the city when a pair of sunglasses came out of nowhere and rested on his face. Thinking that the pedestrian route would take longer than he could wait, Jesus' feet left the ground and he swiftly rode the wind in a graceful performance.
He came down again on a paved road. Fearful citizens gawked at him and whispered while Jesus took in his surroundings.
"Hey!"
One of the guardsmen stood a few yards behind and recognized him.
"You were crucified hours ago! How?"
The man was shaking heavly and had a bewildered look upon his face.
"Didn't anybody tell you? I'm the Son of God, bitch."
Jesus whirled around, wielding two gas powered assault rifles and two ammo belts around his robes.
"What are..."
But he wasn't able to finish the sentence. Every inch of his physical was torn apart by round after round of high caliber bullets. The noise was impossible to ignore and even more people looked for the source of the noise. With a grunt and a pull, Jesus aimed away from the blood pile where the guard had been and fired upon the whispering onlookers. Shot after shot rang and bodies started to quickly litter the road as the screams of the masses nearly overpowered the sounds of the rifles sending unrelenting death in every direction.
Time seemed to stand still as Jesus completely lost himself in the slaughter. Their cries and shrieks fell upon deaf ears.
"That should do it"
Jesus wheeled around and the rifles vanished. The corpses of every person on the road at the time nearly completely covered the ground. Among the dead was the insurrectionist, Barabbas, who was chosen by the people to be spared and Jesus to be crucified.
"Pilate."
Pilate was procurator and majorly responisble for Jesus' punishment for blasphemy.
Many men were gathered in a dinner hall, feasting and partaking in heavy gluttony, as was common for the more well privledged.
First there was a faint shake. Then a rumble. A catastrophic crash and the door to the hall blasted open. Two guards thrusted their spears at the man entering, but before they could hit their target their bodies exploded in a bloody mess of tendons and bone, splattering the walls and faces of men alike. Those seated at the table dared not stand or even speak, until the man at the head of the table hailed the attention of the room.
"What kind of trick is this? Wh... You... The King of the Jews..."
Pilate had recognized Jesus, but did not sit.
"What curses are you commanding?! Answer me!"
"SILENCE!"
Pilate flew back and landed in his chair forcefully, finding himself unable to find words to express himself.
"Yes, it is I, the savior of the people and prophet of God."
Jesus paced in front of the table, deep in thought.
"I had a lengthy speech planned, but I believe a concise death would serve better, yes?"
Before anybody could comprehend the events, Jesus flew across the table and knocked over the procurator. Spurts of blood shot high into the air at first, but later died down. Pilate's wife was the first to look upon the scene.
Perched upon Pilate's body like a vulture, Jesus would quickly devouring and slurping over the corpse, occasionally moaning in pleasure. The woman vomitted on herself and feinted and witnessing this. The others were still speechless, trying to convince themselves to act, but failing.
"Mmmmm, all done."
Jesus stood and looked upon the rest of the men when he heard the groans and cries of disgust.
"SWINE!"
Jesus removed his sunglasses and once again his eyes started to gain light and the sudden noise was almost as unexpected as anything that had happened. The entire city was leveled from the massive power of the explosion.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Unable, but perhaps unwilling, to stop himself, Christ rose in the air, bright light still destroying everything it fell opon. In a behemoth boom shook the earth for miles. The sound and the light grew as everything visible was covered in a blinding light. Even people on the other side of the planet could see a massive force approaching, though without the sound, for it was too slow to keep up.
Everything in the world vanished. The light kept building and building. It stopped for nothing. Eventually the blackness of space began to fall in around itself and implode. The entire Universe was coming down, and even the Divine Intervention couldn't stop the complete annilation of every molecule in the cosmos.
"