After the storm
Summery- It begins with the day Peeta plants Primroses at Katniss's door, and Katniss shuts the door on his face. How can they heal their broken hearts when Katniss is half-mad, drowning into the sea of depression and Peeta is fighting his own flashbacks? What are the events that lead to the epilogue? Hear the story of their new struggle in Peeta's POV.
Day one - Nothing to remember
Karrr, garrr…
The harsh scratching sound that the wheels are making over the iron plates never seems so sad like before- like a sad song, like a cry. Trains always bring pleasure to me because they mean home, seeing the beloved faces once again. It means those nights, it means a pair of warm arms around me, and it means the lost dreams, a faint ray of hope of living in the sea of death.
It means her.
My fingers curl in a tight ball with the thought of her name; those horrible clouds begin covering my mind. "No, I can't lose again"- I remember. "It's not her who did those, it is Capitol, it is Snow." But now the revolution is over, Capitol is not controlling the districts anymore. There are no Hunger games anymore, we are free again.
Then why I feel so sad?
"Mr. Mellerk, it is the last stoppage." The lines of my thoughts are broken with the cabin boy's voice. For the first time in the last six months I was allowed to travel alone. Thanks to Dr. Aurelius, who decided to clear me at last. He asked me about the next plan. All the rebels were welcomed to the districts they had chosen. I could have a sea-side home in four or a tiny log house under the mountain in two or even could have a beautiful bakery in Capitol like all other rebels had. Every district was chosen, but no one chose twelve. Who would choose a graveyard for living?
But I chose.
It isn't the best choice, I know. I know many of the things those can still trigger my flashback are still here- the ash, the dead and Katniss.
I make my way through the train door and step into the platform from where I've first started my journey. That station. My boots make a perfect print over the thick layers of dust. My eyes train the once white columns that are blackened by the horrible bomb. Many and many faces flash into my mind, some teary eyes, some weeping faces, I can't remember. My head gives a slight spin and I stumble forward. I quickly catch a nearby pillar to clam myself down, the memories are not yet gone yet, those horrible memories. And they never will. They have made a permanent print inside my brain; I can't erase them as much as I try.
Suddenly the station turns into a prison that I can't even breathe. I gasp for air; I know if I stay here for another moment, my inner demons will engulf me again. I've to get out from here, right now.
I step out of the ghostly station and for the first time since the quarter quell, I stand under the sky of twelve, the sky I know always. The familiar air of twelve brushes against my cheeks and I inhale deeply. But it isn't the air I know- laden with the smoky fragrance of coal mines. Rather than it smells like ash, like grief, like death. I open my eyes only to find myself standing in the ankle deep pile of ashes. As I take another step forward, something struck my boot and rolls away- slightly grey, slight brown, slightly unusual in shape. Sure it is not a stone. Curiously I bent down and pick that up. As soon as my eyes train the reality I'm holding in my hand, a chill runs down through my spin.
A skull! Its hollow eyes with a mocking grin are looking straight back at me, as if reminding me of the horrible truth. Go away; there is no place for livings. My hand trembles, dropping the skull on the ash covered ground. I cover my face with my hands and begin walking from the haunted place. No it can't be true, it can't be. But it is true. The ruins of the houses, the brunt skeletons of the trees around me, the bones scattered around me remind me the reality. I decide not to stop until I can find another living being here.
But I have to stop. The wind swirls around me; the ash covers my tangled hair spreading a fine layer over my boots. My eyes catch the familiar signboard of Mellerk's Bakery but only to find a few crumbled pieces of blackened steel remnants. It seems very unusual- the always crowded Mellerks bakery is now nothing but a huge pile of rubbles, broken glasses and crumbled steels. Ash covered the counter inside in several layers. I know if I search there, I may find the skulls and the bones of my brothers, my father, and my family. A tear is threatened to drop. For the last six months I tried to remember their faces, but I can't. My father's warm blue eyes, my brother's horrible jokes never flash inside my mind. I slowly walk near the ruins, carefully avoiding the sharp ends of the glasses. I place one hand over the broken window; it leaves a perfect print over the pile of ashes. Everything is broken; spiders are residing in the every corner of the deserted bakery. I close my eyes, and try to remember those faces I loved.
Nothing clicks inside my head; my mind remains as white as before. There is nothing to remember. A sigh rips my throat as I open my eyes. There is nothing living here except one.
Unknowingly my eyes catch the solitary figure with the single braid passing by. A pair of squirrel hanging over her right shoulder with a bow over the left one, I know whom I'm seeing.
Katniss.
She is wearing her father's black hunting jacket, like the way I met her years ago. She is still the hunter but lost looks in her eyes differs the lonely girl from the one from the games. Thin, scared, burnt, crazy both of us, we match.
The inner demons have begun muttering inside me from the moment I saw her. It is still provoking me to wrap my fingers around her delicate neck, take the revenge of the death of my family. I know it is will come. The clouds are covering my brain. My hand makes a tight fist, I lean against the wall beside me. How much I want to run near her, talk with her right now, but I can't. I grit my teeth until she is gone.
When she is gone, I run out of the bakery, wrapping my arms tightly around myself. I know I can't stay away from her for long, but how can I face her when my inner demons keep driving me crazy in this way? I keep running until I reach the end of the district, cross the once electrified fence and drag myself deep into the woods. I never liked jungles, but for the first time it feels like a perfect place for the beast like me.
I don't know how long I stay there sitting under a tree, wrapping my arms around my knees, fighting the flashbacks. As the dying ray of the sun touches my cheeks lightly, I become able to look around myself properly. The part of jungle is shady with big trees and a few bushes growing here and there. I can't name all of them but surely I can name a certain one- the Primrose.
Something weird happens inside me as I look at the small flowering bushes. Among all the burnt ruins it looks strangely alive. I've seen the namesake burning right before my eyes. But these bushes seem more like her, smiling, vivid. I dig them up, gather them in my arms gently like a baby and begin walking towards her home.
I know it is a very wrong idea. She can still trigger the flashbacks.
Still I take this challenge, like a new game.
Let the game begin.
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There are many stories about the same theme, but here is my version. Forgive me for all the errors and lack of fluency (English isn't my first language). Still I love responses from you. They will inspire me to write more.
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