Hmm... While skimming through the titles of various fanfic this idea hit
me.... Literally.... My brother threw my One Ring bookmark at me..... So,
after punishing him severely for defiling my precious(tickle torture is so
effective!), I sit down to write this. Slight AU in the LOTR universe, OOC,
and amusingness... Did I mention this is a crossover? ^_^ DM/HG pairing.
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~Hermione POV~
I was immersed in my latest venture, reading my well-worn copy of Lord of the Rings. Well worn because it had been passed down from my father. I had only read it four times. The three volumes in one book made for a rather boring, intellectual appearance. I, however, with my certain fondness for long books and classic literature, found that the thick novel was one of my favorites. Fantasy epics, traveling with Hobbits, Elves and Dwarves, all of that appealed to me. It was a nice break from the solid facts and figures I so often surrounded myself by.
The-Where was I? Oh, yes. Well, I was reading in the library, my sanctuary, my escape, my-Oh! Back on track, yes, of course... See, it seemed that I had a stalker. I swear, Draco Malfoy had been everywhere I was for the past month. Including my sanctuary. Standing in the next isle, 'pondering' the next great work of literature he would read. I shifted in my chair so as to keep an eye on him. He was up to something, I know.
With a heavy sigh I set my book down, slipping a Legolas bookmark in between the pages I was reading. I stood, shaking off the stiffness of being curled up in the soft, overstuffed chair for an hour. I glanced across the library to the water fountain. Temporarily forgetting my book, I left to quench my parched throat. As I leaned down to sip the cool water spouting from the mouth of the gargoyle, a vague sensation on eyes watching me invaded my mind. I whirled around, and on seeing noone, I took a long drink. When I returned to my chair, I paused.
Something was off. Maybe I was being paranoid, but I felt uneasy. Taking out my wand, I skimmed my mind for magic detection spells. A simple one to reveal all enchanted items in the vicinity. Useful little thing.
"Aperio!" I muttered. I heard a faint buzzing noise, and objects all over started to glow faintly. The water fountain, a few of the books on the shelves, the jar of No-Cheat Quills that the librarian lent out, nothing abnormal. Then I looked down. My own copy of Lord of the Rings was glowing. I frowned. Someone enchanted it while I was getting a drink, apparently. I looked up. I met a pair of grey eyes.
"EEP!"
"Quiet, Granger. This is a Library, isn't it?" Malfoy admonished, picking up my book. "Lord of the Rings? A book about ruling over jewelry?"
"It's one of the greatest fantasy novels of this century! Of all time, some might argue. And a very good film epic, as well." I made a grab at the book, but it was held high out of my reach.
"Tsk, tsk. Granger? Indulging in anything less than ancient Arithmancy tomes? What has this world come to?" Malfoy mocked, flipping through the pages. "Frodo? Legolas? GIMLI? What kinds of names are these? Sauron? Sauron sounds like an evil overlord to me."
"He is an evil overlord! He's just operating through a lesser Istari, Saruman. And Frodo is trying to take an evil Ring to a volcano to throw it in." I explained in a huff.
"If you know the story why do you bother to read it?" Malfoy was now dangling the book just inches from my grasp.
"Because!" I jumped, apparently catching Draco off guard. I managed to grab the book, but the moment I did a pulling sensation tugged just behind my bellybutton.
"Crap!" I screamed over the whirlwind of color and sound.
We landed in a forest. A dense, dark forest. Full of dark whisperings and foreboding feelings. A very, very scary forest, in 5 words of less.
"Malfoy! What did you do?!"
"I turned your ridiculous book into a portkey, duh."
"How did you specify it to transport when a specific person touched it?" My curiosity got the better of me, and I had to ask.
"Simple." Draco said. I stared at him. "What, you think I'm going to tell you?" He sneered. "You shouldn't have jumped. Now I'm stuck here with you. I was going to give you your book, just after I had let go."
"Brilliant, Malfoy. Where are we?" I began looking around nervously. The oppressive darkness was getting to me.
"Somewhere in your book, apparently. I didn't specify where or when. It'll be sometime either during or after the story, and someplace in that world" Malfoy shrugged.
"What?! You-you-you--ORC!"
"What's an orc?"
"Not you! HIM!" I screeched, turning to run but tripping. I scrambled backwards over the dead leaves on the forest floor, desperately trying to get away from the hideous creature that stood behind Malfoy. Malfoy looked utterly confused until he felt, on the back of his neck, the hot, rancid breath of the mutilated horror. He turned to face it, and let out a surprised yelp. He, too, stumbled backwards.
Several orcs, in battle armor, stood at the other side of the clearing. Low, guttural growls erupted from them, almost like a twisted choir for a horror movie. It was quite obvious they were hungry. And it was quite obvious that we were the only things around they would eat. For some wild, utterly off-the-wall reason, I don't think Orcs are vegetarians.
The troupe was advancing on us, apparently trying to draw out our fear. Maybe it made us taste better? Suddenly the head orc lunged for me. I screamed and tried to run, but my feet tangled in the undergrowth of vines and I fell again. It didn't really matter, however, because the Orc fell at my feet, an arrow head protruding from the back of the neck. It had gone all the way through.
I covered my mouth, both to protect me from the stench and to prevent me from retching, as several more arrows shot out of the darkness behind us, each finding a mark and effectively killing their targets. Malfoy, beside me, was stunned, but not repulsed or horrified. No surprise there, the son- of-a-Deatheater probably had seen worse...
Four people emerged from the foliage behind us. I jumped and stumbled over carcasses to the other side of the clearing again.
But.... These were definitely not normal people! Their skin seemed to glow almost, and they were tall and graceful. Three carried bows and had quivers of arrows on their backs. One seemed normal enough. In his forties, I assumed, he looked used to being in the wild. He had a long broadsword drawn. They radiated a serious 'good guy' vibe, but then again Divination and Aura reading was definitely not my area of expertise.
"[Who are you and what are you doing in Mirkwood?]" They spoke in a gentle, lilting tongue, but it was a commanding tone they used. I did not, needless to say, recognize the language.
"[They are Humans, Elladen, they not speak Elvish.]" Another said.
"[I am offended, my dearest brother!]" The man with the sword said, sheathing the blade and coming across the clearing. He offered me a hand.
"Are you alright?" He asked. I backed away slightly, distrustful, despite the obvious kindness these strangers displayed.
"I'm fine. Thank you." I stood up on my own, leaning up against a tree trunk. The man got the message and backed off. I picked my way over the dead orcs to my book, which was miraculously un-spoilt. I tucked it into the pack that had been on my shoulder since we entered this world. I suddenly remembered Malfoy, who was now leaning nonchalantly against a tree, dusting off his robes and smirking. I glared at him.
"Where do you hail from?" One of the other men asked me.
"Hogwarts." I said simply, too stunned to think properly.
The four glanced at each other. One of the men stepped forward. His skin had a luminous quality, like three of the other men, but his hair was a fair blonde, which contrasted with the dark hair of the other three, and was long, unlike the first man's. To say he was fair would be an understatement. Perhaps it was just me, but he was beautiful beyond measure of me-Oh dear. I'm quoting no-
"CRAP!" I screamed, startling all five males in the clearing. Males was a more correct term, because the stunning realization hit me.
IN Lord of the Rings. IN it. Somewhere. Mirkwood. The three gorgeous ones were elves. Elves! 'Hear that, Mr. Frodo! We're goin' to see the Elves!' I mentally quoted.
"Milady, are you alright?" The blonde elf asked. I nodded weakly.
"Milady, My name is Legolas Greenleaf, I am Prince of the land you apparently have unwittingly stumbled into."
At this point I flat out fainted.
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Please R+R! [ and ] denotes Elvish, both Sindarian and Quenyan. Flames will be laughed at hysterically, then used to melt chocolate for chocolate covered pretzels.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Hermione POV~
I was immersed in my latest venture, reading my well-worn copy of Lord of the Rings. Well worn because it had been passed down from my father. I had only read it four times. The three volumes in one book made for a rather boring, intellectual appearance. I, however, with my certain fondness for long books and classic literature, found that the thick novel was one of my favorites. Fantasy epics, traveling with Hobbits, Elves and Dwarves, all of that appealed to me. It was a nice break from the solid facts and figures I so often surrounded myself by.
The-Where was I? Oh, yes. Well, I was reading in the library, my sanctuary, my escape, my-Oh! Back on track, yes, of course... See, it seemed that I had a stalker. I swear, Draco Malfoy had been everywhere I was for the past month. Including my sanctuary. Standing in the next isle, 'pondering' the next great work of literature he would read. I shifted in my chair so as to keep an eye on him. He was up to something, I know.
With a heavy sigh I set my book down, slipping a Legolas bookmark in between the pages I was reading. I stood, shaking off the stiffness of being curled up in the soft, overstuffed chair for an hour. I glanced across the library to the water fountain. Temporarily forgetting my book, I left to quench my parched throat. As I leaned down to sip the cool water spouting from the mouth of the gargoyle, a vague sensation on eyes watching me invaded my mind. I whirled around, and on seeing noone, I took a long drink. When I returned to my chair, I paused.
Something was off. Maybe I was being paranoid, but I felt uneasy. Taking out my wand, I skimmed my mind for magic detection spells. A simple one to reveal all enchanted items in the vicinity. Useful little thing.
"Aperio!" I muttered. I heard a faint buzzing noise, and objects all over started to glow faintly. The water fountain, a few of the books on the shelves, the jar of No-Cheat Quills that the librarian lent out, nothing abnormal. Then I looked down. My own copy of Lord of the Rings was glowing. I frowned. Someone enchanted it while I was getting a drink, apparently. I looked up. I met a pair of grey eyes.
"EEP!"
"Quiet, Granger. This is a Library, isn't it?" Malfoy admonished, picking up my book. "Lord of the Rings? A book about ruling over jewelry?"
"It's one of the greatest fantasy novels of this century! Of all time, some might argue. And a very good film epic, as well." I made a grab at the book, but it was held high out of my reach.
"Tsk, tsk. Granger? Indulging in anything less than ancient Arithmancy tomes? What has this world come to?" Malfoy mocked, flipping through the pages. "Frodo? Legolas? GIMLI? What kinds of names are these? Sauron? Sauron sounds like an evil overlord to me."
"He is an evil overlord! He's just operating through a lesser Istari, Saruman. And Frodo is trying to take an evil Ring to a volcano to throw it in." I explained in a huff.
"If you know the story why do you bother to read it?" Malfoy was now dangling the book just inches from my grasp.
"Because!" I jumped, apparently catching Draco off guard. I managed to grab the book, but the moment I did a pulling sensation tugged just behind my bellybutton.
"Crap!" I screamed over the whirlwind of color and sound.
We landed in a forest. A dense, dark forest. Full of dark whisperings and foreboding feelings. A very, very scary forest, in 5 words of less.
"Malfoy! What did you do?!"
"I turned your ridiculous book into a portkey, duh."
"How did you specify it to transport when a specific person touched it?" My curiosity got the better of me, and I had to ask.
"Simple." Draco said. I stared at him. "What, you think I'm going to tell you?" He sneered. "You shouldn't have jumped. Now I'm stuck here with you. I was going to give you your book, just after I had let go."
"Brilliant, Malfoy. Where are we?" I began looking around nervously. The oppressive darkness was getting to me.
"Somewhere in your book, apparently. I didn't specify where or when. It'll be sometime either during or after the story, and someplace in that world" Malfoy shrugged.
"What?! You-you-you--ORC!"
"What's an orc?"
"Not you! HIM!" I screeched, turning to run but tripping. I scrambled backwards over the dead leaves on the forest floor, desperately trying to get away from the hideous creature that stood behind Malfoy. Malfoy looked utterly confused until he felt, on the back of his neck, the hot, rancid breath of the mutilated horror. He turned to face it, and let out a surprised yelp. He, too, stumbled backwards.
Several orcs, in battle armor, stood at the other side of the clearing. Low, guttural growls erupted from them, almost like a twisted choir for a horror movie. It was quite obvious they were hungry. And it was quite obvious that we were the only things around they would eat. For some wild, utterly off-the-wall reason, I don't think Orcs are vegetarians.
The troupe was advancing on us, apparently trying to draw out our fear. Maybe it made us taste better? Suddenly the head orc lunged for me. I screamed and tried to run, but my feet tangled in the undergrowth of vines and I fell again. It didn't really matter, however, because the Orc fell at my feet, an arrow head protruding from the back of the neck. It had gone all the way through.
I covered my mouth, both to protect me from the stench and to prevent me from retching, as several more arrows shot out of the darkness behind us, each finding a mark and effectively killing their targets. Malfoy, beside me, was stunned, but not repulsed or horrified. No surprise there, the son- of-a-Deatheater probably had seen worse...
Four people emerged from the foliage behind us. I jumped and stumbled over carcasses to the other side of the clearing again.
But.... These were definitely not normal people! Their skin seemed to glow almost, and they were tall and graceful. Three carried bows and had quivers of arrows on their backs. One seemed normal enough. In his forties, I assumed, he looked used to being in the wild. He had a long broadsword drawn. They radiated a serious 'good guy' vibe, but then again Divination and Aura reading was definitely not my area of expertise.
"[Who are you and what are you doing in Mirkwood?]" They spoke in a gentle, lilting tongue, but it was a commanding tone they used. I did not, needless to say, recognize the language.
"[They are Humans, Elladen, they not speak Elvish.]" Another said.
"[I am offended, my dearest brother!]" The man with the sword said, sheathing the blade and coming across the clearing. He offered me a hand.
"Are you alright?" He asked. I backed away slightly, distrustful, despite the obvious kindness these strangers displayed.
"I'm fine. Thank you." I stood up on my own, leaning up against a tree trunk. The man got the message and backed off. I picked my way over the dead orcs to my book, which was miraculously un-spoilt. I tucked it into the pack that had been on my shoulder since we entered this world. I suddenly remembered Malfoy, who was now leaning nonchalantly against a tree, dusting off his robes and smirking. I glared at him.
"Where do you hail from?" One of the other men asked me.
"Hogwarts." I said simply, too stunned to think properly.
The four glanced at each other. One of the men stepped forward. His skin had a luminous quality, like three of the other men, but his hair was a fair blonde, which contrasted with the dark hair of the other three, and was long, unlike the first man's. To say he was fair would be an understatement. Perhaps it was just me, but he was beautiful beyond measure of me-Oh dear. I'm quoting no-
"CRAP!" I screamed, startling all five males in the clearing. Males was a more correct term, because the stunning realization hit me.
IN Lord of the Rings. IN it. Somewhere. Mirkwood. The three gorgeous ones were elves. Elves! 'Hear that, Mr. Frodo! We're goin' to see the Elves!' I mentally quoted.
"Milady, are you alright?" The blonde elf asked. I nodded weakly.
"Milady, My name is Legolas Greenleaf, I am Prince of the land you apparently have unwittingly stumbled into."
At this point I flat out fainted.
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Please R+R! [ and ] denotes Elvish, both Sindarian and Quenyan. Flames will be laughed at hysterically, then used to melt chocolate for chocolate covered pretzels.