Love is Not Forever
Summary: Alfred is named to be a sore loser and a horrid lover by Arthur in one of their fights. So he dumped the guy, went off to become a rockstar and proved to the Brit that he can do better without him. But still misses him.
Rating: T at most for maybe language, I guess. Rating might go higher up once I get to the latter chapters.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.
Chapter 1: Night of Dispute
"Oi!"
Alfred looked up from the television to his lover who had considerately stood in front of him to entirely get his attention. "What?" he asked innocently. His calm blue eyes searched Arthur's angry green ones.
'Great,' Alfred thought. 'Another supposedly relaxing Saturday night is soon going to be ruined… I wonder what his problem is this time.'
"Don't you 'what' me, you bloody bastard!" The thick-browed blond said hotly. He pressed a bag into Alfred's hands and waited impatiently for the other to look into it. "Do explain to me why you are in possession of such disgraceful things, please."
The American, who felt like he already knew what was inside the bag but looked inside it nonetheless, pulled out a couple of porn magazines—which consisted the interest of both straight and homosexual, though more on the homo side. He looked up at his lover. "You mean these? These are all Francis's…" he explained calmly. "If you had looked deeper, then you would have found the older issues which have his names written on them, dear."
"That still doesn't prove anything!" Arthur fumed, unaffected by the added title that Aflred sometimes called him to calm him down. "Tell me why you have them with you if they are Francis's. And don't you dare use your brother's case as an excuse again!"
Alfred sighed. That 'excuse' wasn't an excuse. It was the truth and Arthur didn't believe it. Even if he used that as an 'excuse' now, he'd probably still think that it was a lie.
To be specific, Matthew had a problem with one of the German brothers last week and had to hide his beloved CD collections from the narcissist to ensure their safety in case the albino had decided to throw another party in Matt's house.
Alfred couldn't help but help him. They were brothers after all. And he knew the pain of having to deal with someone like that after enduring high school with the albino and his friends. Although, he could only wonder how Matthew could keep everything under control with his German lover around.
Unfortunately, and to Alfred's surprise when he found Arthur checking some of the untitled, blank-looking ones (which his brother made him promise not to peek into), they contained BDSM footage mostly of only men and know-how's on how to tie the proper ropes, find the correct pleasure and pressure points, warnings when using gags, and the like.
"It was not meant to be an excuse, Arthur," Alfred sighed, feeling his annoyance start to grow at the memory. Even he had to talk with his brother after finding out (which resulted in a little dispute between them as well which vanished after a while). "Anyway, never mind that. The reason why I have these is because Francis said he wanted to change and become a little more modest. But he couldn't seem to bear parting with his collection so he had me keep them."
He didn't add the part where he was free to look through them if he wanted. He knew Arthur would suspect as much anyway. "Don't worry, I'm only keeping them for him," he said. "I'm not going to actually look through them like you did on my brother's CDs. I'm done and away with that stage."
He could still see that Arthur wasn't convinced as he kept his frown on his face. "It's the same kind of excuse… And I was only checking what kind of CDs your brother owned!" The thick-browed blond stubbornly said. "Anyway, you believed Francis, of all people? For all I know, he could be using that same excuse to bring you down to his ranks!"
"Hey, he's a good friend. He won't do that. And he's not like that," Alfred defended, putting down the burger that he held in one hand. He can eat that later. "Besides, why are you so overprotective? You know I won't be easily swayed by someone else and become like them."
"Oh yeah?" Arthur challenged. "Well, do tell me then about the time when you and that bloody coward got together and you started eating pasta and spaghetti with your burgers! Or when you and the tomato bastard became the 'bestest of friends' one day and you started becoming like a pedophile as he did! And god forbid if that should ever happen again…"
"Hey! I didn't go pedo and he isn't one either!"
"Then tell me why he always only picks out the youngest of the bunch?"
"Dating a guy three years younger than him isn't equivalent to being a pedophile!"
"Well then, I suppose you wouldn't mind then if I started dating someone like Matthew, huh?"
"What?" Alfred blinked at Arthur and stood up in surprise at how irrational he was being. "How did my brother get into this now?"
"Simple. He's three years younger than me, which would make him the youngest of the bunch aside from those Italian brothers." Arthur dare not say he'd rather take the coward, all the more would he not think about even saying he'd try to date the hot-blooded, selfish idiot twin of the coward. Both were already taken anyway. And telling Alfred he'd rather date his younger brother would certainly annoy the American more.
"And me being a year younger than you isn't any problem? Arthur, please. You're being childish despite being older then me," the spectacled one said with a sigh, trying to be as patient as he could with his lover, but he was not as patient as he sounded. And at this rate, he didn't even sound all that patient already.
"And you're being insensitive!" Kirkland retorted. "You just have to keep saying yes to everyone, huh?"
"Now I'm the insensitive one!" Jones replied, his patience getting thinner and thinner with every word that passed between them. He stood up and was glad that he was actually taller then the Brit right now.
"Yes! For a good while now, you have been. It's getting really irritating, you know that, Alfred?"
"And all your complaining about small things is getting annoying, too!"
"You think you're the only one annoyed with all the complaining all around here? Honestly, if we were to sum up all of the complaints you've said about my cooking, I'd say that you've said way more than I ever have!"
"Well for your information, I'm only complaining about your food is just because it isbad! I mean have you ever even tried tasting it for yourself? Oh yeah, I forgot, you do have a bad sense of taste as well!"
Now that was personal! Too personal. Arthur could feel the tears coming but he forced them down. He had started this somehow, and he was going to finish it without losing. "Why, if you ask me, your food is even worse! All the fat and carbohydrates they contain should be enough to make you as fat as a pig even!"
"Pig? Me? Well, that's a first… You actually have a real insult this time. Where'd you get it? From one of your books? Did Sherlock finally find you a good enough insult?" Alfred said sarcastically.
Arthur wanted to hurt the man in front of him oh so badly. He wanted to punch him and just slap him across the face and kick him in the crotch and just hurt him! It was getting frustrating just holding it in right now. But he had to hold back and get a better retort. He absolutely can not lose this one this time!
"At least I can read! What about you? You've practically got nothing but muscle! I bet your head is as empty as you give the impression that it is! Especially with your loud mouth. Ever heard of the saying that it's the empty can that makes the most noise?" He glared and stood on his toes to level with the American.
Alfred glared back equally at Arthur. Now it was getting really personal for the both of them. Then he made a smug and knowing face and crossed his arms as he stood tall. "Heh, I'm the one making all the noise? Then what do you call all that screaming and moaning when I bang you out of your brains, huh?"
Arthur froze for a millisecond. He blinked and reddened for a bit. "Why you… you bastard!" he shouted now, tears on his eyes but thankfully still at bay. "Don't you ever have any sense of shame in you! You are obscure, incoherent, terribly obnoxious, fat, horrendously ugly and a very horrible lover! You even screwed up our first date!"
"Well, at least I'm not a selfish, sissy, fuzzy-browed, over-the-top, idiot who doesn't know how real food tastes like!" Alfred said, feeling hurt at being called a bad lover. How dare he?
A wave of silence passed them. Arthur hung his head, feeling the tears forcing their way out.
"Get out."
"Hm?" Alfred raised an eyebrow. He couldn't read Arthur's expression since his head was hanging low. But judging from his voice, he was obviously tired of this and wanted it all to stop. Alfred actually heard right. But he didn't want to go. He wanted to annoy the Brit even more and just keep fighting with him until he won again.
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!" Arthur exclaimed. He didn't look up; instead he turned his back at the American. He didn't want to show the tears that were now flowing down freely and he certainly didn't want the other to notice the tiny shaking of his shoulders. If he did that, Alfred would know that he'd won.
"Fine!" The American took the bag that contained Francis's magazines, his jacket and the bag that contained the rest of his meal. He didn't bother with the burger that he'd left unfinished anymore. He can forget about that and let Arthur throw it out for him instead.
"I hope you know that this means we're over…" came a mumbled reply.
Before leaving the door, Alfred looked back at Arthur. "I hope you know who destroyed this relationship!" With that, he stepped out and pushed back the door with a slam. Then he angrily stomped to his car. He threw the bags and jacket to the passenger seat and started it.
He drove away, hearing Arthur coming back out and shouting something like, "And don't you dare leave your disgusting food in here either!" Then he heard something else like a thud somewhere on the back of his car. He ignored it. Instead he drove away, sliding his hand out of the window and showing the middle finger to Arthur.
Arthur waited, his shock over seeing an offending move from Alfred wearing off after a few seconds. He waited until he couldn't see the backlights of the car anymore. And when he was sure that the man was finally gone and away, he slammed the door locked behind him and leaned on it. He cried and sobbed and just let it all out, feeling so empty and hurt. He sunk down on the floor and felt so much going on inside him that he just wanted to explode.
In his frustration, he gritted his teeth and swore and even tried to tear his hair out. He pounded on the floor and cried, cursing and swearing all the words he knew that he thought he could never call the bastard.
He regretted kicking the man out of his house, yet he was glad that he did. He regretted ever being so childish, yet he felt happy that he had been. Alfred had been always so selfish and childish. Now, he had a chance to be… but it brought down the relationship they had both been so careful in building. And now that his lover was out of the house, no one would hold him. No one would comfort him or tell him to calm down. No one would kiss him and apologize to him. And he had no one to apologize to but the empty room.
Arthur sunk even more on the cold wood floor until he was just lying there, curled up in a ball with his back to the door. He had calmed down. How he had done it without anybody being there to calm him down, he didn't know. He just did. But he was a mess.
And so many things passed his mind. Alfred's words came back to him, constantly making his blood boil but he had controlled himself every time he felt like erupting. All of his lover's words came back to him, words that came even before this fight, words from their previous fights.
Every time they fought, insults were thrown and hurtful words were said. But they weren't as bad as they had been today, only enough to tease and taunt. And that was it. No physical abuse, no emotional wounds that could never be healed by a metaphoric band-aid and a kiss.
And after each fight, the two blonds would cuddle and say sorry and make up. Sometimes it involved passionate, intimate action, sometimes it didn't and just a kiss was enough. But they made up nonetheless.
This fight, however, was different. Arthur could tell that it hurt both parties and it would leave them both deep wounds. But it was timely. For the past few weeks, they've been fighting more and more and their fights had been getting worse.
Tonight had been the final straw for both of them, obviously. Despite the small things that they have done to try to save this relationship the past days, they still broke up.
Arthur had seen it coming. But he didn't expect that the end would come so soon. And that was what had been a great blow to him.
And so, with so much occupying his mind, he had fallen asleep in that state—tears dried on his cheeks, his arms around his own body to warm up and carefully hold his broken heart, his thoughts filled with Alfred's sweet touches which he unconsciously used to mend himself with, but failing and only breaking him more and more with each memory.
A/N: And that's it! Worked on this one for just a few hours, which is a real miracle in my case. I'm just so eager to post this up so if ever there are any mistakes, I haven't corrected them yet.
Anyways, hope you liked it. Not my first USUK fanfic to write, but definitely the first to post up in the Internet. Hm… I was inspired by some of the songs from Adam Lambert's newest album, Trespassing.
Damn, school time's coming up in a few days and I'm still procrastinating. It's not right, I tell ya. But anyways, enough of my ranting. I wanna hear what you all have to say!