A/N: This is my Doctor Who crossover. It is inspired heavily by the Doctor Who episodes Human Nature/The Family of Blood. Doctor Who-wise, it's multiera and touches on Big Finish ideas on occasion. That being said, it is still very much more a Mentalist-centric work - at least, after the prologue - so I hope people will give it a chance. The prologue is just designed to set up the theory of the rest of the story. That is why I'm posting it in the Mentalist section on here and will be moving it to crossovers at a later date.

If you have any questions about which Doctor is which and who companions are, just ask and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

x tromana

Title: A Madman and His Couch
Author: tromana
Rating: T
Summary: Doctor Who crossover. Patrick Jane has strange dreams. There's a reason for that. He's not... exactly... human. And it all comes to a head when a dead body in a case mysteriously goes missing...
Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or Doctor Who. This piece was entirely written for pleasure. And because people asked me to.
Notes: Written for The Mentalist Big Bang 2012. With thanks to miss_peg for betaing and kathiann for the artwork.

A Madman and His Couch

Prologue

The Doctor stared at Romana, his mouth agape. They were surrounded by a cacophony of noise; black smoke billowed into the orange sky everywhere he looked. Somehow, the Time Lords had, thus far, managed to defend the Citadel, but that didn't mean that Gallifrey wasn't falling to the Daleks, and other time sensitive species. Many a plan to try and stop this endless war had been tried, but failed. His own ideas had become more and more audacious to say the least, but even he hadn't thought of something quite as desperate as Romanadvoratrelundar. Almost consistently since he had been called back to Gallifrey to serve in this fruitless war, Romana had questioned his suggestions, so he was going to do precisely the same to hers. After all, it was all they either did to one another. And in reality, they were both aiming for the same thing: the end of the Time War.

"But Romana, we can't. Isn't that just tantamount to running away?"

"And so what if it is?" she asked dryly. "What other choice do we have if we're going to survive?"

"We'll lose the planet."

"It's a cost I'm willing to take."

"And what about the others? Are they willing to lose Gallifrey too, just to survive?"

"I'm the President," she hissed angrily at him. "It's my job to make important decisions like this."

The Doctor threw up his arms in disgust. He'd had a taste of the Presidency once upon a time, and he hadn't enjoyed it much. Romana clearly remembered that; she had still been studying hard in the academy at the time. The tone of her voice very much suggested that she was trying to use that knowledge against him. It was a palpable blow and it only served to remind him just how much she had changed since she had returned to Gallifrey and taken on the highest of positions that the planet had to offer.

"Nobody will volunteer anyway. Not for that. It's demeaning, it's too human."

"I thought you had a fondness for humanity?"

"I do, but that's not the point! It's the coward's way out, Romana and you know it."

There was a sharp knock at the door to the Presidential quarters. The Doctor turned to face it, frowning as he did so. Romana blithely instructed the visitor to enter and the doors slowly slid open. Out of the shadows came a vaguely familiar face. He was a Time Lord with golden curls, an easy smile and infinitely old blue eyes. This man was almost as notorious as he was – though he always claimed to merely bend the laws, rather than snap them entirely. Dubiously, the Doctor shook his hand and Romana smiled wanly.

"Doctor, I'd like to introduce Veridicusanimadverto to you."

"We've met before, haven't we, Doctor?"

"It's been a long time, Veridicus," he stated as he regarded the man. "You've regenerated. The blond suits you."

"Thank you."

"Veridicus has offered to be our first subject."

The Doctor turned to face him, surprised. Veridicus merely smiled in response. The Chameleon Arch was an old technology, but that didn't necessarily make it a safe one. Even if he survived the transition mode, was placed somewhere in the Earth's timeline, there were no guarantees he would ever regain his Time Lord form. But then, if anyone was willing to take such a risk, then it was going to be Veridicus. This type of outside of the box thinking was definitely his style. In a way, it was no wonder that he had been willing to attach himself to such a project.

"I didn't just offer, Doctor. I suggested the whole concept to the Lady President," Veridicus answered before the Doctor even had a chance to ask 'why'. "It's only fair that I'm willing to be the guinea pig, as it were."

"A suggestion that I am most grateful for," Romana added, nodding in Veridicus' direction. "Are you ready?"

The Doctor watched warily as Romana prepped the equipment and placed the headpiece on Veridicus. He folded his arms, almost sulking. Then, he realized why Romana had called him here. It wasn't because she wanted to thrash out the kinks in the concept and it wasn't to discuss the viability of the project. She had already done all that with Veridicus himself. No, she had merely wanted to update him on the status of the Time War and to inform him of their plans. Sooner, or later, she would inform him of what fate she had in store for him.

For now, he had to watch as the first human was created from a Time Lord body.

It was a matter of microspans before Veridicusanimadverto's screams echoed around the Presidential quarters.