A/N: There's a second part to this. Don't expect it any time soon, though. It'll include who Harry's lover is. xDD And yes, I'm still working on Sweet Reversal. I haven't forgotten about it. This is all dialogue, btw. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: Don't own any character mentioned in this ficlet thinger.

"I don't get it."

"Ron, listen. It's just that he's – "

"I don't understand."

"Look, Ron, you're making this real awkward for him – "

"But I don't get it."

"It's not like he did this to anger you, but he – "

"M'not angry. I'm confused."

"About what, then? Tell us."

"I just don't understand."

"What is there not to get, Ron? Honestly! No, Harry, don't shy away, we'll make him understand. Don't you worry."

"It's just the whole thing I don't get. Could you maybe… repeat it?"

"Harry's gay."

"See, that's the part I don't get."

"That's the whole thing. It's not part of it. It is it."

"…Oh."

"Understand?"

"Um…"

"No, Harry, please don't get up. We'll sit here until it sinks through his thick skull."

"When you say 'gay'… What is it you mean, exactly?"

"Harry likes men."

"Who have vaginas?"

"No."

"Breasts, then? Do you like fat blokes, Harry? Is that what this is about?"

"Ron, Harry doesn't like fat blokes. Well, I mean, if he does, it isn't the point. Harry, don't glare, I didn't mean it like that, I just mean – "

"I'm still not fully grasping it."

"Ron! Honestly! Harry likes men. Blokes. He prefers them to women."

"Prefers them to ugly women?"

"Merlin, you're infuriating. No, not to ugly women. To women in general."

"Oh, see, you've lost me again."

"Ron, not all guys like girls."

"I know that…"

"Good. Now, Harry doesn't like girls."

"Okay…"

"Right then. Stay with me, Ron. We're almost there. Harry likes boys."

"…"

"What?"

"I don't – "

"Understand. Fine. Okay. We'll think of another way to explain this. No, Harry, it's fine. We can sit here all day if we have to. I'm glad you told us this today, but it's best if Ron understands it straight away. Now, Ronald, you know Seamus?"

"Is that a real question?"

"Please answer it. It assures me that you're following in this conversation."

"I resent that, but yes, I know Seamus."

"Good. And so, you know he likes boys, right?"

"But he likes girls, too."

"Yes, but he still likes boys."

"And girls, though."

"But he – "

"I think he'd just about snog anything that moves. Possibly shag, too."

"Harry, stop glaring at me. Maybe comparing you to Seamus wasn't such a good idea. But don't you worry. I'll get Ron to comprehend. Now, Ron, you know that some people like penises, don't you? Don't look at me that way! I can bloody well say 'penis' if I want to. We're all mature here. Yes, Harry, I do realize I said it. Yes, Harry, I know that we don't usually talk about, well, penises – stop snickering, it's serious! – but we have to talk about it now. Right then. Ron, answer the question."

"What was the question again?"

"You know that some people like penises, don't you?"

"Yes. Like girls, for instance."

"And boys?"

"Well yes. They like their own."

"Well, some boys like more than their own penis."

"…What do you mean, 'more than'?"

"I mean Harry likes… well… you know…"

"More than his own… downstairs?"

"That's right."

"He likes other parts of his body, too? That doesn't make him gay. I like other parts of my body – "

"Ron, shut up. Please. Some guys like other guy parts."

"But then they'd be a girl. And Harry's not a girl."

"This is getting very repetitive."

"You're the one who's repeating."

"I don't see how you're not understanding."

"I'm just not. Harry's got a penis, so I don't see how he can be gay."

"You think only girls can be gay?"

"…"

"…"

"Isn't that how it works?"

"RON!"

"What?"

"No, you know what? I'm not even going to go there."

"I mean, of course girls can be gay. That's bloody hot. But for a guy to snog another guy…"

"What? It's not okay?"

"Well, I mean… there's no point to it, is there? If two girls were to snog, then by all means, go ahead. I'd support that. Watch it, even. But what's the point of two guys snogging? Who enjoys watching that?"

"You wouldn't watch it."

"Well obviously. There's no… there's just not an appeal to it."

"It appeals to Harry, though! Harry? Harry, no, that's not what I meant. Yes, I know that you wouldn't ever want to watch that. Yes, yes, I realise you wouldn't want to watch anyone snog. No, I was not calling you a voyeur! I'm trying to help him understand, that's all. Alright, I'm sorry then. Are you happy? Oh, for Merlin's sake, don't use that tone with me. I said I was sorry!"

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"I'm still not getting this."

"Guh. Fine, alright, new approach. Ron? Harry does not like girls. At all."

"That's not true."

"What? How can you say that? He just told us – "

"Because he kissed Cho. And she doesn't have a penis, now does she? And he likes my sister. Don't you mate? Is this because I got mad at you for liking her? Look, if it'll make you feel better, I give you permission to go out with her, if you really want it. Just don't… touch her, or anything. What? Yes, I know you've already gone out with her, but… No. No, you're right, I never did see you two snog… No, I never found that weird. Oh Merlin. My sister does have a vagina, doesn't she? Because… I don't know what I'd do if I found out she was my little brother instead of sister. Right, yes, of course she's a she. Right. Thanks for that, Harry. Wait – why do you know that? Didn't I just tell you not to touch her? Five seconds ago! What have you been doing to her? You're my mate Harry, but I will hit you. What do you mean, 'it wasn't that good'? Are you saying my sister's not good in bed? I resent that! What do you mean, 'she was lacking'? What's this about? Are you a shirt lifter or something?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Oh. You are. You are a shirt lifter. You're a pouf. Right. Right. Gay. Yes. Right. I understand."

"Really? You do?"

"Yes. I get it now. Harry doesn't like girls."

"That's what I've been telling you."

"Well you weren't very clear, now were you?"

"Oh, that's it. I'm going to bed."

"Fine. Good night. Harry? You sure you're gay? I mean, maybe my sister was too girly or something. Yes, I realise she's a Quidditch player. Yes, I know she has six brothers. I know that, Harry. Yes, I know that, too. Right, she isn't very girly, is she? Is it because of her that you found out you liked blokes? Choose your answer wisely, Potter, for I still might hit you. Yeah, you're right, it's getting late. Let's continue this chat tomorrow. Or never again. I think that would work. Right then. G'night."