Uno.
Once you love someone, you'll never stop loving them completely. A piece of your heart, no matter how small, will remain with that person even if he's slowly being hoisted six feet underground.
Dirk was frozen there; his fiery orange eyes behind ironic anime shades were ice in contrast to the lovely spring breeze. He won't cry nor will he run away from this-he wanted to though, he wanted to oh so bad. He wished to ball his eyes out until the white parts were red, he wished to run wherever his feet can take him until he couldn't anymore but he wouldn't. Dirk would watch as his best friend sinks into this cold muddy hole, slipping forever out of his reach.
~A Small Truth~
People cry expecting to see someone who'll care.
People runaway expecting to see someone who'll follow.
Jake wouldn't be there for Dirk anymore. No more loving arms whenever he'd cry out loud, no more anxious footsteps chasing him whenever he ran to nowhere. In the entire of his life, Dirk was sure that he never felt so alone before. He was just a broken half of a whole.
It was an unspoken thing that after they beat the game and miraculously save the world from the apocalypse that they would be together. Dirk made sure of it but this was something he hadn't foreseen.
In the ceremony, Dirk would choke on invisible tears. Jane did the eulogy and spoke about angels that made Dirk think that heaven had just called back his personal angel. He sighed. Jake was his personal angel but not only his, Roxy and Jane's too. Dirk wanted all of them to disappear so that he could just take it all in: the lost of someone so very special.
When everyone vacated, Dirk stayed. He seemed to be glued to that one spot near the freshly built grave. The name 'Jake English' never looked so badly placed, that name shouldn't be written on any grave, well, not yet at least. Dirk stared at it until it finally sunk in.
Jake English was dead. Friggin' dead as dead is and dead will be and dead was. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
Sadly, the weather didn't agree with his sardonic state of mind; the skies were rivalling the blue of 's eyes, the air hitting Dirk's face was refreshing, and everything else seemed oh so happy. Dirk sort of hated it. Heaven must be celebrating the arrival of his best friend. They must be having a blast up there. Oh yeah, party, party. Jake must be making everyone up there laugh with his jokes and stuff; he must be laughing too, his weird but adorable laugh. Hahaha. Did Jake already forget about him? Why wasn't it raining? Isn't Jake supposed to be sad too? Why was Dirk the only one on the verge of homicide and suicide and everything else in between?
Dirk collected himself. His emotions were a scattered mess on the graveyard. He took a sharp inhale and willed himself to smile. If Jake was happy up there, he should be happy too.
"'Til we meet again, bro," he said before it started to drizzle. Dirk reached his car as soon as the once picturesque spring day vanished into a storm.
Dos.
It was weird. Home didn't feel like home anymore when Dirk got there, this dry flat with such fond memories. Memories that'll never be forgotten, the memories filled with Jake. Dirk felt so sentimental that he didn't feel like himself. He usually found so much irony in everything but well, who could find irony in their best friend's death? That very same best friend that you love so much that it's at that point you're sure you don't just love him as a friend. Dirk winced at what he just thought, he was in love with Jake, he really was-he still is. Dirk crashed on the couch without bothering to change from his formal attire.
~Trivia~
Sometimes, imaginary friends aren't always imaginary
"Hey you, get off the bloody couch and change, you smell horrible," a familiar voice disturbed Dirk's peaceful slumber. He blinked back his orange eyes, erasing whatever trace of sleep he had. He can't believe what he was seeing. Perhaps amidst the depression of his friend's death, he subconsciously drove his car off a cliff and is dead now thus explaining the sight in which he, Dirk Strider, was now beholding.
"Strider! I'm serious as one can possibly be, go take one of your famous marathon showers and fix up! Chop chop now," green eyes fixated on him with a stern look, it was almost as if Jake was really alive or…Yep. Dirk had to be fucking dead as well.
"Dude, don't be such a douche and shower or heaven forbid, I'm going get the hose and just spray you here," now how was he going to respond to that? Should he hug the guy or punch or what? Maybe Jake's death was a one of those ironic MTV shows like Disaster Date, damn, they really got him this time. Dirk seriously didn't know how to react to this whole scenario until-
"WHAT GIVES?!" the couch wherein he was laying upon was suddenly turned over making Dirk take a bite of such a healthy breakfast: fresh dust bunnies from the carpet, yummm.
"I told you to change! I don't like the smell of corpse in 11 a.m." Jake did this hybrid face of pissed and pleased. Dirk pouted at his best friend, completely forgetting about his earlier dilemmas.
"Fine, fine, I'll do whatever you say, mom," the shorter snickered. Dirk then walked happily towards his room. Once in his private place, Dirk smiled with content, another fun day with Jake, what a happy thing. He scavenged his closet for clean clothes and he chose this simple attire for this happy occasion. Oh, was it mentioned that Dirk was happy? Anyhow, in his bathroom, Dirk felt something was off. Why was he oh so very happy? It was just going to be another day with Jake, his best friend whom he absolutely spends almost every hour of all the days in the weeks with? Then it suddenly hit him like a cold metal rod straight to his stomach. Dirk stared at the mirror to see his shaded eyes looking back at him, a man in a black suit, he nodded to himself, he understood. This can't be right, this is really not right, wasn't Jake dead?
Tres.
~A quote and a Response~
"Home is where your heart is."
"What if your heart's broken?"
Dirk woke up for what seemed to be the second time. His shades, AR, was currently conversing a lot of people concerned for him. Among the flood of pesterers, a certain bubblegum pink message stuck out.
- tipsyGnostalgic[TG] began pestering timaeusTestified[TT] at 11:34 -
[11:34] TG: dirrkkk
[11:34] TG: dirkyy dirk dirkk
[11:35] TT: I'm sorry to say but it seems that Dirk is still asleep. He happened to pass out on the couch.
[11:35] TG: rly? omg is the poor bby like ok? coz if not I cud like totes pop over and take cre of him!
[11:35] TG: *care
[11:36] TT: My advice would be not to bother him. There's a 97.23% preference that he should be left all on his own.
[11:37] TG: dafuq cares! ther's like % that he doesn't wnt 2 b alone! i'm comn over whther he/you like it or noot!1!
- tipsyGnostalgic[TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified[TT] at 11:37 -
He sighed. He should have known that something like this would happen. Dirk looked at the time on the nearby wall clock, 12:00. Roxy's hotel was about an hour away from where he is so that pretty much gave him 30 minutes to get ready. He's not going to let anybody see how miserable this is making him. Besides, Jake wouldn't want him all sad like this. Dirk made his way to the bathroom and showered.
When they'd finished the game, all that Dirk could think about was what would happen next. Would he and Roxy simply warp back to their timeline? Well, the post apocalyptic suite of his should be different when he gets there like there should be people, he shrugged. Dirk already had people he loved here, he doesn't need anyone in his future. That was it. So when Jake decided that he won't go back to his island anymore and move to the city; Dirk was so elated and decided to join his best bro in the whole world, his best bro who he was unironically in love with to boost. He would tell him. One day. He just didn't want to ruin the start of their lives together.
"Fu-," he bit off a curse as he punched the cold tile of the bathroom. Instead of freshening up and such before a certain 's arrival, Dirk somehow was reminded of the past; this past wherein this jungle boy's buck-toothed smile was more or less his everyday. Suddenly, having one of his marathon showers was a no. He sighed and rinsed off then went out of his ablution sanctuary. He bit his lip when he heard a familiar voice from living room, which was presumably conversing with AR. Damn, his estimated time of arrival was off by like ten minutes. Dirk wrapped a towel around his waist and proceeded to greet the untimely guest.
"You and him really do seem to get along," Dirk said as he leaned against the bathroom door. Roxy Lalonde was still all clad in black, her usually made up face only had traces of cosmetics left. The girl had obviously been taking this as hard as him.
"We're just totes close. Why? Ya' jelly?" She smiled and made a faint squeak of what could have been a laugh.
"I can see that. Well, I guess AR can keep you company while I get dressed. Excuse me." Her smile turned sour as she watched Dirk retreat to his room.
- tipsyGnostalgic[TG] began pestering timaeusTestified[TT] at 12:17 -
[12:17] TG: oh maan, he looksliek a fucken corpse!
[12:17] TG: how many days has it ben snce jakey was buroed?
[12:18] TT: It was only yesterday. Would you like to watch it? I've got everything on video.
[12:18] TG: dats just sick of u! who the hell tkes vidz of a dead person gttin buried? Explsically jakeey!
[12:19] TG: *especilly
[12:19] TG: *espcllu
[12:20] TG: *especially the fuck w/this
[12:21] TT: No matter how sick and twisted it may seem. I did it for his sanity, I know what he's prone to do. He might go on and pretend that Jake's still in his island paradise trotting away. He needs to be reminded of this.
[12:22] TG: oh jakey. y couldn't u still b in yer island stead?
- tipsyGnostalgic[TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified[TT] at 12:22 -
Quatro.
Dirk didn't sleep in his room. He didn't touch his unmade bed, which he didn't usually leave like that. His room was never really his own anyway, Jake used to come around in the middle of the night and cuddle up to him until he confessed during one of those nights; Dirk never slept alone again.
Until now, at least.
He would sleep on the couch while earlier on, he somehow convinced Roxy to sleep in Jake's hardly used room. Dirk shifted on the couch, it wasn't as comfortable as a bed but it's better than remembering. Especially those cold nights they set ablaze but unfortunately, his mind seemed to be in quite the paradox.
~A bible quote~
Love is meant to be sincere.
Romans 12:9-10, NIV
Jake laced their fingers together and pulled Dirk closer, he then draped his unoccupied arm around the other's waist. He smiled as orange eyes disappeared and reappeared for the owner was edging closer to sleep.
"I love you," He rubbed his nose against Dirk's. His prince looked at him with an unreadable expression before pressing their lips together for a soft kiss.
"You're getting sappy on me, English."
"No 'I love you too's?" Jake said with a pout and Dirk snickered and kissed him again.
"What do you think that was for?"
It wasn't that much later on when Dirk found himself being straddled by Jake. This was in fact, a first for both of them. Hands were going everywhere, testing and probing as mouths were biting, nipping, and sucking at wherever seemed like a good idea. But when they found the rhythm of things, they made a symphony.
There was little lust there; all this deed was for them was a gesture of love. Jake even got that much of a romantic maniac and kept whispering 'I love you's and 'I'm never going to leave you's through the night. Dirk loved it though, every little bit of it. He felt Jake's sincerity but then, where is that charming son of gun now? Why was Dirk alone?
Dirk snapped back to reality with cold sweat, a familiar throbbing in between his legs plus a hand on his stomach, this can definitely not be good. He cursed inwardly for this but he hoped that he could put ease himself out without waking up Roxy. He didn't want to do this but what choice does he have? After all this, he will blame himself for all this as he slid his hand under the elastic of his boxers. Dirk would think of Jake- that rugged adventure and his gun calloused hands. Damn, he still remembers all of it. How Jake is and Jake was but he seems to have forgotten something.
Wait an everloving minute, how the fuck did Jake English even die? And why the hell can't he remember this little big deal of a fact?
Cinco.
"Good mornen Dirkeeey!" Roxy greeted as Dirk got out of the shower. He rubbed his temple with the palm of his hand, an obvious sign of exasperation, and muttered,
"Hey Lalonde."
"You don't look like ya' gots any sleep." She pointed to his exposed face, specifically at the dark circles around his eyes.
"I don't want to talk about it," then he recalled that little thing he recalled last night, "Hey, this might sound weird but how did Jake die again?"
Roxy didn't respond verbally but made an 'oh' with her mouth. This made Dirk quirk an eyebrow.
"Oh! Look at the time, Dirky! We're running outta sunlight; I'd better go take a bath so that we can visit Jakey later!" She pushed passed the male and shut the door on his back. Dirk found the reaction to be very interesting…
- tipsyGnostalgic[TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe[GG] at 10:43 -
[10:43] TG: janeeyyyyy
[10:43] TG: janeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yoohooo?
[10:44] TG: janeyyy I rly rly need the fck out of u right now so please respond!
[10:44] TG: janeyy pls, i know that u dont feel liek talking 2 any1 but please janeyyy
[10:45] GG: I'm here, Ro-Lal.
[10:45] GG: I'm sorry that I took so long to reply. It's just been really tough for me. I lost Jake twice this year..
[10:46] TG: but everyon lost jake forevr now.
[10:47] GG: I know that! But I lost him to Dirk and now that idiot went up and died on us! I just can't. Oh my lord. My heart is aching so. Roxy, I just can't believe that he's actually gone. I never thought of the possibility of that.
[10:48] TG: oh jane. no one did. and thers sum1 here whos taking it a lot harder than u. and he needs u even if he doesn't say it. I fuckin need u too.
[10:50] GG: When and where?
[10:50] TG: omfg thank u! later, jakes yaah. bring cakes?
[10:51] GG: I'll make Jake's and Dirk's favorites. :B
- gutsyGumshoe[GG] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic[TG] at 10:51 -
Dirk insisted on driving up to the cemetery, afraid of letting Roxy anywhere near the driver's wheel. Roxy just took this chance to continually pester people as Dirk approached the place where Jake would be forever now. At least he knows where to find the guy if he gets lonely? Fuck this, he won't be lonely if the guy wasn't there. He accidentally hit accelerate and found Roxy steering the wheel from the passenger seat, barely saving them from a truck. Dirk let out a breath of curses and decided that it would be best if Roxy would drive the rest of the way, he wasn't even fit to drive for now.
The scenery was absolutely beautiful; it was the orange pink of near sunset with a still of that familiar light blue in contrast with the darkening greens. The cemetery they chose was perfect. It was as if Jake chose it himself. Dirk half choked on another invisible tear when he saw Jane talking to a familiar yet indifferent grave.
~An unsaid saying~
Friends make the best out of the worst.
She held up her picnic basket, showed the two comers what was in it. Roxy smiled. Dirk looked like he was about to ball. Jane let out a toothy grin. This was how Jake would want it to be so she'd give him that, it's the least she could do. Jane would help her friends make the best of what's left after that horrible incident.