A/N: This was written for The Small Screen Challenge at the Philinda AU Tumblr. The point of this challenge was to put Philinda in the roles of other television characters. If you know me at all, it will come as no surprise to see I put them in the shoes of Regina Mills and Robin Hood from Once Upon a Time.
This is a scene from the episode "Quiet Minds" (3x15), and while I added some things/changed a few of the lines, a lot of things said are taken directly from OUAT (Disclaimer: I own neither OUAT nor Agents of SHIELD).So that's why Melinda might seem a bit OOC, if she does. You don't need to have seen OUAT to understand this... Hopefully I made it as easy to understand as possible.
I had so much fun writing this, so I hope you enjoy!
Once upon a time, there was an enchanted forest filled with all the classic characters we know.
Or think we know…
Everyone knows the story of the Evil Queen, a woman warped by hatred and darkness in her vendetta against Snow White. What many don't know is who the Queen replaced: A sweet girl whose smile lit up the room and who believed in love more than anything.
When that was taken from her, shadows crept into her world and sought to erase the light within her. Forced into a loveless marriage and made queen, the girl – slowly becoming less of a child with every passing day - began to accept the monster she was becoming. Before her transformation was complete, however, a fairy made one last attempt to save the doomed maiden.
The fairy brought the young woman to a tavern with the promise of showing her the man she was destined to be with: Her soul mate. Within that tavern sat a man made for her in every way, marked by a tattoo of an eagle on his right wrist.
She had happiness right before her fingertips, but fear made her flee. Convinced there was nothing for her but anger and darkness, the girl – now a woman – disappeared into the role of Evil Queen. She never thought of the man with the eagle tattoo again.
But it just so happens that fate is a funny thing…
Melinda May kicked up a clump of dirt, huffing in frustration. She didn't really think she would find anything, but that didn't mean she was happy with the result. Shoving her hands into the pockets of her gray coat, Melinda strode down the driveway of the old farmhouse, eager to put some distance between her and it.
Melinda was beginning to be convinced that her life would never be a peaceful one. Granted, being the fearsome queen of a fantastical land didn't exactly lend itself to tranquility, but she had hoped – foolishly, it seemed – that things might finally quiet down in the sleepy, stupid town she had created.
But she was a villain, and villains didn't get happy endings.
Now Storybrooke had a new menace: the Wicked Witch, straight from Oz. Melinda had scoffed at first, because of course that was who decided to invade their lives. After a psychopathic Peter Pan, she'd thought she'd seen it all, but apparently not.
She had volunteered to search the Witch's house for some kind of clue as to what the green-skinned woman was up to, but came up empty. The Witch wasn't there, and she hadn't left a spell book or piece of parchment lying out like Melinda had hoped. Now, with irritation simmering in her veins, she began to head back into town and share her findings – or lack thereof – with the Savior and her parents.
(Melinda still couldn't believe that was a thing that was happening. Never in a million years could she guess she would team up with Snow Freaking White.)
Melinda was halfway down the drive when rustling in the bushes behind her made her stop short. She would've chalked it up to the wind if there had been one; but alas, the trees to her right were still.
Spinning on her heel, she appraised the area before her. The clump of leaves right next to the house shook again, and she clenched her right hand into a fist.
"Show yourself!" she called, bracing herself for an attack.
A few seconds passed, then a figure jumped out, raising something in the air. Melinda barely had time to process what it was before her hand snapped up and caught an arrow aimed at her head. Her heart was thudding madly in her chest as her brain caught up with what had just happened.
That figure was a man, and he had a crossbow.
And he had just tried to kill her.
The man raised his hands. "I'm sorry, milady! I thought you were the Wicked Witch."
Melinda kept her face blank, trying to maintain her composure. "Well, I thought you were a flying monkey, so I guess we're even."
She hoped the mystery man would run away like so many did when they saw her, but he simply continued forward, not even looking marginally frightened. Melinda gritted her teeth and unconsciously gripped the arrow tighter.
"I hope that doesn't cost me my head," the man said, giving a small bow. He raised his gaze to meet hers and added, "Your Majesty."
"So, you know who I am." The man chuckled.
"How could I not? Your reputation in the Enchanted Forest precedes you."
Melinda's stomach twisted uncomfortably. Images of destroyed villages and lifeless bodies flashed in her mind.
"I didn't catch your name," she said, forcing the memories from her mind. The man stuck out his hand.
"Phillip, son of Coul, at your service. You can call me Phil, if you like."
Melinda hummed thoughtfully. "That sounds vaguely familiar."
"Most people know me as Robin Hood," he replied with a humble shrug. Melinda's lips parted.
"The thief," she murmured. She dropped the arrow into Phi's outstretched hand. He smirked and pulled it back.
"Well, if we're throwing titles around, aren't you technically known as the Evil Queen?"
Melinda felt sick again. She frowned.
"I prefer Melinda."
"Well, Melinda," Phil said. She stiffened, amazed at his boldness. "I came here in the hopes of finding something about the Witch. My guess is you did too."
"You would be correct," she responded coolly. "But there's nothing to find. She's long gone."
Phil glanced back at the house. "Maybe she left a trail?"
That piqued Melinda's interest. She might even go so far as to say he impressed her with the suggestion.
"I was thinking the same thing," she lied. Phil smirked again. It was infuriating. He was infuriating.
"Then you've got yourself a partner."
Melinda blinked. That never happened with her. People didn't voluntarily agree to work with her. If anything, they agreed to work against her. She stepped around Phil, placing herself between him and the house.
"I don't remember asking for one."
"You didn't," Phil replied cheekily. Melinda turned back to him. Her heart skipped a beat at the sparkle in his eyes. They were so blue.
She should reject him. The Evil Queen didn't take partners. They were useless, incompetent, and tended to fear her presence. They only served to disrupt her plans and make a mess of everything, which led to their loss of life.
"Just… don't get in my way," she said before she could even wrap her head around it. Phil grinned broadly, tipping his head down.
"I wouldn't dream of it."
"So, where does 'Robin Hood' come from?"
Melinda and Phil were examining every inch of the farmhouse, looking for some kind of breadcrumb that could indicate where the Witch had gone. They had been there for nearly an hour, and, true to his word, Phil kept a wide berth around the former queen. That didn't stop him from making small talk, which should have angered Melinda. Instead, she realized she liked having someone to talk to, and had responded to everything he said. She still acted as though he was the most insufferable man on the planet, however. Couldn't give him the impression she actually liked him.
Phil seemed startled at her question, probably because she hadn't asked one since entering the house.
"My mother's name was Robin," he said, opening a cabinet and peering inside. "She died when I was a teenager, which kinda sent me on a downward spiral, which eventually led to me forming the Merry Men and becoming a thief. I guess it was my way of honoring her, to make up for what I'd done after her death. And the Hood part just comes from my clothes."
Melinda bit back a smile. "So, you're named after a woman?"
Phil shrugged. "Seemed like an easy way to keep my real identity out of things." A sly grin spread across his face. "Should I ask about how you got your title?"
Melinda scowled and turned back to the bookshelf she was perusing. Instead of books, it contained mismatched bottles, most likely full of potion ingredients.
"So, none of these have magical properties?" Phil asked, gesturing around them. Melinda had told him she was looking for magic traces. If she had one, it could start that trail they were looking for.
"Well," Melinda said, brushing off his previous question. "A good witch knows how to cover her tracks. But a better one knows how to find them." She gave Phil a look that clearly said she was the latter. "We'll find her. Just be patient."
She was so focused on the bookshelf that she didn't realize Phil had moved until he spoke again. His voice was closer now, directly behind her.
"You know, I've heard many stories about the great and terrible Evil Queen," he started. Melinda tensed, keeping her gaze forward. "But from his angle, that name seems to be a bit of an overstatement. Bold and audacious, perhaps, but not evil."
His words shook her to her core. No one had ever spoken to her like that since she took on that dreadful title. Melinda tried to suppress the grin that played at her lips, but failed miserably. Her insides felt warm.
Tamping down her pleasure, she turned around to see him leaning against a table a handful of feet away. The playfulness in his gaze told her he knew exactly what effect his words had on her.
"The name served me well," she said, keeping her voice level. "Fear is quite an effective tool."
Phil didn't respond. He simply held her gaze. She found herself getting lost in those deep blue eyes, staring at her in a way very few had, drilling deep into her soul, and when did he get so close? He had pushed himself off the table and closed the distance between them. His breath mingled with hers. Her eyes dipped traitorously to look at his lips. For a brief second, she thought he was going to erase those last few inches.
Then he shifted to the side, and Melinda felt cold. He reached behind her and grabbed something. She worked to keep her expression neutral as he stepped back and held up a bottle with amber liquid inside.
"What about this?" he asked, his voice low. "Is this magical?"
Melinda tore her gaze from his and glanced at the bottle. "Not exactly. But it is a liquid that can conjure courage, give strength, and even act as a love potion of sorts." Phil raised his eyebrows, and Melinda let out a little laugh. "It's whiskey. And no, it's not magical. Especially not the next day."
"Ohhh," Phil said, as though he hadn't already known. Melinda realized they were still very close He had a very mischievous look on his face.
He reached behind her once more, Melinda sucking in a breath when he brushed her side. He raised two empty glasses in his free hand, tilting his head to the side in question.
"You want to drink? Now?"
Phil shrugged and set the glasses on the table. "Well, we've both spent the day searching this godawful house for clues that aren't here." He poured out a healthy amount of whiskey in both glasses. "I'd say we've earned it, wouldn't you?"
Melinda found herself smiling as he turned back to her, a lightness filling her for the first time in ages. He hadn't run. Most people did, once they realized who she was. But not Phil. He didn't even seem frightened of her. It was refreshing, liberating, and wonderful.
She'd almost wanted him to kiss her. She hadn't wanted that in years.
Phil held out a glass to her with his right hand. Smile still on her face, Melinda glanced down. At some point during their conversation, he had pushed his sleeves up, leaving his wrist bare. He had an eagle tattoo right below his palm.
Melinda's smile faded as the Earth stopped spinning.
An eagle tattoo.
The eagle tattoo.
She could hear that stupid fairy's words, clear in her mind. "There he is. Your soul mate. The man with the eagle tattoo."
Robin Hood – Phil – was her soul mate.
She could barely hear him asking if she was alright over her whirling thoughts. Bile rose in her throat, and her head spun. Phil's concerned gaze danced before her, which only worsened how she felt.
She ran from the room, ignoring Phil calling her name. She burst through the front door and teleported herself away, never having been more grateful for possessing magic. She landed in a nearby clearing. Collapsing against a nearby tree, Melinda clasped her hand over her mouth as her breaths came out in gasping puffs.
The man she had ran to avoid all those years ago had found her. Back then, she believed he would have led to her downfall, would have erased the one thing she had left: Anger. Anger had been the only thing she clung to, and without it, Melinda was convinced she would be nothing. She chose anger instead of happiness, running from her supposed soul mate. But today, she had talked with him, maybe even flirted with him. She even wanted him to kiss her! It was a trap she avoided ages ago, only to fall into it now. How could she have been so stupid?
Melinda had long since given up the idea of finding love again. After all, she was the Evil Queen. Love didn't come to a heart as blackened as hers. Phil would never want a soul mate like her.
Tears pricked Melinda's eyes when she realized this. Maybe he would have when she first found him. And maybe they could have been happy. But now? There was no chance. She loathed to admit it, but that hurt. For a brief moment, she had caught a glimmer of hope. Hope had never been kind to her, and she should have realized it. Stupid.
Phil's blue eyes crept into her mind, the playfulness, the concern, all of it. Melinda knew they would haunt her for the rest of her life now.
A new, fresh hell for the Evil Queen, courtesy of one of the most honorable men in all the realms. How fitting.