YOLO

Scott Carlton had always believed himself to be lucky. Whether his gift was supernatural, or just pure dumb luck, he couldn't say. But he was, without a doubt, a lucky man.

Or at least, that was what he had thought before Black Mask had caught him and placed a loaded automatic to his head.

"Alright, Hacker," the Mob Boss said calmly, using the moniker that Scott was now famous for. "You wanna tell me why my boys found you wandering on my turf with a loaded piece and a stick of dynamite that you never got to use?"

Hell no, was the answer that immediately came to mind, but Scott decided against using such a strong phrase. His only reason for restraint, was the gun that was currently placed against his temple, ready and waiting for him to screw up.

How on earth was he going to get out of this? Even his first class luck wasn't this good. For the first time in his short, crime-based life, Hacker wished that the Batman would show up. But sadly, the flying rat wouldn't be interrupting this meeting. Seeing as he had disappeared from Gotham several weeks prior, before Bane had taken over the city.

What I wouldn't do for a good ole batarang throw, or an expert a-whoopin' Dark Knight style. If he was here, I could get away without a scratch. . . He'd be too busy dealing with the guys with guns to even notice me. It's happened before. . .

Black Mask smacked the butt of his gun into the young man's head, bringing him back to his present situation and simultaneously causing him to hiss in pain. The mobster looked mildly annoyed as he returned to pointing the gun at Hacker's skull.

"Pay attention, Mr. Hacker. I don't enjoy repeating myself."

Scott grinned, despite the dizzy spell that was currently overtaking him. "Sorry man, my mind was elsewhere. I tend to let my thoughts wander when I'm being threatened. . . I was just wondering what the Dark Knight is up to, since he skipped Gotham."

As Scott had predicted, Black Mask stiffened, and his goons shifted uncomfortably. Good, he had hit a nerve.

"That damned bat-freak has passed on to the other side, Hacker," The gangster said with conviction. "He's dead and buried."

Scott shrugged. "You're entitled to your opinion, I suppose."

Black Mask's eyebrow lifted and he reached out to grab Hacker's jaw with his free hand. "Do you know something about the Bat that you're not sayin'?"

Hacker gave him a cheeky smile, though his face was currently being squished painfully. "Nope. I just agree with my boss."

At this, the mobster outright laughed. "What? You mean the Joker? That wacky nut-job believes that the Bat is still alive?"

"Yup," Scott said with a small nod, which made the gun press harder against his temple. "Joker knows that the Batman is still turning tricks. He says that the Dark Knight wouldn't have just upped and died without a big theatrical send-off, and I agree. It's not his style. I mean have you seen the way he dresses? Large cape and pointy ears? He's an attention maniac!"

Black Mask shook his head with a sick grin. "Fair enough, but answer me this, smarty: if the Bat is still breathin', then why did he let Gotham get overrun over by Bane and the inmates of Blackgate?"

Scott frowned at this, because he truly had no answer. Batman had disappeared right before Bane had showed up, and there hadn't been any sign of the masked vigilante since. Hacker would have thought that the Caped Crusader was deceased, if it hadn't been for the research the Joker had uncovered several days ago. Apparently, the Dark Knight was being held within a prison in Morocco called the Pit, while Gotham was destroyed piece by piece. Though Bane's endgame remained ultimately unknown, everyone knew that it wasn't going to be pretty. . .

Scott could have explained all this to the mobster who was currently staring him down, but he knew better. The Joker had plans to find the Bat, and he wasn't going to jeopardize that, no matter how much he wanted to wipe that damnable smirk off Black Mask's face.

"I dunno," he said with disinterest. "But I'm not about to second-guess my boss. If he believes that the Bat is alive, then I don't doubt it."

Black Mask scowled then, and Scott felt his gut clench in anticipation right before the mobster drew back his fist and let it connect with his cheek. Well, one thing was certain: the rumors were true. Black Mask had one hell of a left hook.

For two minutes, all Hacker could see, were stars and little striped ducks dancing in a row.

"Why do you stick with that wack-job," the Mob Boss asked in disgust. "When you could work for me and get double the pay?"

Hacker sighed heavily as he regained his vision, instantly glaring at the Mask. "It's not about the pay. It's never been about the pay!"

Black Mask sneered. "Then why do you keep declining my offer?"

Scott chanced a glance at the clock that currently rested on the far wall of the room, and felt his heart beat increase. It was almost time. . . He only had to keep the conversation going for another minute, and then escape would be well within his grasp!

"I stick with the Joker because he gives me something you never could," Hacker said preparing himself for what was to come.

"Oh, and what is that?"

Scott met the mobster's eyes as he inconspicuously pressed a button on his watch, and twisted the surface twice.

"Respect," was the simple answer. "And freedom." And as Hacker finished speaking - just as he had predicted- his job was rendered complete.

Before Black Mask could reply or even move, the buildings' foundations began to collapse as the first ripple of the blast echoed through the otherwise still afternoon. The effects were not that far from that of an earthquake, and Black Mask, as well as his goons, immediately fell with the aftershock.

Having expected the event, Scott jumped up from his knees and kicked the gun away from Black Mask, before the mobster could fire, and gave him a smug grin. "You shouldn't talk to your victims so much, Sionis! See what can happen to ya? It all goes to hell when you let your captive buy for time!"

Black Mask growled and stood as quickly as possible, though failed when another shock ran through the floor.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?" He yelled angrily, pulling himself up from the floor, and using the window sill for support to stay standing.

Scott laughed evilly before he pressed the button on his watch again, and moved towards the renowned Mob Boss. "I set the place to blow of course! Did you really think I'd risk coming here for a personal visit?"

Black Mask gave a mad yell and took a swipe at Hacker, which the man was easily able to dodge.

"You'll pay dearly for this, Hacker!" The man bellowed, his large eyes screaming of horrible demises and painful deaths. "I'll kill ya! You won't walk outta here alive!"

Scott smirked as he came to stop only a foot away from Black Mask.

"Oh, I know I can count on dying," he said with a wiggle of his eyebrow. "But you get to go first."

Black Mask snarled just as the floor began to crumble beneath their feet, and he instantly charged Hacker with a flurry of jabs, but the young man was ready for him. Scott parried the wild fists, and returned in-kind with several of his own. Then, as the Mobster staggered back from a hit that had connected perfectly with his gut, Scott went in for the killing blow. With a quick, fluid movement, the young man raised his right leg and gave a powerful kick directly to the man's broad chest. And with a loud cry of surprise, Black Mask flew through the window, breaking the glass, as he fell to the ground below.

Scott pleased with his work, looked back to where the goons were fighting to get their balance and gave them a mock salute. "See ya fellas!" Then, as he heard the explosive rumble grow to a deafening cacophony, Hacker gave a loud battle cry and jumped out of the window he had just kicked the Mask through. As he landed on the ground with a loud thud, the building was blown sky high.

Hacker looked up to see the demolished headquarters of Black Mask with a sense of satisfaction, before he sunk into unconsciousness and fell into the blissful embrace of darkness.

Scott wasn't aware he had survived until he felt a shoe tap his side, and a searing ache burst throughout his head. The young man fought to open his eyes, but they refused to cooperate with the simple command.

Open your eyes! His mind screamed frantically. Do you want to get killed now, after you fought so hard to stay alive!? OPEN YOUR FREAKING EYES!

But to Scott's surprise, it wasn't the voice of a goon or even Black Mask that erupted in his ears. Instead it was the strange drawl of someone he had come to know and fear well.

"My, my, Harls. What do we have here?"

The voice that answered the deep timbre was definitely female and had a New York accent to accompany it.

"Looks like your boy, Hack, puddin'. But with all that blood on his face, I can't really tell. . ."

Scott, with some severe effort, was able to force his eyelids open, and looked up with dazed eyes. And as he focused on the man standing before him, he took in the dark grin, top notch purple suit, and green hair of his employer. Despite how crazy it sounded, Scott couldn't have been happier to see the demented clown.

With a large grin, Hacker spat out the blood that was filling up in his mouth, and choked out, "Yeah, it's me."

The Joker licked at the scars on either side of his mouth, and looked down at his henchmen's battered face. After a few minutes of silent scrutiny- that made Scott more nervous than when Black Mask had been holding the gun to his head- the Clown Prince of Crime broke out with a pleased cackle that echoed throughout the desolate backstreets.

"Aha ha aha ha aha! Well, Hacker, one thing I'll say for ya: you've got balls! Here I thought you were trying to double cross me, when you were just finishing up the job like a good little' puppy! And ya didn't disappoint. There's nothing left of the Mask's abode but ruble and KO'd thugs."

Scott felt pride well up within his chest at the words of praise, and he smiled again, though his face was already beginning to swell twice its normal size. He must've looked like a bonafide beauty.

"You said you didn't want to waste any more time, so I thought I'd just get it done."

Joker chuckled deeply. "Well you made the right decision, if you were looking to further adapt into my crew and move forward with your aggressive expansion. Ya pulled the job off without a hitch; which most beginners can't claim to have done."

"I just did what you taught me," Hacker said modestly with a shaky laugh. "Big explosion, lots of screaming, excessive flailing of bodies and limbs."

"Only way to go," the clown agreed with another chuckle before his eyes returned to the wreckage. "So, is Sionis still inhabiting the world of the living? Or did he depart like the rest of his lackeys?"

Scott briefly pointed over to a large pile of debris several feet away. "I kicked him out the window before I blew the place. He should be fine."

Joker ran his tongue over his scarred lips, "Atta boy."

Then the Clown Prince turned back to Harley who was still standing silently at his side. "Dollface, take care of ma' boy Hacker here. Escort him back ta the car and get him cleaned up. Daddy's got some business to wrap up before we skip town."

Harley nodded and gave him a sappy wink. "Whatever ya say, Mistah J! We'll be waitin' for ya!"

Joker leaned in and kissed her cheek, effectively smearing some of his facepaint onto hers. "Thata' girl." Then without further preamble, the Joker stalked off towards the place Hacker had indicated.

Harley helped Scott stand and as the two moved towards the car that was parked in a nearby alley, they heard the Joker greet Black Mask, "Hey, Sionis, ole pal of mine!"

Hacker cringed as the greeting was followed by a broken cry of pain and a loud crunching noise.

"Sounds like he stepped on the guy's ribs."

Harley shrugged indifferently as she leaned Hacker against the trunk, and pulled out her keys to the weathered, black Cadillac. "He stole from my puddin', so he deserves what he gets."

Scott watched quizzically, as she unlocked the door and held it open for him. "What did Black Mask steal?"

Harley helped him into the car and slid in beside him before she answered. "Remember how Mistah J was able to find out where Bane had taken the B-man?"

Hacker nodded.

"Well," Harley said, as she reached under the mellow, golden leather of her seat. "That dirty rotten rat, Sionis, warned the muscled wonder, blew up our jet, and stole the coordinates for the prison that the Bat's being held."

Scott almost laughed out loud. Had Black Mask really been dumb enough to side with Bane and go against the Joker? Even the mentally unstable patients at Arkham knew better than to cross the Clown. And yet, here they were.

Apparently, Roman Sionis had a death wish.

"So we can't go find the Bat now?"

Harley scrunched her brow as she fought to grab whatever was housed there, and shook her head. "Of course we can! Whaddya think Mistah J is doing right now?"

Scott was confused. "Even if Joker is able to get the prison location from the Mask, we still have Bane after us, and are short of a way to high tail it from Gotham."

Harley gave him a pretty smile as she continued to fight for the item under her seat. "My puddin' is acquiring a way out of Gotham as we speak. Black Mask has been an ally of Bane's for years, so he's able to leave the city at any time to run errands for the big guy."

"So we've got a ride, the prison location, and a safe ticket from Bane?"

Harley cackled. "Ya give or take a couple of details! Pretty neat, huh?"

"Yeah! . . . Do you need help," Hacker offered as he watched her continue to struggle.

"Nah, I've got it," Harley said with a bubbly giggle as she finally pulled out a small red box. "But thanks for askin'!"

To Scott's surprise, the box was a first aid kit. And when Harley reached out for him, so she could clean his face, the man blushed. "You don't have to do that, Harley."

Harley frowned, "Mistah J told me ta take care of ya, and that's what I'm going ta do!"

Hacker held up his hands in surrender and let her proceed, though he couldn't help but curse when she dabbed his split lip with an antibiotic.

"Sorry, sugar," she apologized sweetly. "I'll be done before ya know it. Just think of nice things, and you'll be right as rain!"

Scott nodded and though it was difficult, he didn't make another noise until she was done. Then as she replaced the box from its hiding place, Hacker gave her a soft smile.

"Thank Harley. . . For everything."

When she lifted an eyebrow at him, he elaborated. "I know that the Joker wouldn't have come here if it wasn't for you asking him to. So thanks, for saving my bacon."

Harley Quinn shifted, making her ponytails bounce as she tittered. "No worries Hack! I wouldn't leave ya behind. Good hired help is hard ta find nowadays, besides the fact that you're a cutie-pie!"

Scott smiled despite himself. "You mean it?"

"Of course, I do!" Harley chirped. "I like having some eye-candy when I'm workin'!"

The young man watched the bubbly clown for another moment, before he made up his mind and acted on impulse. He knew it was stupid, but he had already proven that his lucky streak was extraordinary, so he took the chance.

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to Harley's soft red ones, and brought his hand to rest at the side of her neck. At first, the Clown Princess was still, not having expected the kiss, but soon enough she returned it. It was over as quickly as it had begun, but it had been passionate and sincere for both. It was a kiss that made both Harlequin and Hacker blush.

The Joker would probably kill him if he ever found out. But at that moment, Scott Carlton couldn't bring himself to care.

After all, you only lived once.

Author's Note:A birthday gift for my cousin who loves The Dark Knight, and Heath Ledgers Joker. ^^ I've never really written for this version of the Joker before. . . Or Black Mask for that matter. . . Did I do alright? Please let me know. . .

Anyway, please drop me a review and let me know what you think! I always love to share my readers' experiences!

~Lyn Harkeran