1

Holo's hand rested on her navel, a barely visible bulge just beginning to form below her stomach. The cart continued to rattle along, both its occupants lost in thought of their lives to come. Deep inside Holo, a third party dreamed of things unknown to both Lawrence and Holo. Three lives. There had not been three lives in this cart since Cole had left them the previous October.

"Tis strange." Remarked Holo. "I've had this life a full five hundred years. I've seen mountains too high for the clouds to surmount, crossed rivers fathoms deep, and fought wild beasts that would make the bravest man quiver in his boots- but no event that transpired before I met you ever caused me any fear."

"You must be getting soft." Lawrence replied. "I have heard that women bearing children tend to lose sight of the people they were before." He knew he was in dangerous water, but he pushed on, ignoring the irritated swishing of Holo's tail beneath the blanket they shared. "It must be my influence that makes you soft."

"It would be wouldn't it?" She shot back. "After all, she is your child, isn't she? I should assume that being part human she would be weak as an infant, only regaining the majesty of the Nobel wolves when she matures in to a strong young women!" Holo delivered this verbal parry with arms extended, as if mocking the whole conversation.

Lawrence smiled and looked to her stomach. "You said 'She', how do you know it will be a 'she'?"

Holo grinned pleased that he had asked. "Because even at such a young age, she must be wise beyond her years the likes of others in her state, so I know she would never be foolish enough to choose the feeble male gender."

"Ho Ho, so you think my gender is feeble, do you?" Inquired Lawrence, barley concealing a grin.

"Not entirely, I suppose, you do have your uses… But they must escape me at the moment, for I cannot find them."

"They must be limited to alcohol and sweet apples, mustn't they then?"

"Oh, mentioning apples, you are mean indeed. Speaking of apples, you will buy me some in town, wont you?"

Lawrence pulled her to his side, and she leaned into him, breathing in the scent of his jacket. It was her scent now too, and it would be the scent of their child's when it was born. It was a soft smell, earthy and whole, mixed with the smoke from their nightly fires, and the smell of their passion. It was a good smell, and it made her feel warm and safe against the cold that intruded through her robe, and their blanket.

"Have I ever refused apples to you?" He consoled her, smiling. "But back to what you said before, you said you were only ever afraid with me, didn't you?"

"I did." Holo said, her voice muffled by his coat. "And I am. You were the only person who ever made me feel afraid. It was always worse in my head. I couldn't stand the thought of being alone after we met. I would torture myself over it, never wanting to make you leave me, and always thinking of one more reason to delay our journey to Yoitsu."

"Well…" Lawrence began to console her, then realized that she did not need it.

….

The sun had fallen, taking its warmth and light with it, Leaving both those jobs to the fire Lawrence had conjured. The pair sat against the cart, their backs to its cold planks, their hands held out to receive as much of the fires heat as they could.

"I was thinking.." Began Holo, choosing her words carfully. "That when the baby comes, we shouldn't do it by ourselves, should we?"

"I suppose not, but it would create significant problems if we intend to keep you a secret from the church, no normal midwife would do, and we obviously couldn't seek refuge at the church, it would be asking for trouble." He pondered the question. It was too true. He himself knew nothing of child birth, having been present only at his own, and he grinned when thinking of the usefulness that that would be.

"I was thinking that the only good option would be to go back to Kumer, and find that Diana Women." Holo looked positively livid at the idea of asking another incarnation for help. "But I can't see another way to get around it and do it safely."

"I never thought the wise wolf would go to anyone for help, let alone another woman." Lawrence jested.

"You know full well that I only do this for the child." It clearly hurt her to have to ask for help from someone whom she had been at odds with. She clenched her fists in front of the fire and lightly punched the dirt on which they sat. "If there was anyone else… any other way… oh that wrenched bird I can already see the look on her face when we show up and she sees me… like this."

"Do you regret it?" Lawrence asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course not, but I've never been a mother before, and it scares me. Whenever something has happened to us, I've been able to figure something out." Her eyes began to water and she leaned over, putting her head in his lap. "But this is all new to me, and I can't think through it. It's not something that can be thought through I suppose."

Lawrence shared her fears for the health of the child, and his own of his own ability to be a capable parent. He stroked her hair and wrapped the blanket more tightly around them. "This is normal, I'm sure all parents face this at one point or another, fear about whether or not they are up to it."

Holo looked none too reassured. "We are not like normal parents, though, are we?"

He smiled and lay down next to her, resting his heat atop hers, facing the dyeing remains of the fire. "No, I suppose were not." They sat in silence for some minutes. Watching the fire die, and soon the light of the stars and moon were the only thing that brought light to the world. "Listen, it's only a few hours out of our way to get to Kumer, we could go there tomorrow and I'll ask Diana for her assistance.

"I'd like that." Holo replied a small tired voice from under his head. "This is rather exciting though, isn't it?" She rested her hand on her belly and held Lawrence's with the other. "Humans have children by the time they are twenty, but I, several times over their elders am at a loss for what to do. It is most frustrating, to think that a mere human could have capable knowledge that I know nothing of."

"We'll go to Kumer tomorrow, and that's as far as you'll have to worry." Lawrence hopped to God that what he said was true.

Holo sighed deeply, her hand rising and falling on her stomach, in time with her breathing. Lawrence put his hand on top of hers and felt her rhythmic, powerful heart beat. They drifted off to sleep this way, each consoled by the other till the next morning.

….

The following day however, they were unable to set out for Kumer. When Lawrence woke, the ground beside him cold. He lifted his head to look for Holo, and saw her some distance away from the road. He shrugged of the blanket and the sleep that clung to him and walked over to her cautiously. Only when he was beyond the remains of the fire, did he see what she was doing. She was bent over the stream beside the road, wrenching, tears of discomfort streaming down her face. Lawrence ran the few remaining steps to her and kneeled down next to her.

"Why didn't you wake me!?" Lawrence exclaimed, his fear fueling anger.

"Wouldn't… have… made it to-" She pulled forward and vomited violently into the frigid water. She leaned back and gagged again, dry wrenching repeatedly over the stream. "I'm sorry, its not the food you cooked, it was something else, I don't know what I ate, but it wasn't any fault of yours."

"It's not anything you ate." Lawrence said, his had resting on the small of her hunched back. "Its morning sickness, from the baby. Mark's wife had it too, remember when we visited the, and the entire time we were there she was too sick to even get out of bed."

"I remember. But only because I thought it odd that Mark was doing the cooking." Her voice was week, pained and feeble. Lawrence had never seen her in such a state, and her lack or embarrassment about her current situation proved how bad she felt. "Please," She said meekly. "Sit with me until… until its over."

"Of course." Lawrence smiled ruefully "You didn't actually think I would leave, even if you hadn't asked?"

"No, no, I suppose not, but still I-" Suddenly she gagged, leaned over the stream again, and sent a pitiful stream of bile into the water. "Oh, please make it stop. Just make it stop." Holo rocked back on her hands and knees, her eyes closed tears trickling out from under each lid.

Lawrence stood, and after assuring Holo he would return immediately, returned to the cart and, after a moment of searching through their things returned to the river bank where Holo sat. He squatted next to her and removed several items from his pockets. "Here, drink this, it will help with the nausea." He gave her a small glass vile that he had gotten from Mark's wife. "Anna gave it to me when I told her you were expecting. She said it would help with the vomiting."

"Thank you." She said hoarsely.

Lawrence wiped the side of her mouth, liberating a strand of saliva. "Let's get you back to bed, God knows you need it."

"He must know many things." She told him weekly, as he carried her to the cart. "But even he can't know what this must be like."

"No." Lawrence said. "I suppose he can't, can he."