Authors Note: This is a VERY dark fic! Please do not read if you do not wish to read about some darker matters FYI: Rape, this story just came to me one day and I worked really hard on it! It does have a weird happy ending though, if that helps
Disclaimer: I Do Not Own any of the Harry Potter Universe! I just LOVE playing with the characters!
He watched her walking with Potter and the Weasel, laughing and joking with them, without a care in the world. It made his skin crawl, the way things had turned out. He knew that the wrong side won the war. He knew that the little bitch should be dead, along with her two little puppets.
He knew that Granger was the one really in charge. Most would say that Potter was, but he knew better. She called the shots and then the other two would quickly agree with her. As they walked by him, Draco turned away from them. He didn't want her to see him looking at her.
He knew that he was being paranoid, but he couldn't help it. Since the end of the war, she had been on his mind constantly. He didn't know why though. She was nothing, so plain, and yet for some strange reason he found her beautiful, and it made him angry beyond reason.
During the war, he had not really believed in it. He didn't really care about a persons blood statues, it didn't matter. In reality, it was only blood and they were still human. He had kept those thoughts through out it, and that was what made him help the Order in the end of it all.
His help insured safety for him and his mother as well, but not his father. Draco didn't mind though, Lucius was completely nuts. He followed Voldemort like a lost puppy. Draco was not upset that his father had refused the Orders help, or even that he tried to kill Draco before the Order had stepped in. He had always known that his father was bad. It didn't even really hurt him that he could not change him.
His father had tried desperately to push his own beliefs into Draco, but Draco had learned from his mother. She had taught him in the end, that no one deserved to be attacked over who their parents were.
So he had helped the Order, staying by Voldemort till the end, as a spy. His father had been Obliviated, or else that would have been the end of Draco. He remembered seeing his fathers face when Draco had turned his wand to him. At first Lucius had laughed it off, but then Draco's curse had hit him in the chest. Lucius looked at his son a second longer before Draco killed him.
When it was all finally over though, he had began to watch her. She thought she was so perfect and wonderful. He wanted to show her that she was nothing unless he allowed it. He wanted her to feel everything he had during the war. He wanted her to understand that she belonged to him.
Since the war, he had started a very strained friendship with her, and her two puppets, but it wasn't enough for him. He wanted her completely, and every time he seen the Weasel put his hands on her, it made him angry with her. How could she not see what it did to him?
So here he was three months into his last year of school, wanting nothing more then to make Granger see that she belonged to him and that she was nothing but filth.
Even in his own mind, he sounded insane. One part of him wanted to hurt her, to make her see that she was nothing more then a Mudblood. The other part, wanted to show her that she was the most special person in the world. He wanted to show her how good he would treat her. She was like a precious item that could not be replaced. He didn't know what he was becoming, but it scared even him. He didn't want to hurt her, but then again he did.
As he moved into the Great Hall behind Granger and her band of idiots, he heard her laugh again. He moved to the Slytherin table quickly, not being able to stand her laughter anymore.
"I wonder what has gotten into Malfoy." Ron said, looking over at the Slytherin table as they sat down at the Gryffindor table. "I don't know, has anyone talked to him lately?" Hermione asked, turning to look over at the Slytherin table too.
"Not really, you know how it is. We settled our differences, but we will never be buddies like that." Harry said. "Yeah, I mean after years of hating each other, we cant really just ignore it now can we?" Ron said.
Hermione shrugged and turned back to Ron and Harry. "I don't know, I just don't like to see any one look so lonely I guess." Hermione said. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't even seen him in their Head Common Room lately either.
She used to see him all the time. In the mornings when she came out of her room, at breaks, and after dinner. They would sometimes talk, or other times just sit in silence. Now that she thought about it, they hadn't spoken in almost a month.
At the end of the war, they had all put their differences aside and worked together to bring down Voldemort. After the war, they had all become a little closer. They were not exactly friends, but they were not enemies now at least.
They had spent years fighting, and now it just seemed that everyone was sick of the fighting. She couldn't deny it had been strange at first, but they had worked it out, and now it seemed that Draco Malfoy had a small piece of her heart. She always had a thing for lost causes, but now he wasn't really a lost cause. She wanted to be his friend, it would show that people truly change, and it can be for the better.
"Besides, you're the one that lives with him, shouldn't you talk to him more then anyone?" Ron asked, causing Hermione to let go of her thoughts. She looked up at him, hearing the anger in his voice a little, though he tried to hide it.
"No Ron, I don't live with him. We share a Common Room, but that is it. We haven't really spoken much in a while though." Hermione said. She didn't really feel like talking about this. Ron was a jealous person by nature, and if she were to say anything more, he might get mad and start a fight.
"Well you could say that you do live close enough to him." Ron said. "Ronald, please not today. I cant take this today." Hermione said, her temper getting the best of her. "I was only stating a fact Hermione." Ron said, his ears going red and his voice getting sharp. "Oh please Ron! Why don't you just tell the truth? You think that I am spending my nights snogging the likes of Malfoy!" Hermione said. She didn't know why she was so mad, but she was. She grabbed her things and left the dinner table without eating anything.
Draco watched her leave, wondering why the little bitch looked so mad all the time. He looked at the food on his plate, It didn't look very good to him now, so he decided to leave the hall. He took his time walking to the Head Common Room. If he was lucky, Granger would be in the restroom, or in her room, leaving him free to go to his room without having to look at her.
He couldn't figure it out, but if he looked at her, the thoughts in his head would clutter together and the only thing he could think of was her under him screaming. He wasn't sure weather it was from pain or pleasure, but he knew that it was one of the two, and he didn't want to have to think of that so much. He rolled his eyes at his own thoughts.
Of course he would have those thoughts. He dreamed of her every night, sometimes she was moaning in pure pleasure, while others she was crying and screaming for him to stop. Either way, he would wake up every morning so frustrated and turned on, he would have to take a cold shower.
By this time, he found himself outside their portrait hole. He murmured their password, Unity, and stepped into their Common Room. Shit, there she was, on the couch, reading a book. The angry look she had held earlier was gone and now replaced by a look of concentration.
He tried to walk through the room, and he almost made it to his room before she called out to him. "Malfoy?" She whispered. Damn it! He had almost made it to the door. He turned slowly back to her. "Yes?" He asked, a little more fiercely then he had meant.
"Um, I was just wondering if maybe you would like to join me? We haven't really spoken for a while, I thought we could, I don't know, catch up?" She said, inwardly hitting herself for sounding so unsure.
Draco looked at her as if she had grown two heads. He did not need this, not today. He couldn't spend time with her, he was too unstable. He tried to think of a good excuse to get away, but from the look on her face, he knew that she really wanted him too.
Sighing, he walked over to the couch and sat next to her, knowing he could not deny her such a little thing. "What is it you would like to catch up on then?" He asked looking at her. He hated the way he noticed all of her movements and all of her emotions. He wanted so much to hurt her and love her that he could hardly think of anything else.
"I was only wondering how you were. I wanted to make sure that you are still coping well. You have seemed so closed off lately, I was wondering if I could do anything that might help you out." Hermione said with a kind smile.
Draco's breath hitched, if only she truly knew what it was that was bothering him. "I don't really think that you would want to help me." Draco said, looking away from her. She was too innocent for her own good really. She had no idea what she had just said and how he wished he could take it.
"We are friends now, I want to help you! I don't want you to feel like you have to hide your feelings around me. I know that it might seem strange to you still, but I am here for you." She said softly.
He was being punished for his sins, he knew it. This was nothing but pure torture for him. He couldn't hold himself back much longer. If he didn't get out of here soon, he was going to snap and he would hurt her. He wasn't sure if that was what he wanted yet or not.
"Look, what I am going through, I have to do it on my own. I cant let you get involved, it could be dangerous." He said, still not looking at her.
Hermione thought of this for a moment. It was obvious that he was hurting and she wanted to help him. "Look, I know how you feel, I lost both of my parents in that stupid war. I can help you." She said, boldly reaching out and putting her hand over his.
Draco stood abruptly, moving away from her touch. "No you don't, you have no idea what is going on with me. I don't even know what it is. I feel like I am going crazy!" He said. When she had touched him, all he could think about was making her want him as much as he did her.
"Draco, please, just let me help you!" She said standing up next to him. She didn't know why, but she wanted to help him. "You have no idea what you are saying. If you knew what has been on my mind lately, you would be running away as fast as you can!" He yelled at her now.
Something was waking up in him now and it was angry. She thought that she could help him? She had no idea what was going on!
"Then let me be the judge of that! Let me in, that's all I ask." Hermione said sadly. That did it. Draco could not take it any more. He took the last step towards her and attacked her mouth with his.
At first Hermione just stood there, too shocked to even move. How could it be real? Draco Malfoy was kissing her! She knew that she should pull away, but it felt so good. Not like the way it felt with Ron. Ron was sloppy and only tried to grope her, knowing she wasn't ready for that yet. Before she knew it, she was kissing him back with as much as need as he was.
Draco was surprised when she kissed him back, but quickly came to himself again. She was so soft and warm that he knew that he wanted her. He deepened the kiss and pushed her back onto the couch, wanting more. He moved his hands up her waist and pulled her into his lap.
Hermione began to get slightly uncomfortable of things when she felt him getting hard. She tried to pull away, but he held her there. She tried to push harder, but he pulled her tighter to him. Her warning bells were starting to go off when he didn't stop.
When he moved away from her lips and onto her neck, she took her chance. "Draco, we have to stop. We are going to fast, I have a boyfriend. I can't do this to Ron." Hermione said sadly.
He stopped for a moment and looked up at her. Her relief was short lived though, when he opened his mouth. "Do not say that name again. I do not want you to say his name, ever." He said deadly.
Hermione looked at him in shock. "You can't tell me who to talk to or about Malfoy! I wouldn't listen to you anyways." She said hotly.
Draco felt his temper rise and knew that he had finally lost his control. In one swift moment he moved and he was on top of her in an instant.
Hermione felt terror start to rise in her as she yelled out in pain when she hit her head on the arm of the couch. What the hell was he doing?
"Listen to me very well Granger, the only problem I have had lately is you. I cant stop thinking about you. I want you so much, but at the same time I want you to hurt. I cant control myself around you anymore. You belong to me, and if you speak to or about that Weasel ever again, there will be consequences." He said angrily before kissing her hard again.
Hermione was terrified to say the least. She couldn't believe that this was even happening to her right now. She felt something for him, but now she was to afraid to even speak. When his hand began to unbutton her shirt, a tear began to fall. "Please, don't do this to me Draco!" She cried softly when he released her mouth again.
Draco did not have a chance to respond though. A knock at the portrait hole told them someone was there. "Hermione! I need to talk to you. It is important." Ron's voice came from the other side.
Hermione had never been so happy to hear his voice in her life. "Get rid of him, and come straight back in. If you say anything then I will kill you and him." Draco said, the monster in him now at the surface. Hermione almost started to sob at the tone he used. She quickly stepped away from him when he let her, closing her buttons on her shirt.
Hermione reached to her pocket, trying to find her wand, planning on an escape, but it wasn't there. "Looking for this love?" Draco said from behind her. She looked behind her to see him holding her wand in his hand. She let out a whimper as Ron knocked again. "Your not getting away this time." Draco whispered before pushing her toward the door.
Hermione took a deep breath before opening the portrait hole for Ron. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked when he seen her tears. Hermione tried to make her tone normal as possible before she spoke. "Yes, just missing my parents." She lied. Ron stepped into the room and hugged her tight. "I'm so sorry Hermione. I should have known earlier, when you were so distant earlier." He said. Hermione could see Draco's face and saw the murder in his eyes. It terrified her, but in a way it also made her excited. She could not comprehend the feelings she was having, she just wanted to get away from him.
"You wanna go for a walk around the lake or something? Try to clear your head?" Ron asked. Hermione knew that she was playing with death itself, but she had to get away. She looked up at Draco, whose face told her to decline. "I will see you later, we can finish our um conversation later." She said before pulling Ron out of the room before she heard the first soft thump.
She knew that Draco was beyond angry now, but she wasn't going to get raped ever. She couldn't even believe him right now. What had he been thinking?
"What was that?" Ron asked turning back toward the portrait hole. "It doesn't matter, lets go to the Gryffindor Common Room instead, I haven't been there forever it seems." Hermione said and they hurried off. Hermione knew that Ron thought she had lost it, when she all but ran there, but she didn't care. He had no idea what had almost just happened.
A part of her knew that she should tell him, but the other part was to afraid of the consequences.
Once they made it to the Common Room, she calmed down a little, being surrounded by her friends, but still she was terrified to what she was going to meet when she got back later that night. By midnight, she was absolutely terrified. She knew that she would have to go back tonight and knew that it would be soon. She held onto her friends as long as she could until finally Ron decided to escort her back to her room. Any other time, she would have refused, but after what had happened earlier, she needed to hold on to the familiar a bit longer. She knew that Draco would be waiting for her and that he would be terrifyingly angry, but she still could not say anything, so she walked hand in hand with Ron, wondering if this would be the last time she ever seen him again.
When they made it to the portrait hole Ron pulled her into a sloppy kiss. Tonight she let him, knowing that what was coming was so much worse. When he finally let go of her, she was shaking, trying to keep the tears away.
"Are you okay Hermione?" He asked concerned. "Yes I am okay, I will see you tomorrow." She said, trying to keep her voice as normal as possible. "Okay goodnight Hermione." He said, kissing her once more before disappearing down the hall.
Hermione felt the tears come as she watched him go before turning toward the portrait hole. "Unity." She said, through a half sob. She stepped in, knowing that he was waiting for her.
As soon as the portrait hole shut, she was slammed against it. Her head banged against the frame, making her see dots and the wind was knocked out of her. She cried out in pain, but it was swallowed by another scream when his hand came to her throat.
Draco was so angry he could literally see red. She had deliberately left, knowing that he wanted her stay. She was either very stupid, or else she didn't understand how serious he really was.
"You completely ignored a demand." he said pushing her up against the wall. He released her throat and grabbed her waist hard, screaming in her face. "Please just let me go Draco. I wont tell anyone, just stop this now." Hermione whispered through tears.
He looked at her for a moment before answering her. "We both know its too late for that now." he whispered. Hermione began to sob as he tried to kiss her again. She was so stupid, why she came back, she didn't know. A part of her had wanted to stop him, wanted to help him. That was what made her come back, but know she knew that he was passed talking.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left, I should have tried to help you." She said. He looked up at her for a moment before finally losing it all. He hit her in the face. It surprised him more then anything. He was disgusted with himself, but he didn't care.
Hermione began to sob harder now. She knew that she should have told someone, anyone. "Draco please, don't do this to me." She whispered now. He laughed at her while pulling her to her feet. He pulled her though the room and into his room. Once there, he locked the door with his wand and then threw hers, and his wand away from the both of them.
He pushed her hard onto the bed, and pulled himself on top of her. She tried desperately now to get up, but he held her arms over her head with one of his, while the other, ripped her shirt open. He kissed her feverishly, all of his sense going away from him. All he wanted was to cause her pain now. He didn't care if he spent the rest of his life regretting this night, he needed her now.
Hermione tried to not think about what was happening, but of course she couldn't. He was all over her. No matter how much she cried or begged him, he didn't listen. She didn't dare look into his eyes, afraid that she would see the madness that consumed him now.
"You deserve this. If you had just stayed it wouldn't have been this bad. You made me do this!" He screamed at her, making Hermione close into herself. She knew that this wasn't her fault, but a part of her thought that maybe it really was. Maybe if she would have stayed, it would have been less painful, less scary for her.
Draco ran his hands over her almost naked body, loving how soft she felt. He wanted to break her, but he also wanted to love her. It confused him beyond belief, so he tried to ignore his thoughts for the time being. When he finally tore her panties off, he sat up, straddling her. He looked over her sobbing form, getting harder at the sight.
A large part of him was disgusted that this turned him on, but a small part of him didn't even care anymore. All he knew is how much he needed her right now.
"Please, just stop it. I don't want this and you know it." Hermione sobbed underneath him. He smirked at her, pulling his shirt off.
"If you didn't want this, then you should have stayed away you little bitch." Draco whispered cruelly. "I wanted to help you! You are pathetic! I hate you, you are nothing to me! I will never want you after this!" She screamed, using the rest of her energy.
His temper rose again as he tore off the rest of his clothes. "No, you are the pathetic one. You believe the best in everyone, even if its not there." He yelled, pulling her thighs apart now.
He positioned himself, knowing that she was not ready for him, but did not care. He wanted her to feel the pain. He looked up at her, and for a moment he wanted to stop. The pain and hurt in her eyes made him hate himself. How could he have let it come to this?
"I'm sorry it came to this." He whispered softly, some of his sense coming back to him. "Then stop, please, I can help you. Just let me go now! I wont tell anyone I swear!" Hermione said, finally looking into his eyes, begging him.
"You still don't get it do you?" He whispered harshly, wanting so bad to just do it. "You are what is messing with my head! You are all I think about! I want you so much, to love you, to hurt you, either way I cant stop now, not until you are mine!" He said, his anger returning to him.
Hermione couldn't believe his words. She knew that it was so wrong, but it made her feel so bad for him. She looked at him for a moment, studying his face and realized he spoke the truth. She could see the broken and torn man in his eyes, and it made this worth it in a way. She knew that she could help in time, if she lived that long.
"Okay, I will help you then." She whispered and brought his head down to kiss her. He groaned, knowing now for some very messed up reason, she would forgive him for this. He knew that she might change her mind in the minutes that were about to come, but right now, it helped him.
He pulled up and looked at her face again and realized that she knew that things were about to get really bad. He couldn't make himself stop as he pushed into her hard. He knew as soon as he started that she was a virgin. He tried to calm himself down, but he couldn't. He pushed harder and broke the hymen, feeling better then any other time in his life.
She screamed in pain, holding onto him tightly. Again her tortured cry urged him on. It was something that he couldn't get away from. The pain in her voice made him want it more. He pushed in harder as she sobbed into his shoulder.
He didn't give her time to adjust, and it felt like she was being ripped apart. She found herself begging him again. "Please, god stop, I cant do this. It hurts to much please!" She screamed, trying to get away from him again. He gripped her hips tightly, knowing he was going to leave bruises.
"I wont let you go! You are mine, no one will ever touch you again, no one but me." He screamed, letting the beast in him lose control completely now. He took her at an agonizingly fast pace. Hermione was almost sure that she was going to die. By this point she was in so much pain she was sure she was going to pass out before he was finished. She could feel her blood running out of her onto him and the sheets. "Please." She whispered, feeling like she was dieing.
"I'm so sorry, I cant stop. I love you!" He cried out as she slowly faded out. She heard him, and it broke her heart because she didn't think that she could ever love him now, not after this.
He watched as she fell into nothingness as he emptied himself into her. He had never felt so good and yet so bad in his whole life. He rolled off of her trying to catch his breath. When he finally did, he looked at her broken and bloody form. That was the worst thing he could have done.
He jumped off the bed, panicked now. He couldn't even believe himself. She looked horrifying. She had bruises all over her, and blood still coming out of her. He rushed for his wand and began healing her, tears coming to his eyes. He couldn't believe he had let this happen. He knew now that he didn't want her to feel pain, he wanted to love her.
When the blood and most of the bruises were gone, he dropped his wand, feeling like death. He gently got into bed with her and pulled the covers over them both. He pulled her to him, cuddling her into him, trying to take the pain away.
Draco couldn't believe that he had actually done it. He knew know that something dark was inside of him. Maybe he was more like his father then he believed. The thought made him shiver and pull Hermione closer. He didn't want to be like that man. He wanted to be good for her.
Draco lay there for a couple of hours, waiting for her to wake up. It was a very good chance that she would run from him, and he wouldn't stop her. After what he had done, he would never blame her for leaving him alone.
Hermione slowly came to, trying to put together where she was and what happened. As she shifted slightly, she felt the pain between her thighs, and started to remember what had happened.
She felt arms around her, making her feel warm and safe, until she opened her eyes, seeing who it was holding her. She stopped the cry from coming out, making it into a small whimper, hoping he didn't hear. Of course as soon as he heard the small noise and felt her movement he snapped his eyes open.
For a long moment, they laid there looking at each other, neither knowing what was going to happen now.
Draco was the one to finally break the silence, "If you want to, I will let you leave now. I wont try to stop you." He said sadly, knowing she would run from him.
Hermione knew that any normal, sane person would take this chance now to get away from this monster, but not her. She still wanted to help him, she didn't want him to have to go through all of this alone anymore.
She moved to get up, and he released her, feeling the dread wash over him. She didn't look at him as she went for her clothes and her wand. After she was dressed enough for her to feel comfortable, she turned back to him
Hermione saw the look on his face and knew that he thought she was leaving him. The normal, sane part of her wanted desperately to run away. He had raped her and hit her and yet something kept her there.
She came back to sit next to him now, wanting to assure him that she was going to stay. He looked up at her in shock, not daring to believe that it was okay. "Aren't you going now?" He asked a little more viciously then he intended. Hermione shrank back away from him, but shook her head. "I told you I would help you, and I stand by my words." She said stubbornly.
Something in Draco made him angry with her for being so stupid. "Do you not understand it? You are the reason for all of this. I am obsessed and I cant stop myself from hurting you if you stay." He said, now furious with her. Did she not see the danger she was in around him. He knew now that he could not control himself, and it scared the hell out of him.
"Maybe we can come to an agreement of some sort. There has to be something that I can do that will help." Hermione said, putting her hand in his. "Hermione, we both know what I want. I cant do that to you again, it will kill me." He said gripping her hand tightly.
He didn't want to lose her, but he didn't think that he could forgive himself for what he did, and he certainly didn't want her to forgive him. "Then don't do it again. Don't hurt me, you can be with me and not hurt me. If you really love me then you wont hurt me again." Hermione said, feeling like she had lost her mind. She shouldn't even be considering this. What about Ron? She shook her thoughts away, she didn't want Ron. This time with Draco made her realize that she didn't love Ron. She wasn't sure if she love Draco, but something had to be there for her to come back to him, and after, staying with him.
He looked at her as if she had grown two heads. Was she really saying what he thought she might be saying? "Hermione, I don't know about this, I mean it just seems, strange." He said, not wanting to get his hopes up.
"I came back here last night knowing what was going to happen. I let you do this to me. It makes me wonder why." She said truthfully.
At that moment a loud knock came from the Common Room. "Hermione? Are you going to stay in there all day? Come on, we were supposed to go to Hogsmeade today!" Ron's voice came to them, muffled by the distance. Hermione shot off the bed in an instant and looked around at Draco. Draco just sat there, hating that she remembered that she was in another relationship now.
"I'll be back in a moment. There is something I need to do." Hermione said softly before exiting the room. Draco followed behind her, afraid of what was about to happen.
He stood there behind the couch listening to her conversation with the Weasel. "Ron, I don't think I am going to go with you today." Hermione said, not looking at him. She loved him, but now she knew that only as a friend, not anything else. "Okay babe, then I will see you later then?" He asked, not getting her vibes.
"Ron, I don't think that this is working out. I think that maybe we were just better as friends." She said boldly. At first, Ron looked like he was in shock, then he began to get red. "Why is that Hermione? You were just fine last night when I left you here last night, what happened between then and now?" Ron asked, knowing that it had to have something to do with the ferret.
"Ron, nothing happened, I just really don't think that I can go on like this. I love you, but not in the romantic kind of way. You have always been like a brother to me, and I just don't think that I can go on with you, knowing that." Hermione said, trying to reason with him.
Of course his temper got the best of him, but after a long pause, he shook his head at her. "Fine Hermione, just be careful okay? I know what is going on, and I just want you to be careful. I'll be waiting for you, when you decide that you are ready." Ron said, trying to control his temper that was ready to explode. "Thank you for being so understanding, but I don't think that we could ever be anything more then friends Ron." She said, trying to make him see that it was not going to happen.
After a long moment he finally nodded and left without another word. Hermione watched him go for a moment before closing the door. She turned to Draco and was greeted with a soft kiss. She kissed him back, wanting to feel him in a different way then last night.
"I thought you were going to change your mind." Draco said when they finally broke apart. "I told you, I am here for you. We can try this, but if something like what happened last night ever happens again, I am walking away. I will never come back to you if you do." She said softly. Draco kissed her again, "Never again." He whispered.