[A/N: I was feeling so random and stupid that I decided to make my own. Enjoy!]

Disclaimer: Higuchi Tachibana is a straight-up genius for creating Gakuen Alice; therefore I did not, because I am not genius enough to make something this cool. This applies to this entire series, because I don't feel like writing this how many times I probably will have to.

Know Your Stars!

~*~

Victim #1: Mikan Sakura...

Mikan walked into the room. She was sort of nervous. There was a single spotlight with a chair in the middle of it, as if light from the heavens was shining down upon it. She sat down and fidgeted. Why was she here, anyway?

She jumped as a deep voice rang out:

Know your stars...know your stars...know your stars...

"Eh?" Mikan said.

Mikan...wishes every tree in the world was named after her...

"What? I do not! Who are you?" Mikan exclaimed.

Mikan...thinks that even God made mistakes regarding her birth...

"WHAT?! What's that supposed to mean, creep?!"

Mikan...likes to drink her milkshakes through her nose...

"SHUT UP!!! I do not! These are the lamest insults I've ever heard!" Mikan exclaimed as she got up to find the door but was only surrounded by darkness. "Let me out of here!"

Not so fast, Mandarin Orange.

"D-don't call me that!!" Mikan yelled. "My name is MIKAN!"

Mandarin Oranges...takes a secret seductive pleasure when Natsume calls her Polka Dots...

"I hate it when he calls me that!! Stop lying!!!"

Yeah, right, Polka dots. Speaking of Natsume, Mikan...wets her panties when she thinks of him...

"..." Mikan's face flushed bright red.

I thought so. Mikan...wishes she were Aeries from Final Fantasy VII...

"Who the heck is Aeries?!" Mikan screeched as Aeries walked out.

"I didn't know you had such a strong desire to be me, Sakura..." she said. "But you really should stick to reality." Mikan watched, dumbfounded, as she disappeared into a heavenly light.

Heh heh...that was fun.

"This is SO not fun!! You only think it's fun because YOU'RE the one making the insults, you...you...you MAKESHIFT GOD!!!"

*horrified gasp* How could you say something like that? I am the one who rules this place!

"Yeah, like I'm supposed to believe you. God probably just had to take a break and you walked in his office by mistake and locked the door."

Oh really now? Then let's see how you like this. Mikan...wears a mask year round to make people think she's pretty...

Mikan looked flabbergasted. "I DO NOT!!!!"

Mikan...takes rap lessons from Ne-Yo...

"WHAT?!?!?!" Mikan hollered. "That's the LAST person I'd want to take rap lessons from!"

How funny...because we happen to have Ne-Yo right here. He says that you sucked donkey crap anyways.

Mikan gasped. "He DID?! NE-YO, YOU TRAITOR---I-I mean, how could he say that?! I don't even know him!"

That's what I expected. Mikan...looks like an overstuffed orangutan's pink shiny butt...

"SHUT UP!!!" Mikan began to curse loudly and openly, saying every single one that came to mind.

What a potty mouth. I bet you don't talk to your mother like that.

"No duh I don't! One, because she's hardly ever around! And two, she'd slap me if I did!!"

So doing naughty things behind her back...what an irresponsible ignorant child.

"You're probably no older than I am! Or even better, if you are, you're an ancient old crone!!!"

Mikan...makes out with herself...

Mikan was so mad she couldn't even speak.

Look at the babbling idiot. She can hardly form words. Let's all point and laugh at her. Ha ha ha!

"D-don't laugh at me you old crackerbox!"

Is that the best you can do? Mikan...purposely flashes her panties at Natsume to arouse him...

Mikan popped a hundred veins. "There is no way I would do anything to arouse that conceited jerk!"

That's not what he says. In fact, he says that you even took your skirt off one time.

"HE'S A LIAR!!!!!!" Mikan didn't know how much more she could handle.

Mikan...considers doing a strip tease in front of the entire class...

"I AM NOT A PERVERT!!!"

Mikan...tries to lure Natsume into her room at night...

"THAT'S IT!!!" Mikan jumped up and searched frantically for an exit.

Mikan...thinks that Ruka is the gayest boy to ever walk the planet...

"I DO NOT!"

Mikan...has had fifty plastic surgeries done in the past month...

"You probably did!!"

Mikan...thinks that pigtails make her look like a woman...

"WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!?!?!"

Mikan...likes to lick dirty refridgerators...

"JUST FREAKING SHUT UP!!!"

Mikan...steals candy from homeless babies...

"SHUT UP YOU UGLY RETARDED LOSER!!!"

Mikan...wishes she were a boy so she could go out with Hotaru...

At last, Mikan burst into tears. "Let me go!" she begged. "Just let me go! Please! I just want to go home!" She cried harder.

Without another word another light shone, this time on the other side of the room, revealing a door with a green exit sign on it. Mikan ran out of it crying, and that was that.

I leaned casually against the railing. "Finally," I said. "That took way too long. I thought she'd never shut up. She had the lamest insults I've ever heard."

My stage hand and right hand man, Kyo, nodded. "Got too big of a mouth," he muttered.

"Oh well." I turned around. "Bring in the next victim---err, contender."

Ha ha. This one wasn't that funny. The next one will be funnier, I promise. Because we all know who's going to get tortured---I mean, questioned---next.

I was feeling so random. And I've always wanted to write one of these. Now I had the chance to. XD I basically made it because I felt like harassing the Gakuen Alice characters. I plan to do one for just about every character.

See that green button? Yes, that one. Guide your mouse down to it carefully and click.

Thanks for reading.

~Ariisha-chan