OK, I have no idea why I went and wrote this, but I did. And now I'm posting it. There will probably be four chapters, but that may all change.
HELP: All my summaries/titles suck. If you can think of any better titles/summaries for any of my stories then please tell me.
Oh, yeah, REVIEW THIS, DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Many years ago, before I was forged, some rings where made. Three for the elves, seven for the dwarves and nine for the mortal men (doomed to die). But the Great Forger forged another - me!!! I was the Great Ring of Power, the One Ring. Still am, in fact.
Then darkness invaded Middle Earth. Lots of people fought a lot of other people and a lot of these people died.
A final big battle took place. Bigger than all the others. In it, the final alliance of elves and men (they all look the same to me), the Great Forger had the hand on which I was chopped off by this bloke. He crumbled to ashes in front of my Ringly personage (I'd say eyes, but I kinda don't have any).
The bloke who killed the Great Forger nicked off with me and used me often to become invisible. But one day when he was swimming in a river, I slipped off to go to this party, and he was kinda killed. My existence seems to revolve around death. It's a most inconvenient habit living creatures seem to have developed.
I hung around on the bottom of the river, making many friends with the fishes, rocks and electric eels until some hobbit picked me up.
He then proceeded to fall out with another hobbit who then killed him. And nicked off with me. People just keep nicking me!!!
So he dragged me around and used my wondrous powers to eavesdrop!!! The cheek! Eventually, he fell out with some other hobbits and took me to a dark cave. He then stayed there, talking to himself and me in dreadful English. I was quite appalled. Also, I never knew that hobbits went senile so quickly.
After he'd reduced himself to a creepy *THING*, I ran off with some other hobbit who just wandered into this cave. It's amazing how hobbits get around.
Anyway, he used me to steal all this really exquisite treasure from this old dragon. Honestly, do these young mortals have no respect for their elders and, therefore, betters?
All kinds of tedious things happened that really aren't worth going into, but basically this hobbit (Bilbo Badass or something) returned to his home, the Shire (this really pointless place were hobbits live).
And I stayed there, in his pocket (of all the disrespectful places to put me!) being used occasionally for really menial matters.
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So, what do you think?
Weird, I know.
Please Review!
I like Reviews!
They make me happy!
You want to make me happy, right?!
You don't want to upset me………