Just another day at the dispatch association…
"Senpai! Sutcliff-senpai!"
Grell looked up from his papers confusedly, not used to being called 'senpai'. He looked ahead of him to see the new guy, Ronald Knox, wading through cubicles in a desperate attempt to find Grell's. He still wasn't quite familiar with the office yet, having just become a shinigami. Personally, Grell still didn't understand why he wanted a LAWNMOWER for a death scythe, but being called 'senpai' made up for it a little.
"Over here." Grell said, waving to get Ronald's attention. The younger shinigami came up panting.
"What is it, Knox?" Grell asked, trying to act nonchalant.
"Um… I need your help with… um…"
Grell Laughed. "If it's paperwork, even you know I suck."
"No, not exactly… um, how do I say this… I have someone that I… like…"
"Oh, THAT."
"Yeah… so, how do I, like, impress him?"
"It's a him! Of course I can help!" Grell brightened up immediately. This boy had come to the right woman. He suddenly liked this new guy.
Grell left his half-finished paperwork on the desk and grabbed Ronald's arm, pulling him to the break room.
/
They sat down on the uniform white lounge chairs in the break room. Grell was excited- he finally had someone to talk about cute boys with!
"So… what's he look like?" Grell asked excitedly.
Ronald blushed slightly as he remembered his crush. "Well, I'm not sure if it'll work out… he's my superior…"
"Oh, hon, that's nothing to worry about! Tell me more!" Grell started thinking of his own dreamy superior.
"Well, he's really tall, like, taller than you and me. He's got short hair but it's not like really short- sort of like that demon you keep telling everyone about. It's also the same color."
This was great, Grell thought. Man, Ronald knew how to pick them. But, it was only fair that Ronald got first try at seducing his crush. Now came the love advice Grell had so anticipated giving.
"So… what do I do?" Ronald asked cautiously.
"Well, hon, number 1 rule is NEVER GIVE UP. I know- I've been working on my crush for hundreds of years."
"Has it progressed any?"
Grell flinched at what he saw as a pretty rude question. But he let it slide. "Th-that's not the point! The point is, love always wins! You just gotta keep trying! Get it?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Great. Rule number 2 is this: the term "personal space" refers to privacy in the bathroom, and does not apply to when your love is out of the bathroom. Nudge them, hug them, hold hands, link arms- any physical contact helps the process. Are you getting all this, hon?"
Ron nodded and kept his eyes fixed on Grell, absorbing every word.
"Also, he'll have no choice but to come see you if you DON'T DO YOUR WORK. It's not generally a good rule to skimp on work, I know, but for love's sake this is essential. They won't have any choice but to come and talk to you, and to spend even 5 minutes with you. Works every time. And that's rule number 3, if you were keeping track."
"Yep."
"Good job."
"Just one question, though."
"Go ahead and ask me anything, hon."
"Won't I get in trouble? All of those instructions are breaking the shinigami rules of conduct- I should know, I memorized them all."
Grell never bothered to keep track of the rules of conduct- they were just so boring. The only ones he knew by heart were the ones William kept telling him he was breaking. So far, they never really mattered. Not that a new guy would know that.
"Oh, hon, it's all for love. Work is just work- boring stuff that you try to get out of your way as soon as possible. Believe me, love lasts a lot longer." He started thinking about William again, and soon became lost in his thoughts.
"Well, I, uh, better get going… thanks for the help, senpai."
"No problem." Grell said, but he looked a bit distant now, thinking things that probably don't belong in a T-rated story. He sat there for a few more minutes before William yelled at him to get back to work.