Hermione and Ginny are invited for a night of surprise when Hermione and Ginny finds out what really happens in the Order of the Phoenix.
Women of the Order
"I thought in the Order we actually talked about strategies, targets and stuff like that. Not go in the kitchen and talk."
"Look Ginny." Minerva took a seat. "Sometimes being stuck in that room with the men for too long will cause brain damage."
"Besides." Tonks sat the opposite side of Minerva and put her feet up on the table. "It's nice to just relax every once an a while." Molly hit her boots and Tonks took her feet off the table.
"What do we talk about?" Hermione asked taking a seat next to Minerva.
"Well the men of course." Molly smiled as she brought out pie and forks. Molly sat next to her daughter and Tonks.
"Alright who first?"
"I have a question for Hermione and Ginny." Minerva smiled. "Have either of you two sleep with Severus?"
"WHAT!"
"EWWW!"
The rest of them laughed. "I'm guessing that's a no."
""I'm with Ron. Why would I want to go to bed with that greasy git any way?" Hermione said.
"Because he's great when it comes to sex." Tonks took a bit of pie.
"And he's a luring, dark, handsome man." Minerva added.
"Did you two? You know." Ginny smiled.
"Oh yeah." Tonks began to laugh. "Of course I've only had him once. Your strict professor over there has had him countless of times."
"Minerva?" Hermione couldn't believe that her once favorite teacher would do such a thing.
"Severus and I go though that on and off dating."
"But he's Snape." Ginny said.
"Oh please. Don't think your mother didn't do it too."
"Mom?" Ginny looked at her Molly turned red. "You told me that you were with dad ever since Hogwarts"
"Well Author never wanted to tell you that me and your dad split up for about two weeks before we even started having children."
"That is so gross." Ginny covered her face.
"I think it's hilarious." Hermione laughed. "You have to tell me more."
"Well when Author and I split up I went a night out with Minerva. She told me if I wanted comfort then I should go to Severus, and I did."
"So you weren't dating him at that time Minerva?" Hermione asked.
"No. I was sleeping with Albus at the time."
"I thought he was gay." Ginny said
"There was a time that he wasn't.' Minerva took a bite of her pie.
"He was straight when he and Minerva got together. Minerva later broke his heart and he swore never to love another woman again." Tonks giggled.
"Why did you dump him?"
"Severus asked me if I wanted to marry him."
"Did he really?"
"Yes but then I broke it off."
"Why?"
"I was confused. He's asked me to marry him at least six times and I've said no."
"Are you dating him now?"
"I just finished dating Kingsley Shacklebolt. I have to wait for a few days before I try to start something with Severus again."
"You're such a whore." Hermione was shocked.
"Oh please. I'm not a whore. Whore would do you for money. I'm more of a slut." Minerva smiled.
"What other men have you slept with?" Ginny asked
"Oh we'll be here all night!" Tonks teased. Minerva gave her a warning look and turned to Ginny.
"First of all there are probably ten people when I was at school that you wouldn't know, so I won't tell you their names. I've slept with Fudge, which is why Delores Umbridge hates me with the passion. I have slept with Kingsley, Dumbledore, and Severus as you already know. I've slept with Hagrid. I think you'll remember when I drunk just a bit too much during that Christmas party?" Hermione and Ginny nodded when a vision of Minerva blushing when Hagid had kissed her. "There were a few Ministry men that I've slept with. And I've also slept with Tom Riddle." She said his name quickly but Hermione and Ginny still heard and gasped.
"Tom Riddle." Hermione repeated.
"Voldemort? You got funky with Voldemort?" Ginny questioned.
"It was when I was a school girl." Minerva protested. "I was three years older than him and he was quite the charmer."
"That's just terrible." Ginny said.
"How do you feel knowing that you had sex with the soon to be evil, mastermind?"
"I really haven't thought about it." Minerva said.
"Shhh!" Molly stopped them. "Code red!" She whispered.
"So how are the kids Molly?" Minerva asked.
"Well they have been darlings. They haven't argued with me at all about degnoming the lawn all this month." Molly answered looking wearily at the door. Hermione and Ginny looked at each other.
"Will you be having any children Hermione?" Minerva asked. Hermione blushed.
"Well yes in the future but I think it is a bit to early to say." Hermione turned to Molly who gave her a thumbs up.
"Alright. The cost is clear." Molly relaxed taking a sip of her tea.
"What was that about?" Ginny asked.
"Every now and again, one of the guys will sneak to the doors to see what we're up to." Tonks answered.
"They send one man out because they get suspicious. They're afraid we might be talking about them." Minerva took a huge bite of her pie. Molly nodded her head.
"I'm ever so fortunate to have found a pair of George's ears last week."
"Why does it matter what they hear?" Hermione wondered
"Do you know what it's like to have to argue with you husband because he's overheard you talking about how good he is in bed?" Molly asked
"Or that we know all of the men's secrets?" Tonks drank the last of her tea filling in up again.
"Women know everything because the pass the gossip around." Minerva said. "If Severus knew that I told you about him loving romance novels, he'd kill me."
"Or if I told you that Remus is afraid to have sex because he howls and is afraid he'll wake the neighbors." Tonks giggled.
"Why not use a silence charm?"
"Obviously you've never heard him howl." Tonks smiled.
"So Molly what is one of Arthur's secrets?" Hermione asked.
"If it has anything to do with sex. I don't want to know."
"Well then let me think."
"Ginny let her tell one. Other wise there isn't anything to tell." Tonks said. Ginny swallowed.
"Fine but make it clean."
"Arthur would just die if I told you that he likes me to use the whip on him." Molly blushed. Ginny gave a disgusted face.
"I said clean." Ginny tried to clear images from her mind.
"Believe me darling, that was clean compared to the other things I could have told you." Molly said laughing with the others watching Ginny looking as if she was going to be sick.
"Can we clear away from sex for a while so I can eat my pie?"
"Oh course dear." Molly said patting her daughter on the shoulder.
"So how's you mother Tonks?" Minerva asked.
"She's fine but dad has been driving her crazy about aunt Narcissa staying there."
"She's staying at her sister's house? Why?" Hermione asked.
"Cissa has left Lucius."
"Why?" Ginny asked.
"She said that he must be cheating on her with Bellatrix."
"Poor dear." Molly said.
"Do you think he would?" Hermione asked.
"No ones really sure. I think that Lucius would never do such a thing. When he was a student he could have any girl and yet he picked the only girl that hated him with the passion." Minerva said.
"It's just another slip. It happens in most marriages." Tonks smiled.
"Have you and Remus have ever been suspicious of each other?" Hermione finished her pie.
"The only time we ever fight is when he thinks he not good enough for me. And when we argue whether or not to have sex." Tonks looked at Ginny. "Sorry Gin."
"As long as it's not being described, I am fine."
"How does you parents feel about him being a werewolf?" Hermione asked.
"Well my mom thinks it's cute and is like a fairytale. Dad however isn't keen on the idea but he has been polite enough to stay out of it."
"I think you do that old grump good." Minerva said. "It's such a shame that Greyback had cursed him with something like that."
"I agree. I heard that Severus is trying very hard to conduct his own potion to try and cure him." Molly gave herself and Minerva more pie.
"I thought Snape hated Lupin." Ginny said.
"Severus is a kind man at heart. But he feels it better to stay away from people so he doesn't get attached to anyone. It's less painful if they die." Minerva said. "Wouldn't even know that Hermione was his favorite student."
"I was his favorite student." Hermione smiled brightly.
"And he hated it." Minerva smiled. "What you really should do is go up to him and say I always knew I was your favorite. That would shut him up for a whole night."
"You know for someone you have a relationship with, you pick on Severus a lot." Molly said.
"That's how it is. It's a Gryffindor and Slytherin thing." Minerva said.
"Next time he asks you to marry him, you should." Tonks said.
"Why?"
"Because it would be a shocker for everyone." Tonks giggled. "It would defiantly be something to see your previous lovers' faces."
"And it would save other women of falling for the dark potions master." Hermione said.
"And you would have him all to yourself." Ginny said.
"Enough of Severus. It's boring me." Minerva said.
"Fine then. Who will we talk about?" Molly looked at everyone to see if they had any suggestions.
"Have you heard that Lockhart is out of the hospital? His memory has finally came back." Hermione said.
"How wonderful." Minerva said sarcastically.
"I remember when Mum and Hermione crushed over him." Ginny said.
"Are you two blind?" Tonks looked at Hermione and the Molly as if they were stupid. "That sparkling glamour king was gay."
"He is not." Molly protested.
"He wore glitter and wore makeup." Minerva said.
"So? Some men were makeup because they take pride in their looks." Hermione said. Hermione nor Molly thought Lockhart was attractive now but neither one of them thought it possible that they were attracted to someone who was gay.
"Hermione. Believe me when I say Lockhart is gay. He's tried to sleep with all male staff at Hogwarts when he took the DADA position."
"Please tell me Lockhart and Dumbledore had a bit of bum time." Hermione said. "I couldn't look at Dumbledore the same if he did that." Ginny nodded her head in agreement.
"I'm happy to say he didn't" Minerva smiled. "But they are friends. They use to go shopping together."
"Is Dumbledore with anyone?" Ginny asked.
"I think he's with Sirius. Isn't he Tonks?"
"I think so." Tonks answered
"Sirius is gay?" Ginny was surprised.
"No he's bisexual." Tonks clearified.
"I've never understood how a man could go from one to the other." Ginny said.
"That reminds me. Rolanda had something to tell me today." Minerva looked at her watch. "She's probably already in bed though."
"Rolanda is bisexual?" Ginny asked.
"Well it's good for a lot of people. She is wonderful in bed."
"You would know." Tonks snorted. "You've slept with her too."
"But you didn't mention her when you said the others." Ginny said.
"Because you asked which men have I've slept with. Not men and women." Minerva said. "You don't have a problem with being in the presence of a bisexual are you?"
"No." Ginny said. "I just think being gay or bisexual is weird."
"Oh then you should be surprised to find your mother is a bisexual."
"Mom?" Ginny looked at her mother.
"There is nothing wrong with your mother being bisexual Ginny."
"Did you sleep with Minerva?"
"I thought you didn't want to talk about sex Ginny." Molly looked at her lap.
"Oh Merlin!" Ginny shouted. Hermione and Tonks both laughed.
"I was experimenting." Molly defended herself. "And if you decide to experiment I suggest that you experiment with Minerva or Rolanda." Molly said talking to both Hermione and Ginny.
"Why?" Hermione asked. Ginny plugged her ears not wanting to hear anymore.
"Because I know they are both clean and if you want to see if you like women or not, you might as well try with a pro." Hermione bit her lip trying not to laugh.
"Ginny it's okay we're done." Tonks shook Ginny slightly and she looked up and unplugged her ears.
"I thought being a member of the Phoenix would be fun, not horrifying."
"Then join the men."
"Oh please. They're twice as dirty then women can be."
"You don't think..." Hermione began. "That Ron would?" Hermione would hate it if Ron was talking about him and her having sex.
"Wait! My little Ron isn't a virgin?" Molly asked in totally shock. Ginny took this to her advantage.
"He lost his virginity when he was sixteen." Ginny smiled.
"Sixteen?" Molly yelled. "I'm going to have a little talk with him." Molly looked over at Hermione.
"Don't look at me!" Hermione moved closer to Minerva for proection. "I slept with him after we graduated."
"With who?" Molly asked.
"Lavender Brown." Ginny said giggling at her mother's temper.
"That little psychotic twit?"
"Molly calm down before you hurt yourself." Minerva said trying her best not to laugh.
"My little Ronald." Molly sat down taking Minerva's advice. "He lost his virginity to that little skank." She said in a low hateful voice.
"It's alright Molly." Tonks patted her on her back. "At least it wasn't Hermione. You like her and it would've been terrible if you were to kill her." Tonks looked at the Hermione who gulped.
"It's quite alright dear." Minerva whispered to Hermione. "If she did try to kill you, me and Tonks might stop her."
"Might?" Hermione asked. She looked at Ginny who was wiping her tears. She had never heard her mother talk bad about someone. It was just too funny to have experienced.
"Well have you ever tried to stop Molly from attacking someone?" Minerva asked. "You might as well just become another victim." Hermione eyes were wide with fear. She hoped that nothing would happen that the wildly angry Molly Weasley would attack her.
"So." Tonks said as Molly calmed down. "Next subject."
"Harry and you haven't, you know?" Molly asked.
"Oh please mom. Do you think I would tell you the truth after you had that little scene?" Ginny smiled. "No I haven't."
"Thank Merlin." Molly said. There was a knock at the door. "Come in." Ron, of all people opened the door. He smiled sheepishly.
"Snape said he had something to announce to all of us." The women got up and Molly gave a death glare to Ron who looked absolutely terrified.
"You and I will be having a talk tonight young man." Molly past Ron and all made themselves comfortable in the sitting room. Severus stood, all attention on him. Tonks smiled and elbowed Minerva knowing exactly what was going on.
"I would like to ask Minerva's hand in marriage. Again." He looked at Minerva. Kingsley, Alastor, and Albus being previous lovers to Minerva were shocked. Minerva opened her mouth. She closed it and then opened it again to say something.
"What the bloody hell are you thinking?" Minerva shouted. "How can you ask me in front of the whole order?"
"It makes it harder for you to say no." Severus said smiling wickedly.
"Can you believe Minerva threw a lamp at him?" Ginny asked Hermione as they left Grimmauld Place.
"Well she is a private woman so she probably hated being asked something so personal in front of others." Hermione turned around hearing yelling.
"I'm not finished with you!" They saw Minerva chasing Severus the other direction.
"I hope he makes it." Hermione said.
"I hope he doesn't." Ginny giggled.
"So what do you think the guys talked about?"
"I really don't want to know. And I highly doubt any one would."
Just a random story I've thought up. Hope you liked it.