Animorphs: The Title is too Long to Fit Here Chapter 1, an animorphs fanfic

Animorphs: Okay, The Song Definitely Doesn't Remain The Same This Time

Insert Normal Disclaimer Here

Thought-speak in italics

Note: Don't worry, I haven't died or been infested by a Yeerk or anything like that. There's a couple of reasons why it took me so long to get this story up, but I'll spare you the pain. The main thing is that it's done (well, done up until the song anyway). This was originally supposed to be a pretty short fic, but I ended up merging it with another idea I had so it started to grow. This is only the first part, but it's the part with the song. It deals with Rachel and Tobias' relationship after the war (if Rachel would've lived). The next part or two will deal with the aftermath of what happens in this part.

Speaking about the song, you can download it here: (savefile .com/files/1488605) Just be sure to take out the space (stupid formatting!). If you've read by past two song stories you'll know the drill, but if you haven't then just play the song when the lyrics come up and listen along. I want to give a very ultra-super special thanks to Toomin on RAF for helping me with the song. Without him, well, I guess it would've been possible, but it would've sounded a lot worse. And give me a break on the singing, I really don't have the voice for this sort of thing. I tried to make it as painless as possible though. There are a few harsh vocals, but it's probably nothing that most of you haven't heard before.

So, enough blabbering. On to the story! Enjoy!

My name is Tobias. I was sitting downstairs in my recording studio by the computer putting the finishing touches on my newest song. Like a lot of my songs this one was for Rachel, but I wasn't going to be able to just show it to her when she came home. Oh no, that'd take far too long. I wanted to get it to her now.

After a few final adjustments, I finally hit the save button and then clicked on export as audio file. I waited as my computer processed my request, and once it was done I could feel a small grin cross my face.

Hold on a minute, maybe I'm starting too suddenly. To understand what's really going on you'll need to what's happened over the past five years or so.

After the war was finally over me and Rachel started to spend more time together. Now that our relationship was out in the public eye we had no excuse not to. I always knew what she wanted me to do, and the thought was always on my mind, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it; not yet anyway. She wanted me to become human again.

For two more years I lived with her family in their new house (my mom ended up moving in with them as well). Everyone else seemed to get use to me real quick and her whole family made me feel right at home. I would've thought that having a strange hawk eating breakfast with the entire family at the same table might have freaked them all out a bit, but they grew surprisingly use to it quickly. But even though Rachel never said anything to me when we were in public, in private she always let me know that she wanted me to become fully human. I always told her that I would eventually, but I tried to avoid the topic as best as I could.

Over those two years Rachel and I, as well as the rest of the Animorphs, tried to continue our normal lives. Jake had the most problems getting back to reality, and who could blame him really, but all of us were eventually able to convince him to at least go back to school and start spending more time with Cassie. She was always worried about him and I thought for a bit that it wouldn't work out between them. But Jake started to come around eventually and it finally looked like everything was going to turn out fine.

Not just Jake but everyone, including me, went on to finish high school (after it was rebuilt of course). Since I was three grades behind everyone else I always had a lot of work to do, but sometimes it was a refreshing change from my peaceful hawk life.

Anyway, during Rachel's junior year in High School (and I was only a grade and a half behind at that time) we started to plan on leaving her house and getting one of our own. We had always remained very close, regardless of what Rachel thought about my hawk form, so it seemed natural that we'd live together once Rachel moved out. But I wasn't planning on just sharing a house with Rachel, I had something else planned.

I waited until both Rachel and I were eighteen (just to make sure that we weren't doing something illegal). She just happened to turn eighteen after me, so on her birthday I got her a special present.

I had gotten a huge box and wrapped a smaller box inside of it and another smaller one inside of that one and etc. It was my attempt at some humor, but even Rachel started to get angry after the fifth box or so. After asking if it was anything fragile she quickly morphed into her grizzly bear morph and began tearing through the remaining boxes. After it stopped snowing paper for a while she finally found what I wanted her to find. It was a small black box that she couldn't possible open as a bear. She quickly demorphed, but even before she opened it I could tell that she already knew what it was.

Her eyes went wide when she finally opened it and saw what was inside the box. And before I knew it she started running directly towards me. I wasn't expecting her to hit me so hard so I didn't really prepare, but she ended up knocking me off the stool I was sitting on and she landed on top of me on the floor. She quickly pulled me into a deep hug and even deeper kiss. When she finally loosened her grip on me a bit I could see tears start to form in her eyes.

"I'll take that as a yes?" I said, still trying to catch my breath.

"Of course I will," she said while gasping for breath as well, "Of course I'll marry you."

And a short six months after that our wedding day finally came. I let Rachel plan everything out; well, mostly. She was the one who wanted the perfect wedding and I didn't want to be the one to stand in her way. The ceremony wasn't really that important to me personally. I mean, sure, it'd be a great day and all that, but the real reward would be being able to spend the rest of my life with Rachel. And since the only thing I'd ever really wanted is for Rachel to be happy I was more than willing to let her plan everything like she wanted. Well, all except for that one little thing that took place at the very end.

We had just walked out of the doors of the church and were in the process of being showered with rice. The entire ceremony had gone perfectly and I couldn't keep myself from watching Rachel's eyes glow the entire time. Everyone we knew was there; from Jake, Cassie, Marco, and Ax to almost all of the Chee. It really was a very surreal time. I mean, I had dreamed about this moment almost since I first met Rachel, but now it was really happening. I couldn't really believe it and only later would I realize what had just happened. But we still had one more thing to do before we drove off to the airport to catch our honeymoon flight.

We wanted to keep it a secret from everybody except the people who really needed to know so we could make it the grand finale. I had let Rachel plan the entire wedding, but there was one thing I insisted we do. She didn't like the idea at first, in fact, she downright hated it. But as I continued to persist she finally agreed. The ceremony had been great up until now, but I had a feeling that this was going to be the best part, especially for me.

As we walked down the church steps and continued to get bombarded with rice both of us began to morph. My suit and Rachel's beautiful and expensive dress hid the changes well, so the only indication that we were morphing was the fact that we both began to shrink fairly rapidly. Eventually, all that anyone could see of us were small bumps under the layers of clothes.

You ready Rach? I said as I finished my morph.
Let's do it! She said more enthusiastically than I thought she would. And with that we both fought our way out of our clothes and emerged almost simultaneously.

To the untrained eye it would've looked like we'd both morphed the same hawk, but the difference was quite apparent to me. I was in my normal hawk body while Rachel had acquired a female red-tailed hawk especially for this occasion. Once we were both free of our clothes we took off into the air together.

We got some decent altitude and I finally let my hawk brain do what it wanted to for so many years. I let it completely take over my body and just enjoyed myself as I started my aerobatics.

It was torturous every spring not being able to mate and having to watch every other bird out there do what I yearned to do. But I knew I could never have that experience. I was Rachel's boyfriend, and I'd never dream of cheating on her, even with a hawk. And it's not like I just sat idly by either. I had plenty of "offers" from a whole bunch of young female hawks. In fact, I often joked about it to Rachel. But I would never let myself do anything that stupid.

Once we got married I knew what was going to happen to me afterwards. But as much as I tried to push all my hawk thoughts and instincts out of my mind, I found that I just couldn't. They'd become part of my human brain by now. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to get them out, so instead of fighting it I finally decided to give in to my urges.

Just because I forced myself not to do it before didn't mean that I didn't want to mate with another hawk. In reality, I did. Call it instinct, call it curiosity, call it whatever you want. I still wanted to at least try it. But after Rachel and I were officially married I knew I'd never get another chance. That's why I had insisted that we do something like this at the wedding.

We weren't really going to mate of course, but I hoped that doing everything up until that point would finally give me some closure on the subject. And so far it seemed to be working. I was diving and twirling and doing all sorts of other stuff while my hawk brain couldn't have been happier. Rachel even started to get into it a bit and joined me in my aerobatics after a while. We both dove, climbed, and whirled in the air like any stunt pilot could've only dreamed of doing. I was having the best time of my life, but just like everything it had to come to an end eventually.

Rachel and I both signaled to each other and we began our final stunt. We climbed as high as we could before we separated a bit and flew off in opposite directions. Then, we both made a sharp U-turn and started heading straight for each other. With the flying experience only a bird would have, at the absolute last second we both did a 180 degree barrel roll and then pointed our beaks down towards the earth. As we began to plummet we grasped each other's talons in the ultimate show of trust. Down and down we plummeted; faster and faster. We could see the heads of all the people watching us grow larger and larger by the second, but both of us held on tight. It was only at the absolute last second that we both finally let go of one another and began to pull up.

We skimmed the heads of the crowd at well over a hundred miles per hour as we made a few laps around the church to kill off some speed; Rachel went one way and I went the other. Using the same almost subliminal signals as before we both finally decided to take one more lap and then aim for the door of the limo.

We were still perfectly matched in our speeds at this point so I flared my wings ever so slightly to kill off just a tiny bit of speed. We couldn't both make it through the door at the same time and I wanted Rachel to go in first. I'm not trying to say that Rachel's a bad flyer, it's just that I've had much more experience than she has in this morph. What I'm trying to say is that it'd be better if only one of us runs into the other door than both of us doing it…

I saw Rachel quickly take the lead and fly in before me as I begun to flare my wings. Like I had expected (being use to being a bigger bird) Rachel flared her wings a bit late and ended up bumping up against the other door while I calmly landed next to her. As the door closed and the limo started to pull away we both started to morph back to human.

There was a silence between us as we morphed since both of us were still high from the adrenaline rush. Rachel was the first one to break the silence after we were both almost completely human.

"That was INTENSE!" she cried out loudly.

"Was it ever!" I echoed just as loudly. Then, lowering my voice a bit, I said, "I love you Rachel," as I pulled her into a hug.

"I love you too Tobias," she said back and we exchanged a kiss. "Alright," she said once we were finished with our little moment, "let's get changed. We just came from a wedding, not some lazy day at the mall."

I let out a small laugh as I looked over to the pile of clothes that Rachel had put into the limo before the wedding. "That's my Rachel," I said and got a playful hit on the arm as she handed me my clothes.

We didn't have much time to waste in catching our flight, so we hopped out of the limo, took our pre-packed luggage from the trunk, and dashed to the airport terminal making it just in time. What was the rush you ask? Well, it was a long flight and we wanted to make it to Hawaii as soon as possible. We definitely had a few things planned, and we both wanted to get to them as quick as possible.

You see, I had promised Rachel that I would become a human nothlit for her once we were married, and I would. It's just that I was the one to pick Hawaii as our honeymoon location, and it wasn't just because it was beautiful either. Ever since I really began getting the hang of flying I was always on the look out for better thermals. It didn't take me long to figure out what I thought would make the best ones: lava. And what better place is there for lava than Hawaii?

I talked about it with Rachel and after a while she finally conceded. Me and her would spend one last day taking an all-day flight all across Hawaii and then that night I would become a nothlit for her while she promised never to morph again for me. That's why we were in such a hurry. We knew that by the time we got there it'd be too dark to fly, but we'd have time to get ready for the next day.

And so the long flight began. Rachel and I sat in each others arms for most of the plane ride, except when I had to morph and we both had to eat. The other passengers didn't seem to mind that a hawk was on the plane with them. In fact, after a few autographs they left us alone for the rest of the flight.

Once we landed it was indeed dark. We made it to our hotel and started to unpack for the long week we had ahead of us. Once we were done with that we began to check out the hotel and our surroundings. We took a walk along the beach and popped in to a few of the local shops and whatnot, but we couldn't stay out that long. We needed to be up as early as possible the next morning; at least I wanted to be. I had a feeling that tomorrow was going to be one of the best days of my life and I didn't want to waste one second of sunshine. Rachel was a bit less enthusiastic about it, but she eventually agreed that it was time to turn in for the night. The jet lag was starting to take its toll on both of us anyway.

When we made it up to our bedroom we both slipped into bed and started to, well, get a bit romantic. We um… well… we did what every newlywed couple does on their first night together and then we both started to drift off to sleep. I made it an issue to stay awake and human until I knew that Rachel had fallen asleep in my arms. Only then did I do what I really didn't want to do at that moment. I carefully separated myself from Rachel and quietly began to demorph.

To be quite honest, it sucked. I mean, to have to let go of Rachel like that just to demorph was almost painful. I could've stayed like that with her forever, and I almost did. But I remembered that we had plans for tomorrow and it was going to be a great day.

I still felt awfully selfish for making Rachel have to go through with this. She just wanted to have the normal life that I'd been promising for so long, but yet I kept dragging her into doing things like this because I didn't have the balls to finally give up on my hawk form. It wasn't until then that I had finally saw what Rachel had been saying all these years. I finally knew how it felt to have to sleep next to someone and not with them. I finally understood what she had been feeling, and I felt even worse now than I already did because of it. But, nevertheless, I still finished demorphing and found a comfortable spot on the pillow.

I settled down and tried to go to sleep. Maybe I had been a selfish bastard over the past few years, but tomorrow night I was finally going to show Rachel that I can change for her. I was going to prove it by becoming a nothlit, and now I was actually looking forward to it for the first time. But that would be tomorrow. For now, I needed to get some rest. I closed my eyes and began to drift off to sleep.

I was up early the next morning like usual. We had gone to sleep early so the sun was just barely starting to come up when I first opened my eyes. I took a look over at Rachel first and saw that she was still peacefully sleeping. I slowly started to get up and stretch out my hawk body before I started to morph to human again. Once I was fully human I gave Rachel a light kiss and made my way out of the bed. I walked down to the lobby of the hotel and eventually made my way outside.

It was still very early so there was no one in sight. Nevertheless, I found cover behind a few bushes (it was just a thing of habit by now) and I began to demorph. Once I was a hawk again I gave a few flaps of my wings and I was up above the rooftops.

I didn't want to spoil my flight with Rachel so I stuck close to the hotel. I just wanted to get somewhat of a bearing on where I was and where we should go first. And, besides that, I had just grown so use to taking a morning flight. Just as the sun was really starting to come out I decided to go back to my room; I had been flying long enough. I landed and morphed in the same spot I had before and made my way back into the hotel.

Once I got back into my room I decided to give room service a call. I probably ordered one of everything off the menu before I realized that my stomach probably couldn't hold everything I wanted to try. Even though I had been mostly human for more than two years now I still enjoyed the unique taste of food way too much. I wasn't as bad as Ax was anymore, but I could still get out of hand sometimes.

Anyway, after I hung up the phone I went back over to the bed. I carefully crawled back in and took Rachel in my arms. I just laid there and listened to both our hearts beat for awhile. I seemed to lose track of time after that since the next thing I really remember is hearing a knock at the door. I regretfully got back up out of bed and made my way over to get the food.

Once I rolled the cart (okay, all three carts) into the room I finally decided to wake Rachel up. I went back over to the bed and gave her a few kisses and a big hug.

"Mmh, ten more minutes," she said as I let out a small chuckle.

"But by then all the food will be cold," I said back. Her eyes finally opened to meet mine and we exchanged a few more kisses. It was only then that she looked over to see the carts full of food.

"You must be really hungry," Rachel said as she sat up and sleepily rolled out of bed.

"Yeah, I got a little carried away," I said to her as she walked into the bathroom. After a few minutes she came back out, looking as gorgeous as ever, and sat down on the edge of the bed next to me.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" she said calmly, "dig in!"
I gave her another kiss and then literally lunged at the waiting carts.

I made it through about half of the stuff I ordered before my stomach couldn't take anymore. I looked over to Rachel who was calmly trying to eat some French toast (really good French toast by the way), but she was smiling way too much to get any in her mouth. She let out a small laugh as she saw me hit my limit and said, "You better not eat like that once you're human. You'll be humungous in no time!"

I let out a small, fake chuckle which really hurt my stomach. Right now, becoming human was the last thing on my mind and I really didn't feel 100 sure about doing it. But I brushed it aside as I started to demorph in order to get a bite to eat in my natural form.

I fluttered up to the edge of one of the carts and began munching on the small plate of assorted breakfast meats I had set out for myself. By the time my hawk form was full Rachel was done as well.

You ready to go Rachel? I said after a brief moment of silence between us.

"Yeah, I'm ready," she said back, "Let's do it!" If I was a human I would've smiled.

She re-covered all the plates of food and then made her way towards the window. It took her a minute to figure out how to open it, but she got it eventually. Then, all she had to do was pop the screen out and place it against the wall. She then walked over and flipped the lights on, so we could see inside the room when we got back, and only then did she start to morph. Before long there was a Bald Eagle sitting on the floor. She quickly unfolded her wings and started to fly towards the open window with me right behind her.

That day had to be one of the best days of my life. Everything about it was perfect. The weather was beautiful, I got to spend the entire day with Rachel, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, the thermals were AMAZING! I mean, I had some idea what a thermal from a lava field would be like, but it turned out to be way better than anything I could've imagined. It was almost like someone took hold of your wings and threw you up into the sky the moment you entered the thermal. In all my years of flying I had never felt anything like this. I'm not ashamed to say that when I felt the first thermal catch in my wings I giggled like a little schoolgirl. And if you think that's bad you should've heard Rachel's first time. With her gigantic Bald Eagle wings she got a boost that I could only imagine. It shot both of us up faster and higher than I think we'd ever been before. We eventually made it up so high that even my hawk eyes were having trouble seeing the ground. And there's only one thing to do when you get up that high; dive. And what a dive it was! Absolutely intense!

It wasn't even like the thermal was fixed on one small spot either. It was spread out across the entire lava field so we didn't have to keep circling to stay in the thermal. Everything was going way better than I ever would've imagined.

But the thermals were only one part of the day. We also had the breathtaking scenery to gaze at from the height we were flying at. Now, Southern California has some great scenery, don't get me wrong, but Hawaii beats it hands down. The mountains, the volcanoes, the sweeping forests; they just all seem to blend in so nicely. I wished that I could stay here forever.

Rachel and I even got really close to some of the volcanoes. And by close I mean really close. Like only a few feet away from bubbling hot molten rock more than a few times. Rachel even had a really close call. A bubble of lava decided to pop just as she made a pass next to a big puddle of it. It sent red hot liquid rock spraying in all directions, including directly at her. She managed to miss most of it though and came away with only a few singed feathers. But still, it was a lot closer than I would've liked.

The only time we both weren't flying was when Rachel either had to demorph or get something to eat. I kept circling overhead when she morphed, but when she went to eat I decided to get my own food. I knew that this would be the last time I'd ever get the chance to hunt like this again, and I was going to take advantage of it. Luckily for me the forests were swarming with tasty little critters so I didn't have to do a lot of work to get my reward. By the time Rachel came back from getting something to eat herself I was done eating as well.

I could've stayed out there forever, and I probably would've if Rachel hadn't said anything. But by the time the sun started to go down it was obvious that she was getting bored. But when the only light was coming from the moon, stars, and glowing lava she finally decided to say something about it.

Tobias, it's getting too dark to fly. I think we should start heading back.

I didn't want to stop flying, but I knew she was right. All good things have to come to an end eventually. I took one last dive before I said, You're right, let's go. And with that we started to make our way back to the hotel.

We had basically made one gigantic loop around the island we were on so we weren't that far away from our hotel to begin with. After a short few minutes of flying it began to come into view.

I'll race you there, I said as I began to pick up speed.

You're on! Rachel said as she tried in vain to catch up.

I was obviously the first one through the window and I made a quick loop around the room before perching on the back of a chair. I watched Rachel quickly come barreling through the window, making close to the same loop I did, before landing on the bed and starting to demorph.

I probably should've joined her there, but I was still having second thoughts about doing what I knew I had to do. So I just continued to stay perched on the back of the chair as I watched Rachel demorph.

"Phew," she said once she was fully human again, "what a day! I'm beat! How can you deal with morphing so much Tobias? You never seem to have a problem with it."

I guess I just got use to it, I said in response. That really was a great day though; one of the greatest of my life to be honest.

"Yeah," Rachel said back, "that was definitely awesome. I can't think of anything that would've been better for our last morphs."

Yeah, I said back weakly.

There was a moment of silence before Rachel started to stretch out and say, "Tobias, you don't mind if we call it a night early, do you? I mean, I don't think I could physically get off this bed again for another ten hours or so."

No, I don't mind, I said back.

And then there was a painfully long and awkward moment of silence that fell across the room. We both knew what was supposed to happen next, but yet I didn't move. I just stayed there on my perch looking over at Rachel.

I was scared, plain and simple. I didn't want to go back to being a human; I liked it as a hawk. There were too many things that I thought I couldn't deal with as a human anymore and it was making me reluctant to morph. I mean, why couldn't Rachel learn to live with me the way I am now? I could still be human almost all the time around her. Why did she want me to give up one of the only joys in my life? So I didn't have to waste a few minutes morphing every two hours? That didn't seem right. That didn't seem fair.

But then I remembered last night and what it felt like to have to morph before going to sleep. Was I going to have to endure that same feeling every night; having to separate myself from Rachel like that?

I knew what I needed to do, but I just couldn't do it. I guess that in a way I wanted Rachel to make the decision for me since I was continually staring at her. And if she ended up making the decision I already knew what it was going to be.

She seemed to sense my reluctance. After a few moments of silence she finally looked back over to me. She gave me a warm, comforting smile and patted the empty side of the bed next to her. That was all I needed.

Without giving myself a chance to think I opened up my wings for the last time and flew on over to the bed. Once I landed I instantly began to morph before I could stop myself. Before I knew it I was fully human. Rachel just leaned over and gave me a big kiss. I could see that she was starting to form a tear in her eye, but she gave everything she had not to break down and start crying. I returned her kiss and before I knew it I was lost in it; just the way I was hoping to be.

The kiss escalated from there until we started, um, doing what couples do on their honeymoon. After we were finished with that we gave each other a few last kisses and then we both started to drift off to sleep.

Well, at least Rachel started to drift off to sleep. It was only after we finished that I really began to think about what I was doing, much to my dismay. But I had already made the choice. I was human now and there was no way I could go back.

But what if I waited until Rachel was asleep? I could always demorph and spend the night as a hawk. She'd probably never know. I almost always woke up before she did so I could just remorph in the morning.

But that would never work. She'd eventually get suspicious of me having to go to the bathroom every two hours and she'd find out sooner or later. And when she did I might not like the consequences of lying to her like that. No, I had already made my decision and I was going to stick to it!

So I tried to calm down my erratic mind and do something I never really thought I'd do again; try and go to sleep as a human. I gave Rachel a big squeeze and let myself slowly drift off to sleep.

I woke up with quite a shock the next morning. I had spent five years of my life trying not to get caught as a human, and now I realized I was. My hands, my feet, my eyes, they all felt wrong. But as my mind slowly caught up with what my body was telling it I began to calm down a bit.

I had done it. I was now officially a human, and I wasn't sure how to feel about it exactly. Rachel would be happy no doubt, but would I be? My last memories of being fully human weren't so good. Would it be like that again? My uncertainty started to scare me.

But I took a deep breath and looked over to the person who was still locked in my arms. If anyone could make my human life better it would be her.

I quickly drove those thoughts out of my mind, but they were replaced by much more pressing ones; what do I do now?

Sure, I still knew what humans did when they first woke up, but to be honest I didn't really remember how to do them so much. Well, I guess I kind of remembered how to do them as well, but I really didn't know where to begin…

Let's just put it this way, I was confused. So, I did the only thing I was sure I knew how to do. I hugged Rachel tighter and enjoyed the feeling of her body against mine.

Eventually I could feel her stretch out a bit and begin to wake up. I gave her a squeeze to let her know that I was up as well and she eventually rolled over and looked me straight in the eyes. She was still a bit sleepy, but she managed to let out a small smile as I gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Sleep well?" I asked as she pulled away.

"Tobias," Rachel said back with a smile, "that was the best night of my life. Thank you so much." And with that she gave me another long kiss.

I didn't say anything back; I didn't need to. My actions spoke louder than words.

We continued to kiss/hug/wake up until Rachel finally pulled away and sleepily made her way to the bathroom. After a few minutes she came out and gave me a strange look.

"You look confused," she said with a small laugh, "do you still remember what humans do in the morning?"

"Um," I said, trying to be funny, "take a morning flight?"

She gave off another small laugh and said, "Do you still remember how to go to the bathroom at least?"

"Yeah," I said back feeling a bit embarrassed, "I think I can handle that."

"Well," Rachel said back sounding jokingly seductive, "get to it then. After you're done we can take a shower together and I'll remind you of anything you've forgotten."

"With an offer like that," I said back in a jokingly seductive tone of my own, "how could I refuse?" I quickly jumped out of bed and made my way to the bathroom.

After I was done I was just about to go and get Rachel when she made her way into the bathroom herself. It was a bit cliché, a couple taking a shower together after their "first night" on their honeymoon, but it really felt nice.

Afterwards we went through all the morning bathroom routines (I forgot there were so many!) We covered everything from brushing hair to cleaning ears, but the weirdest thing had to be brushing teeth. I had to have gagged almost half a dozen times or so trying to do it. I guess it didn't help that hawks didn't have teeth, but I just wasn't use to something like that poking around in my mouth.

After we were both clean it was time to get dressed. Rachel had brought me a whole new wardrobe before our wedding, so I actually got to put on a new pair of clothes for the first time in what seemed like forever. I took one last look at my old and worn pair of jeans and my old T-shirt that were lying on the floor next to the bed. I had grown attached to those clothes over the years (in order to morph any decent clothes you had to focus really hard on them specifically). They were just as much a part of my as my feet and hands were and it felt weird to be wearing something else. But I got over it soon enough when Rachel suggested that we go out and get breakfast.

We spent the remainder of the week doing, well, human stuff. Since we were in Hawaii we spent most of the time on the beach. We both had one hell of a tan before the week was over! And even though I had only just recently learned how to swim a little bit we took a few dips in the ocean as well. Water still wasn't my favorite thing in the world, but with Rachel there with me I'd do anything.

When we weren't on the beach we were doing the normal tourist thing. We took a few trips to visit the volcanoes (they didn't seem as cool from the ground really) and we went to a few louows and a Polynesian fire dancing festival and the whole shebang. All in all I had a great time and so did Rachel.

In a few days I was almost completely back to being my normal human self again as well. I hadn't expected to get use to it so quickly, but after about two or three days everything started to feel normal again. I was able to brush my teeth and do all that other stuff without really even thinking about it anymore. In a way it was sort of scary how quickly I had adjusted to human life and had (for the most part) basically forgotten about my hawk life. I still looked up to the sky every now and then and had a memory or two come back to me, but that was it.

I was sad when we had to get on the plane back to California. I knew that our honeymoon had to end eventually, but I was still reluctant to go. I had my final memories of being a hawk here, and now I was leaving them behind to go and face the real human world. I wasn't sure that I was ready.

Rachel and I talked a lot about it on the long flight home. When it came time to get off the plane I was feeling a lot better about everything. Rachel's mom had already taken care of most of the paperwork while we were gone (she is a lawyer after all), so I didn't have to worry about all that. And if I had any problems adjusting to anything I always had Rachel to help me. That was something I could always count on.

It was after midnight when we landed, so we quickly hailed a cab and made our way back to Rachel's house for the night. Because of the time-zone difference we were still fully awake when we made it there, but we forced ourselves to go to sleep. It was a Saturday night (well, Sunday morning now) and we both had school on Monday morning.

I guess it's a bit weird getting married while in high school, but everyone was a year behind anyway. Everyone lost a year of school while recovering from the Yeerk invasion (since they just so happened to blow up the school). And that wasn't the only weird thing our lives. At eighteen years old both Rachel and I were going to become homeowners in a week or two (we had decided on a house and they started building it before we left). After being a hawk for about five years you'd think that nothing would seem weird to me anymore, but it was the everyday weird things that truly seemed weird to me now. Weird, I know.

The next week was very busy for Rachel and me. On top of making up all the schoolwork that we had missed over our honeymoon we still had to go appliance shopping and furniture shopping and upholstery shopping and flooring shopping and who knows what else shopping. Needless to say, Rachel was in heaven. It didn't matter whether it was a new dress or a new washing machine, she still just loved to shop. And of course, she dragged me along with her. It wasn't as bad as it sounds though; I guess I kinda had fun too. It was kind of exciting. I mean, we were going to be moving in to our new home soon. How many eighteen year olds have that experience?

So, after a week of almost endless shopping and schoolwork the house was finally finished. The next week was dedicated to moving in.

It turned out to be a really nice house once it was finished. I still thought that it was a bit big, but Rachel insisted that we get a big house so we didn't have to move or add on anything when we had kids. (Both Rachel and I wanted kids, but we agreed that it wasn't going to happen any time soon. We were still kids ourselves basically, so we'd have plenty of time for that kind of stuff later).

We decided to build our house out in the countryside so that we wouldn't get harassed by reporters every day, but it wasn't really in the middle of nowhere. Just by taking a short car ride we find anything we wanted. It really was the perfect place. Nice and peaceful when you wanted it to be and everything you could ever want was only a short trip away.

I left almost every detail to Rachel. She seemed to know exactly what went with what and what we would need in our new house. I just had one request. Rachel thought it would be a waste of money at first, but after I informed her of some of the things that she was buying she finally let me get it. I wanted my own recording studio.

I like to think that music has always been a big part of my life. Even when I didn't have anything I could play on I still loved to listen to it. And after the war was over I finally shared my secret with Rachel and showed her all the songs I'd written for her during the war. She hid it well, but I don't think she was too thrilled about my songs. Of course she said that they were sweet and all of that, but I felt some undertones in her voice that weren't so pleasant. But nevertheless I carried on with my musical career. It made me happy doing it and that was the only thing that mattered.

I quickly became curious about other instruments as well, not just the guitar. Sometimes I would just go down to the music store to try new things out. Keyboards, basses, heck, I even tried a violin once. But the instrument I had the most fun with was the drums. I seemed to be a natural at them ever since I first sat down and began to play. There was just something different about them from all the other musical instruments and I just loved it. I grew so fond of them that I ended up buying myself a kit, much to the dismay of Rachel and her family. But now I was able to put a whole new dimension to my songs. I didn't have to just stick with the acoustic guitar anymore, now I could do a full band arrangement.

When we began planning our own house, I told Rachel that I needed a recording studio in the basement. And reluctantly, she agreed.

But anyway, after another strenuous week of moving in, getting everything we'd bought delivered, and getting all our carpet and flooring installed we were ready to begin our lives together.

The next few years went by really quickly. Rachel was the first one to finish school, but after that she really didn't really have anything else planned. At first she just laid around the house, but I knew she couldn't stay like that for long. She quickly decided what she was going to do with her free time, get into some extreme sports.

I'm not talking about skateboarding or anything like that. It was more like bungee jumping and hang gliding. She had been doing that stuff ever since the war ended so she could get the adrenaline rush she needed to stay sane. But now she had all the time in the world to explore things that she never had time to try. She tried everything from sky diving to white water kayaking until she finally found something she really loved, rock climbing. To this day I don't see what she sees in it, but if she likes doing it then I'm not going to try and stop her.

Not only did she like it, she was really good at it. She was a natural. It started out simple enough; going down to the local gym and practicing on the rock wall. But it quickly started to escalate from there. Within a few months she started climbing at a few places close by and a few months after that she was taking trips to Yellowstone with her rock climbing friends just to climb something new and interesting. I tried to tag along for a few of the early trips but rock climbing just wasn't my thing. I ended up slowing everybody down and they were always waiting for me at the top (if I even made it up that is). So I eventually decided not to bother them anymore and I just stayed home.

Within a year Rachel had all sorts of certification and not too long after that she finally got her first job; giving rock climbing lessons at the local gym. She still works there as an instructor every now and then, but she's gone on to becoming a real rock climbing instructor. She even takes trips all over the world to climb different types of rocks.

Early on it was hard to see Rachel leave for just a weekend trip without me, but now the trips can take as long as two weeks or sometimes even more. But I finally ended up getting her a durable laptop with a satellite internet connection so we could keep in contact with each other while she was gone. Ever since then it's made being separated from her a bit more tolerable.

As for me, I ended up passing high school a little less than a year after Rachel. Now, I wouldn't say that I liked school per say, but I was always a bit of a nerd and I liked to learn new stuff all the time. That's why I decided to go on to college. For what you ask? Well, I thought it'd be obvious; ornithology.

I began to take classes at the local college and before I knew it I had a degree. So, I did what any normal person would do and went back to get a better one. I've already gotten my Associates and Bachelors degrees and I'm currently working on my Masters now.

When I'm not busy studying I like to relax by working towards getting my civilian pilot's license. Flying an airplane is almost nothing like flying as a bird, but it's the closest thing I could come up with as a human.

As you probably can tell I do miss being a hawk every now and then; especially when Rachel is gone for a long time. Soaring up in the clouds, riding the thermals, talking a hundred mile per hour dive straight at the ground; there was nothing else like it. But I loved my human life too. And I'd put my human life before my hawk life any day. Well, sometimes I do see it the other way and today was a good example of that.

The relationship Rachel and I shared had always seemed good. The excitement had begun to die down a bit after almost five years of being married of course, (I like to think that we "normalized" a bit), but we still seemed to love each other very much. We had our small little fights and whatnot, but we always quickly forgave one another and made up shortly afterwards. We both still slept together in the same bed when Rachel was home and every morning we'd give each other a morning kiss when one of us woke up. It seemed like everything was going fine and that we were both as happy as could be. Then one day I came home from my classes to see a note. Well, maybe I should let the song explain…

I opened up my e-mail inbox and typed Rachel's e-mail address into a blank e-mail template. But as I finished typing the address I decided to playback my song one last time before attaching it; just to see if everything sounded like I wanted it to. I minimized my inbox and double clicked on the audio file sitting on my desktop. My media player came up and the song started to play.

We had out problems babe, but so has every other couple.
I thought it'd last forever, and we'd always be together,
But that all changed the day that I came home to see your final
note that you had wrote and it said quote that I can't take this anymore…

You stupid no good two-bit (censored)…
I gave up everything for you…
And look at what you put me through…
I can't believe you left me here…
Drowning in my mournful tears…
You've brought to life my deepest fears…
You put our love up on a shelf,
How could you live with yourself?

I thought it was a joke and you were just trying to be funny.
I waited here for you, nothing else I'd rather do.
But when you didn't show I wondered what was going on in your
head everything you said filled me full of dread the way that nothing ever had before…

Now that it's over I can really see what you've become and,
All the things that you could do, like I meant nothing to you.
If this is how you want it go ahead and run away you (censored) you (censored) witch I didn't fit your niche,
Was I really that much of a bore…

You stupid no good two-bit (censored)…
I gave up everything for you…
Look at what you put me through…
I can't believe you left me here…
Drowning in all my mournful tears…
You've brought to life my deepest fears…
You put our love up on a shelf,
How could you live with yourself?

How could you live with yourself?

Well, it wasn't perfect, but for a few hours work it wasn't half bad. I just wish I had a better voice for these types of songs but you've got to work with what you've got sometimes. I went back to my inbox and typed in the subject: Hey honey, I made another song for you! :-) Then I attached the song to the email as I thought about what I was going to say in the body of the letter. I decided to just let it flow and to see what came out.

Hey Rach, hope you're having a good time climbing whatever you're climbing. I've been thinking a lot about you for the past few days and I became inspired to write you another song. I know that you're not the biggest fan of the songs I've made for you, but this one is a bit different. I hope you like it! I can't wait to see you when you finally get back. I'll be thinking about you all the time until then! Be careful and don't do anything crazy! I didn't become a nothlit for you so that I could go to your funeral…

Your Husband,
Tobias Fangor

Well, I thought to myself as I read what I had wrote, that seems good enough. I'll let the song do most of the talking. With another small grin I check everything over to make sure there'd be no mistakes and I clicked the send button.