DON'T ASK. That's all I have to say.
About the last damn thing that Byakuya Kuchiki wanted to hear in the morning was the sound of his doorbell ringing.
Especially if he had a massive headache.
But he got up anyway. Wasn't as though he could sleep any longer, not with those damn Philistines darkening his doorstep with ads and subscriptions to magazines that he did not want to buy.
He opened the door, his eyes narrowed.
"What do you want?" he asked, trying to keep his voice civil.
"The Shinigami Women's Association would like you to subscribe to the Men's Health magazine!" an all-too-loud female voice chirped. He'd never seen this girl before and he never wanted to see her again.
"No, thank you. I need to -"
"No! Really! If you subscribe to Men's Health, you'll get information on how to keep healthy! And it's only 25 dollars to sign up! You'll get 12 issues a year, once a month, advising you how to keep healthy!"
"No, really, I don't really need -"
"Oh, come on! Every guy wants one of these! It's only 25 dollars and -"
That was it. Byakuya had had ENOUGH.
"God damn it, bitch, I CAN'T READ!"
She faltered. "Umm...what?"
"You heard me, I CAN'T READ!"
"You...can't READ?"
"No! I've never been able to read, never will be! Now go! Shoo!"
Byakuya slammed the door in her face, turned on his heel, and made his grand exit out of the foyer and into the kitchen, with a trumpet fanfare and a red carpet to pave his way.