Ten Reasons Why I Hate James Potter:
by Lily Evans
1. He is so full of himself! He is always gloating over something or another, and saying how he's so brilliant and a genius and the smartest person in Hogwarts. Honestly! Marly says he's a git. Go Marly!
2. He keeps asking me out! Why does he keep doing that! I will NEVER, EVER GO OUT WITH JAMES POTTER! Why must he continue? And why must he keep calling me "Lily Potter"? That will never happen. Ever. Not even in his wildest dreams. Or my nightmares.
Mary says that it's sweet. Shut up, Mary.
3. He hexes people all the time. He hexed Snape the other day, just for bumping into him. Okay, so he knocked Potter over, but still!
4. He and Black will not stop singing in Transfiguration! It's not even like he has a good singing voice! He's terrible!
5. He does that thing with his hair. He knows that annoys me, but he still does it all the time! And Marly says he only does it when I'm around, which is ten times worse!
6. He's somehow weaseled his way into being the "Reserve Gryffindor Prefect." Why do we even need one? No other house has one, and Remus is more than capable. Sure he's not the healthiest of people but that's no reason to imply that he can't complete his duties as a Prefect like any other student.
(Marly says that's creepy. Mary says it's unnatural. Lucy says that we shouldn't hold that against him.)
7. He gets all of the privileges that the Gryffindor Prefects get.
Because he's "Reserve Gryffindor Prefect."
8. He shares the Prefects loo and lounge with me.
He gets all of the privileges that the Gryffindor Prefects get.
Because he's "Reserve Gryffindor Prefect."
(Marly says that's creepier. Mary says I'm lucky I get to see him come out of the shower. Lucy says that's not sanitary.)
9. He sneaks into my dorm.
Because he gets all of the privileges that the Gryffindor Prefects get.
Because he's "Reserve Gryffindor Prefect."
(Marly says that's really creepy. Mary says she wishes she was me. Lucy says that's not allowed.)
10. He turns everything in my area of the dorm pink.
Because he gets all of the privileges that the Gryffindor Prefects get.
Because he's "Reserve Gryffindor Prefect."
(Marly says we should sneak into HIS room and turn everything pink. Mary doesn't know why I don't like that. She says pink is a nice color. Lucy says that's sexist. She is agreement with Marly. Go Marly and Lucy!)
11. He jumped on top of the table yesterday during breakfast and declared his passionate and undying love to me. And then he tried to kiss me. (He's still in the Hospital Wing) And he did this all in the middle of mealtime! And he did it in public! Where is his head? Where is his common sense? Has he no dignity? Oh wait, Marly's just reminded me that he doesn't have either. Marly says the she means that he doesn't have common sense of dignity. Thanks, Marly, but did you see the line of girls outside the Hospital Wing?
Marly says, no, she didn't. All she saw was a long ling of mindless twits.
Mary says…where is she? She's in line outside the Hospital Wing, Marly tells me. Mary, you traitor.
Lucy says that I shouldn't have hexed him. And jinxed him. And cursed him. She says violence is not the answer. She says violence solves nothing. Marly says that violence solves many things. Marly says to never underestimate the power of pure violence. Lucy disagrees.
Marly says that when dealing with James Potter, violence is always required, and solves everything regarding him.
You really are my best friend, Marly. I love you.