all that glitters is gold
by: TuesdayTerrible
A/N: Inspired by the fact that I wish I felt something about Tori Vega.
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She sits on her silk lilac sheets painting her toenails a sparkly gold, when Trina bounces up onto the bed and one swift movement knocks the tiny glass bottle over.
"That's not gold." Trina says matter of factly snatching the bottle up, "its champagne, and it's mine."
Tori stares at the stain on her purple sheets for a second to long, and sighs.
.
"Who knew our baby girl had such a powerful voice?"
"We've invested so much time in helping Trina pursue her dreams; I guess we just over-looked it."
"She's always been such a soft spoken girl too…do you think Trina's going to be jealous?"
"Never. Trina has more confidence than half of the kids in that school combined." The dad says chuckling lightly.
"You know…I didn't think Tori had any dreams." The mother's voice is so soft, it's hardly audible.
"We still don't know if she does. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Tori's got a strong head on her shoulders, she can handle whatever comes her way."
Tori listens from the top of the stairwell picking the 'champagne' nail polish off her nails. When she gets up to go to bed, she leaves the shavings on the floor.
.
Hollywood Arts is big and colorful and filled with dancing, spinning, laughing, flipping characters around every corner.
She feels kind of like Alice in Wonderland, and when someone behind her laughs hysterically, tears burning in the blonde girls eyes followed by; "We really are all mad here!" She focuses on finding somebody to help her get to class.
.
When Andre takes her phone from her to stop her from calling her parents- her clothes clinging to her skin and her hair already feeling stark and nasty from the iced coffee, even before he finishes talking, she knows she's not going to quit.
She's tired of being the girl everyone knows her as weak, timid, and too shy to go after what she wants.
She kisses Beck, and doesn't regret it until she sees Jade's face. It's contorted in a shape that's appalled, and angry, but her eyes look heart broken. Her heart contorts in her chest, and she bites her lip as she watches the girl pick up her messenger bag and leave the room without a word- Beck hopping off the stage in one foul swoop and out the door behind her.
Robbie and Andre congratulate her, and Cat looks kind of undecided on what to do or say so she starts rambling something about her brother setting his underwear on fire, she can't fully enjoy the moment though- her thoughts are still lingering on Jade.
Because Jade gave her the courage to stay, and for that, intentional or not- she kind of likes her.
.
Thinking you did good enough was what the bird scene was about.
She's not surprised it took her three times to get it right, and neither are her parents.
But when she told Sikowitz "the scene I just did was good and I'm proud of it." Jade leans back and as if on cue, along with everybody else, she claps.
"You just passed the bird scene!"
She can't remember a time when she's been happier.
.
'It happens slowly...', she thinks. '…gaining the confidence to dream and the courage to follow those dreams.'
She's thankful for Trina having her tongue swollen, for Andre's encouragement, for Jade's aggression, for Robbie, Beck, and Cats friendship. She's so thankful to have the opportunity to dream that she picks her hairbrush off her nightstand hops on her bed and sings at the top of her lungs "make it shine!" until her throat is raw.
After the rise, there's always a fall.
.
It becomes a chase to be the best, to be on top- to have every student in that school know her name.
So, when she beats Jade for the role in Steamboat Suzy; she doesn't feel anything when Jade throws something against the wall nor does she feel threatened when she stomps in and declares that Tori will wish she had cancelled the prom-e.
"Hollywood's not about talent." Trina says painting her nails gold- not champagne, at the foot of Tori's bed. "It's about kissing the right people's asses and stepping on who you have to, to get where you want to be."
Tori watches her but doesn't say anything, barely looking up from her fine arts book.
"I was born without a conscience baby sister, you on the other hand…." Trina licks her lips before gently twisting the cap on the nail polish and slowly lowering Tori's book with her dry hand. "You could get hurt here."
It's the first time Trina looked sincere, and for a breathe moment- Tori's heart flutters with some sort of recollection of hairbrushes; make it shine, and simply doing her best. She just closes her eyes, shakes her head and thinks about her latest performance that had Jade in the arms of an old dude in a diaper.
Trina leaves the room, and Tori laughs until tears blur her eyes making the words on the page of her book completely unreadable.
.
It's halfway through the school year when something snaps, it's painful and random and it stops her dead in her tracks in the middle of the hallway.
She can't do this.
Her hand slaps to her mouth, and she feels herself shaking just in the slightest. Her heart is pounding so hard against her ribcage she feels like it's going to beat right out of her chest. Andre touches her on the shoulder and jerks his hand back as if stung- she briefly wonders if he can feel the tremors pulsing through her skin.
"Tori, are you alright?" He's in front of her both hands grasped onto her shoulders
/is he shaking me?/
"Tori! Tori!"
The world goes dark.
.
She wakes up lying down on a matt in the nurse's office, what appears to be thousands of faces, is actually just six.
This isn't what she wanted.
Tori sits up abruptly and stares at them, her voice is lodged in her throat and before she can stop herself, she clasps her hands over mouth and begins to cry.
Jade leans back and crosses her arms over her chest as Cat and Andre move into comfort Tori, Becks hands resting lightly on the top of her head, "Not all that glitters is gold, Vega."
All heads swivel to meet Jade's, blue domineering eyes not intimidated nor apologetic- just blunt.
Tori wants to retaliate or question her, but instead she turns her attention to the few pieces of sparkling champagne nail polish that cling to her nail bitten fingers.
/since when do I bite my nails?/
"Yeah." Tori says remotely, wiping the tears out of her eyes with the back of her hand. "I know."
.
"The nurse called from the kids school."
"What Trina do now?"
"It's actually Tori…she had an anxiety attack."
"…Tori?"
"Yeah….what does that mean? What do we do?"
"That's not like her…she has such a good head on her shoulders." Dad leans forward and rubs his brow.
"Should we pull her?" The mother asks sighing. "She seemed to be doing so well."
.
&& she's back to square one sitting on the stairwell, always listening- never interrupting.
.
She starts to notice how beautiful her friends really are; even Robbie has something she doesn't. Rather he considers himself a ventriloquist or not, his lips hardly move if at all when Rex talks. He has a talent could quite possibly take him some where no matter how odd it is.
Beck's ridiculously handsome, the way he takes his part very seriously and can be molded into whatever guy he's supposed to be. His lines never come out stumbled or badly articulated and he's very well versed in plays, actors, and who's in charge of what. Beck knows what he wants and has everything he needs to get it.
Cat, while kind of a scatter-brain, and talk to much- she's adorable. She's ridiculously cute and her while her mood can change on a dime, she has an amazingly strong voice for such an incredibly small girl. Her acting skills aren't bad either, and at costume designing she did beyond phenomenal- so many talents leads for so many more options…
Jade, with her violent tongue and cruel remarks is one of the most talented people she's ever met. She has shown an incredible amount of knowledge and has demonstrated on more than one occasion as to when it really maters she's capable of biting her tongue. She can transform into whatever she needs to and completely separate herself from her character. Her voice is strong and beautiful and sometimes Tori gets so jealous she thinks she might be sick.
But, she sees the most beauty in Andre. Andre who is not over boastful or over proud, who she knows each and every smile is sincere, and how he can transform a stupid kiddie song into a beautiful love song. Andre has a talent for making songs out of nothing, and a voice that can make anything beautiful.
She thinks she may love him…but she's not going to tell him that.
.
"I did it!" Andre says walking into her house holding a copy of a cd in hand. He's so happy he doesn't give her a chance to ask respond just picks her up and twirls her around.
She laughs and for a moment, she feels like she's flying before he sets her feet firmly back on the ground.
"What did you do?"
"For you madam" Andre says smiling ear to ear as he presents her with a cd- of all of his songs. "My very first CD, they hit the wracks next month."
Tori swallows and forces herself to smile. "That's great!"
/and there he goes one step closer to his dream and one step farther away from her/
.
Jade catches her in the bathroom a month later, shed recognize those combat boots anywhere.
"You don't need to do that." Jade says leaning against the bathroom stall door, tilting her head against the door just in time to hear another the sound of Tori's lunch splashing into the toilet bowl.
Tori opens the door and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, walking over the sink and pulling out a toothbrush from her purse.
"Of course I don't. I'm just going to get somewhere looking like *this*" she says pausing indicating with her free hand her body, sarcasm dripping from every word.
Jade frowns. "You would." She says before turning on her heel and leaving.
Tori's caught off guard for a fraction of a moment, before leaning forward and spitting the left over toothpaste into the sink.
"Liar." She whispers to the empty bathroom.
.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
She gets the female lead with Beck, and she's back up again.
.
"If your life was a play what would it be like?" Cat questions, twirling a piece of red hair around her pencil, her and Tori sitting side by side in the school's library.
"Well. I would be the heroine." Tori says thoughtfully, a small smile brimming her features. "And Jade would defiantly be the antagonist."
If Jade were around to hear the comment, she'd tell Tori that she was her own damn antagonist, and that she didn't need any help from her.
She would be right.
.
"I couldn't have done it without you." Andre says standing in front of the rows of CD with his name on them.
Tori thinks it sounds like he's saying I love you.
Her insides scream kiss him, and she gets as far as putting her hands on his shoulder and pressing her lips against his cheek. He smells kind of like cinnamon.
"Congrats Andre." She says and walks off as quickly as she can without running.
Coward.
.
'It's my last performance.' She thinks standing behind the curtain waiting for it to open to reveal the packed auditorium. 'It's my last performance in this school before we graduate'
She doesn't know if the dream ends, or begins here. Her body's shaking just slightly, and she knows there's really no way she can go through with it. She spins on her heal to leave, to run away, and turns around smack into Jade.
"What are you doing here?" Tori stammers as Jade holds her own, cold blue eyes staring at her through a thick curtain of mascara.
"You need to eat before you go out there." Jade says simply. "Or you're not going to make it through the first act- and while I'd love to fill in for you, that's not how you want to leave here Vega."
"I don't need to do anything." Tori says, face clenched tight, "Go take your seat, you freakin demon."
Jade shrugs and gives her a sympathetic look, as she turns around her black bracelets sliding down her arm long enough to expose a few miscellaneous red lines.
/She was never really alone at all/
"Jade…" Tori says and it doesn't sound like "liar" when she says it. It sounds like "thank you."
She makes Cat hand over her hamburger, and she scarfs it down with three minutes until it's time for the show to start.
.
"You did really well Tori." Her dad says.
"We're proud of you." Mom adds as they walk into their house.
"Good." Tori says a smile brimming across her lips. "You kind of should be."
She skips up the stairs and this time- she doesn't wait around to hear what they have to say.
.
"Hey Andre!"
"Whats up Tori?" she can hear the smile in his voice over the phone
"I'm kind of sort of in love with you." Her voice catches at the end, but she's smiling so wide from the relief of having it out in there, she temporary forgets he has to respond. She temporarily forgets he probably doesn't love her back.
He laughs, and she swears it sounds like music.
"That's great, because I'm kind of sort of in love with you too."
.
Who said all that glitters wasn't gold anyway?
/They were wrong/
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A/N: Omg, it ended on a happy note. I guess I just couldn't give simply beautiful not-so- perfect Tori Vega a tragedy after all. Hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are appreciated, and as always, Flames are for children.