Chapter 1: MeetCute

A/N: I recently got a guest review for Minister a trois, and I thought I'd post the origin of how Percy, Oliver and Audrey became a couple. I wouldn't expect an update to Minister a Trois anytime soon, but enjoy. If you do want to read something I suggest What Would Hugo Weasley Do by Collaborawesome, it's very amusing.

(A/N Update 01/05/2015- I'm editing Minister a trois in the hope of more chapters. Of all of us, I assure you I am the most surprised after all I have exams to revise for.)

It was what I'd call an ordinary, no that's too boring a word, regular, it was a usual evening in with Audrey, we'd just got to that happy place where we'd been together a few months and now it was just special to be around one another without making any big effort. We could just be Audrey and 's when she found Oliver's Quidditch robes.

"What's with the Quidditch Robes?" Audrey asked me

"Oh." I said, remembering Oliver's spare training robes are still in my wardrobe, after all this is his apartment too.

I honestly hadn't given a second thought to her discovering them, after all I wasn't going to go around hiding half of my life and that's what Oliver was to me, it would be absurd to hide our salt and pepper shakers just in case it came up that Oliver and I bought them when we visited Cornwall, on one of our first holidays. So it seemed similarly strange not to let her know these things.

"Am I discovering something here, a fetish?" She asked wrapping her arms around my waist, she looked up at me simling naughtily.

I trapped her in my embrace not wanting her to move away when I said the words, studying her carefully to read the emotions in her face, before replying honestly;

"They belong to my boyfriend."

Our little breakfast bar wouldn't hold everything we'd cooked in a welcome-home-until-next-season celebration, so we were balancing some plates on two chairs, I watched them carefully certain they would slip.

"I'm really glad to be home." Oliver said for the third time, taking a sip of his wine. The dark liquid travelled up and down the glass staining his lips for just a moment.

"And I'm really glad to have you home." I told him again.

"Well then why are you acting so weird?" He said laughing.

"I'm not." I said defensively.

"You really are, Perce, what's got you so nervous?" He said taking my hand.

I took a deep breath.

"I've met someone." I told him.

He pulled away from me, speechless, his eyes filled with hurt.

"It's not like that," I told him, grasping on to his hand. "I want to make it work, I think we can. I think you'll like her."

"Her?" Oliver said wrenching out of my grasp. "Some slut?."

"It's not like that." I insisted

"Really, Percy, because I was pretty sure I was your boyfriend, and we were exclusive but apparently I've been living in some alternate reality." Oliver shouted

I didn't answer, I hated it when he shouted.

"Oh for fucks sake, Percy. You expect me not to be angry? You've been screwing someone else and you want to rationally discuss this?" Oliver said mockingly

"I was sure you would like her." I said quietly. "I thought it would work out."

"You can't have your cake and eat it, Percy Weasley." Oliver said slamming out of the apartment.

The next day

Oliver was not in the mood for this, he was being followed down Diagon Alley. Oliver had to admit they were being very stealthy, every time he turned to look in a shop window he saw no one behind him. Eventually he figured he'd have to bite the bullet and turn around he couldn't have someone following him back to where he was staying. Spinning around he collided with a small brunette woman in green robes.

"Sorry," he apologised, helping her up. "I thought someone was following me, must be getting paranoid."

"I was," she said

"You were?" Oliver said, she didn't look at all like the maniac fan type, she looked relatively normal.

"I'm Audrey," she explained.

When Oliver continued to look bemused she asked;

"You are Oliver Wood?"

"Yes, but I'm afraid I don't know who you are." Oliver apologised

"That's ok, I'm not meant to be talking to you. I just really wanted to see you."

"Why aren't you allowed to talk to me?" Oliver asked curious

"I should really go now, don't tell Percy I met you." She called over her shoulder. She'd apparated away before Oliver could call her back.

The next evening there was a sharp knock at his hotel door, confused Oliver opened to see Percy.

Percy forced him back into the room kissing him hard on the lips before Oliver remembered himself and squarely punched Percy in the jaw.

"I apologise," Percy said, "I just can't bear to be in the same country as you and not see you."

Oliver didn't say anything, he didn't want to admit he felt the same. They sat on the bed in silence whilst Percy healed his jaw.

"So you met Audrey" "I met Audrey," Oliver and Percy said together.

"You told her to stay away, why?" Oliver asked

"I got the impression you didn't want to meet her." Percy told him, "and I wanted to be on better terms with you, before the two of you met. I was stupid to think I could tell her what to do."

"How long has she known?" Oliver asked, she'd taken it surprisingly better than he had if she'd only just found out.

"Since we first started dating pretty much." Percy told him

"So she's just fine with it?" Oliver said

"She's really something." Percy said with a grin

Oliver scowled, that grin used to be reserved for him alone.

This was typical of Percy, thought Oliver, always wanting things his way. Then again it was typical of Oliver, he always wanted Percy this way, why did Oliver have to fall in love with the most complicated man ever? Not just any man but the Minister of Magic as well. Why couldn't he just settle down with a normal boyfriend one who didn't want to include his girlfriend into their decade long relationship.

"I just don't get it." Oliver said finally, standing up.

Percy looked at him confused, "What don't you get?"

"You're gay, Perce. I'm gay. We have been for years," Oliver said "you can't come in here and kiss me like you just did and then seriously expect me to believe you want her as well."

Percy just grinned at him sheepishly.

"Hello,"

"Hello."

Audrey and Oliver looked at each other awkwardly and then looked away. They both knew plenty about each other but neither had met since that day in Diagon Alley. Percy had been splitting his time pretty evenly between both of them, although he spent a lot more time at the Ministry.

Despite himself Oliver decided to ask Audrey for a drink, if nothing else maybe he could find out if it was safe to go back to the flat, his flat.

Audrey practically skipped, she knew Percy didn't want to choose between them but she also knew he would choose Oliver if he had to, after all they had only been dating a few months.

"Let's talk about something other than Percy," Audrey suggested eager to make a good first impression.

Oliver nodded, maybe it would be nice to know what kind of person she was. After all Percy seemed to think she was all that.

They were three drinks in soon enough, and Oliver had to admit Audrey was a real firecracker. Percy had his hands full here, no wonder he wanted some help.

Although they'd sworn not to get on to the subject of Percy he couldn't help but ask.

"Why?"

Audrey seemed to know what he meant.

"After he told me about you, I was certain I should leave, you're practically married, you've been together so long. It's just Percy, he's so convincing."

"Don't blame yourself, he convinced an entire country to make him their leader." Oliver consoled her.

"I'm sorry," she said

"With Percy, we're all screwed." said Oliver, "besides there's worse people you could get into bed with."

Audrey snickered, Oliver rolled his eyes.

"Come on, let's get you home, I can't have you drunk in the middle of the day. Where do you live?" He asked wrapping one arm around her waist for support.

"I mostly just stay with Percy." She said off-handedly

"Of course you do," muttered Oliver, Percy would keep a beautiful mistress in their home.

Oliver apparated them home, stumbling with the extra weight. All of a sudden Audrey went into an unexpected rant.

"I don't know why I even date Percy, he's always working, he cheated on you-"

"And on you" Oliver admitted

"He lies." Audrey ranted on, tugging at her robes unsuccessfully.

"What about the secrecy?" Oliver encouraged, despite himself this was fun, he'd never been able to vent his frustration about his relationship with Percy to anyone before.

"Yes! Why can't we go public? Or even tell his family? Or at least some of his friends. I don't get to meet anyone not even as an acquaintance."

Oliver moved forward to give her a hand as she shook at her sleeve, in her urge to de-robe, she hadn't taken into account the effects of her midday-drinking. Audrey seemed to be having a harder time of it than he had. Plenty of their friends knew about Percy and him, although they kept in touch less and less these days. Fred and George had known about them when they were at Hogwarts. Although, they thought it was just a phase, or a bit of a lark.

"Gosh, I hate Percy Weasley, I need to write this stuff down. I always forget it." She said stalking off to the bedroom in a state of semi-undress.

Five minutes later, when greeted with absolute silence, Oliver went to find where Audrey had disappeared to. Only to discover her fast asleep on Percy's side of the bed.

Oliver couldn't think of anything better to do than have a nap, especially in his own bed for once, so he decided to lie down as well, which is how Percy found them.

Finding your two favourite people in the world asleep in your bed, after a long and tiring day of meetings and other things you'd like to forget about, Percy decided it was entirely forgivable to nestle himself between the two sleepers for a little nap. However, when he was awoken a few hours later he found this decision had not been taken well.

"So you just thought that was fine did you, Perce?" Oliver asked

They were in the kitchen, Audrey was still asleep.

Percy nodded, it was his bed too, and they were asleep.

"You should have woken us up especially with how things stand." Oliver told him.

"I'm sorry." Percy said not feeling very apologetic, Oliver seemed to pick up on his tone.

"My actions are not your actions." Oliver told him. "You can't just pretend everything is fine."

Oliver filled up the kettle as Percy sat admiring him.

"So you like her too do you?" Percy asked him.

"I don't know what you are talking about Percy Weasley." Oliver replied throwing two tea bags into the pot.

"I know you Oliver Wood, I know when you like someone." Percy said "and it looks like we have the same taste in women."

"I don't have any 'taste in women', though maybe I should, seeing as my taste in men seems to be exceptionally poor." Oliver said with a harsh glare at the boiling kettle.

"I love you, Oliver Wood."

Oliver sighed and splashed the boiling water into the teapot.

"Go and wake your girlfriend," he told Percy a faint smile playing around his lips.